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Problem: if Valentine's Day over there is anything like it is over here, you're already too late to get any reservations for any of the nice restaurants, so keep that in mind.
"Through the darkness of future past, the magician longs to see.
One chants out between two worlds: Fire, walk with me." - Twin Peaks
"You listen to me. While I will admit to a certain cynicism, the fact is that I am a naysayer and hatchetman in the fight against violence. I pride myself in taking a punch and I'll gladly take another because I choose to live my life in the company of Gandhi and King. My concerns are global. I reject absolutely revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method... is love. I love you Sheriff Truman." - Twin Peaks
Yeah, I just picked the fanciest place, because going to a fast food place on your first big date on Valentines day is likely to flop hard.
Take with a grain of salt, I can't speak or women, but I think on the whole you want something slightly above average, but not too crazy. Like, on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being crappy food truck and 10 being Masa (I looked up "most expensive restaurants in the world" and this popped up), and with 5 being an "ok" sitdown (like applebees or something), you probably want to aim for a 6-7. Go slightly nicer than your average sitdown, but you don't want to go too nice, because then people start to question your motives, and wonder about your propensity to sling money around.
Of course, it also depends on the woman you're dating. Some don't like fancy places, some love them and want to feel pampered. Some women (and men) will have dietary restrictions that are important to note.
Maybe do something like get a reservation at a nice, but not too nice, place, and then ask her about her if she has any preferences/dietary restrictions. Phrase it something like "I was thinking of XX, but I wanted to check and make sure that you can eat there. Do you have any restrictions or preferences?"
I wouldn't mention that you've made a reservation, since she will probably feel forced to go along, and you don't want her to feel forced to go along. From her perspective, it's "our" date, not "your date, with me being the arm candy." By suggesting it, you can show you've put thought into it, but can also get her input, as well as gauge her reaction and act accordingly.
But again, grain of salt.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/02/11 02:19:08
Christ dude, you've got 4 days to sort something and NOW you ask?!!
Firstly, it would be better to choose a local, reputable restaurant/gastro pub rather than a chain.
The issue will likely be getting a table at this short notice, but if you can, do this.
The issue with chain restaurants is they scream "I have no personality or imagination" but they might be your only choice, if so, choose one you're familiar with, as at least you'll be familiar with the way things work for ordering food etc, and aren't likely to commit a faux pas, which means you'll at least be more relaxed, which is A Good Thing.
You do NOT need to spend a fortune, in fact, going too upmarket this early on in your relationship could freak her out, but a small gift, as its Valentines day, wouldn't be the worst idea. But rather than roses or chocolates, perhaps you could think back to talks you've had and come up with a small but thoughtful gift based on something she's expressed an interest in or liking for. Believe me, demonstrating you were paying attention to what she said, especially if some time has elapsed, is a brilliant way of earning many brownie points.
We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't. - Frank Howard Clark
The wise man doubts often, and changes his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubts not; he knows all things but his own ignorance.
The correct statement of individual rights is that everyone has the right to an opinion, but crucially, that opinion can be roundly ignored and even made fun of, particularly if it is demonstrably nonsense!” Professor Brian Cox
Do not bring sense into this thread , although i am thinking maybe a (pleasant) surprise would be better. That said take her someone nice with tablecloths and waiters. Do not take her to a chain of any kind, nothing says unimaginative or cheap like a chain. You get one chance to make an impression I'm thinking pizzadonalds is not the way to go , however if she could have BPD a big mac might be the way to go, or optionally the fore mentioned porn, lingerie and $7 night .
Since you're low on time maybe a WELL planned and WELL catered picnic (preferably made by you) somewhere with a view and feth all people (gl with that though)
Manchu - "But so what? The Bible also says the flood destroyed the world. You only need an allegorical boat to tackle an allegorical flood."
Shespits "Anything i see with YOLO has half naked eleventeen year olds Girls. And of course booze and drugs and more half naked elventeen yearolds Girls. O how i wish to YOLO again!"
Rubiksnoob "Next you'll say driving a stick with a Scandinavian supermodel on your lap while ripping a bong impairs your driving. And you know what, I'M NOT GOING TO STOP, YOU FILTHY COMMUNIST"
McDonalds, and pay separately. Your goal is to use the date as a filter: if she never speaks to you again because you didn't spend enough money, great! Now you can move on to someone who actually wants to spend time with you instead of just collecting free food.
There is no such thing as a hobby without politics. "Leave politics at the door" is itself a political statement, an endorsement of the status quo and an attempt to silence dissenting voices.
