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Jihallah wrote:Maybe not 40k but i have made the nerdiest joke ever...


One time, after playing Magic a looooong time ago, me and my friend were talking about how our game went and smack talking as usual. After he said something to me, i pulled out a counterspell and said "I counterspell your insult!"


Yes, i am a terrible, terrible nerd at times

I used to manage a comic book store. Shortly after that gig I was working at Dillard's. While taking an order over the phone, a portion of the conversation went something like:

Random Customer: "Crap, my pen died."

Me: "Is there a Cleric nearby?"

Random Customer: "What?"

Me: "Err, I can e-mail you a copy of the number if you'd like."


At the comic store we would get sales calls multiple times a day. They were the kind where a machine answers then asks you to wait on the line to talk to a real person. I started to have fun with this. One time I left the phone off and just breathed normally into the receiver, basically ignoring the guy. He keeps trying to get my attention til eventually he gives a nearly perfect Napoleon Dynamite "or just don't answer, freakin idiot!" We all had a laugh cuz I had him on speaker Another time I got a few of my adventurous staffers to start crying like babies really loudly into the receiver when the person picked up. I then started yelling "DO YOU LIKE BABIES?!" over and over. After a prompt "Oh my GOD!" they hung up.

Pro tip: If you work in a comic store and are in shape and take care of your appearance, the nerd chicks will flock (for better or worse - usually worse) and you'll get promoted.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:
At the comic store we would get sales calls multiple times a day. They were the kind where a machine answers then asks you to wait on the line to talk to a real person. I started to have fun with this. One time I left the phone off and just breathed normally into the receiver, basically ignoring the guy. He keeps trying to get my attention til eventually he gives a nearly perfect Napoleon Dynamite "or just don't answer, freakin idiot!" We all had a laugh cuz I had him on speaker Another time I got a few of my adventurous staffers to start crying like babies really loudly into the receiver when the person picked up. I then started yelling "DO YOU LIKE BABIES?!" over and over. After a prompt "Oh my GOD!" they hung up.

Pro tip: If you work in a comic store and are in shape and take care of your appearance, the nerd chicks will flock (for better or worse - usually worse) and you'll get promoted.

So you basically gak on someone's day when they are already working for a cold calling sales company which is a hell unto it's self... You are the man...


Pro tip: don't tell them about your Faboosh! Lady Gaga fixation lad, or those nerd chicks will assume your 'good with colours'...

I'm bi, and I happen to suck with colors ;D I've had chats with quite a few ladies about the Twilight books and if I were a free man I'd probably take that as an approach. I would toss in that I read them all for my girlfriend's birthday a few years ago, well girlfriend at the time anyway. I've yet to see one lass think that wasn't "sweet." In short, the Gaga thing is only a plus with either gender when played properly. And as for the callers, I asked to be removed from the list several times. I asked to talk to supervisors after jumping through hoops and to be removed. I pressed the automated buttons to be removed. What did I get? "You have been removed for THIS offer."

funniest thing I have seen when playong is that when I was playing my mate he had a chaos mammoth he went to move it and it fell apart. I laughed so hard when it happened

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:I'm bi, and I happen to suck with colors ;D I've had chats with quite a few ladies about the Twilight books and if I were a free man I'd probably take that as an approach. I would toss in that I read them all for my girlfriend's birthday a few years ago, well girlfriend at the time anyway. I've yet to see one lass think that wasn't "sweet." In short, the Gaga thing is only a plus with either gender when played properly. And as for the callers, I asked to be removed from the list several times. I asked to talk to supervisors after jumping through hoops and to be removed. I pressed the automated buttons to be removed. What did I get? "You have been removed for THIS offer."

Right, so we still come back to you being an arse to some poor soul doing their low paid gakky job.

And as my gay friend says, Bi now, Gay later!

Like you'd be so lucky There's a really annoying guy on the Gaga boards who says that a lot. Are you sure you haven't been trolling there? Methinks you're hiding something!

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Like you'd be so lucky There's a really annoying guy on the Gaga boards who says that a lot. Are you sure you haven't been trolling there? Methinks you're hiding something!

I'll never tell!

I was playing a game the other night with an apparant 12 year old who kept killing guys and yelling things like.. "I just served you a hotdog" And "I'll Stir your spaghetti" ..

Riddlebox85 wrote: "I'll Stir your spaghetti" ..

That's a keeper!

Modquisition on everyone play nice...or die!

kanelom wrote:@TEK
*It's worth pointing out that neither of us, nor anyone I play with, is fat or smelly. We're all socially well-adjusted young males with great personal hygeine and fit, healthy bodies. Take that stereotypes!


QFT

Don't quote your own statements. QFT is for someone else's words.duh...

Anyway,so am I! We're creatong a new stereotype here.

Tek wrote:

Ifalna wrote:...sliced open a water melon I brought in one day with the stores replica chaos sword, while drunk, surrounded by children.

