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2012/04/13 14:59:24
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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Napoleonics Obsesser
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Let's say... theoretically... By some odd coincidence (or divine intervention), you become the prophet if a new religion or way of thinking. Thousands of people claim you as a herald, and they demand a set of rules to guide them down the path of devout worship.
If you could outline your new religion/ belief in 10 statements or Laws, what would they be?
It doesn't have to be 10 either. It could be however many you like, although 10 is an easy number 
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If only ZUN!bar were here... |
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2012/04/13 15:02:03
Subject: Re:Your 10 Commandments
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Insect-Infested Nurgle Chaos Lord
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The commandments were handed down by God.
You wouldn't have control over the Commandments...
Also, this will not end well.
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2012/04/13 15:03:55
Subject: Re:Your 10 Commandments
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Rampaging Reaver Titan Princeps
On your roof with a laptop
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1: - Give me all your money.
2: - Come at me bro
3: - I cannot think of any more :(
4: - oh wait, i can!
5: - Ah, forgot the capital letter!
6: - There it is!
7: - What was I on about again?
8: - Oh yeh, the commandments!
9: - Umm?
10: - Carry on..
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This is a signature. It contains words of an important or meaningful nature. |
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2012/04/13 15:04:08
Subject: Re:Your 10 Commandments
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[DCM]
Et In Arcadia Ego
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easy.
Thou shalt not steal if there is a direct victim
Thou shalt not worship pop idols
Or follow lost prophets
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, John Hartmond, Desmond Dekker, Jim Morrisson, Jimmy Hendrix or Sid Barrett in vain.
Thou shalt not think any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a peadophile, some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they became popular
Thou shalt not question Steven Fry
Thou shalt not judge a book by its cover
Thou shalt not judge lethal weapon by Danny Glover
Thou shalt not buy Coca Cola products
Thou shalt not Nestle products
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriends best friend, take drugs, and then cheat on him
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls pants...
...use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyoaks
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you've done your gakky little poem or song, you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar, week in, week out Because you once saw a girl there that you fancied; that you're never gonna fething talk to.
Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals.
No matter how great they are, or were.
The Beatles were just a band.
Led Zeppelin , just a band.
The Beach Boys , just a band..
The Sex Pistols , just a band.
The Clash , just a band.
Crass , just a band.
Minor Threat , just a band.
The Cure , just a band.
The Smiths , just a band.
Nirvana , just a band.
The Pixies, just a band.
Oasis , just a band.
Radiohead , just a band.
Bloc Party , just a band.
The Arctic Monkeys, just a band.
"The next big thing", just a band.
Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-english speaking countries as to those that occur in english speaking countries
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the 4 elements and never will be.
Thou shalt not make repetitive, generic music
Thou shalt not Pimp My Ride.
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
When i say "Hey", thou shalt not say "Ho"
When i say "Hip", thou shalt not say "Hop"
When i say, he say, she say, we say; "Make some noise.", kill me.
Thou shalt not quote me happy.
Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.
Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak, like me.
Thou shalt spell the word "Pheonix"
P-H-E-O-N-I-X.
Not, P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Brad at a club last night by saying; "Izziiit"
Thou shalt think for yourselves.
And thou shalt always, thou shalt always, kill.
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The poor man really has a stake in the country. The rich man hasn't; he can go away to New Guinea in a yacht. The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all
We love our superheroes because they refuse to give up on us. We can analyze them out of existence, kill them, ban them, mock them, and still they return, patiently reminding us of who we are and what we wish we could be.
"the play's the thing wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king,
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2012/04/13 15:11:47
Subject: Re:Your 10 Commandments
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[SWAP SHOP MOD]
Yvan eht nioj
In my Austin Ambassador Y Reg
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I think one can never go wrong by following The Chap manifesto, personally:
1. THOU SHALT ALWAYS WEAR TWEED. No other fabric says so defiantly: I am a man of panache, savoir-faire and devil-may-care, and I will not be served Continental lager beer under any circumstances.
