Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:
No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
Times and dates in your local timezone.
Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.
If you are already a member then feel free to login now.
JbR of the Endless Spire wrote:I'd be a little more concerned about the road laws... I mean whats the Ork equivilant of a set of traffic lights?
Grey Templar wrote:
Makarov wrote:
JbR of the Endless Spire wrote:I'd be a little more concerned about the road laws... I mean whats the Ork equivilant of a set of traffic lights?
The true right of way, if something is bigger and faster it has the right of way.
Hmmm, if four red Battlewagons with Deffrollas come to a four way stop at the same time. Who has right of way?
Obviously the answer is a good ol'e fist fight in the intersection.
You both wrongly assume that an ork would break for anything. If four red battlewagons with deffrollas come to a four way crossing, the biggest wagon leaves the crossing by running over the other three.
7 Ork facts people always get wrong: Ragnar did not win against Thrakka, but suffered two crushing defeats within a few days of each other. A lasgun is powerful enough to sever an ork's appendage or head in a single, well aimed shot. Orks meks have a better understanding of electrics and mechanics than most Tech Priests. Orks actually do not think that purple makes them harder to see. The joke was made canon by Alex Stewart's Caphias Cain books. Gharkull Blackfang did not even come close to killing the emperor. Orks can be corrupted by chaos, but few of them have any interest in what chaos offers. Orks do not have the power of believe.
TheAngrySquig wrote:Would Orks with red shoes go faster? So in marathons would everyone be wearing red?
Yes. The warboss in DoW1 could upgrade his Mega-Armor with Red Bootz in order to double his runspeed.
7 Ork facts people always get wrong: Ragnar did not win against Thrakka, but suffered two crushing defeats within a few days of each other. A lasgun is powerful enough to sever an ork's appendage or head in a single, well aimed shot. Orks meks have a better understanding of electrics and mechanics than most Tech Priests. Orks actually do not think that purple makes them harder to see. The joke was made canon by Alex Stewart's Caphias Cain books. Gharkull Blackfang did not even come close to killing the emperor. Orks can be corrupted by chaos, but few of them have any interest in what chaos offers. Orks do not have the power of believe.
Warboss Patton Sit da 'eck down!
Now I want ya all's ta fink dat no stoopid grot eva' won a fight by gettin' stomped. Dat would be stoopid, dat. He winz a fight by stompin' da uver stoopid grot. Now boyz, all dis stuff about orks not wantin' ta fight, wanting to stay out of da war, is a lotta squig-piss. Traditionally, orks love to stomp. Kuz' orks was made fer fightin' an winning. All proppa orks love da sting of fighting. Whe you were yoofs, you all wanted da biggest gun, be da biggest nob, drive da killiest wagon, swing da deadliest klaw. Orks love ta win, and stuff an' I can't look at losers. If any of you's lose a fight an' chuckle something fierce, I'll chop you up good. Dat's why orks is never beaten in battle. Cuz we don't fink about losing, we fink about killing.
Now, a Waaaagh! iz a team. It kills, stomps, dakkas and choppas as a team (we doesn't go to da toilet as a team, dat would be stoopid). Dis stuff 'bout individuality and heroics iz somefink da walkin' trophies called "space marines" do. Their leader boyz know 'bout as much proppa fightin' as dey does about when da wear a helmet (hur hur)
Now, we's got some uv' da worst food an' some right silly lookin' gear. But we's yell Waaagh louder den' any ork in da sektor, so it's okay. You know I kinda feel sorry for dem humies we's gonna go kill, by gork an mork, I does. We's not gonna dakka da humies, we's gonna choppa out der guts an use dem ta grease da treads of our wagons. We's gonna killa da humies by the barrel-full. Some of you boyz is wonderin' if you's gonna squeal like a snotling under dakka. Don't ya worry. I can say you's all gonna fight proppa. Kuz if you doesn't, da enemy'll have one less ork ta deal wiff an' I'll 'ave one more stain on me boot. Da humies are da enemy. Smash into dem', spill der squishy parts, dakka dem in da gut. When you's put yer hand on a pile uv' squishy stuff dat a moment before was a humie's face, you's gonna know wat to do (you's gonna find anuver humie ta kill).
