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Made in nl
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Decrepit Dakkanaut






Cozy cockpit of an Archer ARC-5S

Most remakes blow. There's also Enemy at the Gates, Pearl Harbor and Quantum of Solace.



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Fiat justitia ruat caelum

 
   
Made in gb
Fixture of Dakka






Sheffield, UK

In no particular order: 300, Sin City, Batman Begins, Wolverine Origins, Transformers 2.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/07/27 10:21:36


Spain in Flames: Flames of War (Spanish Civil War 1936-39) Flames of War: Czechs and Slovaks (WWI & WWII) Sheffield & Rotherham Wargames Club

"I'm cancelling you, I'm cancelling you out of shame like my subscription to White Dwarf." - Mark Corrigan: Peep Show
 
   
Made in nl
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Decrepit Dakkanaut






Cozy cockpit of an Archer ARC-5S

Watchmen, X-Men 3, DOOM



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Buzzard's Knob

'I spit on your grave.' Flat acting, tired premise, no budget.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! 
   
Made in gb
Major





Sorry but most of the answers on here are terrible.

300? Watchmen? Superman Returns? Transformers 2?Quantum of Solace?

Disappointing, overrated or flawed may be appropriate descriptions for some of these flicks, but non of them are anywhere near ‘worst movie ever’, and describing them as such is just hyperbole. If these truly are the worst movies you ever see then count yourselves lucky.

Jaws: The Revenge
Batman and Robin
Scary Movie 2
Disaster/Epic Movie/Meet the Spartans
Charlie’s Angels 2
Superman 4

Are the worst movies I’ve ever sat through.

"And if we've learnt anything over the past 1000 mile retreat it's that Russian agriculture is in dire need of mechanisation!" 
   
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Killer Klaivex






Forever alone

I'll heartily agree with you that the line of Scary/Disaster/Epic/Spartans is awful. Those writers should have been sacked a long time ago. It might just be me, but a lot of American comedies that I see nowadays are just really, really bad. I suppose it might be because they're meant to appeal to young adults/college-age Americans, and I have to say that having been raised with a sense of humour fired by Monty Python, Red Dwarf, and other British comedies has dulled my impression of modern comedy a lot.

People are like dice, a certain Frenchman said that. You throw yourself in the direction of your own choosing. People are free because they can do that. Everyone's circumstances are different, but no matter how small the choice, at the very least, you can throw yourself. It's not chance or fate. It's the choice you made. 
   
Made in nl
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Decrepit Dakkanaut






Cozy cockpit of an Archer ARC-5S

Opinions Lucius, opinions.



Fatum Iustum Stultorum



Fiat justitia ruat caelum

 
   
Made in gb
Fixture of Dakka






Sheffield, UK

LuciusAR wrote:Disappointing, overrated or flawed may be appropriate descriptions for some of these flicks, but non of them are anywhere near ‘worst movie ever’, and describing them as such is just hyperbole. If these truly are the worst movies you ever see then count yourselves lucky.

Fair enough, they just stuck in my mind. I change my vote to: Bloodrayne

Spain in Flames: Flames of War (Spanish Civil War 1936-39) Flames of War: Czechs and Slovaks (WWI & WWII) Sheffield & Rotherham Wargames Club

"I'm cancelling you, I'm cancelling you out of shame like my subscription to White Dwarf." - Mark Corrigan: Peep Show
 
   
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Anti-Armour Swiss Guard






Newcastle, OZ

Hordini wrote:What's wrong with Peter Jackson's King Kong? I thought it was a pretty good pulp adventure movie, something you don't see much of anymore.

Oh, and please do tell which parts from Lord of the Rings that you thought sucked. I always like hearing about that.



1. PJ's King Kong. What's wrong with it? over 3 hours and they only get to the fething monkey around 30 minutes from the end. I paid to see a giant fething monkey, not 2 1/2 hours of filler.

2. LoTR? Hobbits. Elves. Magic swords. Dodgy special effects. Oh, and can we say "get to the fething point!" - I don't need to see a trek across the mountains in real time when NOTHING happens there anyway. Pacing. It had none.

PJ is responsible for the best 13 or so hours of sleep I've ever had. I've attended all 8 of his movies at a cinema. I slept through the last 4.

+1 Any movie by Michael Moore.

I'm OVER 50 (and so far over everyone's BS, too).
Old enough to know better, young enough to not give a ****.

That is not dead which can eternal lie ...

... and yet, with strange aeons, even death may die.
 
   
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Where ever the Emperor needs his eyes

malfred wrote:
Star Wars 3


Episode Three was by far the best of the new trilogy.

