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No shame, here. But I don't talk about it, either, unless I know the other person is involved or could comprehend.

The difference? It isn't due to a weakness but out of strength. I don't need to validate or justify my free time. The reality is that people only care to hear stuff that reinforces their own life choices, or can be used to feed the rumor mill (at work, anyway). So it is much better, easier, and career-safe to discuss pets, gardening, and TV. I discussed video gaming with an IT guy recently. I have discussed that I love to paint, or had a "game night". That usually ends the conversation because most people really don't care. Going any further into detail would just upset the little worlds that the people dwell within. Or, simply leads to uncomfortable monopolization of conversation.

If anyone showed actual interest, yes, sure I would discuss it, and have. I used to work in a place where several played, so that was really cool. I have found that when they occur, further questions usually are: what do you paint, and from another painter, what kind of paint, etc. Then I mention miniatures, describing them as the little pewter sculptures like at gift stores, etc. I've never had the conversation go any deeper than that unless the other person had any idea of tabletop mini gaming.

Again, this is not out of "shame". There is no shame in being wise to the lack of interest of others. Prattling on about something that the other person has zero interest or ability to relate is really rude. It is also can very much feed the "geek/nerd" lack of social skills stereotype...

As someone now in his mid 50's who has been a wargamer for over 45 of those years - airfix figures and well thumbed copy of wargames by Donald Featherstone, I can honestly say I am not ashamed at all.

Wargaming fostered my enduring love of history and reading and so what if I like to play with my "toys". I can think of other things that others do that are far more embarrassing - watch TV soaps?

What you have to ensure though is an understanding wife, especially when you get paint, flock, glue or whatever on the dining room table.

NoArmorSave wrote:

Delephont wrote:Ok, so there will always be those people who stand tall against society and hail from the roof tops the things they love to do most in their spare time......

However, I would hasten to admit, I'm not one of them. Call me a coward if you will, however, it's plain to see that anything involving grown men and "action figures" be they metal/plastic/resin miniatures right up to full blown 1/6th scale action figures does equal social slow for many of the denizens of this world. I draw your attention to 40yr old virgin for proof on how society in general views us.

The question is, why do some of us feel this way? Why do we deny what we obviously enjoy doing? Is it because deep down inside we realise on some level that we are doing is "wrong"......oh I'm not talking kiddy fiddler "wrong", but maybe "sitting in your basement watching porn" wrong?

Do most of you guys find it easier to deny your hobby or do you think you might actually feel better letting people know this facet of your life?

Dude - you have the wrong attitude. It really is amazing just how cool Warhammer 40,000 is. I mean, it is freaking awesome. You should never be ashamed of playing one of the most awesome,
engaging hobbies out there.

Not everyone that plays it is what you would call a "geek". I am a cool, normal person that plays it. Let's see:

1 - I drive a Mercedes
2 - I wear Oakley sunglasses and clothing
3 - I hold 3 different blackbelts in martial arts, and used to compete in MMA events
4 - I used to Wakeboard a lot
5 - I used to play professional level Paintball
6 - I own an Old English Bulldog
7 - I used to be a bartender, with a large clientele
8 - I have no problem with the opposite sex
9 - I believe I can get anyone excited about battling it out on the tables of the 41st millenium.

Am I still an anti-social geek?

I'm a geek in transition. Having dealt with a lot of gak in high school because I was a nerd/geek or whatever has definitely affected how I look at myself and my hobby. I'm finding as I get older (30 now), I just don't give a crap. This is my hobby, this makes me excited, this is something I love doing and when I can't sleep because I'm thinking of an army list, yeah it's nerdy as hell, but guess what so am I.

Yes the hobby is expensive, so is golf, paintball, hockey and just about any other "cool" hobby. The only difference, you won't blow your knees out playing with models, you just might get high from the glue... And if someone gives you crap about it because you're a nerd, the only thing I do is consider who's saying it to you. They're probably way more insecure about themselves if they have to make fun of others, they're a smaller person that you are. If they're making fun of you, the first thing I ask is what's wrong with your life that makes you need to focus on mine?

I realize that it's hard to just embrace your nerdish tendencies, and I know how crappy other people can make you feel. To that I say, it gets easier as you get older, but don't be embarrassed. Nerdy guys can still drive a mercedes, own brand name clothes and own wicked dogs, or in my case TWO BATTLECATS! If someone doesn't like my hobby, then they're probably not worth the mental energy that they're occupying.

Tronzor

The only reason that anyone would be ashamed is by their paintjob, modeling skills, or by the price of the models even though it's a one time payment.

