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Top News stories of the hour....

Donald Trump eyeing the White House for 2012.
A killing.
"Dancing with the Stars"
Death.
Royals Spend 30 million on Wedding...children continue to go hungry.
Woman "phones in" her taxicab kidnapping experience.
Clip of Obama DANCING at some summit meeting.
A stabbing.
Man shotguns TV after Bristol beats Brandy. Standoff against police.
Alchoholic/Caffeine beverage illegalised, after it "causes" college kid to kill himself. Mom says "I know it caused his death"....because she's an expert.
More Death.
More "Dancing with the Stars".
Charlie Sheen's latest drunken escapade.
Gov't floods the economy with more printed cash....because it helped so much last time.
Teen gets caught planning "columbine" style attack on school, pleads insanity.


Half of that crap doesnt qualify as News. The other half has you shaking your head at humanity.

Natural Disaster...
Alien Invasion...
Zombie Apocolypse...

Never was one of these things more needed than now.

... what are those from?

Here's CNN's list:

Myanmar's Suu Kyi unveils her vision
27 missing after New Zealand mine explosion
South Korea: Engaging North a failure
NATO to announce Afghan plans
Thais recover thousands of fetuses
Twitter CEO chides China for detention
Bodies of Ohio boy, women found
Barzee defends husband in Smart trial
Rutgers student's name on anti-bully bill
Parker Spitzer: Mortgage madness
TSA lists myths, facts about pat-downs
Missing F-22 pilot identified
No extension for jobless benefits
Miner rethinking marriage proposal
First planet found beyond galaxy
Ticker: Fox News chief's 'Nazi' apology
Holloways await tests, truth | Initial tests: Bone is that of human
Russell Brand talks wedding details
'Teen Mom' star charged with felonies
When, where will royal couple wed?
Man finds 'f*** you' on food receipt
Century's most powerful women


While sure, there's a lot of worthless trash here-- this includes the entertainment section which franly is worst part of any news agency-- there's also a lot of global affairs as well.

Queue the reason why having a 24-hour news channel makes it suck so hard.