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About two months ago my closest and oldest friend, whom I've known for over 5 years, met her biological mother for the first time. About half a month after that she broke up with her boyfriend and moved in with her biological mom in another state. She then ran off with another guy, who she had sex with a few months before (she told me), back when her boyfriend and her temporarily broke up. The guy she ran off with was also her boyfriend for her sophomore year of high school, but that was many years ago.

So, she moved in with her bio mom for a bit, and there was some confusion as to what was going on, so I called her to see if she was okay. We talked for a long while, she told me everything and why she did what she did, and told me that she's glad she's had me as a friend through everything. A few days later she then told me and all of her other friends that she was going to start her life over and that she didn't want anyone or anything from her old life anymore. So she created a new Facebook, blocked everyone (including me and her ex-boyfriend), and got a new cell phone.

Now today she just came flying back into my life all of a sudden. Or rather, she flew back into her ex-boyfriend's life again, the one she had been living with for over two years. So he broke up with his new girlfriend and got back with her. But guess what, she won't talk to me. She didn't unblock me on Facebook. After everything I've done for her, I was always the one who was there for her whenever she needed help or advice. I was the one who was the one who offered her a place to stay when nobody else would, without questioning her. I was the one who supported her for the last several years and was her best friend. I was the one who accepted her with open arms and didn't think of her any differently when she told me about the sexual fetishes she's into. I did everything for this woman, and she won't even give me the time of day.

I feel like I've been used, played, disrespected, abandoned, and betrayed. I've always been a good friend and always been the one she'd talk to and confide in. I honestly find it hard to believe that she had it in her to do all of this to me as it is. I guess you never truly know someone, do you? Could someone please give me some advice on what to do.

samusaran253 wrote:About two months ago my closest and oldest friend, whom I've known for over 5 years, met her biological mother for the first time. About half a month after that she broke up with her boyfriend and moved in with her biological mom in another state. She then ran off with another guy, who she had sex with a few months before (she told me), back when her boyfriend and her temporarily broke up. The guy she ran off with was also her boyfriend for her sophomore year of high school, but that was many years ago.

So, she moved in with her bio mom for a bit, and there was some confusion as to what was going on, so I called her to see if she was okay. We talked for a long while, she told me everything and why she did what she did, and told me that she's glad she's had me as a friend through everything. A few days later she then told me and all of her other friends that she was going to start her life over and that she didn't want anyone or anything from her old life anymore. So she created a new Facebook, blocked everyone (including me and her ex-boyfriend), and got a new cell phone.

Now today she just came flying back into my life all of a sudden. Or rather, she flew back into her ex-boyfriend's life again, the one she had been living with for over two years. So he broke up with his new girlfriend and got back with her. But guess what, she won't talk to me. She didn't unblock me on Facebook. After everything I've done for her, I was always the one who was there for her whenever she needed help or advice. I was the one who was the one who offered her a place to stay when nobody else would, without questioning her. I was the one who supported her for the last several years and was her best friend. I was the one who accepted her with open arms and didn't think of her any differently when she told me about the sexual fetishes she's into. I did everything for this woman, and she won't even give me the time of day.

I feel like I've been used, played, disrespected, abandoned, and betrayed. I've always been a good friend and always been the one she'd talk to and confide in. I honestly find it hard to believe that she had it in her to do all of this to me as it is. I guess you never truly know someone, do you? Could someone please give me some advice on what to do.

Judging by some of your other posts I'm going to say that she's probably into guys who are little more mature.

My advice?



Doesn't seem like there's much you can do about it. Move on. Find other friends.

The whole "start a new life and cut off all my friends" thing sounded like she had joined a cult, but I read on and I guess that isn't the case. Maybe she's a bit fickle, or just flaky. I'd move on if I were you, you can't do much about it.

Doesn't sound like she was a good friend anyways. She will just drag you along forever. 3 or 4 years from now she will show up on your door step probably hooked on drugs and wanting a place to stay. Move on and don't look back. Don't try and patch things up when she wants too. Trust me, she will only use you. True friends would never treat you like that.

