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Ladies and Gentlemen of the Dakka forums:
Which god of chaos, (were this possible) would you have as a drinking buddy and why? What pros/cons could there be to your "friendship?"
For all intents and purposes, we will assume the ruinous powers are not actually gods in this discussion, just humans that are exactly like their counterparts.

Here's how I see it for each God.

Khorne: Okay, so he'd be totally willing to fight for you, and as he's the god of war he'd be pretty handy at it. This should mean that nobody's gonna annoy you at the bar, and generally give you a wide berth, were it not for two things. Khorne doesn't care particularly about who he fights, so he'd stir stuff up with EVERYONE. This, as his buddy, could get you beaten up quite badly, especially as to Khorne any blood is welcome. Secondly, he may decide to fight you if things are too boring. That would not be fun.

Slaanesh: At first glance, Slaanesh might be considered ideal wingman material. He's charming, suave and very sophisticated when he wants to be, which can be an asset. However, just like Khorne, he will probably end up taking things too far. Indeed, it would be doubtful that even the girl you're hitting on would be safe, if the Dark Prince wants in on it. Essentially a bit of a in terms of his moral standards, and a pervert to boot.

Tzeench: My god, in any pub/bar quiz, having Tzeench on your team would make you unbeatable. You'd be GODS of the quiz world. But wait, where'd the prize money go? More to the point, how have I spent all that money in my wallet? Essentially, Tzeench would be the ultimate moocher, using all sorts of trickery and psychology to get you to buy his food and drinks for him. A very expensive friend to have, in my opinion.

Nurgle: Last, but by no means least, Papa Nurgle. Superficially, he appears the most undesirable drinking partner. He smells, has the worst breath in the world and looks like he enjoys rolling in sewage mixed with copies of Twilight. In short, there would be nobody in the place but you, him and the bravest barman to ever exist. But, and here's the clincher, Nurgle would be great company! He's a jovial, friendly guy, who'd always be there for you, never let you down and do his best to help you with the problems in his life. He'd be, in short, a Bro.

I picked Nurgle, but what about everyone else? Who would you pick?

whoa dude, I think you've answered your own question better than anyone could! that was just funny to read and so true, i was drinking with khorne the other week and he glassed me for nothing! so I went out the next night with slaanesh and woke up next to him...not cool for me 'cos Tzeentch was in my loungeroom taking my t.v while he'd already let nurgle in and he did the biggest reverse Kanga in the toilet i'd ever seen! so now i'm gonna just drink with the eldar 'cos I can drink them all under the bar! even if I drink light beer or chuck down a couple of shandy's!

Me and my space wolf brothers will drink you ALL under the table! when you wake up we will still be drinking,
DRINK WITH THE WOLVES

Not Nurgle because if I did pick him, I'd have to bring a rebreather and tell him it was prosribed..for some reason.. or something.. (JK) I can't stand people with a lack of hygiene.

Not Khorne because what kinda mate beats you up because he's bored? Not very friendly now, is it? Unless I was involved in some dodgy criminal dealings, which I'm not, then I'd prob pick him.

Not Slaanesh because he's (or maybe she's.. I know the fluff says it's a he, but...it IS Slaanesh, after all) such an epic perv, and would result in all girls (except a few sluts, perhaps) avoiding me whenever he's around, and I'd probably gain a reputation by being his mate.. a bad one..

I picked Tzeentch because while he can be annoying, and would probably be involved in a lot of aforementioned dogy dealings, and would probably get me involved in all that. Basically he'd probably use me to his expense (we've all seen enough movies to know what I'm on about).


Well, this is certainly hard. Khorne is also very psychotic, I think, and I'm certain he'd ride the homocide train and get off at bullet-to-the-head station.

Nurgle.. ugh.. only like-minded people would befriend him, I think.

Tzeentch.. don't trust that guy..


Slaanesh: if you'd asked me this about half a year ago, I might well have picked him. Infact, I actually would pick him! Yeah, as I said earlier, that instantly makes you guys think things about me.. but don't just think about the perverse side of him! He'd be a thrill-seeker, which means he could be a lot of fun, I think. In it for the kicks, screw everyone, and as long as he's havin' fun, he don't care. Yeah, I could have a friend like that. So what if he would make a helluva lot of comments to the girls that'd probably get him involved in a few fights and drive of all the girls, and he would also sluts and escorts around him all the time?

hahahha this is a great post. i would have to say nurgle would be the best in your description, but maybe slaanesh if you want a bit of the new in your drinking life, but yet again that new might be a bit too.... harmful and altering

Lord of battles wrote:Me and my space wolf brothers will drink you ALL under the table! when you wake up we will still be drinking,
DRINK WITH THE WOLVES

until DA arrive and drink wolves under table
this is the real reason why wolves dislike DA

Gorskar.da.Lost wrote:Ladies and Gentlemen of the Dakka forums:
Which god of chaos, (were this possible) would you have as a drinking buddy and why? What pros/cons could there be to your "friendship?"

