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THE PURIFICATORS
Name : The purificators

Chapter Master: Raviel

Founding chapter: Black templars

Primarch: Rogal Dorn

Homeworld: Nonexistent, Fleet based nature

Current strenght: 200, Due to the huge amount of recruiting worlds they have they always have a large amount of willing and able warriors to choose from. But the limitation is that they never have enough gene seed so they finalist places are very limited and only three to five worlds will be recruited from at a time.


RECRUITING METHODS AND TRIALS OF INITIATION


The Purificators recruit from any worlds, Upon travelling by a world the Purificators will leave arenas where those who to be serve to the emperor will participate in fist fights, where the candidates will fight one on one until one of them concedes or rendered unconscious. This will continue until only the most powerful remain, winner being given up to a day to recover between fights. They will then fight against each other. Even the finalists who lost are taken, their final battle there only to show them where they stand and to make them strive to improve themselves. They will then be tested for purity, willpower and intelligence as befits the codex astartes. There are academies on each world were retired space marines teach any willing youths in the ways of battle, mainly in fighting but shooting and strategy are also covered. While those who have not won the challenge of the arena will never become space marines, as it will be years before the world is recruited from again, they provide exemplary cadets for the local imperial guard recruiting academies when they become older.

But there is a darker truth, for these are not the ones who will serve the emperor as space marines. They will be trained to be on the peak of physical fitness, having a steady diet of growth steroids, muscle injections and other biological enchancements. This will make them almost as mighty as space marines, but marines they are not to become. Their blood is sampled at the peak of their power, shortly after which many die of strain and constant and unnatural metobolism increases. Those that survive slowly lose their superhuman strenght, their bodies stopping the constant growth as a self survival precaution. Even so however they still retain incredible strenght , intelligence and faith in the emperor and are shipped out to be enlisted as inquisitional storm troopers.

The samples taken are then used to clone the individuals, stabelising and enchancing the embreos as they develop, their brains infused with the holiest of images. The result are 13 year olds with incredible strenght, and an indestructible faith in the emperor. These are the ones that will recieve the chapters gene seed to become the greatest of possible space marines...



CHAPTER MASTER RAVIEL

Raviel is a cunning tactician and powerful warrior. He was one of the very first Purificators and was elected chapter master due to his tactical acumen, but he knew that he was by far not the best warrior in the chapter and considers himself impure for this. He knows that if he was to be taken as a space marine by the strict methods he uses to recruit, he would have never been a space marine. Because of this he constantly strives to improve and become a greater warrior than any in his chapter. While not the most powerful brawler he is unmatched at his swordplay and very few can shoot as accurately. In battle he wears his personalised artificer armor, wielding his relic blade, Reaver. His sidearm varies, but is usually a combi melta. Raviel prefers to lead vanguard veteran squads, falling from the sky and deliviring swift death.

GENE SEED MUTATIONS


THE HOLY RAGE: Due to the way they are created and raised, the warriors of the chapter will enter an impossible state of fury upon seeing the traitor, alien and heretic. In their rage they may achieve impossible states of slaughter, ripping enemies limb from limb and ignoring all wounds completely. But while it makes them incredible warriors, it may force individuals
into mistakes such as emptying an entire clip into an enemy corpse, dropping their weapons to run at the enemy, or storm an indomidable fortress without remembering their weapons.

This is a double edged sword. The Holy rage makes them immune to heresy or betrayal, gives them a rage and power that even traitor marines may feel the tang of fear to fight them.
But makes them prone to misimbalances as stated earlier. They counter such mistakes by training constant discipline of will. Seargents , captains and chaplains are all who have maintaind complete control over their rage and have learned to point it in the right direction, allowing them to lead their brothers with the huge respect they hold.

THE INDOMIDABLE WILL: Due to their iron bodies and unflinching faith, warriors of the chapter feel no pain and are completely fearless.

THE ART OF REPLICAE

The methods of cloning known as "replicae" used by Angels of Purity has been used previously by other chapters to return to fighting strenght after near annihalation and all had faced disastarous results. The replica battle brothers would develop mutation's, gene flaws and mental instability at speedy rates.