2 THOU SHALT NEVER NOT SMOKE. Health and Safety "executives" and jobsworth medical practitioners keep trying to convince us that smoking is bad for the lungs/heart/skin/eyebrows, but we all know that smoking a bent apple billiard full of rich Cavendish tobacco raises one's general sense of well-being to levels unimaginable by the aforementioned spoilsports.
3 THOU SHALT ALWAYS BE COURTEOUS TO THE LADIES. A gentleman is never truly seated on an omnibus or railway carriage: he is merely keeping the seat warm for when a lady might need it. Those who take offence at being offered a seat are not really Ladies.
4 THOU SHALT NEVER, EVER, WEAR PANTALOONS DE NIMES. When you have progressed beyond fondling girls in the back seats of cinemas, you can stop wearing jeans. Wear fabrics appropriate to your age, and, who knows, you might even get a quick fumble in your box at the opera.
5 THOU SHALT ALWAYS DOFF ONE'S HAT. Alright, so you own a couple of trilbies. Good for you - but it's hardly going to change the world. Once you start actually lifting them off your head when greeting, departing or simply saluting passers-by, then the revolution will really begin.
6 THOU SHALT NEVER FASTEN THE LOWEST BUTTON ON THY WESKIT. Look, we don't make the rules, we simply try to keep them going. This one dates back to Edward VII, sufficient reason in itself to observe it.
7 THOU SHALT ALWAYS SPEAK PROPERLY. It's quite simple really. Instead of saying "Yo, wassup?", say "How do you do?"
8 THOU SHALT NEVER WEAR PLIMSOLLS WHEN NOT DOING SPORT. Nor even when doing sport. Which you shouldn't be doing anyway. Except cricket.
9 THOU SHALT ALWAYS WORSHIP AT THE TROUSER PRESS. At the end of each day, your trousers should be placed in one of Mr. Corby's magical contraptions, and by the next morning your creases will be so sharp that they will start a riot on the high street.
10 THOU SHALT ALWAYS CULTIVATE INTERESTING FACIAL HAIR. By interesting we mean moustaches, not beards.
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2012/04/13 15:14:45
Subject: Re:Your 10 Commandments
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Oberstleutnant
Back in the English morass
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Medium of Death wrote:The commandments were handed down by God.
Were they? 
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The prefect example of someone missing the point.
Do not underestimate the Squats. They survived for millenia cut off from the Imperium and assailed on all sides. Their determination and resilience is an example to us all.
-Leman Russ, Meditations on Imperial Command book XVI (AKA the RT era White Dwarf Commpendium).
Its just a shame that they couldn't fight off Andy Chambers.
Warzone Plog |
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2012/04/13 15:15:12
Subject: Re:Your 10 Commandments
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Fixture of Dakka
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1) Thou shalt not be a... donkey... to each other. All people are deserving of your respect.
You know, that pretty well covers everything, doesn't it?
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CHAOS! PANIC! DISORDER!
My job here is done. |
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2012/04/13 15:15:45
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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Mekboy on Kustom Deth Kopta
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I wouldn't even need 10.
1) do no harm.
2) all life forms are equal.
2a) clarifying for those who need it, yes women are equal to men.
3) protect the earth, its the only home you have.
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2012/04/13 15:18:36
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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Oberstleutnant
Back in the English morass
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sirlynchmob wrote:I wouldn't even need 10.
2) all life forms are equal.
That would either result in soylent green or everyone suddenly needing mutate so that we can photosynthesise 
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The prefect example of someone missing the point.
Do not underestimate the Squats. They survived for millenia cut off from the Imperium and assailed on all sides. Their determination and resilience is an example to us all.
-Leman Russ, Meditations on Imperial Command book XVI (AKA the RT era White Dwarf Commpendium).
Its just a shame that they couldn't fight off Andy Chambers.
Warzone Plog |
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2012/04/13 15:20:15
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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Joined the Military for Authentic Experience
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1. Always stand your round.