Slaanesh..... of course....

And all the while I and my best buddy Nurgle sit in the corner, not bothered by anyone and having a good laugh.

devastator you are soooo wrong right about now 'cos i just walked in the door to witness lord of battles drink you into oblivion, then watch you pass out and wake up hungover while he still drinks until you sober up then he'll re-drink you back undeer the table! while our pal Gorskar sits laughing at you with Nurgle!

Gorskar.da.Lost wrote:And all the while I and my best buddy Nurgle sit in the corner, not bothered by anyone and having a good laugh.

"Hey, look at the fat smelly guy and his mate!"

"Friggin' 'ell, who ordered the epitome of obesity that emits dangerous toxins?"

"Yeah! And he smells.."



Not bashing "large" or fat people here. Only the fictional God of fat.

there is only one answer: slaanesh

Khorne kills you before you get to the bar, Tzeench insists on driving and takes you not to the bar, but to wherever the winds of chaos take you, and a night out on the town with nurgle will have you winding up the next day with an STD or twenty.

With slaanesh, you don't just paint the town red, you paint it pink.

TBH I'd go with Cregorach. Admitadly not a god of Chaos but still.

Pranks all round anybody? Chicks dig a funny dude.

I have a friend unfortunately that sounds JUST like the Khorne description..

So Nurgle is a friendly guy if you get past him spreading disease? I did not know that.

I think Tzeench would be a good one, as he could always trick the barkeep into giving you free stuff.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
So Nurgle is a friendly guy if you get past him spreading disease? I did not know that.

I think Tzeench would be a good one, as he could always trick the barkeep into giving you free stuff.
And changing a $1 bill into a $50? Pricelessly funny.

Nasty but funny tread.....

I would choose Khorne to drink with, as he is my bud and loves a good fight just as much as I do here is why....

Khorne: Lord of War....loves fighting, killing and all around chaos, drinking with him you know were you stand. If he dont like you or your not trying to start a fight with others, he kills you out right for not being worthy. Besides I like the color of Red and Brass these guys wear, not to mention no one wants to get up and close with a Bezerker.

Nurgle: Well I hate the fact that he is the plague lord and sitting with him will give you Nurgles Rot no matter how much protection you may have. The Ewwness of your body parts dropping off and you not dieing from in means you are never aloud in the bar in the first place. Plague Marine or not, your never a welcome sight.

Slannish: Hmmm he/she throws good parties and all, the only problem I would have have is STD's run rampade in this group and I dun want my Peter to fall off and be confused as a girl anytime soon. These people can be found in any bar I am sure. Everyone gets horny from time to time, just look under the sheets first before you play.

Tzeentch: Well these are freaks, in a bar people would be pointing at your mutations and wispering "Kill the Mutant" all the time, fights would break out, cops show up breaking it up and the cops kill the mutant just out of nessessity alone. Don't think I will be drinking with mutants any time soon not a very popular God with the authority people.

This could be a humor article under '40k humor'.

Khorne.
Just buy him a few bloody mary's and he'll be all good.

JSK-Fox wrote:Khorne.
Just buy him a few bloody mary's and he'll be all good.

Ah ha ha ha..

Wait, what did you mean by "bloody mary's" exactly? Oh my God..


I told you he'd go on the homocidal train..



Woohoo! We're killing 40k again!

well, mostly Khorne, why? well, that's the kind of buddie that will not let you alone in a fight, i must say i'm not a troubleseeker, but i'm always a bit "in alert" for some brawl possibilities, and i must confess i love the feeling of conflict, all those adrenalyne through my body...

seconded by Nurgle, why? all we know Nurgle's funny character, good thing to me, plague? smell? well, i have a strange resilience to illness... smell? weell well well i use to be clean, but for a testosterone excess in my body no matter how much soap i use and how many deodorant i put on myself, after 3-4 hours i will still clean, but with a hellish stench....

Slaanesh? Never! is that kind of guy that surely will get laid with all the ladies, zero options for me... not to mention he surely will be "looking" for me, an this really bothers me, sure he will end wit my old boot in his face...

Tzeentch.... surely not, untrustworthy people, surely he will give me problems.... better not

Khorne would be a problem. Having been out with a few cats that act like Kharn the Betrayer when they get a couple of pints in them I'd skip an evening out on the town with him.