Now, I want no messenger grots tellin' me da Waaagh is holdin' it's position. Let da humies do dat. Da Waaaagh iz gonna rush forwards like a squiggoth wot missed it's dinner. We's not gonna hold nufing, 'xept da enemy's skullz when we take em for trophies. We's gonna go through them all da time like choppa through a neck. Now, der's one fing you get's to say when we're done 'ere, an you may thank Gork for it (or Mork). Thirty yeers from now, when another bunch of boyz has joined our Waaagh and a young 'un asks ya "how many humies haz you killed?" yoo don't need ta say "None. My job iz ta shovel squig-droppings." All right now you sons of squigs, you know how I feel, I'll be right glad ta lead you killy boyz into fightin' anytime, any planet, any enemy. Dat's all fer now.
JbR of the Endless Spire wrote:I'd be a little more concerned about the road laws... I mean whats the Ork equivilant of a set of traffic lights?
Grey Templar wrote:
Makarov wrote:
JbR of the Endless Spire wrote:I'd be a little more concerned about the road laws... I mean whats the Ork equivilant of a set of traffic lights?
The true right of way, if something is bigger and faster it has the right of way.
Hmmm, if four red Battlewagons with Deffrollas come to a four way stop at the same time. Who has right of way?
Obviously the answer is a good ol'e fist fight in the intersection.
You both wrongly assume that an ork would break for anything. If four red battlewagons with deffrollas come to a four way crossing, the biggest wagon leaves the crossing by running over the other three.
I never said that they would stop. Just that the bigger think would have the right of way. Kinda like this.
Automatically Appended Next Post:
CuddlySquig wrote: Warboss Patton Sit da 'eck down! Now I want ya all's ta fink dat no stoopid grot eva' won a fight by gettin' stomped. Dat would be stoopid, dat. He winz a fight by stompin' da uver stoopid grot. Now boyz, all dis stuff about orks not wantin' ta fight, wanting to stay out of da war, is a lotta squig-piss. Traditionally, orks love to stomp. Kuz' orks was made fer fightin' an winning. All proppa orks love da sting of fighting. Whe you were yoofs, you all wanted da biggest gun, be da biggest nob, drive da killiest wagon, swing da deadliest klaw. Orks love ta win, and stuff an' I can't look at losers. If any of you's lose a fight an' chuckle something fierce, I'll chop you up good. Dat's why orks is never beaten in battle. Cuz we don't fink about losing, we fink about killing. Now, a Waaaagh! iz a team. It kills, stomps, dakkas and choppas as a team (we doesn't go to da toilet as a team, dat would be stoopid). Dis stuff 'bout individuality and heroics iz somefink da walkin' trophies called "space marines" do. Their leader boyz know 'bout as much proppa fightin' as dey does about when da wear a helmet (hur hur) Now, we's got some uv' da worst food an' some right silly lookin' gear. But we's yell Waaagh louder den' any ork in da sektor, so it's okay. You know I kinda feel sorry for dem humies we's gonna go kill, by gork an mork, I does. We's not gonna dakka da humies, we's gonna choppa out der guts an use dem ta grease da treads of our wagons. We's gonna killa da humies by the barrel-full. Some of you boyz is wonderin' if you's gonna squeal like a snotling under dakka. Don't ya worry. I can say you's all gonna fight proppa. Kuz if you doesn't, da enemy'll have one less ork ta deal wiff an' I'll 'ave one more stain on me boot. Da humies are da enemy. Smash into dem', spill der squishy parts, dakka dem in da gut. When you's put yer hand on a pile uv' squishy stuff dat a moment before was a humie's face, you's gonna know wat to do (you's gonna find anuver humie ta kill). Now, I want no messenger grots tellin' me da Waaagh is holdin' it's position. Let da humies do dat. Da Waaaagh iz gonna rush forwards like a squiggoth wot missed it's dinner. We's not gonna hold nufing, 'xept da enemy's skullz when we take em for trophies. We's gonna go through them all da time like choppa through a neck. Now, der's one fing you get's to say when we're done 'ere, an you may thank Gork for it (or Mork). Thirty yeers from now, when another bunch of boyz has joined our Waaagh and a young 'un asks ya "how many humies haz you killed?" yoo don't need ta say "None. My job iz ta shovel squig-droppings." All right now you sons of squigs, you know how I feel, I'll be right glad ta lead you killy boyz into fightin' anytime, any planet, any enemy. Dat's all fer now.
I cannot exalt that enough!
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2012/07/23 21:26:42
CuddlySquig wrote:
Sit da 'eck down!