Man was a legend.

What a winner. My DA opponent (whilst being a tactical genius) is a hilarious guy. When you consider the pains most adult males go to hide the Warhams from the ladies, and even from other males who just wouldn't get it, every now and then this guy gets all "I'm proud of who I am" about it. A couple of occasions spring to mind, one of which was in the garden of our local. After a few too many bevvies, he starts bellowing into the air "I PLAY WARHAMMER! I PLAY WARHAMMER AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK!!" If that wasn't enough he then starts embracing random members of the public and telling them earnestly that he plays Warhammer.

Another occasion saw me and my IG opponent walking to his house to play a big scheduled game. IG guy keeps his army in a toolbox, as it's not unusual to see a man with a toolbox (I used to keep my army at DA opponent's house) and you know, like I said - we didn't want any females to see us and cajole us about being fat smelly nerds*. So there we are, two burly young men, with a toolbox - nothing to see here girls.
Then DA guy drives right past us, up his road to his house. Apparently he'd been at the FLGS all morning, and came speeding past waving a ginormous empty GW carrier bag like a flag, shouting "Space Marines - Fear, but Follow!!" ond many other DoW quotes. He's doing this whilst driving his car, mind. Imagine mine and IG guy's illusion of manliness, shattered by this spectactle of nerdom. He's my hero.

*It's worth pointing out that neither of us, nor anyone I play with, is fat or smelly. We're all socially well-adjusted young males with great personal hygeine and fit, healthy bodies. Take that stereotypes!

That is truly epic, I just cant stop laughing.

Samus_aran115 wrote:

kanelom wrote:@TEK
*It's worth pointing out that neither of us, nor anyone I play with, is fat or smelly. We're all socially well-adjusted young males with great personal hygeine and fit, healthy bodies. Take that stereotypes!


QFT

Don't quote your own statements. QFT is for someone else's words.duh...

Anyway,so am I! We're creatong a new stereotype here.

I was quoting Tek mate, check the very small font under his post.

Ah, I do recall, while my friends and I were working on a geography project, (building a city, which we would then use for 40k), we would play music to occupy us. My friend really likes the band Rise Against, but I started to get a bit tired of them after listening to them for several days straight. So I started randomly switching songs, playing such lovely music as Soulja Boy-Crank Dat, Rick Astley-Never Gonna Give You Up and several zombie based songs.
My friend's brother also had a bad habit of running amok with a knife/crowbar in hand. That basement was just a death-zone...

I wonder how it feels to get chased by a rampaging music lover...with a knife in his hand...

The very first Dutch GT was a mixed affair, both 40K and WHFB were being held in this big old church, together with a gaming fair!

A friend of mine had entered the 40K competition and because it was a mixed affair we could actually walk around the tournament tables and everything (the next year this all changed, seperate events, no visitors etc.).

And here I spotted this one guy playing WHFB. There's only one word to describe him and that is 'biker'. Long hair, bleached and holed denim pants, a shirt from some hard rock band with the sleeves torn of (black, of course) and a leather sleeveless vest over that, assortment of belts and studs and a big load of tattoos, one of which was obviously a Nurgle tattoo which fit right in with his army! All on a lean, mean weathered body

He's the coolest nerd I've ever seen and a great guy too. Very friendly and outgoing. I saw him on later GT's as well.

Smillie wrote:That is truly epic, I just cant stop laughing.

In hindsight, it's hilarious. gak, at the time it was pretty funny too!

kanelom wrote:

Samus_aran115 wrote:

kanelom wrote:@TEK
*It's worth pointing out that neither of us, nor anyone I play with, is fat or smelly. We're all socially well-adjusted young males with great personal hygeine and fit, healthy bodies. Take that stereotypes!

QFT

Don't quote your own statements. QFT is for someone else's words.duh...

Anyway,so am I! We're creatong a new stereotype here.

I was quoting Tek mate, check the very small font under his post.

Thanks Kan! Let's try to create a new stereotype, for all us awesome wargamers! We're alpha-beings!

Probably the guy who was radomly picking up boxes of the LOTR figures and saying. "tolkien got these wrong... They arent like that in the book!!" Oh how i laughed... I dont think he actually played any games he just went round the store criticising everything he could see.

This guy gets my vote: http://www.belloflostsouls.net/2010/01/wfb-videomy-dark-elf-army-is-greatest.html

"Boom" - heh heh

Samus_aran115 wrote:Fat people who always bring snacks

Oi! That's my gaming group your talking about.

I think my first Games Day I ever went to back in my meek teenage years I was all excited to go to the 40K seminar, because back then Games Days were the place to get all the hottest rumors of what was coming out next. My friend and I even managed to snag 2 of the only 3 empty seats in the front row. And soon in the open third seat, an enormously obese man sat down next to us. He was literally spilling over his chair and onto me, and there was nothing I could do about it. There was no where to run, no where to hide.

