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agnosto wrote:

Frazzled wrote: She'll decide when to have kids.

So speaks the voice of experience. Every man knows who actually controls the marriage.

As for me, the commandant hasn't issued marching orders for my frog-men so no babies here. I'm sure as soon as she makes up her mind, I'll be the last to know. Not crazy about the idea either because I would love to squirrel all the money we would waste on kids away and retire early.

Yep.

Karon wrote:She told me straight up, half an hour ago, she wanted to have kids when we get married.

I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to have kids, at all.

IMO, this is going to be a real "dealbreaker" problem, and you need to talk with her, not us.

We sat down on the couch and talked about it.

Basically, she said she was just saying that eventually, she would like to have kids. And I agreed, eventually.

She said that we will have kids when she finishes painting her fething wood elves (so probably 24th century)

I overreacted, I should have known better, I forgot who my girl really was.

Appreciate all the commentary from child-bearing folk, I really do.

Heh, I can see you’ve reached the state where you take something from relationship, completely freak out over what that means for the whole goddamn rest of your life, then go and talk to your girl about it, which inevitably puts everything into perspective.

I know this because I’ve done the same thing in past relationships, and am just reaching the stage in my relationship where I’m about to start doing it again.


Also, there’s hardly any guys out there that like other people’s kids. It’s just different when it’s your own.

If she wants kids, she is going to have them buddy.

With or without you.....

Karon wrote:
I overreacted, I should have known better, I forgot who my girl really was.

... and I second the sebster. Talk about stuff, even - heck, especially - the awkward stuff. It really is the only way to preserve sanity.

It's weird, the whole small people thing. My wife's a day overdue on #2, and I'm still vaguey puzzled by it all. When people ask me if I'm building a football team, I simply say, "No, collecting another army." For what it's worth, my 2 1/2 year old is very good at drybrushing. It's a practical use for them, if nothing else.

Karon wrote:We sat down on the couch and talked about it.

Basically, she said she was just saying that eventually, she would like to have kids. And I agreed, eventually.

She said that we will have kids when she finishes painting her fething wood elves (so probably 24th century)

I overreacted, I should have known better, I forgot who my girl really was.

Appreciate all the commentary from child-bearing folk, I really do.

Ok all clear.

I still think my idea was better.

inmygravenimage wrote:For what it's worth, my 2 1/2 year old is very good at drybrushing. It's a practical use for them, if nothing else.

@Fagin: You know that Dickensian Child Labor is illegal, now, right?

I follow gap's example: clothes by kids, for kids.

inmygravenimage wrote:I follow gap's example: clothes by kids, for kids.

nice!

Married 4 years.
Engaged for 2 before that.
Together for 9 years prior to this.
Known wife for over 20 years all up.

The closest we got was when my wife asked me if I wanted kids (because she can't have them).

I said I didn't. I don't particularly like kids either.
Our 'breeder' friends will drop their offspring into my lap to look after while they do something else and the child stops making noise and settles down quick as.

I had the exact same stance on kids before we had kids. I was a loner, had few friends and absolutely HATED children, the little basterds.
That being said, our first child was basically an accident, so when I found out we were pregnant I pretty much crapped my pants and had dred hit me in the face.

But here we are years later, now have 2 children, I have to say they are my world. Really sometimes it IS the ones that dont like/want children that are the best parents. Its pretty amazing how children just completely take over your life and your totally cool with it

Good luck and have fun makin babies

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat

Very good parenting advice.

JohnHwangDD wrote:

Karon wrote:She told me straight up, half an hour ago, she wanted to have kids when we get married.

I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to have kids, at all.

IMO, this is going to be a real "dealbreaker" problem, and you need to talk with her, not us.

Ah what would she know that we don't. She might be the fiance but we're a bunch of loudmouths on the intarwebs.

I suggest that you ask her f you can adopt a russian baby,and name him paco.

If I ever have sons, I will only ever have two.

They're names would be Wesley and Keelan.

The third, if by accident, would be named Aron.

All after certain people that I've encountered in my life.

Why not go for Cain & Abel, then Seth?

OK, 39 here, married 11 years with 6 kids.

We wanted children and a large family. Our oldest is 10, so we didnt wait long

23 is pretty young to get married IMHO. Granted my wife was 24 when we got married, but women generally mature faster than men When I was 23, marriage was the furthest thing from my mind.

Her wanting kids and you not would be a major thing, but I think youre young enough that you are still forming who you are - the adult you - and will probably change your mind down the road (your choice of Che as an avatar leads me to believe this-may as well have Hitler there, but I digress).

Dont press her too hard for the talk, or you may find yourself with an ex-fiancé, but I would have the talk with her at some point before the wedding or you may wind up with a bitter wife/ex-wife.

what about daughters, karon? what would their names be?

Cordelia, Goneril, Regan...

Karon wrote:
The third, if by accident, would be named Aron.

Quit playing pokemon!

Cordelia, Goneril, Regan
--------
sigh...actually Lear's daughters have nice names except for the middle one. it sounds disease ridden.

If I ever have kids, I want daughters. They hate their moms more, so I would be safer.