Now I want ya all's ta fink dat no stoopid grot eva' won a fight by gettin' stomped. Dat would be stoopid, dat. He winz a fight by stompin' da uver stoopid grot. Now boyz, all dis stuff about orks not wantin' ta fight, wanting to stay out of da war, is a lotta squig-piss. Traditionally, orks love to stomp. Kuz' orks was made fer fightin' an winning. All proppa orks love da sting of fighting. Whe you were yoofs, you all wanted da biggest gun, be da biggest nob, drive da killiest wagon, swing da deadliest klaw. Orks love ta win, and stuff an' I can't look at losers. If any of you's lose a fight an' chuckle something fierce, I'll chop you up good. Dat's why orks is never beaten in battle. Cuz we don't fink about losing, we fink about killing.
Now, a Waaaagh! iz a team. It kills, stomps, dakkas and choppas as a team (we doesn't go to da toilet as a team, dat would be stoopid). Dis stuff 'bout individuality and heroics iz somefink da walkin' trophies called "space marines" do. Their leader boyz know 'bout as much proppa fightin' as dey does about when da wear a helmet (hur hur)
Now, we's got some uv' da worst food an' some right silly lookin' gear. But we's yell Waaagh louder den' any ork in da sektor, so it's okay. You know I kinda feel sorry for dem humies we's gonna go kill, by gork an mork, I does. We's not gonna dakka da humies, we's gonna choppa out der guts an use dem ta grease da treads of our wagons. We's gonna killa da humies by the barrel-full. Some of you boyz is wonderin' if you's gonna squeal like a snotling under dakka. Don't ya worry. I can say you's all gonna fight proppa. Kuz if you doesn't, da enemy'll have one less ork ta deal wiff an' I'll 'ave one more stain on me boot. Da humies are da enemy. Smash into dem', spill der squishy parts, dakka dem in da gut. When you's put yer hand on a pile uv' squishy stuff dat a moment before was a humie's face, you's gonna know wat to do (you's gonna find anuver humie ta kill).
Now, I want no messenger grots tellin' me da Waaagh is holdin' it's position. Let da humies do dat. Da Waaaagh iz gonna rush forwards like a squiggoth wot missed it's dinner. We's not gonna hold nufing, 'xept da enemy's skullz when we take em for trophies. We's gonna go through them all da time like choppa through a neck. Now, der's one fing you get's to say when we're done 'ere, an you may thank Gork for it (or Mork). Thirty yeers from now, when another bunch of boyz has joined our Waaagh and a young 'un asks ya "how many humies haz you killed?" yoo don't need ta say "None. My job iz ta shovel squig-droppings." All right now you sons of squigs, you know how I feel, I'll be right glad ta lead you killy boyz into fightin' anytime, any planet, any enemy. Dat's all fer now.
"Our sikkbombs will blot out da sun!"
"Den uz fights in da shade!"
*hail of deafening explosions*
High Lord Daxos: I see I was wrong to expect the orks commitment to at least match our own.
Warboss Zognidas: Wut?
[grabs soldier behind Daxos]
Warboss Zognidas: Oi, you, what iz your job?
Astropath: I am an Astropath... sir.
Warboss Zognidas: [points to another soldier] And you, 'umie, what iz your job?
Minestorium Priest: I am a Priest wielding the might of the emperor!
Warboss Zognidas: Priest.
[turns to a third soldier]
Warboss Zognidas: You?
Techpriest: I repair the holy machines of terra.
Warboss Zognidas: [turns back shouting] Orks, wut iz yar job?
Orks: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Warboss Zognidas: See? Uz brought more soldiers than you did.
Messenger: Choose your next words carefully, Zognidas. They may be your last as Warboss.
Warboss Zognidas: *mumles and scratches his head*
[Zognidas pulls out his big choppa and roars up the chain-blades]
Messenger: This is blasphemy! This is madness!
*Warboss Zognidas 'eadbuts the Messenger*
Warboss Zognidas: Shut up, da well is already full wif stupid gitz like you. I needz moar wells.
7 Ork facts people always get wrong: Ragnar did not win against Thrakka, but suffered two crushing defeats within a few days of each other. A lasgun is powerful enough to sever an ork's appendage or head in a single, well aimed shot. Orks meks have a better understanding of electrics and mechanics than most Tech Priests. Orks actually do not think that purple makes them harder to see. The joke was made canon by Alex Stewart's Caphias Cain books. Gharkull Blackfang did not even come close to killing the emperor. Orks can be corrupted by chaos, but few of them have any interest in what chaos offers. Orks do not have the power of believe.
Warboss Churchill So yeah, we got stomped in Done-kirk, but dat git Napoleon once stood on da shores uv da Englishy-Channel fing an wot couldn't cross it, mutterin 'dar be bitter fungus in England.' But ya know, we pulled froo den an we's gonna pull froo now. Just cause da humie gitz made us leg it from Done-kirk doesn't means dey won yet. An, ya knows, dey lost a lotta boyz in dat Done-Kirk scrap too (hur hur). But ya know, Waaagh's isn't won by evakuashin. No, evakuashin get's ya killed, mostly by me, so get over der an' kill da humies.