2. Never eat another man's ham sandwich.
3. Don't eat at bistro's, the orange juice is piss.
4. Stop telling people about your life. Nobody cares.
5. Don't give me any of your nonsense, Jimmy.
6. Drink a proper beer, for the love of God.
7. Stop saying "we", when you mean "the football team I was watching."
8. Flush.
9. Keep your little toerags out of my face.
10. Stop thinking about what you're entitled to.
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2012/04/13 15:21:23
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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Mekboy on Kustom Deth Kopta
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Palindrome wrote:sirlynchmob wrote:I wouldn't even need 10.
2) all life forms are equal.
That would either result in soylent green or everyone suddenly needing mutate so that we can photosynthesise
I was more thinking of it to prevent us from hunting species to extinction.
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2012/04/13 15:21:52
Subject: Re:Your 10 Commandments
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Secret Force Behind the Rise of the Tau
USA
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Palindrome wrote:Medium of Death wrote:The commandments were handed down by God.
Were they?
Supposedly.
I'd keep the current list with the addition of "Thou Shalt Wear and Honour Thy Hats."
They work so hard.
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2012/04/13 15:22:46
Subject: Re:Your 10 Commandments
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Huge Hierodule
The centre of a massive brood chamber, heaving and pulsating.
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1: Thou shalt not complain about homosexuality.
2: Thou shalt not rape, molest or force sex or pregnancy upon a woman (or anyone else for that matter).
3: Thou shalt allow thy women to wear as little or as much as they wish, for it is their choice and none of your business.
4: Thou shalt dress as a girl on Sundays, for it is amusing and it makes me snigger.
5: Thou shalt not vote Labour, for they know not what they are doing.
6: All organisms are equal, regardless of gender, race, orientation, or silly accent.
7: Thou shalt work to further science and the understanding of the world.
8: Thou shalt ask God first before doing something supposedly in her name. (For the record I am an atheist.)
9: Thou shalt not kill, unless it is done to end suffering (eauthanasia, etc...)
10: Thou shalt play Warhammer.
11: Thou shalt respect thy children.
12: Thou shalt not cause suffering to any organism.
13: Thou shalt enjoy sex and take no shame in it providing it does not break rule 2 or 12.
14: Thou shalt respect everyone's right to privacy.
15: Thou shalt take no shame in fapping or shlicking.
16: Thou shalt not read the Daily Mail.
17: Thou shalt party on dudes!
18: Thou shalt contact me if you have any suggestions on commandments.
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Squigsquasher, resident ban magnet, White Knight, and general fethwit.
 buddha wrote:I've decided that these GW is dead/dying threads that pop up every-week must be followers and cultists of nurgle perpetuating the need for decay. I therefore declare that that such threads are heresy and subject to exterminatus. So says the Inquisition!
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2012/04/13 15:34:32
Subject: Re:Your 10 Commandments
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Mekboy on Kustom Deth Kopta
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Squigsquasher wrote:1: Thou shalt not complain about homosexuality.
2: Thou shalt not rape, molest or force sex or pregnancy upon a woman (or anyone else for that matter).
3: Thou shalt allow thy women to wear as little or as much as they wish, for it is their choice and none of your business.
4: Thou shalt dress as a girl on Sundays, for it is amusing and it makes me snigger.
5: Thou shalt not vote Labour, for they know not what they are doing.
6: All organisms are equal, regardless of gender, race, orientation, or silly accent.
7: Thou shalt work to further science and the understanding of the world.
8: Thou shalt ask God first before doing something supposedly in her name. (For the record I am an atheist.)
9: Thou shalt not kill, unless it is done to end suffering (eauthanasia, etc...)
10: Thou shalt play Warhammer.
11: Thou shalt respect thy children.
12: Thou shalt not cause suffering to any organism.
13: Thou shalt enjoy sex and take no shame in it providing it does not break rule 2 or 12.
14: Thou shalt respect everyone's right to privacy.
15: Thou shalt take no shame in fapping or shlicking.
16: Thou shalt not read the Daily Mail.
17: Thou shalt party on dudes!
18: Thou shalt contact me if you have any suggestions on commandments.
 This guy is second on my list for who I would follow as a prophet. The Dalai Lama is of course first.
