Ah, if i can interupt you two, i have some critique for this story.
Overall, it's good. I like it. However, there are some major problems in the story, primarily having to do with the ship and the interactions with it by the
SMs.
First off, i think almost any Tau ship would have a hanger bay for gunships and landers and the like, which the
SMs could enter through. However, this isnt particularly important as they decided to blow their way into the ship. This though segues into the next problem: They blew a hole in the ship, and there was no decompression. This might not make a difference for the
SMs as they have helmets, but most of the Tau would have been sucked out of the hole.
Next, the Multi-melta would have most certainly have melted the blast door, instead of simply blackening the paint. I think the last part is that the
SMs could not have landed a Thunderhawk in the bridge of any ship. Perhaps it could have held in place while the
SMs got out, but it's far to big to land.
Combat now. While in general, it was fine, but at times it seemed a little jerky. For example, in the bridge, after most of the Crisis Suits were killed by the rocket, what happened to the Ethereal? I didnt see anything about him. Which leads me to another issue. Any force that is boarding a ship will not be using rocket lanchers. Simply too much danger to their own men.\
I wouldnt change it here, as the RLs make up a big part of the combat and i wouldnt wanna go back and change the combat around for that, but simply as a note for the future: the corridors are far too cramped on a ship for using rocket launchers.
Finally, I come to more lore related issues. Firstly, there are no female
SMs. This is a common misconception, so dont feel bad about it. While you dont explicitly say that the girl(my apologies, i forget her name) is a
SM, you dont say she isnt. Specifying that she is a sister of battle, or even an Inquisitor, would clarify things.
Nextly, i need to ask what an Ethereal is doing on one random Tau ship in the Unnamedius System(my word for unspecified systems in
40k stories). Ethereals are the most revered beings in the Tau Empire and any Ethereal would have at the very least a small battlefleet accompanying him. Again, just something to think about in the future.
Two more general issues, which can really make or break stories.
First, you need to be more descriptive. I know that a lot of readers prefer authors who make it clear what is going on in the story and give fairly detailed descriptions of the places and characters. It helps to make the story more intersting and imaginable. This one though, i can forgive since English isnt your first language. I dont know, perhaps your stories are very descriptive in Dutch and the only reason they arnt in English is a limited vocabulary, i can't know.
Lastly, an easy oversight but again important for writing. When you write, make sure you start a new line when you have a new speaker in dialogue and new paragraphs. I hate it and i know others hate it when an otherwise good story is difficult to read because the author didnt start new lines. The story simply becomes a wall of words that is very unenjoyable to read. Even if you dont listen to anything else i've said, please try to follow these last two things, they are so important to a good story.
Ok, i've said my peice
. Remember these are all suggestiions, you dont have to follow them if you dont want to. I'd be happy to make a more detailed critique later if you want later, but this is the important stuff.
let it die.