I would have thought that a filter is supposed to let something through it, that sounds like a pretty airtight way to filter everyone out. If you do however follow his advice ,instead of a flower a half rotted piece of compost should suffice.
Manchu - "But so what? The Bible also says the flood destroyed the world. You only need an allegorical boat to tackle an allegorical flood."
Shespits "Anything i see with YOLO has half naked eleventeen year olds Girls. And of course booze and drugs and more half naked elventeen yearolds Girls. O how i wish to YOLO again!"
Rubiksnoob "Next you'll say driving a stick with a Scandinavian supermodel on your lap while ripping a bong impairs your driving. And you know what, I'M NOT GOING TO STOP, YOU FILTHY COMMUNIST"
Peregrine wrote: McDonalds, and pay separately. Your goal is to use the date as a filter: if she never speaks to you again because you didn't spend enough money, great! Now you can move on to someone who actually wants to spend time with you instead of just collecting free food.
Peregrine wrote: McDonalds, and pay separately. Your goal is to use the date as a filter: if she never speaks to you again because you didn't spend enough money, great! Now you can move on to someone who actually wants to spend time with you instead of just collecting free food.
Please tell me you're joking man.
One would hope so, but I've read enough of Peregrine's posts to suspect that much of his knowledge of the human race is essentially theoretical, so I wouldn't go all in on it!
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2014/02/11 03:27:47
We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't. - Frank Howard Clark
The wise man doubts often, and changes his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubts not; he knows all things but his own ignorance.
The correct statement of individual rights is that everyone has the right to an opinion, but crucially, that opinion can be roundly ignored and even made fun of, particularly if it is demonstrably nonsense!” Professor Brian Cox
Peregrine wrote: McDonalds, and pay separately. Your goal is to use the date as a filter: if she never speaks to you again because you didn't spend enough money, great! Now you can move on to someone who actually wants to spend time with you instead of just collecting free food.
Please tell me you're joking man.
One would hope so, but I've read enough of Peregrine's posts to suspect that much of his knowledge of the human race is essentially theoretical, so I wouldn't go all on it!
Oh no he didn't!
OP: Asking for advice from Dakka for dating is probably a fundamentally flawed proposition.
If you want to bone her, don't feed her first. Simple rule of dating.
Crap, ,I wasn't implying he's a virgin, more that many of his opinions seem to have been formed in a vacuum and don't really seem to jive with the realities of day to day living.
We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't. - Frank Howard Clark
The wise man doubts often, and changes his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubts not; he knows all things but his own ignorance.
The correct statement of individual rights is that everyone has the right to an opinion, but crucially, that opinion can be roundly ignored and even made fun of, particularly if it is demonstrably nonsense!” Professor Brian Cox
Do not bring sense into this thread , although i am thinking maybe a (pleasant) surprise would be better. That said take her someone nice with tablecloths and waiters. Do not take her to a chain of any kind, nothing says unimaginative or cheap like a chain. You get one chance to make an impression I'm thinking pizzadonalds is not the way to go , however if she could have BPD a big mac might be the way to go, or optionally the fore mentioned porn, lingerie and $7 night .
Since you're low on time maybe a WELL planned and WELL catered picnic (preferably made by you) somewhere with a view and feth all people (gl with that though)
I love the picnic idea. That could be really sweet! Except I wouldn't say somewhere with no people - somewhere that's not packed with people, but still has enough other people around to be comfortable.
azreal13 wrote: Crap, ,I wasn't implying he's a virgin, more that many of his opinions seem to have been formed in a vacuum and don't really seem to jive with the realities of day to day living.
As long as he doesn't try to solve his virginity issue with a vacuum everything should work out ok .
Good point Plastic , I didn't think about the possibility of creepy factor , I was just thinking romantic.
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2014/02/11 03:39:41
Manchu - "But so what? The Bible also says the flood destroyed the world. You only need an allegorical boat to tackle an allegorical flood."
Shespits "Anything i see with YOLO has half naked eleventeen year olds Girls. And of course booze and drugs and more half naked elventeen yearolds Girls. O how i wish to YOLO again!"
Rubiksnoob "Next you'll say driving a stick with a Scandinavian supermodel on your lap while ripping a bong impairs your driving. And you know what, I'M NOT GOING TO STOP, YOU FILTHY COMMUNIST"
Do not bring sense into this thread , although i am thinking maybe a (pleasant) surprise would be better. That said take her someone nice with tablecloths and waiters. Do not take her to a chain of any kind, nothing says unimaginative or cheap like a chain. You get one chance to make an impression I'm thinking pizzadonalds is not the way to go , however if she could have BPD a big mac might be the way to go, or optionally the fore mentioned porn, lingerie and $7 night .
