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Da Boss wrote: Sigvatr: There is still an element of luck though. For example being born in a developed nation that is able to offer you the relevant chances. That doesn't minimise your hard work, but I think it is worth acknowledging that those of us born in developed nations are inherently lucky.
I would not call this "luck". It's a variable. By calling anything "luck" you surrender all your chances for a change to it. And while certainly applicable in this very case, I can only recommend not using the term "luck" to begin with. Like, a weak mind would say that me meeting my wife would have been luck. A strong mind would say that I positively and consequently improved my chances to meet such a woman by focusing my free time on a special area of interest and thus narrowing the pool of potential partners by the topic. A strong mind aims focuses on a state of mind where you maximize the changing potential to get a desired outcome. If you succeed, you fully attribute the result to your own actions. Likewise, if you lose, you attribute the loss to your own actions, you reflect and try to improve. The entire concept of "luck" outside of trivial situations (i.e.: rolling a dice etc.) is a very comforting idea because you don't have to blame yourself for anything - someone else was lucky, you weren't! In reality, though, that's a loser's attitude. It's a good thing to avoid people thinking that way as they drag others down as well.
There's variables that cannot be influenced, such as where you are born. But if anyone says "I can't become anything, my life sucks because I am born in _____.", then that person has given up and lost his worth. Move on.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/10/03 16:46:12
Da Boss wrote: Sigvatr: There is still an element of luck though. For example being born in a developed nation that is able to offer you the relevant chances. That doesn't minimise your hard work, but I think it is worth acknowledging that those of us born in developed nations are inherently lucky.
I would not call this "luck". It's a variable. By calling anything "luck" you surrender all your chances for a change to it. And while certainly applicable in this very case, I can only recommend not using the term "luck" to begin with. Like, a weak mind would say that me meeting my wife would have been luck. A strong mind would say that I positively and consequently improved my chances to meet such a woman by focusing my free time on a special area of interest and thus narrowing the pool of potential partners by the topic. A strong mind aims focuses on a state of mind where you maximize the changing potential to get a desired outcome. If you succeed, you fully attribute the result to your own actions. Likewise, if you lose, you attribute the loss to your own actions, you reflect and try to improve. The entire concept of "luck" outside of trivial situations (i.e.: rolling a dice etc.) is a very comforting idea because you don't have to blame yourself for anything - someone else was lucky, you weren't! In reality, though, that's a loser's attitude. It's a good thing to avoid people thinking that way as they drag others down as well.
There's variables that cannot be influenced, such as were you are born. But if anyone says "I can't become anything, my life sucks because I am born in _____.", then that person has given up and lost his worth. Move on.
Okay, now can you explain to us then how exactly you used your hard work, focus, and strong mind to make sure you were born in a developed nation?
By calling anything "luck" you surrender all your chances for a change to it. And while certainly applicable in this very case, I can only recommend not using the term "luck" to begin with.
Oh, I see, so you don't call it luck, though the term is applicable in this case, but for something to be luck, you've let go of any chances to change it, but we shouldn't use luck to begin with. Then this variable thing comes in to play. So if it looks like luck and it quacks like luck it's a variable instead because luck implies it's beyond your control?
Like, a weak mind would say that me meeting my wife would have been luck. A strong mind would say that I positively and consequently improved my chances to meet such a woman by focusing my free time on a special area of interest and thus narrowing the pool of potential partners by the topic. A strong mind aims focuses on a state of mind where you maximize the changing potential to get a desired outcome. If you succeed, you fully attribute the result to your own actions. Likewise, if you lose, you attribute the loss to your own actions, you reflect and try to improve. The entire concept of "luck" outside of trivial situations (i.e.: rolling a dice etc.) is a very comforting idea because you don't have to blame yourself for anything - someone else was lucky, you weren't! In reality, though, that's a loser's attitude. It's a good thing to avoid people thinking that way as they drag others down as well.
I don't see how this relates to being born. I can only assume it's related though and helped out your variables.
There's variables that cannot be influenced, such as where you are born. But if anyone says "I can't become anything, my life sucks because I am born in _____.", then that person has given up and lost his worth. Move on.
Oh there it is. Those things don't help, and were basically unrelated. I thought they were supporting evidence or something. I get it now! So... you think there's a difference between considering it lucky to be born someplace more developed in the world, and considering it a variable beyond your control that was favorable to your own personal outcome?