The Purificators needed to increase their fighting strenght and where load to let the galaxy rot while they developed their strenght over the years and began to perfect the crude knowledge of replicae know to the imperium. The first results where abominations, monsters of incredible power but no will of tought. In disgust chapter master Raviel sent them to the surface of a world devoured by tyranids and in the proess of being eaten of all its life. To his surprise the few hundred abominations felled a fearsome chunk of the tyranids before being killed, each reaping a tally giant even for a space marine.

Interested Raviel began to do more than clone, he began to alter. Slowly his expiraments bore fruit and stable clones where developed with slight increases in strenght, speed and zeal. Thus the present Angels of purity are small in number, yet powerful. Every day new clones are raised that are stronger, faster and more powerful than the current battle brothers. The only thing that stops Raviel from multiplying the chapter sixty fold in a year is the gaze of the inquisition, still slow rates of embreo growth and careful testing of the current results before the creation of others (as well as the admitidely high rate of casualties the Angels suffer when they end up destroying the enemies who outnumber them vastly rather then retreating).

Well some elements are Mary Sue(numbers) and otherwise it could look good if fleshed out well.

Forgive my limited vocabulary but what on earth does mary sue mean?

What would you suggest i flesh out?

thanks for the about 3 minutes since posted reply!

Malice wrote:Forgive my limited vocabulary but what on earth does mary sue mean?

What would you suggest i flesh out?

thanks for the about 3 minutes since posted reply!

Mary Sue means too much or some thing that is basically perfect compared to other things.
Fleshed out means that you write.

Well i know what fleshed out means, i meant what would you suggest i flesh out on?

Malice wrote:Well i know what fleshed out means, i meant what would you suggest i flesh out on?

Well as any writer writting story set in 40k try to be consistent.

I looked at ur chapter and i think ill start by writing out Raviels weaponry. Also ill add a famous battle but not today, probably tommorow

Malice wrote:I looked at ur chapter and i think ill start by writing out Raviels weaponry. Also ill add a famous battle but not today, probably tommorow

Well forget my chapter,it's badly written and that is because in those days I wasn't 40k fluff expert as I am now.

Oh dam! I forgot to upload a pic, ill do so right now



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There we go, my lovely black and red colors!


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and there goes chapter master Raviel's weaponry

Malice wrote:Forgive my limited vocabulary but what on earth does mary sue mean?

What would you suggest i flesh out?

thanks for the about 3 minutes since posted reply!

Contrary to what IvanTih says:

"Mary-Sue" is the concept primarily functioning as a wish-fulfillment fantasy for the author or reader.
The author may seem to push how exceptional and wonderful the "Mary Sue" character is on his or her audience, sometimes leading the audience to dislike or even resent the character fairly quickly; such a character could be described as an "author's pet".

The term originates from a 1970s Star Trek fan-fiction story (which if you think BL books are bad, you should read. They make BL look like Shakespeare - hell, they make CS Goto's rantings look like Bacon).

As to "purifactors" ...
What kind of made up word is that? Not even an American on Judge Judy would make up a word that bad. It's as bad a name as [insert noun]Angels or [insert noun]Warriors and just as derivative and inane.

chromedog wrote:As to "purifactors" ...
What kind of made up word is that? Not even an American on Judge Judy would make up a word that bad. It's as bad a name as [insert noun]Angels or [insert noun]Warriors and just as derivative and inane.

Well actually you spelt it incorrectly and the name used by the OP is actually a real word, to do with religion, which under the circumstances of a chapter trying to redeem itself for its self percieved failings it seems relatively fitting.

its suprising how useful a dictionary is.

Meh.

Purificators/purifactors.

Still a lame name. On par with Blood Angels.

On that note: I'm out of the fluff section for good.

Trek fan fiction is more logical and less full of mary sue.

Well its suprising that superhuman, well trained, hypnotically conditioned warriors are 'mary sue'.