I'd list horrible movies but I fear the list would just go on and on and on and on and on and on and on.
   
Made in gb
Brainy Zoanthrope






Aberdeen, Scotland.

Xav wrote:Probaly Alien 3 it sucked, but the next one Alien ressurection wasnt half bad.


What the have you been smoking?!?!?! I'll assume that's a typo and the film titles were meant to be in the other order.

Alien 3 was brilliant, it is one of those films that grows on you the more you watch it. I would say it's my favourite, but all three (I know there's four, but I'll get to that in a minute) are different styles of film so it's hard to pick one out. I really like the human element, Charles Dance's character being my personal fav, and the idea of some of the hardened criminals finding redemption (of a sort) through the situation which arose with the Alien.
I only said three films as I am a huge fan of the series and I refuse to acknowledge Alien Resurrection. As much as I love Ron Pearlman, the film is poorly written, poorly acted and just craps on all that has gone before it. Plus what the were they thinking with the hybrid alien at the end?

So I guess Alien Resurrection would have to be one of my worst films ever. Another choice of mine would be Starship Troopers 2, I bought it from a bargin bin ages ago and in the end threw it in the bin. I couldn't give it away for free!

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2009/07/27 12:50:00


The world needs wannabes.

 
   
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The Great State of Texas

Cheese Elemental wrote:It's a kid's animated movie, garret. It doesn't need a plot or any serious themes.

Besides, you're a bit old for Spongebob.

Both are true statements


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Movies I saw voluntarily
Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer
Hannibal
Alexander
Heaven's Gate
Phantasm


Movies I was forced to see:
Fried Green Tomatoes (Oh the humanity!!!)
The Spirit
Cold Mountain
The raping of Indiana Jones er sorry Indiana Jones and Crystal Skull

Did we actually have to see it? If not:
Mamma Mia.
every Friday the 13th movie ever made.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Oh how could I forget. Howard the Duck. I died a little for the 7 miutes I watched it on cable.

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2009/07/27 13:29:25


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Longtime Dakkanaut






Las Vegas

Hordini wrote:What's wrong with the first two Batman films? I love the Dark Knight but I think Batman and Batman Returns are great films, but for different reasons than the Dark Knight of course. Batman Forever and Batman and Robin are total crap though.

What's wrong with Peter Jackson's King Kong? I thought it was a pretty good pulp adventure movie, something you don't see much of anymore.

Oh, and please do tell which parts from Lord of the Rings that you thought sucked. I always like hearing about that.


I can think of a lot of movies that are bad, but I'm struggling to pick a few that I would say are the worst ever.


Wrexasaur wrote:Don't worry Hordini you have a wing-man here .

Lord of the rings for the...

...Batman films are the best in the series for me, the new ones almost get on my nerves with the pretentiousness...


From the beginning of Burton's Batman film, I felt like something was off. It's been a while so I can't remember exactly how I felt other than it was just a little off. Maybe it was too much fairy tale and not enough reality (yeah, I know, it is fiction), maybe the look, the actor, I don't know exactly, it just wasn't one thing. When the two Machine Guns popped out of the Batmobile the film began to lose me. When missiles popped out of the Batplane and he fired them at the Joker I almost left the theater. Where were any detective aspects of Batman in these films (although they were probably there, I don't remember them)? I also didn't like that the movie really wasn't about Batman it was much more about a too old Nicholson's Joker.

As the movies progressed they got bigger, crazier and crappier (for me) and every villain seemed to be imitating Nicholson (whom I didn't think was bad as the Joker, just too old and fat and not athletic enough).

Note: Oddly enough I actually like Kilmer as Batman in 'Forever' (I know, I've heard it before). Don't misunderstand, the movie was overblown and crappy but Kilmer seemed to 'get' how bad and cheesy it was because he seems to be doing an impersonation of Adam West for most of the film.

I also like the newer Batman films but I do agree (to some extent) only because they are the 'closest' to what I envision of the character. I am not 'ga-ga' over them, though. I liked Ledger's Joker but I think it still missed some of Nicholson's aspects actually.

King Kong: His combination of ridiculously over-the-top action (so much so I was bored by it) and his way too serious take on the Kong/Girl relationship was just not good. The film was long, over-hyped and pompous. Also, I really didn't want to see a giant silver-backed gorilla, I wanted to see something else not just an animal I had already seen a LOT of in zoos, on Discovery, that Sigourney Weaver movie, etc. albeit in huge proportions. PJ seemed to try to blend a serious drama with an action-adventure movie by remaking the original (and one of the best) action-adventures ever. It did not work for me. Also, I always wanted to time it but never wanted to sit through the film again but didn't it take like three solid minutes for Kong to actually fall off the top of the Empire State Building? Yawn, just yawn.