Der neva 'az been, in all da galaxy, in all da 'istory of WAAAGH such an oppurtoonity fer you's boyz. Da boyz who attacked da Knights uv da round table fing, da boyz who wot went an' smashed da kroosader boyz, all fall back into da past. Which meanz you gots to find some moar boyz ta smash an smash em. Des young boyz goin' forth every day ta 'ave a good scrap, to smash other people's native landz, squash all that dey stand fer. 'Olding in der 'ands dakka and choppa of proppa, killy deadliness, uv dem it can be said dat every day brought forth an orky nob an' every nob brought forth an orky mob, dey all gots me gratatood and'll enjoy some of da spoils when we're done 'ere.
Turnin' once moar to da kwestion of humie invashion, I says "shove it." In da dayz of Napoleon, da same winds wot could have got his boyz over here could also have whipped right back an sent him a-packing. But we knows da humies an' dey is moar clever den a grot wot been watching a big mek at work. Dey iz gonna try somefink, but whatever it iz, we's gonna get em good. I's like a big mek myself: I doesn't fink any idea's too stoopid for dem humies to try. If dey iz gonna dress up like grots an' try ta weasel der way across da Channel, dey'll find us dakka-ready. An' wes never gonna forget da flyboyz, which can knock da enemy flat.
We's gonna get going on dis fight den, if necessary fer years, if necessary on our lonesome. At any rate, dat is wot I is gonna try an' if you lot want some of da spoils, you's better get behind me pole, or I'll thump you when I'm done wif da humies. Dis is da will of Gork an Mork. Da British Tribe Orks and da French Tribe Orks, linked togever under me (zog warboss De Gaulle) ta fight ter da deff on someone else's native soil, smashing good enemies wiff da utmost of der killin' power. Some famous places and states whose names I can't remember have been snatched by da humies, we izn't lowering our poles, we shall rampage on ta da end.
We shall blow up France. We shall use all da seaz an' oceans to fuel our trukks. Our flyboyz'll fly wiff growin' strength an' confidenceyness in da sky! We shall loot our island, wotever da cost may be. We shall charge up da beaches. We shall desolate da landin' groundz. We shall burn all da fields, an' da streetz, we shall flatten da hillz. We shall neva' run like grotz. An' if, which I dosen't fer a moment not believe, dese humies, or large part of em, are enslaved an' starvin, 'aving been squished by me boyz, we shall continues our struggle against any uther humies 'ere until, in Gork's (or Mork's) good time, we can rush across the Atlantic an' flatten da New World, wiff all of it's flash and kit, aswells!
WAAAAAGH!!!!!
Cuddly Squig... I did a full report on Patton's speech Junior year of high school... Thank you so very much for giving me the greatest retelling of these two speeches I've ever heard!
Praise be to the Omnissiah
IG/"Legion of the Damned" - 5000 points (Cripes, when did that happen?)
Vampire Counts: 1000 points? Maybe? Either way... Welcome to the Jungle
Waiting for my shill money from Spiral Arm Studios
Not to mention Kurlinn
Self-proclaimed evil Cat-person. Dues Ex Felines
Cato Sicarius, after force feeding Captain Ventris a copy of the Codex Astartes for having the audacity to play Deathwatch, chokes to death on his own D-baggery after finding Calgar assembling his new Eldar army.
Martin Loother, the King of da Georgia Boyz ork tribe Five skore yearz ago (how long is that? A hundred yeers?) a great american, in hooze symbolik shadow we gatha signed a fancy piece of paper all covered in scribbles. Dat’s around when we attacked. How do you like him now? We’s turned it into a great beacon of light to millions of boyz who’re bored as zog, saying “come ‘ere fer a right good fight!” Watch all da fires consuming it blaze! Dat fire’ll bring boyz frum far an’ wide to continue our war against da humies.
One hundred years later, da humies here still izn’t all dead. Our waaaagh! is slowed down right good by manacles of this and chains of that. A hundred years later, we’s slackin’ off and da humies izn’t wormfood. He’z livin on an island of prosp’rity in da middle of a sea of green. Dat’s not good. A hundred years later, da humies is still langwishing in da kornerz of da lands we’ve driven into, squatting like squatters. So we’ve come ‘ere ta burn down der symbol of hope, dis Lincoln Memorial fingy an’ gets our act togetha! We’s come to this capital to smash down da fings dat da architects of da humies built. Stomp on der rights of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. During da fighting I know I tried to cash in a humie cheque at a bank and I wuz told “insufficient funds.” So I smashed da bank down! HAHAHA!