I think the guy that would really be the best wingman would be Tzeentch. You could just point out random chicks in the bar and he could see the strands of fate that indicate which would be the most likely to let you hit it, thereby saving you a lot of time.

Monster Rain wrote:You could just point out random chicks in the bar and he could see the strands of fate that indicate which would be the most likely to let you hit it, thereby saving you a lot of time.

LoL. For an efficient night on the town, yeah I guess tzeench would be the way to go.

Tzeench: there, tap that one.

You: Thanks T-dawg!

Tzeench.Definitely not Khorne, no way.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
But I dont drink anymore

Monster Rain wrote:Khorne would be a problem. Having been out with a few cats that act like Kharn the Betrayer when they get a couple of pints in them I'd skip an evening out on the town with him.

I think the guy that would really be the best wingman would be Tzeentch. You could just point out random chicks in the bar and he could see the strands of fate that indicate which would be the most likely to let you hit it, thereby saving you a lot of time.

hey! i didn't thought this posssibility

Ailaros wrote:

Monster Rain wrote:You could just point out random chicks in the bar and he could see the strands of fate that indicate which would be the most likely to let you hit it, thereby saving you a lot of time.

LoL. For an efficient night on the town, yeah I guess tzeench would be the way to go.

Tzeench: there, tap that one.

You: Thanks T-dawg!

And immediately after:
Tzeench: now, about that pint...

You: Aw, c'mon, it's been my round for the last six-

Tzeench: *waves hand*

You: it's my round? Okay. What're you having?

Epic Thread.

My first choice would be the green twins of Gork & Mork...Constant bickering between them would be hilarity, quickly followed by randomness in truely awesome proportions.

But since that is not an option and I must pick from the four...

Neetch, my primary choice. The night would be full of exciting, random, and horrifying things. While I may have to cover a few drinks, a cream cheese hot dog or two, and obvioulsy pick him up from his apartment...the night would be completely legendary. I dare say Legendary Epic. He is just the kind of guy that would control the radio finding every good song, always have a flask full of exactly whatever you did and did not want to drink that was procured at all the best times, talk you out of your favorite bar to go to a place you have never been but once inside be blown away, good enough with the ladies to talk but bad and random enough to leave them with you, always knows the after party spot, and leaves you by your car mysteriously as the sun comes up without him in sight. You would not hear from him for upwards a week before a creepy text message appears at the most random times letting you know hes fine and that you missed out on whatever happened when he dissapeared.

Khorne would be the epitomy of an angry drunk. He has a few drinks and he'll be starting fights at every turn. You'd be kicked out of every bar you went to with him.

Slaanesh would essentially be a transvestite that's on a constant high from ecstasy. I'd rather not get a dose of surprise buttsecks on the dancefloor, thanks.

Tzeentch would be a total buzzkill. Where's the fun in getting drunk and doing stupid gak if he knows what's going to happen?

Nurgle would be the equivelent of taking a really fat smelly guy to a bar with you. Not to mention the exposed viscera and aura of disease.


None of them seem like ideal drinking buddies, but if I had to choose, I guess I'd go with Tzeentch despite the fact that Khorne is my favorite Chaos God. Also, as a benefit, he'd be the perfect wingman at a poker game or a casino.

I don't know. Khorne might get a couple drinks in him and mellow out. I could see him drinking a cosmo and smoking a virginia slim and sobbing about how misunderstood he is.

"They MADE me like this! It's the mortals' fault! I just want to have a good time, man, but they won't stop killing each other and it makes me more and more violent! If they'd mellow the feth out for five minutes I really wouldn't be such a bad guy! Hey bitch, get me another cosmo before I gut you like a trout!"

Monster Rain wrote:I don't know. Khorne might get a couple drinks in him and mellow out. I could see him drinking a cosmo and smoking a virginia slim and sobbing about how misunderstood he is.

"They MADE me like this! It's the mortals' fault! I just want to have a good time, man, but they won't stop killing each other and it makes me more and more violent! If they'd mellow the feth out for five minutes I really wouldn't be such a bad guy! Hey bitch, get me another cosmo before I gut you like a trout!"

I laughed so hard at this I hurt both myself and others.

either Khorne or Tzeentech

money can be gained, i can always fight

but getting STDs that is unknown in the world or waking up with a weird buzz seeing crapload of things you just beeded.....

no, no thanks

Retrias wrote:either Khorne or Tzeentech

money can be gained, i can always fight

but getting STDs that is unknown in the world or waking up with a weird buzz seeing crapload of things you just beeded.....

no, no thanks

Actually, Tzeench could be quite handy to have around when you end up on one of those fruit machines that are so popular in British pubs. I guess a share of the profits is worth the killing you'd make...