Oh wait its not, it maybe better if you looked stuff up before trying to belittle people.

This is a nerd forum.

Belittling them is what EVERYONE does.

Even nerds have a hierarchy (with cosplayers & magic players at the bottom).

:-P

I thought the difference with dakkadakka was that that people were at least curtious to other members and at least had some backing to their ranting, it turns out the dictionary website isn't that hard to find.

back on topic:

1600 is a bit of a large number and doesn't mesh with them being a newly founded chapter and having a limited amount of Geneseed. a chapter that has existed for a thousand years could easily get to 1600 members, but not a new one. either make your chapter older or reduce your numbers below 1k(prehaps 500?)

my Chapter is at 5000 marines, but the chapter is over 8k years old and is spread out over a large area like the BTs(and each company is at 500 strong) and so they need more marines.

i assume you are playing with the BT codex(hence the large numbers)


your Tactics: this is a little confusing. basically all marines do those things. a better tactic description would be, "They use Drop Pods almost exclusivly for their initial assaults and often will return to their ships in order to drop down again. when they don't use drop pods they rely on Rhinos and Thunderhawks to engage in lightining fast strikes aimed at vulnerable part of the enemy lines with the intent of catching the enemy in CC"

the Recruiting method is good. could use a little more grimdarkess. by that i mean, the losers shouldn't be taken, and the fights should be extreamly violent(possability of death)


Chapter master fluff is good a personality quirk and a feeling of personal failing.

Grey Templar wrote:back on topic:

1600 is a bit of a large number and doesn't mesh with them being a newly founded chapter and having a limited amount of Geneseed. a chapter that has existed for a thousand years could easily get to 1600 members, but not a new one. either make your chapter older or reduce your numbers below 1k(prehaps 500?)

my Chapter is at 5000 marines, but the chapter is over 8k years old and is spread out over a large area like the BTs(and each company is at 500 strong) and so they need more marines.

I think he was including neophytes, not just space marines, but for a chapter following the BTs format 5000 marines is about right for an established chapter.

I don't think the founding chapter being the Black Templars makes sense. First, the Black Templars are descended from the Imperial Fists. Second, the Black Templars don;t really do successor chapters. They just make new crusades under the Black Templars banner.

Commander Endova wrote:First, the Black Templars are descended from the Imperial Fists. Second, the Black Templars don;t really do successor chapters. They just make new crusades under the Black Templars banner.

New chapters are not formed like those during the 2nd founding, the do not 'bud off' from a parent chapter, new chapters are made on Mars using the geneseed vault. So it is perfectly believable that the chapter could be a successor of the Black Templar. Add to this that geneseed has tiny genetic change over generations it means that the Black Templar geneseed would be different to the Imperial Fists.

Ok, Purificators might not sound good to you but i love the name and no way will i drop it.

Grey templar, I agree with you and will drop number, but such a huge chapter such as yours would not be included in sm fluff so maybe drop that a bit (about 4000 . As for the initiation methods, iv always tought of them as full of camaderie, also they strive to improve the weaker to become strong for they knoiw that a man, no matter how mighty, will always be faced with someone stronger and as such all he should do is improve constantly.


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iv tought and decided that i whont drop the number, considering they are a new founding with not too much battle there isnt much to diminish their numbers

Purificator or purifier? Also, I believe the Black Templars are a second founding chapter. Their numbers would have to be slashed to dangerously low numbers to found again.

Malice wrote:Ok, Purificators might not sound good to you but i love the name and no way will i drop it.

Grey templar, I agree with you and will drop number, but such a huge chapter such as yours would not be included in sm fluff so maybe drop that a bit (about 4000 . As for the initiation methods, iv always tought of them as full of camaderie, also they strive to improve the weaker to become strong for they knoiw that a man, no matter how mighty, will always be faced with someone stronger and as such all he should do is improve constantly.