Ok, as someone who has had three best friends, one of them turned into an donkey-cave jock, the second one following said donkey-cave and sniffing him whenever possible, and the third one being the type who only "likes" you when your around them, let me say this;

You don't need someone like that around you. Stop trying to get back into contact with her, she ain't interested. If you were truely as big of a help to her as you say, let her world crash down upon her, and then make the choice when she finaly comes back to you; Are you willing to help the type of person who act like you don't matter, or are you willing to let her live with the consequences of her actions?

One of two things is going to happen; She is going to come running back into your arms, or you are never going to see her again.

If it's the later, you never meant as much as you thought you did to her.

If it's the first, it will be up to you to decide if you want to be someone's "Second Choice".



Personally, if she ran to me, I would laugh at her face. But then again, I'm a sad, lonely angry a-hole, too.

Agreed, justget over it (apologies if that soudned harsh ) Clearly not worth your time and effort if she's not wanting anything to do with you and good riddence is all I would say

My best mate of 6 years ditched me out of the blue. It taught me a valuable lesson: She may be your best friend in the world, but that doesn't mean you're hers...
Unfortunately, the only way to go is forward, as others have said. Find new friends. If she comes back, be civil, polite, but thats it. Shes ditched you once, and that tells you everything you need to know about what she thinks of you.

Had similar situations in the past; NEXT is about your only option here. If she does try to come back later, make her do degrading things. I'm not even joking, make her beg on her knees with someone else in line of sight and earshot. If she does it and cries, then give her another shot.

CadianXV wrote:She may be your best friend in the world, but that doesn't mean you're hers...

+1

Life is very subjective and we as humans tend to idealize and romanticize our relationships with others.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Had similar situations in the past; NEXT is about your only option here. If she does try to come back later, make her do degrading things. I'm not even joking, make her beg on her knees with someone else in line of sight and earshot. If she does it and cries, then give her another shot.

That is cruel and I wholeheartidly approve.

Slarg232 wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Had similar situations in the past; NEXT is about your only option here. If she does try to come back later, make her do degrading things. I'm not even joking, make her beg on her knees with someone else in line of sight and earshot. If she does it and cries, then give her another shot.

That is cruel and I wholeheartidly approve.

Or you could just not be her friend any more and avoid the power games thing.

Life's a beach. Get sand kicked in your eyes and then you cry.

First thing to do is dump that avatar.

Next is to bite the bullet as has been said.
Man she has jumped from one person to the next like a flibberttegib on a hot tin roof. She is not coming across well in how she treats people and you just happen to be next in line for the big E treatment.

Kudos to you for having loyalty and the sensitivity to be hurt. However, the pattern she has set shows she will come back and then dump on you then bugger off all over again.
She is not likely to change from this behaviour.
Personally I would advise you to listen to what the others have been saying, though it will be hard for you cos you seem a decent kid and it will hurt like hell, but time to bite the bullet, wash hands, mix metaphors and move on.

Cheesecat wrote:

samusaran253 wrote:About two months ago my closest and oldest friend, whom I've known for over 5 years, met her biological mother for the first time. About half a month after that she broke up with her boyfriend and moved in with her biological mom in another state. She then ran off with another guy, who she had sex with a few months before (she told me), back when her boyfriend and her temporarily broke up. The guy she ran off with was also her boyfriend for her sophomore year of high school, but that was many years ago.

So, she moved in with her bio mom for a bit, and there was some confusion as to what was going on, so I called her to see if she was okay. We talked for a long while, she told me everything and why she did what she did, and told me that she's glad she's had me as a friend through everything. A few days later she then told me and all of her other friends that she was going to start her life over and that she didn't want anyone or anything from her old life anymore. So she created a new Facebook, blocked everyone (including me and her ex-boyfriend), and got a new cell phone.