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2012/04/13 15:36:43
Subject: Re:Your 10 Commandments
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Huge Hierodule
The centre of a massive brood chamber, heaving and pulsating.
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Wow, that certainly makes a change from "white knight" and "idiot". Thank you.
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Squigsquasher, resident ban magnet, White Knight, and general fethwit.
buddha wrote:I've decided that these GW is dead/dying threads that pop up every-week must be followers and cultists of nurgle perpetuating the need for decay. I therefore declare that that such threads are heresy and subject to exterminatus. So says the Inquisition!
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2012/04/13 15:46:21
Subject: Re:Your 10 Commandments
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Nigel Stillman
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Squigsquasher wrote:Wow, that certainly makes a change from "white knight" and "idiot". Thank you.
This you dude? Funny how white knighting was the first that came to my mind.
If I was a prophet, there is only 1 rule that I would have.
1. BLAME THE VICTIM
Kind Regards,
Vladsimpaler
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2012/04/13 15:51:57
Subject: Re:Your 10 Commandments
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Fixture of Dakka
On a boat, Trying not to die.
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One: To each his own.
Two: His own might be wrong. If it is, tell him this every day.
Three: I'll slow down when I'm dead.
Four: If a person gets you involved in an argument, you try to win at all costs.
Five: Fake violence might be fun, but the real thing hurts like a bitch.
Six: It's always shorts and Flip Flop weather. Always.
Seven: Be the Trapdoor Spider.
Eight: Whales do not care how big your boat is. They're fething WHALES.
Nine: Carry a knife on you at all times. It might come in handy.
Ten: Know your rights as a citizen. The more you know, the better off you are.
And the one commandment I follow to the letter:
Eleven: Equal Force begets Equal Force.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/04/13 15:52:06
Every Normal Man Must Be Tempted At Times To Spit On His Hands, Hoist That Black Flag, And Begin Slitting Throats. |
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2012/04/13 16:02:33
Subject: Re:Your 10 Commandments
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Huge Hierodule
The centre of a massive brood chamber, heaving and pulsating.
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Who is that guy? Freddy Mercury? It certainly isn't me.
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Squigsquasher, resident ban magnet, White Knight, and general fethwit.
buddha wrote:I've decided that these GW is dead/dying threads that pop up every-week must be followers and cultists of nurgle perpetuating the need for decay. I therefore declare that that such threads are heresy and subject to exterminatus. So says the Inquisition!
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2012/04/13 16:05:25
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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Incorporating Wet-Blending
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1. Thou shalt do what you like and justify it to yourself afterwards, because that's what humans do.
2-9 See commandment 1.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/04/13 16:06:28
Mannahnin wrote:A lot of folks online (and in emails in other parts of life) use pretty mangled English. The idea is that it takes extra effort and time to write properly, and they’d rather save the time. If you can still be understood, what’s the harm? While most of the time a sloppy post CAN be understood, the use of proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling is generally seen as respectable and desirable on most forums. It demonstrates an effort made to be understood, and to make your post an easy and pleasant read. By making this effort, you can often elicit more positive responses from the community, and instantly mark yourself as someone worth talking to.
insaniak wrote: Every time someone threatens violence over the internet as a result of someone's hypothetical actions at the gaming table, the earth shakes infinitisemally in its orbit as millions of eyeballs behind millions of monitors all roll simultaneously.
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2012/04/13 16:18:18
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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Krazed Killa Kan
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Thou shalt not eat anything larger than thou's head
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DR:80S---G+MB---I+Pw40k08#+D+A+/fWD???R+T(M)DM+
My P&M Log: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/433120.page
 Atma01 wrote:
And that is why you hear people yelling FOR THE EMPEROR rather than FOR LOGICAL AND QUANTIFIABLE BASED DECISIONS FOR THE BETTERMENT OF THE MAJORITY!