Many of these LoTR points are comparisons to the book and yes, I know what kind of ire that will cause, but you asked...

LoTR: Army of the Dead = Deus Ex Machina, 'nuff said.
Faramir - Fundamentally changed from the book. He became a MUCH less noble person in the movie, and hence, pretty dull.
Samwise - He took the ring for himself only to realize how evil it was and denied it (Tolkien's statement on nobility coming from anyone). Where was this scene?
Legolas - Sliding down an Oliphant trunk. What? Just, wha- what?
Gimli - Too much used as comedy relief. Gimli and Legolas were equals and became great friends. Much of this is missing.
PJ's too often signature 'Eye rolling' action sequence. FotR: Breaking steps, TT: Shield Slide, RotK: Aforementioned Legolas trunk slide.
I didn't like the way PJ handled his over-long multiple denouement. Yawn.
Where was the scouring of the Shire? The Hobbits never got to come full circle as characters.
Back to the multiple denouements. Too much forced weepiness for me. I understand what he was trying to do but I thought PJ (through his use of music and mood) tried to 'tell' us how we should feel instead of opening it up a bit for interpretation (if that makes sense). I felt a more talented filmmaker would have backed off a bit.

Before uninformed others respond in the obigatory, "You're so full of crap..." posts. Please understand a few points:

I was asked what I didn't like about these movies. (if even with a )
I do enjoy LoTR. These are just some particulars that didn't work for me.
These are my opinions and not yours.

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2009/07/27 15:28:47


 
   
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Friend and I went to see Romeo Must Die with Jet Li.

As the credits rolled up, we both said, 'if you weren't here, I would have gotten up and left.'

Horrible film.

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Omadon's Realm

Some recent ones that spring to mind:

Babel. A massively arrogant, pretentious glimpse into the lives of the least sympathetic characters on earth. Depressing gak.

Inland Empire. 3 hours of incoherent drivel, white noise and it's all 'art' apparently. Lynch at his worst.

10,000 BC. W.T.F.... terrible 'mammoth in pyramid building exposé'... my eyezzzzzzz

Indiana Jones and the Crystal skull hokum. Please.Stop.Raping.My.Childhood....(hmm, Blanchett with black bobbed hair and a dodgy Russian accent was hot tho...)

The 3 Starwars Prequels. George Locust should never have been introduced to blue rooms...



 
   
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Longtime Dakkanaut






Las Vegas

Replacement Killers - Y'know, when you throw around John Woo's name it should have some solid (if too stylized) action. Not endless slow motion.

 
   
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About to eat your Avatar...

BrookM wrote:Opinions Lucius, opinions. From mars with a telescope no less.


Fixed that for you.

MeanGreenStompa wrote:Indiana Jones and the Crystal skull hokum. Please.Stop.Raping.My.Childhood....(hmm, Blanchett with black bobbed hair and a dodgy Russian accent was hot tho...)


Yes, this movie was a total slap in the face to the trilogy, thank god quadrilogy just sounds stupid, a sign of the times you could say.

The scene that made me nearly burn the movie before returning it just to save someone the torture of sitting through it in the future was:

The jungle car fight... thing. NOTHING could have been worse than this, they might as well been sitting on chairs pretending to drive the cars, AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL OMG MY EYES OMG NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/07/27 15:48:58



 
   
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Fixture of Dakka






Sheffield, UK

MeanGreenStompa wrote:Inland Empire. 3 hours of incoherent drivel, white noise and it's all 'art' apparently. Lynch at his worst.

You were unimpressed with a Lynch film because it was incoherent?!? Mrs Spiggott loves 'em, I won't watch anything except Dune.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/07/28 00:55:14


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Indiana Jones 4 was pretty bad but I expected it to be and was slightly impressed. (I did say slightly)

Too much overused CGI! This is true of too many movies. You expect it from SyFy shows but...

 
   
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Decrepit Dakkanaut






Omadon's Realm

George Spiggott wrote:
MeanGreenStompa wrote:Inland Empire. 3 hours of incoherent drivel, white noise and it's all 'art' apparently. Lynch at his worst.

You were unimpressed with a Lynch film because it was incoherent?!? Mrs Spiggott loes 'em, I won't watch anything except Dune.