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iv tought and decided that i whont drop the number, considering they are a new founding with not too much battle there isnt much to diminish their numbers

i won't be dropping my number(it works with my fluff)


the reason i objected to yours was because a new chapter wouldn't have had the time to get up to 1600 marines.

it takes a minimum of 10-15 years to make a space marine and a chapter would only start with 20-30 if it's lucky.

there is also the attrition rate of initiates. only 4 out of every 100 aspirants is usually chosen to even be considered.

out of that 4%, around 80% will die in training or either overwork or Geneseed/implant incompatability.

it takes around 100 aspirants to get 1-2 Space Marines on a good day.

and a chapter is limited in the number of aspirants it can consider. in Sons of Dorn there weren't more then a few hundred aspirants for the Impieriel Fists and only 10 made it to be battle brothers.


a new chapter probably could handle more then 100 or so. if they got a full squad out of those 100 it would be lucky.


so 15 years from founding your chapter could have 10 new marines. each year thereafter, assuming 10 new marines each year for 100 years would see your chapter becomeing 1000 strong. this asumes no casualities are taken in this time.

we could assume the number of initiates your chapter is able to take increases by a small number each year. i will do a formula later

Draglide12 wrote:Purificator or purifier? Also, I believe the Black Templars are a second founding chapter. Their numbers would have to be slashed to dangerously low numbers to found again.

Index Astartes: Black Templars

There usually numbers three or mare Crusades at any one time - their history shows that during the Treachery of Dalmark there were as many as fourteen Crusades fighting across the Segmentum Solar. The size оf a Crusade can also vary widely, sometimes as few as fifty to one hundred Marines, sometimes the equivalent of several Companies from a Codex Chapter. Only the Black Templars themselves have even the roughest idea how many Black Templars Space Mannes there are, but it is obvious that they are far more numerous man most conventional Chapters, although dispersed over a much wider area.

Apparently it's also bought the attention of the Inquisition due to the number of Marines that the Black Templars have, flaunting the doctrine of the Codex Astartes, much like the Space Wolves.

Ok, this is what ill do, the inquisition has become tired of its worries about the black templar number and ordered a mass contribution of gene seed, this allowed them to make a full 1000 number chapter.

now iv tought even more and should i change the name? Does it soud bad?

BluntmanDC wrote:

Commander Endova wrote:First, the Black Templars are descended from the Imperial Fists. Second, the Black Templars don;t really do successor chapters. They just make new crusades under the Black Templars banner.

New chapters are not formed like those during the 2nd founding, the do not 'bud off' from a parent chapter, new chapters are made on Mars using the geneseed vault. So it is perfectly believable that the chapter could be a successor of the Black Templar. Add to this that geneseed has tiny genetic change over generations it means that the Black Templar geneseed would be different to the Imperial Fists.

No gak. But when gene-stock is collected, it is lumped together by primarch, not chapter. It is however, first tested for purity. There is nothing to suggest that the Black Templars gene-seed has mutated, and if it had, it would surely be seen as some mark of taint. Geneseeds do not mutate without cause, especially not one as pure and stable as Dorns. When it comes time to make a new chapter, a Primarch's Geneseed is selected, and the Chapter is founded.

However, the amount of geneseed tithe the Black Templars send back to Mars is debatable. The amount of Battle Brothers under their banner suggests they send very little, if any, which would make it difficult to spawn a new chapter from their reserves, even if all of Rogal Dorn's gene seed wasn't exactly the same. This certainly has made the Inquisition suspicious of the chapter.

Commander Endova wrote:

BluntmanDC wrote:

Commander Endova wrote:First, the Black Templars are descended from the Imperial Fists. Second, the Black Templars don;t really do successor chapters. They just make new crusades under the Black Templars banner.

New chapters are not formed like those during the 2nd founding, the do not 'bud off' from a parent chapter, new chapters are made on Mars using the geneseed vault. So it is perfectly believable that the chapter could be a successor of the Black Templar. Add to this that geneseed has tiny genetic change over generations it means that the Black Templar geneseed would be different to the Imperial Fists.