We tried engaging in polite conversation. We asked him his name. He responded with, "I play Khorne. What do you guys play?" When we answered our respective armies he dismissed us with a PSHAW and announced, "Khorne can kick their asses."

It was then that I began to notice the um, aroma. The lingering, eye-burning aroma of a man with a high-fat diet in the middle of summer who clearly thinks bathing is optional. I begged my friend to swap places with me but he was having none of it.

To be honest, the presentation went by in a blur. I remember remember periodic shouts of "Blood for the Blood God!" from my neighbor and his quivering laughter that even shook my chair when the obligatory question about squats came up. The only thing I really remember is being nauseated by the end and desperately rushing out to get some air, and not really being able to eat anything for the next several hours.

It would have been funny at the time if I was a about 3 seats over.

Having relayed this story to another friend, to this day we both use the words, "I play Khorne!" as code for complete human failure.

obese people are okay when they understand themselves and stay in a good distance,but those people who feel proud and sexy even tho they are fat(no offence here) are kinda annoying when they come too near

Doggles wrote:This guy gets my vote: http://www.belloflostsouls.net/2010/01/wfb-videomy-dark-elf-army-is-greatest.html

"Boom" - heh heh

that was awesome!

I cant belive you guys havnt even mentioned LARP yet !!! lol
omg ! some of the funniest and scariest people you will ever see !! back me up here meangreenstomper !
the best being a mentaly chalenged dwarf with drink problems who went through bottles of meths and we ended up stuck on a mini bus with him for 12hrs.
or the "barbarian" who had glasses and just looked like a younger fatter mrs doubtfire ! who stoped a whole "battle" as he had cow poo on his sandle ...

CURNOW wrote:I cant belive you guys havnt even mentioned LARP yet !!! lol
omg ! some of the funniest and scariest people you will ever see !! back me up here meangreenstomper !
the best being a mentaly chalenged dwarf with drink problems who went through bottles of meths and we ended up stuck on a mini bus with him for 12hrs.
or the "barbarian" who had glasses and just looked like a younger fatter mrs doubtfire ! who stoped a whole "battle" as he had cow poo on his sandle ...

Goodbye Dakka community! I am going to go consume large amounts of aspirin and fall asleep, this post has made me give up on humanity.

I'll go out on a limb here...I used to play live role playing, I guess its like a lamer version of larping, with foam swords and spells that you have to speak outloud, etc...

Anyway, I was a wood elf, with a full military outfit for my 'costume' anyway, we used to play at large camping grounds way out west with the unfortunate side effect of having to deal with actual campers wondering what the hell grown men where doing running around with toy swords smaking each other.

It was nighttime, or almost nighttime and I saw two people skulking along in the near dark, I took the biggest run of my life, jumped up onto a nearby log and came down between them lashing out with my 'sword' and screaming my catchline, 'By the power of Greyskull!' at the top of my lungs, only to realise seconds later that it was two chicks from a nearby christian jamboree, or whatever they call em. After the screaming subsided, I apologised profusely and slunk of into the darkness thoroughly chastised.

I guess that makes me a pretty funny gamer!

But damn if I didnt smack them good, best attack of my life!


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Oh yeah, then we all got slayed by a much more powerful rival group about an hour later, and one of other mates cut his hand when he took a swing at a garbage can in the darkness!

@ metallifan: lol

@ kanelom: that sounds weird, disturbing and funny, but it worked.

Jihadnik wrote:I'll go out on a limb here...I used to play live role playing, I guess its like a lamer version of larping, with foam swords and spells that you have to speak outloud, etc...

Anyway, I was a wood elf, with a full military outfit for my 'costume' anyway, we used to play at large camping grounds way out west with the unfortunate side effect of having to deal with actual campers wondering what the hell grown men where doing running around with toy swords smaking each other.

It was nighttime, or almost nighttime and I saw two people skulking along in the near dark, I took the biggest run of my life, jumped up onto a nearby log and came down between them lashing out with my 'sword' and screaming my catchline, 'By the power of Greyskull!' at the top of my lungs, only to realise seconds later that it was two chicks from a nearby christian jamboree, or whatever they call em. After the screaming subsided, I apologised profusely and slunk of into the darkness thoroughly chastised.

I guess that makes me a pretty funny gamer!

But damn if I didnt smack them good, best attack of my life!


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Oh yeah, then we all got slayed by a much more powerful rival group about an hour later, and one of other mates cut his hand when he took a swing at a garbage can in the darkness!

niiiiiice! That would have been hilarious to watch.
BTW, how is there ever any winner? How does one decide most powerful spell etc? Because i have this mental image of ully grown men devolving into saying stuff like "PETRIFY TIMES INFINITY! YES I WIN"

hahaha...I why did I start this thread?To laugh to death?

Hehe, yeah, it was pretty much like that!