Now today she just came flying back into my life all of a sudden. Or rather, she flew back into her ex-boyfriend's life again, the one she had been living with for over two years. So he broke up with his new girlfriend and got back with her. But guess what, she won't talk to me. She didn't unblock me on Facebook. After everything I've done for her, I was always the one who was there for her whenever she needed help or advice. I was the one who was the one who offered her a place to stay when nobody else would, without questioning her. I was the one who supported her for the last several years and was her best friend. I was the one who accepted her with open arms and didn't think of her any differently when she told me about the sexual fetishes she's into. I did everything for this woman, and she won't even give me the time of day.

I feel like I've been used, played, disrespected, abandoned, and betrayed. I've always been a good friend and always been the one she'd talk to and confide in. I honestly find it hard to believe that she had it in her to do all of this to me as it is. I guess you never truly know someone, do you? Could someone please give me some advice on what to do.

Judging by some of your other posts I'm going to say that she's probably into guys who are little more mature.

Which is why she's an adult who has been alternating between the same three guys since she was 13?

samusaran253 wrote:Which is why she's an adult who has been alternating between the same three guys since she was 13?

Wait, wait wait.....


She's been doing this for how long?

And you DIDN'T expect this?

As they say on the interwebz, eff that bitch.

samusaran253 wrote:

Cheesecat wrote:

samusaran253 wrote:About two months ago my closest and oldest friend, whom I've known for over 5 years, met her biological mother for the first time. About half a month after that she broke up with her boyfriend and moved in with her biological mom in another state. She then ran off with another guy, who she had sex with a few months before (she told me), back when her boyfriend and her temporarily broke up. The guy she ran off with was also her boyfriend for her sophomore year of high school, but that was many years ago.

So, she moved in with her bio mom for a bit, and there was some confusion as to what was going on, so I called her to see if she was okay. We talked for a long while, she told me everything and why she did what she did, and told me that she's glad she's had me as a friend through everything. A few days later she then told me and all of her other friends that she was going to start her life over and that she didn't want anyone or anything from her old life anymore. So she created a new Facebook, blocked everyone (including me and her ex-boyfriend), and got a new cell phone.

Now today she just came flying back into my life all of a sudden. Or rather, she flew back into her ex-boyfriend's life again, the one she had been living with for over two years. So he broke up with his new girlfriend and got back with her. But guess what, she won't talk to me. She didn't unblock me on Facebook. After everything I've done for her, I was always the one who was there for her whenever she needed help or advice. I was the one who was the one who offered her a place to stay when nobody else would, without questioning her. I was the one who supported her for the last several years and was her best friend. I was the one who accepted her with open arms and didn't think of her any differently when she told me about the sexual fetishes she's into. I did everything for this woman, and she won't even give me the time of day.

I feel like I've been used, played, disrespected, abandoned, and betrayed. I've always been a good friend and always been the one she'd talk to and confide in. I honestly find it hard to believe that she had it in her to do all of this to me as it is. I guess you never truly know someone, do you? Could someone please give me some advice on what to do.

Judging by some of your other posts I'm going to say that she's probably into guys who are little more mature.

Which is why she's an adult who has been alternating between the same three guys since she was 13?

Three guys? I thought I was the only one.

Hmm...I like the avatar...

But seriously, forget this chick mate, friends are supposed to be there for you as much as you are for them. Either that or you accept that you don't get the same thing in return from the beginning.

Forget her, buy another army and move on, I've had lots of best friends over the years and the older I get the more I realise that friendships arent always permenant.

Take a valuable lesson about giving too much of yourself away from this friendship and use that lesson to enrich your own, or someones life in the future.

If reciprocity was never part of your relationship it probably never will be. She doesn't exactly sound stable from your brief description. I've had a few "friends" in my time who've had the "move somewhere no one knows" fantasy and the common personality trait they all shared was they procrastinated and always ran from any responsibility. The escape fantasy is a manifestation of their subconscious guilt, they know somewhere deep down it really isn’t everyone else’s fault. Some actually fallowed through and moved away and I never heard from them again, the others are selfish drug addicts with severe trust issues living in social housing or enduring failed relationships.