Sigvatr wrote: I would not call this "luck". It's a variable. By calling anything "luck" you surrender all your chances for a change to it
You don't have the capacity to change anything. Whatever will happen to you is decided by factors that were directly influenced by things that happened before you made your "decision," including your decision. Your 'work ethic' is not chosen, it's a perverse endowment that comes from both mesoscopic social phenomenon like your personal upbringing and macroscopic phenomenon like the normative framework of the country you live in.
All you can control and have possession of is your own mind, which is itself constantly assaulted by outside influences like pain and need, and is powerless to affect your 'material' circumstances in any case.
You earn nothing and deserve nothing for 'your efforts.' It's despicable that you would further feel justified in lording your fortune over others who weren't given the same sickening endowments.
Go and check out the CYOA thread for some escapist fun
-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
Y'know, I'm technically an old fart (at least around these parts), but I don't really feel like an old fart most of the time. Then I see a post like the previous one and all kinds of old fart thoughts go through my head.
Variables that can be influenced. Variables that cannot be influenced. The latter are extremely rare. Location of birth belongs to the latter. Most others do not.
It's important to not only have a look at what immediately led to any situation, there's more to it. Every situation is influenced by long- and short-term decisions and people mostly focus on the latter as they are easier to get and require little to no reflection.
My point is that there's different mindsets. Luck exists, certainly. Like rolling a dice. Luck, after all. But let's say that someone is in dire need of money and he decides to go to a casino. He loses all of his money because of an unlucky dice roll and then blames bad luck. Loser attitude as in blaming it entirely on outer circumstances. The more important question is: what led to this situation?
I was talking about an entire mindset, not a mere variable that does not matter to begin with.
Sigvatr wrote: I would not call this "luck". It's a variable. By calling anything "luck" you surrender all your chances for a change to it
You don't have the capacity to change anything. Whatever will happen to you is decided by factors that were directly influenced by things that happened before you made your "decision," including your decision. Your 'work ethic' is not chosen, it's a perverse endowment that comes from both mesoscopic social phenomenon like your personal upbringing and macroscopic phenomenon like the normative framework of the country you live in.
All you can control and have possession of is your own mind, which is itself constantly assaulted by outside influences like pain and need, and is powerless to affect your 'material' circumstances in any case.
You earn nothing and deserve nothing for 'your efforts.' It's despicable that you would further feel justified in lording your fortune over others who weren't given the same sickening endowments.
You must have such a happy life knowing you may as well not exist.
Actually, it doesn't. A die lands on the side it will land on because of the way it's thrown and the medium it's traveling through and the cosmic forces acting on it. Well, actually, it lands that way because there's no way, ontologically, for it to have landed without being something that it's not, but that's a bit more esoteric than needs to be discussed for the purposes of this argument.
The point is that everything is "out of your hands." Even your own thoughts are suspect, at least certainly at the ego-level.
Blaming people for their own misfortune is nonsense. Just as you don't control your fortune, they have no control over their misfortune. What you're interested in and informed by is the world of seeming, a place devoid of substance that encourages you and your ilk to prey on the meek. The 'master morality' is what's truly enslaved, as it confirms your gleeful subordination to nature.
Variables that can be influenced. Variables that cannot be influenced. The latter are extremely rare. Location of birth belongs to the latter. Most others do not.
In fact, all variables are uncontrollable. You didn't choose where you were born just as you didn't choose what time to wake up today and you didn't choose to be entangled in discussion with a stranger on the internet. You didn't choose your contentment with fruitless labor just as you didn't choose to chain electron exchanges in a way that your brain interprets as the sensation of touching your keyboard. These things happen, and they don't even happen to you. They happen to the thing you're observing, and to take pride in them is a spiteful folly.
Soladrin wrote: You must have such a happy life knowing you may as well not exist.
I exist entirely separate from the 'physical' human being that I seemingly occupy, just as you do.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/10/03 17:58:57
Go and check out the CYOA thread for some escapist fun
Sigvatr wrote: Variables that can be influenced. Variables that cannot be influenced. The latter are extremely rare. Location of birth belongs to the latter. Most others do not.
It's important to not only have a look at what immediately led to any situation, there's more to it. Every situation is influenced by long- and short-term decisions and people mostly focus on the latter as they are easier to get and require little to no reflection.