Anyways, we must not let dis act of setting the Lincoln Memorial aburning stay an act of creative protest ‘gainst da humies. We gotta drink frum da cup of bitterness an’ hatred and degenerate into a good ‘ard mob of green killers like we’s supposed to be. We gotta meet physical force wif even more physical force. Dis new militancy which haz engulfed us must lead to da smashin’ uf da humies, for many of our humie foes, as evidenced by their “presence” ‘ere today (or at least deir ‘eads atop poles, hur hur) haz come to start finkin’ dat der fate is to be beneath us boyz.
Then there iz those humies who ask us “when will you greenskins be satisfied? You’s slaughtered us by the million.” We can never be satisfied while der iz still humies in killin’ distance. We cannot be satisfied when we’re robbed of our dignity when we see humie cities, standin’ tall, unsmashed an’ unorkified. We cannot be satisfied when dere is humies in Mississippi who live an’ humies in New York who have fings to live for. Get it humies? We izn’t gonna be satisfied until every last zogging one of you’s is cold an’ dead and yer blood iz rolling like a mighty stream.
I is quite mindful that some of you lot have gone through a lot. Narrow huts, cramped wagon compartments, the like. I’s gotta tell you: I doesn’t give a squig-turd if you’s not been cozy. You’s an ork: act it.
Let not da humies prance in da valley ‘uv peace, I say to you today me boyz. Let’s get a-going an’ kill da humiez!
I haz a dream dat one day dis hmie nation will rise up to da kreed we gave it: dat all men is created to be sport for orks.
I haz a dream dat one day da ‘ills of Georgia’ll be made red wif da blood of da sons of former slaves an’ former slave ownerz.
I haz a dream dat even da state of Mississippi, which iz an oasis fer humies seekin’ to escape da orks, will swelter wif da heat of burning cities
I haz a dream dat lil grots will be found guilty of theft, then fed to a squig, rather den da ‘uther way around.
I haz a dream todays.
I haz a dream dat one day in Alabama, wif its vicious defenders, dat one day right der in Alabama, da ‘eads of white humies and da ‘eads of black humies can swing from da same trophy rack like dey was family or somefink.
I haz a dream todays
I haz a dream dat every valley shall be flooded to make dams ta make power for me zzap gunz an every hill an mountain shall be made low, every plain place shall be made ruff, an every straight line shall be made krooked and da glory ‘uv da orks shall be made klear as every bit of humie flesh is seen apart.
Dat is me hope. So you’d better get about doing it or I’ll be right mad wif you lot. Bring on da day when da humies sing: “Me country’s all wrecked up! Land where me fathers died, now’s gonna be where I die.” And if dis nation iz gonna be left a smoldering wreck, dis must become true. Let da warcries rage!
Let da warcries rage from da fortified hillforts of Newer Hampshire.
Let da warcries rage from da mighty warbosses of New Ork.
Let da warcries rage from da heightening allghethingies ‘uv Pensoo-lvaneeya
Let da warcries rage from da snow-capped rock-fingies in Kolorado.
Let da warcries rage from da sloped battlewagonz in Kaliforniya.
But not only dis
Let da warcries rage from Warboss Stone Mountain in Georgia
Let da warcries rage from every lookout in da mountains of Ten-a-see.
Let da warcries rage from every hut an boyz shack in Mississippi.
From every mountainside, let da green warcries rage
An when dis ‘appens, when we let da warcries rage, across every village an’ city, we will be able to speed up da day when every one of da humies, black men, white men, Jooz and Gentilz, Protustunts and Kathliks, will be able to cry out at once:
“It’s da orks! It’s da orks! Help us god, here come da orks!”
Four score an seven years ago, our warbosses crumped some british sods and made The United WAAAGH! of America. Now some gits wanna break up dat WAAAGH! We are here to krump dese gits an show dem wats wat. We dedicate dis battle to the gits that got zogged cuz we can. But we can't quite do it right, cuz the Orks dat got zogged ere already done it with their spores. The WAAAGH! dont care nothin bout what we say, but it'll always remember dem gitz dat fought ere. Now its up to us gitz still krumpin to show dem southern sods wat we do. And from the boyz that got stomped we take more numbers and know that this WAAAGH!, under Mork, can krump, an da Warboss of da boyz, for da boyz won't get krumped.
7000 
Warboss Patton 
Praise be to the Omnissiah 