The underlying reason for any other shame or whatnot is because the game isn't the perceived norm. Playing a console wasn't either for a long time, now everyone and their grandparents deal with the damn things.

Instead of trying to hide the fact that you wargame, find points in conversation to slip it in, such as when someone asked how your weekend was or something, just say what you did, and make sure to state that it wasn't a video game.

I've shown and talked to many different types of people, both young and old , regarding the hobby. So long as you aren't an ass about it, and keep the conversation short unless they ask questions, you will get their interest and even apply a little mystery to the hobby. I've had people say they went and looked it up online after I've talked to them, and that it seems really complex or somesuch response.

I was tepid about telling anyone that I'm in the hobby, to begin with, namely as my missus thought I was weird for it, and my folks thought me a fool for getting back in to it based on how it took over my life a number of years ago. They way I saw it was, these 3 people are supposed to love me no matter what, if this is the stance that they're taking, wtf is everyone else gonna think?!

So I took to tidying away my models everytime someone came over, until we had surprise visit from friends who soon saw what I was on with, and actually seem interested in what I was doing!!!

Then I told another friend whilst down at the pub, and he seemed interested too, so I'm slowly coming round to the fact that not everyone will think the same as some of the crazy people I know I won't turn round and say, "Hey, I'm Si, I play Warhammer, what do you do", but if it came up in conversation I wouldn't avoid it

I'm kind of with Gymnogyps on this one.

Maybe I'm a coward too, but there is usually an order in which you introduce information about yourself to folks. You lead with the things that will most ingratiate you to the people you meet. You offer up information that is general and offers points of contact rather than points of separation.

In general, you don't meet a stranger and say.

Hi I'm ______ I belong to (insert political party) and I'm a (insert religion/denomination) and I like to (insert the most obscure thing you do, probably gaming).

That's a great way to throw up barriers between people. You let the more divisive and obscure things about you out in doses as you build up trust and get to know someone. Thus, I'm far more likely to first let folks know about my bass playing, rock climbing, or even LEGO obsession before political affiliation, religion and gaming, because the former things build bridges between most folks.

Now, I'm not saying you should hide it forever. All my friends know of my wargaming, but it's not a frequent topic of conversation.

I wouldn't say most people are. Maybe most arn't very loud about it, but ashamed describes a low group of people.

I am not running around telling people, but if we have a discussion about science fiction (Which happens a lot in my school activities) then I talk about it. My parents, however, hate it, and are convinced that I am using it to cover drug use or something.

If my sister spends 30 minutes on a drawing, my parents love it. If I spend an hour on painting, they call it a waste of time.

I'm a 24 year old man who still watches wrestling, my bedroom looks like a Denver Bronco gift shop, I wear t-shirts that have cartoons from the 80s and 90s, I have more shoes and clothes than your stereotypical girl and I can't drive a car.

If I'm not ashamed about this then I shouldn't be ashamed of playing with toy soldiers.


Though I can say I am a bit embarrassed with the amount of money I spent on my interests.

As a guy that has tattoos, a motorbike in my room, hunting rifles in my closet, and is a journeyman welder, my lady friend of over 5 years had a good chuckle at me when she came over while me and my cousin were playing a game on the kitchen table. Her image of me as a manly man came crashing down when she found me playing with toy aliens killing my cousin's toy soldiers.

Other than that, any girlfriends that have seen or heard of the models have been disinterested and I can't say I blame them. It's like explaining the innards of your computer or the racing cams you put in your car, if she doesn't have any vested interest in the topic you can only expect nods and uh-huhs. One painted really well so we'd have discussions about that and I was able to contribute with what I knew of colour theory and brush control but that's as far as it's ever gone.

However, a friend that games and I were talking about him joining his local gaming club. We both decided that he might want to go in disguise because his favorite bar is across the street and the guys in that club are especially sterotypical game nerds. He loves the game, he just doesn't need the association of unwashed heathen that plays with spacemen preceeding him into the dating scene.

Also, I explain the game to people who ask about it as nerd-chess. About sums it up.

again, I'd have to say that I wouldnt openly shout about my hobby in peoples face but if asked about it I'm more than happy to talk about it

the best thing to remember about this sort of thing is that anyone who cares doesn't matter and anyone who matters doesn't care

I have friends who poke fun at me for playing it, but when they see the models they are in a state of WOW! I am always trying to bring more people into the hobby so I bring it up! I could care less what people think! I am a plumber/ pipe fitter and to make it in my field you need thick skin.