My point is that there's different mindsets. Luck exists, certainly. Like rolling a dice. Luck, after all. But let's say that someone is in dire need of money and he decides to go to a casino. He loses all of his money because of an unlucky dice roll and then blames bad luck. Loser attitude as in blaming it entirely on outer circumstances. The more important question is: what led to this situation?
I was talking about an entire mindset, not a mere variable that does not matter to begin with.
I mean, I agree with the base premise, I just don't know if I can extend it so far. I think you can reconcile the existence and significance of luck without necessarily using the notion of bad luck as a means of not owning your failures.
This conversation is significant to me (and I'm sorry if I sounded snippy earlier, it is only because of that significance that I did) because I have a tendency to get very angry and morose over factors that are genuinely out of my control that I wish to have a different outcome. While it's important to have a post mortem on things that have gone wrong that you do not seek to wish to repeat, there should be a means to ascribe some quality to those things that are beyond your means to change. Variables is just too clinical for me. To use an example, I would say that I am lucky for having had to endure very little death in terms of friends or family. In reality, this is because they are all healthy people who themselves make safe, healthy choices, but those choices are beyond my ability to control, at least directly. As such, while not pure chaos, because I do choose to be friends (sidestepping that you 'can't choose your family') with those people, it's still a secondary effect of a primary choice made long ago.
Your ultimate question is the reason why I cannot judge your hyopthetical gambler. For all I know, he was in a situation for which the best risk vs. reward actually was to risk all his money for some payout, however slim. Perhaps some poor choice upon his behalf brought him to that point, but he cannot undo that change, even then after learning from it, he still has to deal with the ramifications of what lead him there. In other words, and we might be talking past each other here, though the past is there to learn from, you still live in the present.
Out of curiosity, if the gamble was in fact demonstrably the most guaranteed payout for the time/money spent, and prior to knowing the outcome of the game, would you say that it could be a question of luck at that point, being an unknown outcome based upon potentially non-trivial amounts of entropy?
Just want to put it out there that knowing people isnt always luck. If you dad knows someone who owns a business that got you a job, it isnt luck. It was more than likely a person your dad met through his hard work.
If you work hard you will find contacts for your child to get further in life.
It all starts with work. You dont really get a dice result without rolling the dice first. (or something intelligent I dont know).
Sometimes it may be a guy you met at a bar who owns his business and bam you somewhat randomly got a contact. But more often than not knowing people and them having a good opinion of you enough for it to matter started with work either from your father, or his father and so on. Or yourself.
So if you are struggling for a job, the first person to ask is normally your parents to see if they can find anyone that can help. Not always, but if they worked hard and so on, they will know people.
I also think when luck seems to be involved, you can only make use of it if you have put in the work. It may be luck that your manager broke all 8 of his ankles, but you arent gonna get hired to replace the arachnid you worked for if you didnt work hard previously, the person who worked hard will more than likely capitalize on that luck.
Folks,
Excepting the absolute determinism of Kali, (who for some reason doesn't apply the same determinism to the function of their own mind) you folks are going back and forth over two factors that are not mutually exclusive. The effects of Random Chance and prexisting factors are no less real than the importance of taking individual action. It isn't an either-or proposition. It's both.
I believe very strongly in personal responsibility, but I also have alot of recent life experience that points to the incredible difficulties faced by people (not myself) who have the deck stacked against themselves from the beginning. It's can be a hard balance, but I believe it is important to both push individuals to strive HARD for excellence and at the same time to work to change the situations and correct the effects of things that stack the deck against certain groups of people (or individuals for that matter).
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2014/10/03 20:45:26
Eilif wrote: Excepting the absolute determinism of Kali, (who for some reason doesn't apply the same determinism to the function of their own mind)
I would apply it to the mind as well, but I hesitate to use that kind of terminology because I don't think the mind represents what we actually are in any case. I reject materialism, and believe reality is ideational, which is core to the distinction between mind and (decidedly non-religious) spirit/soul/etc. but that isn't central to this particular point (regarding 'determinism') so I prefer to speak of it in simpler terms.
Go and check out the CYOA thread for some escapist fun
Wasn't this thread about a dude who lived with his folks and wanted advice on whether he should be rocking the x-box until he found the job that was suitable for his talents?
Ah well, I'm in for some existentialism tinged with nihilism.
Kali, I agree with you that existence predates essence, and we have no control over the factors we are faced with. That's the luck for you.
