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I was in the Clinton Army. Nothing else to do but drink, get in trouble with the locals and enjoy the re-enlistment bonuses.

The getting chased by a korean mob was of course when I was overseas in Korea. We went to the Southern part of South Korea. The night before we partied hard with a group of Russian Saliors (I still have the wrist watch I traded my PX timex for) so we were super drunk. We decided to go to this mountian which is a tourist trap and of super religous import to the Koreans. As we got to the top there is a huge boulder overlooking the city. I was trying to read the info about the place on a sign when of my friends bounds out of the woodline butt a*s naked and jumps ontop of the boulder. With all the Koreans and us looking up at him as big jim and the twins showing off to all the world he held his arms out like in the Titanic Movie and screamed, "I'm king of the world!" I look at the crowd they were staring at us. I scream at our group, " this! RUN!" Lest say that we caught the first train out of town.

I started a fight at a mall with ten guys from a rival high school. It was actually not as dumb an idea as it sounds, because I had a dozen buddies with me. The cool part was, seeing out of the corner of my eye the mall's one eighty-year old rent-a-cop running the other way. And a crowd of about fifty other assorted people cheering us on. I somehow lost my shirt, a nearly brand-new iron maiden powerslave tour shirt but I mysteriously ended up with somebody else's leather jacket. That was our last adventure before that mall totally turned to gak, and gangs started hanging around who carried guns. And by the way, I believe everybody involved in the fight was sloppy drunk, so very little serious damage was done.

warpcrafter wrote: I somehow lost my shirt, a nearly brand-new iron maiden powerslave tour shirt but I mysteriously ended up with somebody else's leather jacket.

excellent.

Not mine, but a friend of mine was coming out of a bar with some friends as Tony Danza was about to go in. He stops him and goes, "Oh my god! You're Tony Danza! Question: Have you ever done the 'Tony Danza' to anyone?"

Tony Danza replied in the negative and asked what that was. After having it explained to him, Tony Danza laughed and they all went back in to drink with him.

Another couple of stories both from Korea. First, it started with a quarter night at the All-Ranks Club which ended up in Yong-song. In a drunken stuper we found at s*x shop and after about fifteen minutes we walked out with a hugh box of toys of the male shape. As we start to sober up on the train ride back to Camp Humphreys we started to ask each other why we had a box of 50+ oscer myers and the looks from the Koreans around us was of disgust.

We got back to the barracks and the next day we started a training excersize. As I was in charge of the defense of the flightline I had to test the readiness of the defensive posistions. After a few more drinks with my Sgt Major we were devising some plans in order to probe the defense then a idea came to us. An hour and half later of drunken power tool use we started to move out with our box of toys and our recent build.

Sneaking up to our posistion is kind of hard to do when you are drunk and have a glow in the dark oscer myers in your ruck sack. We set up our posistion and deployed our drunken creation, a potato launcher morter. The posistion that we were going to attack saw us setting up but could not get a clear shot with their MILES gear. They stopped firing when they reliezed that we could not get a rifle shot on them and then stood up a bit to see what we were doing.

FRUMP! the first of our drunken purcheses were launched high into the air. Both of the soldiers were looking at the thing wiggling through the air as it arced toward them. I heard, "Hey what is that?" SMACK "OWWW! My eye!" "OMFG your just got hit in the eye with a p*n^s!" FOr the next two and half hours we were taking shots of JD and water from our canteens as we assault three more fighting posistion.

You should have heard the radio traffic, it was great. A new low.

The second story is that at the bottom of the box we found an inflatible doll. The next day we went to 3rd Shop and got a case of fix-a-flat and then had an idea. I female soldier left a pair of BDU's in my barracks room and forgot them when she left country. So we got drunk, filled the doll with fix-a-flat, dressed it in the BDUs, tied a noose around it's neck and dragged it to the top of the watertower. I called the desk sgt on duty and told him what we just did and that we wanted to play a joke on the new kid right from AIT. He agreed and the radio call went out over the air of person on the water tower and that the private needed to go.

He showed up and saw the doll standing on the edge of the tower looking like it was about to jump. "Don't Jump! You have so much to live for!" he shouted. A Blackhawk passed by and the roter wash pushed the doll off and he screamed and ran all the way back to the PMO. We climbed out of the bushed, hid his patrol car, took the doll down and threw it into the incinerator. So when he came back with the Desk Sgt he couldn't explain why there was no body and why his car was jacked up ontop of 150 sandbags. It was so classic.

Does sleeping soundly through the night when I first started out count? And I know what your thinking, I shouldn't be drinking, I'm not 18 yet. But I've been endorsed by a few members of dakka, as well as a few of my teachers (when they where off work obviosly).

Never did much of anything drunk, mostly cause I don't drink to that point (don't want the parents to find out do we?). But I have come up with some good ideas, such as making a massive smoke bomb and throwing it in the way of friends when they are biking. Always fun to see them freak out cause they can't see through the pall of yellow, purple and green smoke.

Friend of mine woke up curled up in a friend's bathroom, pants and boxers around his ankles, no memory of the previous night.

Same night my friend was feeling sick so I grabbed the first thing I found for him to throw up in. It was a cake pan from his kitchen (the kind with a hole in the middle to make a round cake and such) so he spent the night hurling into it. Later, his mom asked him why it was in the dishwasher, since she hadn't used it. He couldn't tell her why of course, so it went back on the shelf.
Moral of this story: Don't eat cake at my friend's house.

Ever been the kind of drunk where you know you're drunk, but you're a better driver for it?

greenskin lynn wrote:um......i've tried my hand at fire-breathing after a night of drinking.
I can get a pretty good fireball with everclear, but man that stuff is rough on your mouth.

I've also managed to hit it off fairly well with the occasional cute lass thanks to being more relaxed then usual after a few drinks.

Yes... it ... is.
In this example you can actually see the stupidity take effect (around one minute) and the results are... stupid. Shooting people like this with spit-balls is perfectly fine. At one minute you can actually see the divine intervention of total idiocy, DO NOT BE THE PERSON SITTING NEXT TO THIS GUY.

Can you see the moron on everyones faces? Just take a minute to look at the video in still, I can hear them thinking, and it is most definitely hilarious.




Once I farted, burped, and vomited at the same time... or so I am told.

Here is the other side of drinking... I don't think it is me.

greenskin lynn wrote:um......i've tried my hand at fire-breathing after a night of drinking.
I can get a pretty good fireball with everclear, but man that stuff is rough on your mouth.

Be glad you used everclear. My buddies and I decided to give this a go, but went for lighter fluid instead. Apparently the word toxic doesn't register at 4 am after a handle of Jim Bean. The weirdest part of it all was how the lighter fluid tasted- it tasted like tingling blue raspberry, at least I think it did before my mouth went numb.

OH yeah!

I dunno if this necessarily counts as cool, but it was certainly an experience.

Round my favourite foreigners flat, playing Trivial Pursuit with a former member of The Damned. Who had met Brian Blessed once.

Top that.

(Has to do it...)

Brian BLEEEESSSSEEEEDDD!

(Cough...)

Heh, sweet. Uh, bit late saying this but, a 20ft long, 10 ft wide glowing cock should definately be on YouTube. Not that I'm encouraging (go) it (do) with (it) subliminal (now) messaging.