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 Hawky wrote:

 Adeptus Doritos wrote:
44. Not only will Sisters have boob plate, but we are going to see multiple options for various cup sizes.

With DD-sized cup being the smallest choice avalible.

Wait, they'll have smaller options than the current range?

This, This is too real.

59- For every sexist remark your opponent makes SoB players get an additional command point.

60 - SoB can ally with any army where the commander is female.

61 - in other news, the long-awaited Tyranid Dominatrix model will come out.

62. GW announce their whole SM range self identifies as Strong, Confident, Independant Women (who don’t wear robes to appease men), sell ‘Sororitas’ stickers to change the SM Codex text and welcome all pre-Primaris armies into the Sororitas fold.

#youtoo

They get a Rhino armed with chem-cannon, like the Bane Wolf has, along and huge cistern filled with a volatile compound, nicknamed Toxic Feminity.

Due to GW's long held understanding that Sisters sell badly, the new range will be chronically understocked and sell out in a week.

GW is releasing 'new' plastic sisters. However this is only for the exciting new units in the new Codex, there's no reason to replace the perfectly good metal sculpts, so you'll still have to buy basic sisters squads at current retail.

As no cannonesses wearing jump packs have seen any play recently, it was judged there was insufficent demand to release one.

All the 'New' units in the sisters Codex are in fact AdepMin units. There's four different poses of priest, and a full squad of 5pts per model sisters cultists! [All male.]

Since the Beta Acts of Faith rules were so unpopular, they have simply been removed.

Sisters get bolter discipline and -1 ap on their basic bolters.

73 - Sisters will get a new strategy, "Man Up" allowing them to replace any sisters unit with an equivalent Marine unit. This will cause great controversy among Sister players whether this should cost 3CP or 2CP.

74 - [Post stunningly obvious joke about 'red rage' that only works once a month. Get flamed for joke. Delete joke and deny ever posting it.]

75 - GW will finally embrace the gender fluidity themes of modern sci-fi and transhumanism, admit that the Emperor spent some time as a woman (also as an octopus, which led to *redacted*) and that Sisters are the long-lost female Space Marine chapter they always should have been. All Sisters get +1 WS, S, A, W. No points change.

-Even as we are slowly consumed by threads demanding GW make new plastic berserkers people will still insist they only see sisters players whining everywhere.

-Every codex released in Canada will be in French - not even Canadian French.

-It's all a lie, there are no plastic models, the Games Workshop Pied Piper is leading you all into a trap!

AdmiralHalsey wrote:


All the 'New' units in the sisters Codex are in fact AdepMin units. There's four different poses of priest, and a full squad of 5pts per model sisters cultists! [All male.]

via Imgflip Meme Generator

I cannot show pics, but the Sisters codex has been lost in the same drawer with the Squat codex.

They just have been found with sculpts and fluff. The team quickly combined the 2 into one updated codex.

The Sisters provide the MAN-power and the Squats provide the transportation.

...and yes the unit is considered CALVARY!!!

 admironheart wrote:
...and yes the unit is considered CALVARY!!!

...the hill that Jesus was crucified on? That would be a weird unit type.

Think is meaning a terrain piece - like the Mek shop :-)

Due to a spelling error, the army is designed as "Sistas of Battle". This is deemed wildly offensive and amid vigorous protests GW stock plummets. Wizards of the Coast buy the majority share and change their marketing strategy. No longer can you buy boxes with individual units for each army. The new method is expansion "packs" of "sets" of models. You buy a pack and get 5-10 infantry models for that set's armies or a super pack and get a random vehicle. Character packs and super packs get you characters in the same way.

 Brotherjanus wrote:
Due to a spelling error, the army is designed as "Sistas of Battle". This is deemed wildly offensive and amid vigorous protests GW stock plummets. Wizards of the Coast buy the majority share and change their marketing strategy. No long can you buy boxes with individual units for each army. The new method is expansion "packs" of "sets" of models. You buy a pack and get 5-10 infantry models for that set's armies or a super pack and get a random vehicle. Character packs and super packs get you characters in the same way.