Since you're low on time maybe a WELL planned and WELL catered picnic (preferably made by you) somewhere with a view and feth all people (gl with that though)
I love the picnic idea. That could be really sweet! Except I wouldn't say somewhere with no people - somewhere that's not packed with people, but still has enough other people around to be comfortable.
A picnic?
Oh, you Antipodeans!
You know its fething winter in the UK right? More to the point, its winter and half the country is under water thanks to record levels of rainfall? (even for the English!)
We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't. - Frank Howard Clark
The wise man doubts often, and changes his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubts not; he knows all things but his own ignorance.
The correct statement of individual rights is that everyone has the right to an opinion, but crucially, that opinion can be roundly ignored and even made fun of, particularly if it is demonstrably nonsense!” Professor Brian Cox
I still want to salvage the concept but I basically have no idea what it's like to live somewhere that snows, so I don't know the first place to start.
"Record levels of rainfall" makes me think "awesome, let's go have a picnic somewhere we can watch the floodwaters going by somewhere ridiculous." Since the OP is in the UK they can get some delicious fish and chips and have that for the picnic. This date is shaping up to be so amazing that I want to go on it now.
None of those places sound particularly good, I'd say skip the dinner and do something else.
As a general rule don't bother taking your dates out for dinner unless the food is memorably good (not necessarily expensive or sophisticated, just good). Your mileage may vary dependent on partner, though if they don't appreciate good food why are you taking them to dinner anyway?
Peregrine wrote: McDonalds, and pay separately. Your goal is to use the date as a filter: if she never speaks to you again because you didn't spend enough money, great! Now you can move on to someone who actually wants to spend time with you instead of just collecting free food.
Please tell me you're joking man.
Well, somewhat. I'd never seriously suggest McDonalds when you can probably find a good local burger place with better food and cheaper prices.
There is no such thing as a hobby without politics. "Leave politics at the door" is itself a political statement, an endorsement of the status quo and an attempt to silence dissenting voices.
Peregrine wrote: McDonalds, and pay separately. Your goal is to use the date as a filter: if she never speaks to you again because you didn't spend enough money, great! Now you can move on to someone who actually wants to spend time with you instead of just collecting free food.
Please tell me you're joking man.
Well you could spring for a happy meal, if you're feeling generous. Bring the ripple in your own cups.
-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
Do this, you have some time to practice. But, they'll likely enjoy it more than those places.
Do not do this.
Inviting someone around to your house on your first proper date has the potential to send out all sorts of incorrect signals.
A neutral location is a much better idea.
Of course, if you can contrive a way to cook for her in a neutral location, that's full of all sorts of win. (Women generally appreciate a man with cooking skills)
We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't. - Frank Howard Clark
The wise man doubts often, and changes his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubts not; he knows all things but his own ignorance.
The correct statement of individual rights is that everyone has the right to an opinion, but crucially, that opinion can be roundly ignored and even made fun of, particularly if it is demonstrably nonsense!” Professor Brian Cox
Asmodai Asmodean wrote: OP: Asking for advice from Dakka for dating is probably a fundamentally flawed proposition.
I can't believe you used the word "probably" in that sentence.
Not that I think people should stop asking for dating advice on Dakka, however. They're usually some of my very favorite threads. I always learn a lot about other Dakkaites in those. Yesterday I was wondering when the "show her who's boss" crowd would show up, and it seems that Peregrine has ridden to the rescue?
Well, I would say my house, after removing any unwanted family members/flatmates.
it is very hard to have kinky fethery at a diner. At home on the other hand.....
Free from GW's tyranny and the hobby is looking better for it
DR:90-S++G+++M++B++I+Pww205++D++A+++/sWD146R++T(T)D+
master of ordinance wrote: Well, I would say my house, after removing any unwanted family members/flatmates.
it is very hard to have kinky fethery at a diner. At home on the other hand.....
And that is exactly why inviting someone back to your place for a serious first date is a terrible idea.
At least take them out somewhere first before one of you offers to go back to your place.
master of ordinance wrote: Well, I would say my house, after removing any unwanted family members/flatmates.
it is very hard to have kinky fethery at a diner. At home on the other hand.....
And that is exactly why inviting someone back to your place for a serious first date is a terrible idea.
At least take them out somewhere first before one of you offers to go back to your place.
Ohhh, serious dates?
Simple: a good, classy resturant, like The Chines Buffet that we have over here. Not too expensive, but very stylish.
Free from GW's tyranny and the hobby is looking better for it
DR:90-S++G+++M++B++I+Pww205++D++A+++/sWD146R++T(T)D+
Oh no he didn't!
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