I remember recently I was at a house party and happened to be chatting to a friend from back in my school days, I was telling her I had gotten into Warhammer and how much I was loving it. She didn't mind at all, however another girl overheard us and immediately started taking the mick out of me for liking it. For a long time I was ashamed of the things I liked (I'm also an avid video game collector) but as I've got older, moved out and in with my partner I've become really proud of the person I am and the things I like. The fact that anyone would make fun or view a certain hobby as a dealbreaker to quote Liz Lemon is ridiculous and one I can't stand. If anyone tries to make fun of me for liking what I like then that's their problem, at the end of the day, I'm doing something I enjoy and that makes me happy. Oh and I straight up told that girl where to shove it, she quickly got the message. Just be who you are and be proud of your interests and hobbies, they're what make you who you are and if anyone takes issue with that then they aren't worth a second of your time.

well I don't mention the game with people but when they ask and sees one of my models I will tell them about it.

I am in uni, can't find the time to play with them but I still like them.

All my friends know I play the game and the girls know and the "blonde/slut" type of girl who should laugh at me is one of my good friend.

She also know the game because her cousin plays it lol

I find if i tell them I am painting them the girls are actully somewhat interested if your good at painting that is.

But when you talk about playing it they think your a nerd.

But if you tell them its just a hobby like anyother hobby they will soon find it ok. they are not gonna make fun of it but neither find it fun or interesting.

I'm a huge geek.

I read comics, I collect toys, play/collect retro 8-16 bit games, love science fiction and loves his little green fungus savage barbarians.

I wear my geekdom on my sleeve and never once have I had a problem with it and if somebody did have a problem with it then it's THEIR problem.

Most people think my little toy soldiers are pretty cool. "OMG you can pain something that small????"

Seriously screw what everybody thinks. Do what YOU enjoy and ignore everybody else!

Out and proud. About Magic, 40k, video games, Belegarth, whatever. I've found that people take nerdery really, really personally, and act defensive about it as if you doing something they don't understand is a personal injury to them.

From any perspective, anything is silly. You know there are these events that millions of people watch where grown men chase a tiny ball around a field for hours? They're called sports.

I used to feel the same. I never admitted that I played warhammer, nor that I played WoW or magic cards or anything nerdy really. It is only recently that I have started to become comfortable with people knowing what I do in my spare time. To be honest I think I enjoy it more now that I am open about it.

I find that if you are embarrassed by it most people will probably think of you as a nerd or geek or whatever but if you are open about it and not ashamed people act as if its normal...ish. Im only 21 years old however so I guess I might not be in the same boat as some other people here.

I used to only tell my friends..but even they took the piss and found it childish.

But slowly I came to not give a f*ck and I will openly talk about it in front of anyone, anytime.

I also like start trek, start wars, D&D etc etc.

If people have a problem with it, it's their problem, not mine

Mad4Minis wrote:

NoArmorSave wrote:
Not everyone that plays it is what you would call a "geek". I am a cool, normal person that plays it. Let's see:

1 - I drive a Mercedes
2 - I wear Oakley sunglasses and clothing
3 - I hold 3 different blackbelts in martial arts, and used to compete in MMA events
4 - I used to Wakeboard a lot
5 - I used to play professional level Paintball
6 - I own an Old English Bulldog
7 - I used to be a bartender, with a large clientele
8 - I have no problem with the opposite sex
9 - I believe I can get anyone excited about battling it out on the tables of the 41st millenium.

So is everyone else on the internet...

I concur

Delephont wrote:Ok, so there will always be those people who stand tall against society and hail from the roof tops the things they love to do most in their spare time......

However, I would hasten to admit, I'm not one of them. Call me a coward if you will, however, it's plain to see that anything involving grown men and "action figures" be they metal/plastic/resin miniatures right up to full blown 1/6th scale action figures does equal social slow for many of the denizens of this world. I draw your attention to 40yr old virgin for proof on how society in general views us.

The question is, why do some of us feel this way? Why do we deny what we obviously enjoy doing? Is it because deep down inside we realise on some level that we are doing is "wrong"......oh I'm not talking kiddy fiddler "wrong", but maybe "sitting in your basement watching porn" wrong?

Do most of you guys find it easier to deny your hobby or do you think you might actually feel better letting people know this facet of your life?

Because of the people that share the hobby with me.

95 out of 100 gamers give the rest a bad name.

I'm 32. I find it hard to continue painting in the presence of my wife. My Iron Snakes Terminator squad haven't been touched for almost two months now due to this.