And there, I would veer off and posit that once you come into possession of essence (the soul, mind, you) it is then incumbent upon that essence to seek meaning. We all seek success, Even Nietzsche wanted to publish books, although he thought it didn't matter at all. How we respond to our circumstances is what makes us successful or unsuccessful people.
I don't believe our responses are predetermined. We may be influenced by our pasts and informed by it, but the choice is still ours to make.
Klawz-Ramming is a subset of citrus fruit?
Gwar- "And everyone wants a bigger Spleen!"
Mercurial wrote:
I admire your aplomb and instate you as Baron of the Seas and Lord Marshall of Privateers.
Orkeosaurus wrote:Star Trek also said we'd have X-Wings by now. We all see how that prediction turned out.
Orkeosaurus, on homophobia, the nature of homosexuality, and the greatness of George Takei.
English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark alleyways and mugs them for loose grammar.
Gitzbitah wrote: Kali, I agree with you that existence predates essence, and we have no control over the factors we are faced with. That's the luck for you.
And there, I would veer off and posit that once you come into possession of essence (the soul, mind, you) it is then incumbent upon that essence to seek meaning. We all seek success, Even Nietzsche wanted to publish books, although he thought it didn't matter at all. How we respond to our circumstances is what makes us successful or unsuccessful people.
I don't believe our responses are predetermined. We may be influenced by our pasts and informed by it, but the choice is still ours to make.
I think we possess autonomy, but we don't have any means to express that autonomy in the 'material' world. We are observers, not actors, or maybe we are actors, but we cannot act to change "what is", because it would no longer be. What happens, what we observe, is only affected by factors that can affect it, i.e. the material/physical/cosmic forces that shape it. We cannot control those, nor can we control the factors which inform the ego about its preferences. All decisions made by the "person" of John Smith are made for him by the universe he inhabits. The reason we possess autonomy is that we are not the "person" of John Smith, we're the thing observing John.
Go and check out the CYOA thread for some escapist fun
So if I'm understanding you correctly, we have free will, but cannot utilize it to change anything we do, or simply anything about our surroundings?
Similar to a person watching a movie is free to think anything they like, but it will not change the movie?
I don't think I've run into this particular philosophy before. It bears similarities to solipsism.
Where then does the motivation to better oneself, or strive to improve come from? Is it just our fate that we believe we have to try?
Klawz-Ramming is a subset of citrus fruit?
Gwar- "And everyone wants a bigger Spleen!"
Mercurial wrote:
I admire your aplomb and instate you as Baron of the Seas and Lord Marshall of Privateers.
Orkeosaurus wrote:Star Trek also said we'd have X-Wings by now. We all see how that prediction turned out.
Orkeosaurus, on homophobia, the nature of homosexuality, and the greatness of George Takei.
English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark alleyways and mugs them for loose grammar.
Gitzbitah wrote: So if I'm understanding you correctly, we have free will, but cannot utilize it to change anything we do, or simply anything about our surroundings?
Free will exists, but it does not empower us with the ability to affect the 'material'.
Similar to a person watching a movie is free to think anything they like, but it will not change the movie?
Sure.
I don't think I've run into this particular philosophy before. It bears similarities to solipsism.
It's derived from Buddhist cosmology but I wouldn't describe it at all as solipsistic. In fact, a necessary component is that something is observing everything, a perfect observer which is definitely external (I would characterize this as the Akashic Record or simply Akasha).
Where then does the motivation to better oneself, or strive to improve come from? Is it just our fate that we believe we have to try?
Improvement in that sense happens to 'the World' (even if it is done to the "person" you seem to be), not you. Personal growth amounts, then, to achieving a more complete understanding of yourself and reality, aiming generally to transcend the vulgar 'material existence' and ascend the hierarchy of being. Instrumentally, I think Buddhism (in particular, the Rinzai school of Zen) offers a lot of advice in how exactly we can go about doing that, as do many Taoist authors.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/10/04 00:52:28
Go and check out the CYOA thread for some escapist fun
daedalus wrote: . In reality, this is because they are all healthy people who themselves make safe, healthy choices, but those choices are beyond my ability to control, at least directly. As such, while not pure chaos, because I do choose to be friends (sidestepping that you 'can't choose your family') with those people, it's still a secondary effect of a primary choice made long ago.