1. it is lumped together by primarch, not chapter. 2. There is nothing to suggest that the Black Templars gene-seed has mutated, and if it had, it would surely be seen as some mark of taint(3.). Geneseeds do not mutate without cause, especially not one as pure and stable as Dorns. 4. a Primarch's Geneseed is selected, and the Chapter is founded.

5. the amount of geneseed tithe the Black Templars send back to Mars is debatable. The amount of Battle Brothers under their banner suggests they send very little, if any

1. source please.
2. the imperial fists, rogal dorn's chapter has a geneseed mutation, they are missing the Missing Betcher's Gland and Sus-an Membrane. succesor chapters can have different geneseeds to their parent chapter e.g. the flesh tearers geneseed mutation is alot more prominent than the blood angels.
3.lots of chapters, even the oldest and most loyal, have minor geneseed issues.
4. sourse please.
5. more marines more geneseed, each chapter has to give 5% or they get hounded until they do, so the black templars in theory give more geneseed than others.

Commander Endova wrote:
No gak. But when gene-stock is collected, it is lumped together by primarch, not chapter. It is however, first tested for purity. There is nothing to suggest that the Black Templars gene-seed has mutated, and if it had, it would surely be seen as some mark of taint. Geneseeds do not mutate without cause, especially not one as pure and stable as Dorns. When it comes time to make a new chapter, a Primarch's Geneseed is selected, and the Chapter is founded.

FOUNDING NEW CHAPTERS
According to their charter, each Chapter is obliged to send 5% of its genetic material to the Adeptus Mechanicus on Mars. This 'tithe' has two purposes. Firstly, it enables the Adeptus Mechanicus to monitor the health of each Marine Chapter. Secondly, it enables the Adeptus Mechanicus to store gene-seed with a view to founding new Chapters.

Not all Chapters know who there Primarch is so I think that's not quite right. That quote from the old GW site would suggest that it is by Chapter and not by Primarch.

The Imperial Fists do not suffer themselves suffer mutated gene seed but some chapters do

In some Chapters, mutation of gene-seed, poor surgical procedure, or inadequate post-operative conditioning, has twisted the functioning of implants. For example, the omophagea gene-seed of the Blood Drinkers has mutated so that all Blood Drinkers have an unnatural craving for blood. In other Chapters individual organs are either useless or absent altogether.

Another extreme example of gene-seed deterioration can be found in the Black Dragons Chapter, whose ossmodula implant functions in an abnormal way. This leads to the growth of bony crests on the head, and blade-like protuberances from the forearm and elbow.

On the fists

The Imperial Fists gene-seed is very stable and has never exhibited signs of mutation. They have, however, lost the use of some of the more minor genetic enhancements of the Space Marines. Specifically they no longer possess the sus-an membrane that allows the Space Marine to enter a state of suspended animation. Neither do they have a Betchers gland, which allows a Space Marine to spit corrosive poison at a foe.

"Do we bemoan such losses? No! We are the Fists! We do not need to hibernate or spit venom. We crush our enemies!"
- Teachings of Rhetoricus

BluntmanDC wrote:dammit

Curse you Bluntman!

As to the 2 in 100 aspirants becoming marines: Pre-heresy Dark angels produced new marines at a prodigial rate. After the Lion essentially exiled Luther and half of his chapter back to Caliban all they could do was find ways to streamline and improve the training process. I think using some of their methods and chater could grow to fruition quite rapidly.

Mostif not all chaptersknow whotheir primarch is.
The AdMech do keep lables on thing they don't just hand out gene-seed randomly they know exactly which gene-seed comes from who.
The Blood Ravens (Who don't know who their primarchs is)
have a large hole in their fluff due to this since the AdMech could just test their gene-seed and find out.

purplefood wrote:Mostif not all chaptersknow whotheir primarch is.
The AdMech do keep lables on thing they don't just hand out gene-seed randomly they know exactly which gene-seed comes from who.
The Blood Ravens (Who don't know who their primarchs is)
have a large hole in their fluff due to this since the AdMech could just test their gene-seed and find out.

Kinda also backs up how traitor geneseed could have been used in the 21st Founding