I just find it terribly embarassing to work on miniatures for some reason. I never used to feel this way. I'm thinking of giving up the modeling aspect of the hobby entirely and just continue to read the novels and play the video games.

Also any embarrassment from gaming is the least of my troubles. I had to explain to a guy from London Transport last week why it took me nearly 2 hours to travel a 20 minute distance on the underground... because I was stopping to photograph the stations and trains along the way.

At high school I wouldn't go out of my way to talk about it, but once your in the wide outside world (those times you step outside and jump from shadow to shadow), most people really don't give a rat's ass.

When I was working in the construction industry as an administrator, I would go to game after work and not living close to work would take my case with me. After a couple of times, someone asked me about it and I showed them. He was interested and like pretty much everyone who has known about it since I was about 16, accepted that it's my hobby and I do it.

Some of my relatives, most elderly and my parents to a lesser extent, have no idea why i do it, or in fact what it is; but they accepted it. My gran, however loves it. I spend my time painting and she will look at them and comment on how it looks good and what I've missed (some how an 80 year old woman with about 7 different pairs of glasses for different things and light conditions can spot something a painting judge would miss, is astounding).

It helps that alot of my friends now either play warhammer, or so similar things. But those who don't, just see it remark how it looks kinda cool, but thats where it stays. There are always models somewhere, either being built, or put into cases or being painted.

I'm not gonna take out a advertisment to show that I do it, but if someone asks then I will explain it and if possible show them some stuff.

My ex-girlfriend didn't mind it. I gave her a Bilbo Baggins painted up rather nicely for her birthday (he was her favourite character) and she still has it on her bedside table.

Sorry for the text dump.

due to the amount of workspace I have at home. I work sometimes out of the house.......basically on the building aspect.......painting is always done at home..........there is a Truckstop diner down the road from me..........I go down there and work.........I dont care what people think........oddly I have had a lot of interest in what I do......this is in the south and mostly older people and truck drivers

I'm not?

Not so much proud or ashamed of my hobby per say, but the hobby is part of who I am, and I am proud of who I am.

C.S. Lewis wrote:Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.
- C.S. Lewis

Basically, if you're "ashamed" of your hobby, at least for OP's reasons, grow up.

I do not advertise my hobbying... not because I am ashamed per se, but more for the same reason I don't discuss Halo with my Grandmother. Know your audience. Not everyone will be interested in hearing about it, and you generally should know who would be and who wouldn't be... In general, with most people I know it wouldn't be their cup of tea.

That being said, if it comes up, and if they express interest in hearing more I will explain a bit more so long as they keep asking questions and maintain their end of the conversation.

I find the only thing that is obnoxious about people with our... sci-fi/fantasy leanings... is when they try to ram it down the throat of anyone they come across without consideration of whether the other person is interested in the slightest. But honestly that applies to anything. I don't care if collecting ankle bracelets is your passion, I don't give a gak and we need to talk about something else lol!

On a side note though, it is annoying and yes even a bit embarassing that most people see a miniature and automatically assume you spend your free time pretending to be an elf in the basement while wearing a cape... first I have to explain it is more like chess, there is no role-play, then I have to explain I only paint the damn things lol!

Im not ashamed but I dont talk about it much because from my experience, 90% of people in this hobby are not the kind of people I like to hang out with.

NoArmorSave wrote:
Not everyone that plays it is what you would call a "geek". I am a cool, normal person that plays it. Let's see:
1 - I drive a Mercedes
2 - I wear Oakley sunglasses and clothing
3 - I hold 3 different blackbelts in martial arts, and used to compete in MMA events
4 - I used to Wakeboard a lot
5 - I used to play professional level Paintball
6 - I own an Old English Bulldog
7 - I used to be a bartender, with a large clientele
8 - I have no problem with the opposite sex
9 - I believe I can get anyone excited about battling it out on the tables of the 41st millenium.

Sorry but none of those things makes a person "cool", especially the first two.
An easy way to tell if someone is NOT "cool" is because they like to tell people how cool they think they are.

I'll actually bring it up in conversations sometimes. Who cares what other people think. The last conversation I had about it was something like this.

"You play with those things"

"Ya, I build and paint them, than I go to the store and play them"

"O.o .............. Wanna play Xbox"

"Sure"

VanHammer wrote:
Sorry but none of those things makes a person "cool", especially the first two.
An easy way to tell if someone is NOT "cool" is because they like to tell people how cool they think they are.

LOL wow, totally agree.. NoArmorSave are you really that shallow?

Nope

Still don't really understand why some people are.