Good example. Health of beloved ones is a very important matter for most people - and it's one you can influence as well. If, for example, you know that your brother is a very risky driver, then that normally is your brother's decision and a defeatist like Kali would say "Meh, I can't change it anyway.". A strong mind would try to influence said variable - how, that I cannot say, for this is a hypothetical case and people react differently to different things. But it's a variable you can influence nevertheless.
What is to be important to keep in mind is focus. You need to prioritize variables as you just cannot try to influence all. You would end up being overburdened and thus would, ironically, lose control and thus influence again. Staying with the previous example, imagine you had a terrible relationship with your brother, he cheated your parents out of a large amount of money or worse. Ask yourself if any variable or event would influence yourself to a considerable negative amount - or positive. Then decide on whether you want to assign resources to it or not. That's the way of a successful person. A winner is able to prioritize and rationalise issues and can then react accordingly by properly allocating resources. But the first step is seeing those variables.
Out of curiosity, if the gamble was in fact demonstrably the most guaranteed payout for the time/money spent, and prior to knowing the outcome of the game, would you say that it could be a question of luck at that point, being an unknown outcome based upon potentially non-trivial amounts of entropy?
Gambling in general is a sign of having surrendered as you completely surrender all control. And although I cannot think of a situtation where this would be the best solution, if choosing to do so and winning, the actual event of winning is pure luck. Important: you willingly chose to get yourself in said situation and thus allowed the event to happen. Also important: don't think that it's the best way to solve any situation
My main point is: don't be a defeatist. Winners laugh at defeatists. We gladly use and abuse them, step on them to reach our goals. They highly influencable variables and worth sacrificing for a higher goal. You can influence the world around you to a larger degreee that you'd initially assume. ´This means leaving your comfort zone. It's going to be super tough. But it's worth it.
Enjoyed reading the responses, and those who gave their own experiences very much so. Kali's outlook is something that i often touch on, and i have frequent discussions with a friend about the philosophy of the western society and how it's perceived and what it actually is, etc etc.
I re-read my post back, and it does appear that i have presented a lifestyle of no work, ever. Which isn't actually true. My recent job that i left involved 10 to 14 hour days and i kinda didn't mind it. But my plan to go travelling again for a month never worked out as i didn't find a job quickly enough when i got back from my previous travels to save enough money to not feel poor after doing another trip. The job got to a point where it became slave labour and i knew my plans had been messed up so i lost all drive and wanted to experience my life of sport and xbox again.
The problem i express (with a better explanation), is i enjoy these two things and feel like i'd be happy to do them in the short-term whilst working a crappy job and forget about the future. Which is what i wasn't sure was a good idea.
I also tried to get one of my old jobs back, which would of really made me feel content. The reason i left the job years ago was because i wanted to be able to go do what my friends were doing, and i could never get the time off, ever. It wasn't even a case of one Saturday a month either. I also had to book holiday a year in advance. This was no good for my life then, however it was a secure, local, well paid with sick pay job. However now i'm willing to make the sacrifices for that job now because i have learnt life isn't friendly. I did four years at said job, doing overtime and not one sick day. My boss there wasn't willing to give me a reference when re-applying for the job. This is doesn't help my confidence. I have also done voluntary work in the past, admittedly for a friend's business, but it was still washing windows and counting stuff in the back on my knees.
Every time i think i have the answer and regain motivation, the next day is the opposite.
Mr. Burning wrote:
No one tells you that even with hardwork you may never achieve your goals BUT that it is okay to aspire but not succeed.
This is something i will "inform" my kids, if i ever get to that point, and choose to.
Easy E wrote:You are stuck in your comfort zone and too afraid to get out of it. I don't blame you, your comfort zone is pretty comfortable.
What I did to get me out of my comfort zone is, I packed up everything I owned and moved across the country where I had no support network. When Imoved I had no job, a beat-up car full of old stuff, a rental agreement on an apartment where I was going, and a wife in ill-health.
That put me in my discomfort zone, and I fundamentally grew as a person because of it. Now, every two years or so I try to do things to shake me out of my comfort zone and involve some level of risk.
Can't disagree with you at all. It drives motivation, or motivates a drive, something like that. I have thought about moving, but for me i see it as a drain on money at something which i believe a majorly positive outcome would be down to luck, luck of meeting the "right" people. And travelling is something i wouldn't be able to do, due to lack of money then. However it could still happen if i made that move, but it's that could that frightens me.