Phototoxin wrote:Kids go in , they waste tonnes of money on marnus calgar and his landraider, the slaneshi-like GW revel at this lust and short term profit margin pleasure. Meanwhile father time and cunning lord tzeentch whisper 'our games are better AND cheaper' and then players leave for mantic and warmahordes.
daveNYC wrote:The Craftworld guys, who are such stick-in-the-muds that they manage to make the Ultramarines look like an Ibiza nightclub that spiked its Red Bull with LSD.
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2012/04/13 16:28:05
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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Longtime Dakkanaut
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The flesh of the turtle is sacred.
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Unnessesarily extravegant word of the week award goes to jcress410 for this:
jcress wrote:Seem super off topic to complain about epistemology on a thread about tactics.
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2012/04/13 16:37:10
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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Roaring Reaver Rider
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1) THOU shalt not talk about the ten commandments
2) THOU shalt not furry!
3) THOU shalt hate everyone equally.
4) THOU shalt love me for I am perfect in every way
5) THOU shalt happy-slap matt ward every time you see him.
6) THOU shalt participate in the monthly hunt for C.S GOTO
8) THOU shalt not point out any flaw in these commandements
9) THOU shalt not RAW these commandements
10) THOU shalt appreciate the fight club
Nom
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2012/04/13 16:38:57
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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[MOD]
Solahma
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Testify wrote:The flesh of the turtle is sacred.
So we should eat it or ... ? Automatically Appended Next Post: nomsheep wrote:6) THOU shalt participate in the monthly hunt for C.S GOTO
I believe this is an important ritual of the White Scars.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/04/13 16:39:39
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2012/04/13 16:42:15
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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Roaring Reaver Rider
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Manchu wrote:Testify wrote:The flesh of the turtle is sacred.
So we should eat it or ... ?
We should eat it.
nomsheep wrote:6) THOU shalt participate in the monthly hunt for C.S GOTO
I believe this is an important ritual of the White Scars.
Then they are way ahead of the curve.
Nom
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2012/04/13 16:48:10
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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Longtime Dakkanaut
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Manchu wrote:Testify wrote:The flesh of the turtle is sacred.
So we should eat it or ... ?
No. The turtle is sacred.
It's a Terry Pratchett reference 
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Unnessesarily extravegant word of the week award goes to jcress410 for this:
jcress wrote:Seem super off topic to complain about epistemology on a thread about tactics.
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2012/04/13 16:50:51
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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[MOD]
Solahma
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I'm a Catholic. We eat our God. Also, never read Mr. Pratchett.
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2012/04/13 16:56:15
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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Roaring Reaver Rider
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Oh, if it's that turtle then no we don't eat it.
Nom
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2012/04/13 17:00:35
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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Maddening Mutant Boss of Chaos
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Thou shalt always reciprocate fellatio.
Also:
First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin.
Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.
Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three.
Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three.
Five is right out.
Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
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Veteran Sergeant wrote:Oh wait. His fluff, at this point, has him coming to blows with Lionel, Angryon, Magnus, and The Emprah. One can only assume he went into the Eye of Terror because he still hadn't had a chance to punch enough Primarchs yet.
Albatross wrote:I guess we'll never know. That is, until Frazzled releases his long-awaited solo album 'Touch My Weiner'. Then we'll know.
warboss wrote:I marvel at their ability to shoot the entire foot off with a shotgun instead of pistol shooting individual toes off like most businesses would.
Mr Nobody wrote:Going to war naked always seems like a good idea until someone trips on gravel.
Ghidorah wrote: You need to quit hating and trying to control other haters hating on other people's hobbies that they are trying to control.
ShumaGorath wrote:Posting in a thread where fat nerds who play with toys make fun of fat nerds who wear costumes outdoors.
Marshal2Crusaders wrote:Good thing it wasn't attacked by the EC, or it would be the assault on Magnir's Crack.
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2012/04/13 17:11:43
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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[MOD]
Solahma
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Lint wrote:Thou shalt always reciprocate fellatio.
Some of these commandments are impossible.
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2012/04/13 17:15:17
Subject: Your 10 Commandments
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Screaming Banshee
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Thou shalt gain some self-confidence and stop following things blindly like a sheep... go on... put the book down. WHY ARE YOU STILL READING? I'm not real!
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