Depending on how they price it, it may be better in the long run...

Besides, they already do this with the Space Marine Heroes set.

 Mmmpi wrote:

 Brotherjanus wrote:
Due to a spelling error, the army is designed as "Sistas of Battle". This is deemed wildly offensive and amid vigorous protests GW stock plummets. Wizards of the Coast buy the majority share and change their marketing strategy. No long can you buy boxes with individual units for each army. The new method is expansion "packs" of "sets" of models. You buy a pack and get 5-10 infantry models for that set's armies or a super pack and get a random vehicle. Character packs and super packs get you characters in the same way.

Depending on how they price it, it may be better in the long run...

Besides, they already do this with the Space Marine Heroes set.

Liar, we all know that there are only Primaris Leutnants!

83 - Like many recent releases Codex Sisters of Battle will be preceeded by a boardgame recreating one of the classic battles in SoB history. Massacre at Sanctuary 101 will pit a small force of Sisters against twice their number of Necrons. It will be the fairest and most balanced game since Lost Patrol.

84 - Sanctuary 101 will be followed by another boardgame focusing on the Sisters vs their arch enemies. Bloodtide will have a force of Sisters and a squad of Grey Knight terminators. Victory will be achieved by surrendering their pure blood as quickly as possible to coat the GK armor.

85 - Kev Walker, Jim Campbell will return to complete the story of Esphrael Stearn with Daemonifuge III- nah, too farfetched.

Turns out that the Emperor is actually a woman and the high lords of terra and primaris have been hiding this since the start of the Great Crusade. Alanis Morisette will henceforth do all the audio books.

I heard that the SoB model torso pieces have a separate brassiere.

 Dashofpepper wrote:
I heard that the SoB model torso pieces have a separate brassiere.

Some of them are chainmaile.

Repentias now completely removed due to negatively impacting female reprasentation. Replaced by selfflagelating missonaries, ofcourse half nude and whipped in shape by the same handler as before as to not completely invalidate the old model with whip.

GW will take on board all the feedback from the beta to correct the codex to release the most internally and externally balanced codex that all competitive players of all armies will forever exalt as the benchmark standard of codex and rules writing. It shall make faithful sisters players weep with joy and the demand for sisters will outstrip all other 40k sales to the point that sisters become the new face of 40k and put the final nail in old marine coffin.


White dwarf will feature a SoB battle report and a single collectors plastic sister model.


Chaos Black paint is being renamed Martyred Lady Black.


The collectors edition of the codex will contain a foreward by Jes Goodwyn in High Gothic. Will also come with a High Gothic translation lexicon so the uneducated may be enlightened by Jes' words, and players be able to properly condemn enemies.


Sisters flamers will have a 12" range.


Metal sister models will have their own unique kickarse dataslate entries.

96-The new plastic sisters will see a slight redesign, favoring sports bras, leopard skin pants and mohawks. The art will focus on the Order of Our Lady of the Sacred Elixer based in the underhives of Necromunda.

97. The new SoB model that was displayed is correct, but seemed to be misinterpreted by the fans. It is not actually a standard bearer, but rather the hull ornament of a new Ork tank.

#98. Reports of sex crimes skyrocket as socially inept gamers overwhelm hobby stores with their new armies of questionable miniatures. Their crude humor and sexist attitudes spill out onto the streets during pop and chip runs where inadvertently real women are encountered. Reportedly the most often used hate speech quoted by victims is some variation of 'nice bolters'...

I call BS - no gamer would ever voluntarily speak to a real woman.

100 - The codex will revile that Sisters wear wigs, under their trademark bobs they're actually bald with scalps covered in wires and connections for their armor. (I could have sworn that was canon but apparently it's something I made up)

101. Bittle of Sasters is currently in development and is expected to be released in 2019.