Swastakowey wrote:
I have a friend that was like you. Known him since I was 10. For years he just woke up, played video games, hung out and did whatever. He said it was awesome etc all the time but one day he reflected and thought about how sad it all was. It got to the point apparently where he felt so bored and unfulfilled that that he had to force himself to play video games otherwise he would just sit there all day. You dont want to be that guy.
But the longer you sit there the worse it will get. Working lets you meet people, those people have jobs and more importantly know other people with jobs. People talk and know other working people. I guess what im saying is video games wont get you the connections you need to get anywhere, just enough connections for another game. You want connections to get better jobs and success. You need to be around people who are successful. Most successful people actually do crap. If you want success find the most successful person you know and imitate them. That means doing stuff.
That's sad to hear. He's in the position where like me can "get away" with being a bum so there's little drive. Parents who i believe support their child in the wrong ways, or maybe too much financially.
I now realise (it took me a few years), meeting people does open doors. Something i've been working on. I only got back into 40k through an injury, therefore some spare time and wanted to meet new people, this hobby seemed like a good way to do that. I've also tried some other things, but it didn't work out. At least i tried. But what i did discover was that i was more confident that others, going to meets solo, chatting to whoever, and just turning up randomly.
nkelsch wrote:
eskimo wrote: I just find it impossible to imagen a life which is different from what i do now. In my experience, hearing from and watching others, it's primarily luck that has people in a position of happiness/ content that i'm jealous of. (except one or two who i know worked hard).
This is your problem. You are part of a generation who prizes natural talent or circumstance over hard work and then when you don't succeed, you can't accept responsibility because it is due to things outside your control.
Your attitude that you assume people who have what you don't 'lucked' into it when you have no way of knowing that and are jealous of it is a destructive attitude to take.
Interesting article, and it does make perfect sense. I do know people with their own businesses who work hard and they gave up a lot to make it happen, these aren't the people i was referring to though, as it's evident they gave up a lot. It's the people who have been in my situation, but yet out of nowhere they have a job they like, a girl and just appear to be happy. A compulsive liar and another guy who always had excuses and a frequent 30% attendance rate at school. These are however 2 extreme examples, but yet it still pains me.
And yet the biggest problem is, having the direction. I know people can work hard at life to achieve, but unless you know which way you want to go, no matter the amount of hard working is going to get you anywhere.
daedalus wrote:
I'm not sure if it was my upbringing or my unhealthy obsession with bikes that has led me to a state of un-satisfaction in the real world.
Posting following video for relevance of the intro.
Gitzbitah wrote:You know, it might be interesting to actually ask some of the people who you see succeeding how they succeeded. Usually, it involves a grotesque amount of determination and perseverance.
I've had a few conversations with older friends, all in their lower and upper 30's about life and such. One gave up a managerial role at the cut of 10K, another with a degree who said doesn't get paid much to do his office job and didn't seem to enthusiastic about it (but has kids) and the other said he was like me who questioned and confronted people in the work place, who did chance his way into his current job. But he did also make a key point when "letting it out", that he didn't like that some of our friends thought he had it easy. Which i know i was one of those friends, ironically.
Da Boss wrote: When you've got to think about someone else in a serious way, you have to put away some of the more unrealistic things you might have pined for and get down to making a living and getting stuff sorted out. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, despite what a lot of counter culture particularly tries to put across. Being a carer or a parent is one of the most important jobs there is, if not the single most important.
I do think this is where a lack of drive does come from too. I barely even have to look after myself to be perfectly honest. I've noticed changes in people when they become a parent.
Eilif wrote:
2) You've got to pick a direction and head that way. Whether that means staying where you are and busting your but for a slim chance of promotion, or picking something new and running it down, it's a tough world out there and though you might fail, you certainly won't get anywhere by waiting for something to happen.
3) Here's the tough love: ditch the freaking Xbox and put your sports in the "recreation" role they deserve. If career/work/education aren't getting the focus they need than get rid of what's getting in their way. I freely admit that much of success can be attributed to luck and one's social resources (which are largely fixed at birth), but I guarantee you your "lucky" friends were at least out there, and not giving their xbox higher prioirity than their "real life".
Very valid/ good points.
Skinnereal wrote:
Or, "it's not what you know, but who you know".
Which i think is probably better the option.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/10/04 11:00:45
Mordian Iron Guard - Major Overhaul in Progress 