Ah, well I've liked lots of Lynch's stuff, Blue Velvet and most especially Wild at Heart, but Inland Empire played for 3 hours of 'this is art, you wouldn't understand, now nod along with everyone else and say how deep and amazing it was and people will think you're cultured' emperor's new clothes bs, and at 3 hours long, it drove me to my limits of patience, when it finished it was like taking a breath of air after being held under very dirty water for too long. I watched it with a total Lynch nut and he also agreed it was 'kinda heavy'...

Pretentious.

BTW George, is that Avatar of yours Molly Millions from the Gibson books?

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2009/07/27 16:12:42




 
   
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Nashville, TN

Three words:

Punch Drunk Love!!!!

At least the first 15 mins were horrible, I never saw the rest.

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Piercing the heavens

I don't want to take part in a longer argument about now (don't want to de-rail the thread), LotR, PJ's King Kong and Burton's Batman are among my favourite movies.

Back on topic:

A friend of mine recently made me watch dumb & dumber. I saw it once years and years ago, so I didn't remember much of it. And I really like Jim Carrey. Ace Ventura, the Mask, Truman Show, you just can't denie the man has talent.
But damn, Dumb & Dumber must've been the worst movie I've seen in years! Every single scene made me grown in pain. And Carrey isn't even funny. It's like he's not even trying.
btw. I've never seen Cable Guy.
   
Made in gb
Fixture of Dakka






Sheffield, UK

@ Meangreenstompa: Nah, it's Elly Jackson from La Roux. I like your interpretation better though.

OT: Mulholland Drive is pretty nonsensical; I forgot Wild at Heart was his, maybe he can write a narative that makes sense.

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Nasty Nob






Joplin, Missouri

I'll just go top 5 that I've seen:
*House of the Dead
*Arlington Road
*Silent Hill
*Doom
*Batman & Robin

There are of course those special movies that I will never, ever see (excluding viewings while intoxicated).

*Any Uwe Boll movie (House of the Dead was enough for me, thank you)
*Scary Movie 5+ and Disaster/Spartan/Derpa derpa doo movies by the Waylan bros or whoever. You seriously think that just because you cast Carmen Electra in a movie we're going to watch it.
*Animated/kid spy movies (G-Force, Spy Kids, etc...)
*Anything that has the Sci-Fi Channel tag. If it's crappy enough to have its premier on the Sci-Fi Channel, it's too fecal-like for my tastes.

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Southeastern PA, USA

Van Helsing trumps 98% of what's been listed here.

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Decrepit Dakkanaut






Omadon's Realm

gorgon wrote:Van Helsing trumps 98% of what's been listed here.


Except for one quite massive factor....






 
   
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The Great State of Texas

MGS is there something there? I can't see it.

-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
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Brainy Zoanthrope






Aberdeen, Scotland.

MeanGreenStompa wrote:
gorgon wrote:Van Helsing trumps 98% of what's been listed here.


Except for one quite massive factor....





Totally agree. She is quite possibly the most beautiful woman on the planet at present.

The world needs wannabes.

 
   
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Las Vegas

gorgon wrote:Van Helsing trumps 98% of what's been listed here.


Winner!!!

MeanGreenStompa wrote:
gorgon wrote:Van Helsing trumps 98% of what's been listed here.


Except for one quite massive factor....





QFT but not enough to save that film. When Jackman and Beckinsale can't save it, you know it is bad.

 
   
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About to eat your Avatar...

Anung Un Rama wrote:
btw. I've never seen Cable Guy.


I highly recommend it regardless of it's shortcomings, it is genuinely creepy and slightly disturbing, hence me wanting to see Jim Carrey REALLY play a villian. I think he was pretty good in the long named movie for kids (yes... that was the name alright) where he played a Scrooges cousin, but it was the long named movie for kids, and a bit meh because of it.

Take out the kids, and add a anarchistic cult with surreal dreams of toppling society and you got yourself a throne prepped and ready for a master. I really hope he decides to do something like this, and if I had a chance I would request/ask it of him as a big fan. You don't have to use anarchists BTW, but it most definitely has to be sickeningly and comically surreal with a subtle nuance of madness and a slight dash of insanity.

A spin on Fight Club could work quite well, but with a bit more WRONG! and a bit less I AM SO RIGHT IT! (yeah... AND insane). I can only imagine how cool a movie that could be.

Who could direct that movie? Could Tim Burton do it? I think he could! Oh man I am salivating at the thought of a movie on a scale of these proportions!!! OMFGTRRRHHHDDFGGGSSSBBBBBBTTTTTTTBBBPPPHHHHHHhthtTTTtttt....

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2009/07/27 19:05:34



 
   
 
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