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Lint wrote:
Thou shalt only reciprocate fellatio during the end of the world.

fix'ed.

Nom

nomsheep wrote:

Lint wrote:
Thou shalt reciprocate fellatio provided you haven't fallen asleep already.

Here I fixed it myself...

The problem is reciprocating with a fellatrix. You can only be the cunnilingor in that case, which .... sounds like a BA special character.

If you have grandkids, you're not allowed to wear shorts with words across your ass...

NO MANKINIS evar!!!

NOm

reds8n wrote:
And thou shalt always, thou shalt always, kill.

You so Scroobius.


Anyway, nice thread, I approve heartily. Have a Brimley.

1. Do what you want.

2. Fight to win.

3. Ask her out.

4. Have fun.

5. Never think that you're unique.

6. Sin, often.

7. Kill them, if you have to.

8. Learn.

9. Never let them see you bleed.

10. Remember, its just a game.

Reds8n and filbert's posts both made me laugh my arse off.

Also thumbs up to Lint for the Monty Python quote

There's nothing really that I can add, pretty much all my commandments have been taken... I shall remain watching with interest to see what else comes in...

One commandment.

Thou shalt do as one pleases, be it murder, theft or other more debased crimes. However, always remember that others have the same right.

I think pure anarchy is worth a try. I am not a vocal anarchist i just believe people should be allowed to do whatever they want. You have to have a screw loose to do horrible things, the majority of people are reasonably decent.

I like to think the nasties would quickly wipe themselves out and all that would be left would be a race of repressed decent folk, a bit like the mormons.

Manchu wrote:I'm a Catholic. We eat our God. Also, never read Mr. Pratchett.

Pretty sure you just made my day Manchu. You should consider sigging that first part, before somebody else steals it on you. I give you one hour before I become a thief.

1-10 are all the same

treat all others the way you would treat yourself

IE, do unto others as you would like done unto yourselves

Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. So mote it be.

reds8n wrote:
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, John Hartmond, Desmond Dekker, Jim Morrisson, Jimmy Hendrix or Sid Barrett in vain.

This absolutly made my day, Thank you!

Palindrome wrote:

Medium of Death wrote:The commandments were handed down by God.

Were they?

I thought big foot carved them onto a log and then rode with them on the Loch Ness Monster to deliver them to the cave men?

1) Don't be a douche
2-10) Undefined

Heck i have to give this a go

1) Thou shall drink beer and damn well like it
2) Thou shall blow the crap out of thy neighbours hybrid car/ van/ thing
3)Thou shall not declare "dubstep" as actual music, the hammer i use at work to bash tin makes the same sounds.
4)Thou shall not be arrested for going "upside some fools head" to self righteous vegans, vegetarians, hippies, or any other such annoyance
5)The day of reckoning shall be an all out brawl Mad Max Style, then the survivors get to go to a righteous BBQ
6)Thou shall not impose thine dumb arse views on others (im looking at you people that push political correctness)
7)The westborough baptist church is free game for a shooting range, as is FOX news
8)Video game companies shall not get away with making such shoddy work
9)Wars/ famine/ natural disasters shall be henceforth known as "Population control"
10)Thou shall not perform animal cruelty, hunting for food is still good, also the phrase "its coming right for us" is acceptable if you have to protect yourself from wild animals

thought of a few more

11) Thou shall not "whip your hair back n' forth" unless your fool heads on fire
12) Thou shall not use Tool, Iron Maiden, Metallica, Guns & Roses or any such great bands name in vain
13)Bring back old western duels
14) Plaid clothing is still good
15)Smack thine damn ignorant bratty kids up the side of the head and then teach them some damn discipline
16)If you got struck by lightening that means i hate you
17) If you somehow survive said aforementioned lightening striking then you better stop cheating on thine significant other
18) Feminists hurt their cause and always have, people shall be forced to realize this
19)Hotdogs are the particle board of meat
20) If you take the last beer in thine buddies/ fathers/ families fridge then replace it with a new case out of common kindness

1. Thou shalt have no invisible friends of any kind - especially invisible sky fairy friends.
2. Thou shalt not build specific structures for worship. I am everywhere and can hear thee wherever thou art (I am not selectively deaf like thy father-in-law)
3. Thou shalt not bear false witness - unless the truth causeth more harm than good.
4. Honour thy mother and father - but when you move away from home, live your own fething life.
5. Thou shalt not wear plaid. Or tartan. Ever.
6. Furries are an abomination unto me. Thou shalt kill them with fire.
7. Thou shalt not covet they neighbour's ass. Or her chest puppies. Or other girly bits.
8. Thou shalt think for thyself and not just follow blindly like a sheep.

Lint wrote:
Thou shalt always reciprocate fellatio.

Forget any commandments, its just bloody rude if you don't!

My 10:

1) Thou shalt have no other gods before me. "Before" means primary. You are certainly free to worship other gods, just make sure I'm number 1!

2) Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain. Feel free to use other swears. And, feel free to use my son's name in vain. In fact, every other word is totally fine. It's just my name that I have a thing about. You know what... I'm just not going to tell you my name. Feel free to say anything.

3) Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. The sabbath day is really any day you find holy. It can be once a week, it can be once a year, or it can be once a lifetime. Whatever you want is cool with me.

4) Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. As long as they're good people, of course. If you've got a parent that abandoned you, or is a drug addict or something, no need to honour them. And, your teenage years don't count. I pump you full of so many hormones you aren't really responsible for how you treat your parents during those years.

5) Thou shalt not kill. I know that's really vague, but I thought the absoluteness of that statement sounded memorable. I really am implying that you shouldn't kill humans. Anything non-human is totally fine to kill. Also, you can kill humans if you're defending yourself or others. But, only if that's your only option. If you can diffuse the situation without anyone dying, that's what you have to do. And, I'm defining "human" as beginning when a fetus is capable of surviving outside the womb without any medical assistance, and it ends with brain death. An empty shell of a person kept breathing with machines isn't alive, sorry for your loss. Also, I'll go ahead and clarify aliens and artificial intelligence now. If it's sentient, it's human-equivalent and the same rules apply. Sentience is being defined as the ability to comprehend these rules. You'll struggle to figure out if AI can really "comprehend" this, but Dr. Panshanalla will come up with a test in 2068 that I endorse. Of course, the Blarthax don't have wombs, but their gestational pods are equivalent. And, to clarify, "kill" does not imply an active act, you can passively kill someone by not doing something that would save their life. Wow, this is really starting to be a long commandment, who would have thought "Thou shalt not kill" wouldn't be clear enough for a complex society?

6) Thou shalt not commit adultery. Adultery means that you have sexual intercourse with someone other than your spouse, without your spouse's approval. Open marriages, wife swapping, or anything else is totally fine if both parties are agreed. Also, if you're single, feel free, no, feel encouraged, to slut it up.

7) Thou shalt not steal. This means a real, physical object from another person. Taking something imaginary is bad, but it's not commandment worthy. But, if it's a matter of life or death, feel free to steal something, but feel bad about it.

8) Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour. Or anyone else, really, not just your neighbour.

9) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house. Really, look at that thing, it's pretty run down. You don't want that. Oh! Sorry, this was just talking to Tom Beckelford. The rest of you, yeah, you should totally covet thy neighbour's house, it's really nice and they've got nice things. Work hard and you'll make enough money to buy that some day.

10) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's. Yes, for those of you wondering, I ran out of ideas for commandments and wanted 10, so I split the last one in half. I really could have said everything in just "Thou shalt not covet anything of thy neighbour's". But, then we'd only have 9 commandments and not 10. Also, this again only applies to Tom Beckelford. I'm not sure what this guy's problem is. His neighbour has nothing of worth, yet Tom really wants it all. The rest of you, work hard so you can get all those cool things your neighbour has. Also, feel free to bang his wife. He should really pay more attention to her.

Rebel
Help the poor
don't kill unless another life depends on it.
share things and play nice
don't be a bitch
football and celebrities are not a religion
donate blood if able
leave the gays alone. Solve war, poverty and corruption first. then leave the gays alone.

1. Don't kill someone unless its in self defense and if you don't kill them they'll kill you.
2. Don't steal unnecessarily from people.
3. Don't be a douche.
4. "Arrow to the Knee" stopped being funny months ago.
5. Don't lie unnecessarily.
6. Help poor people.
7. Be tolerant towards other races, genders and sexual orientations.
8. Don't commit adultery.
9. Plaid is bad.
10. I AM GOD BITCHES

Be Excellent to Each Other

feeder wrote:Be Excellent to Each Other

I read that in their voices. I hadn't even heard of that movie until a few months ago. I laughed my ass off the entire time it was on.

On to my commandments:

1. Thou shall be an equal-opportunity person. No discrimination based on any factor, much like a place of employment here in the U.S.
2. Thou shall not kill, unless in defense of one's person, home, or family.
3. Thou shall not be a dick.
4. Prison systems shall not baby their inmates. They shall do hard labor from sunrise to sunset, and grow as much of their own food as possible.
5. Thou shall not be a dick.
7. There is no number six.

1. There is no objective morality
2. Don't be a dick
3. No fat chicks
4. Never turn the other cheek
5. Everyone gets equal rights
6. Don't whine
7. Learn
8. Science
9. Russell's Teapot
10. Health care is a universal right

feeder wrote:Be Excellent to Each Other

That would be my single commandment as well. Really, what more do you need other than to be good to all those around you, and for them to be good to you?

I think reds8n summed it up pretty damn well, there is now a small chance he is either God or related

He even remembered to ban Hollyoaks, good man!

I would only have two.

1. Thou shall not let moucher into thy hut
2. Thou shall follow all communist beliefs. Not the Soviet, Cuban or Koren crap, but the real stuff. Because Capitalism is full of poop!

That is all. ;D

The hell do you people have against plaid clothing!?

Thou shalt do everything in their power to be happy and everything to prevent their happiness from ruining anothers.
Also, no touching kids.

Pedobear is dissapoint.



Nom

bad pedobear BAD!