It’s easy for us (the internet) to be indifferent to your plight and rightfully so, we don’t know you and I’d like to put forward the theory that this person you considered a good friend may also not truly know you. It’s easy for us to just say “move on, get over it” but obviously the reality of your situation isn’t logical as it appears to us, it’s emotional. I would suggest discussing it with others who you trust and if that’s not the option consider some form of therapy. Talking about just about anything will in time aid in dealing with the emotional impact of this “betrayal”. I would just put forward the idea that doing it anonymously on the internet is not the best course of action and the indifference you're likely to find will not help you feel better.

If you didn't see this coming then I suggest you avoid all traffic areas as you just might miss something speeding at you a mile away.

People do this, its human nature. You're only around as long as your useful and amusing, once you stop providing something you're out. The idea of a best friend is laughable, people stab each other in the back or abandon them as soon as they get a whim, all history goes out the door.. Don't take this as me being apathetic to you or anything, its happened repeatedly to me for no reason that I could fathom and no reason was offered with or without request, so I know where you're coming from to a point.

samusaran253 wrote:About two months ago my closest and oldest friend, whom I've known for over 5 years, met her biological mother for the first time. About half a month after that she broke up with her boyfriend and moved in with her biological mom in another state. She then ran off with another guy, who she had sex with a few months before (she told me), back when her boyfriend and her temporarily broke up. The guy she ran off with was also her boyfriend for her sophomore year of high school, but that was many years ago.

So, she moved in with her bio mom for a bit, and there was some confusion as to what was going on, so I called her to see if she was okay. We talked for a long while, she told me everything and why she did what she did, and told me that she's glad she's had me as a friend through everything. A few days later she then told me and all of her other friends that she was going to start her life over and that she didn't want anyone or anything from her old life anymore. So she created a new Facebook, blocked everyone (including me and her ex-boyfriend), and got a new cell phone.

Now today she just came flying back into my life all of a sudden. Or rather, she flew back into her ex-boyfriend's life again, the one she had been living with for over two years. So he broke up with his new girlfriend and got back with her. But guess what, she won't talk to me. She didn't unblock me on Facebook. After everything I've done for her, I was always the one who was there for her whenever she needed help or advice. I was the one who was the one who offered her a place to stay when nobody else would, without questioning her. I was the one who supported her for the last several years and was her best friend. I was the one who accepted her with open arms and didn't think of her any differently when she told me about the sexual fetishes she's into. I did everything for this woman, and she won't even give me the time of day.

I feel like I've been used, played, disrespected, abandoned, and betrayed. I've always been a good friend and always been the one she'd talk to and confide in. I honestly find it hard to believe that she had it in her to do all of this to me as it is. I guess you never truly know someone, do you? Could someone please give me some advice on what to do.

You've just taken your first step into a larger universe. Trust no one, believe nothing.
"I've always been a good friend and always been the one she'd talk to and confide in. I honestly find it hard to believe that she had it in her to do all of this to me as it is. I guess you never truly know someone, do you? Could someone please give me some advice on what to do."
You're a guy right? Lets be honest, you probably wanted to get into her pants at some time and put up with that. That was your mistake. In the future when women do that nonsense, you tell them save the drama for you mama, I don't care. Men don't care-we're simple neanderthals remember!

Ignore her utterly. If you ever see her with this friend of yours act as if she's utterly invisible. Don't worry she sounds like an absolute wack job.
Or you can go old school LA. Tell your chola girl friend. She'll cut her for you.

Get her pregnant.

rubiksnoob wrote:Get her pregnant.

This is an awesome idea.

Worst case scenario: You still got laid.

biccat wrote:

rubiksnoob wrote:Get her pregnant.

This is an awesome idea.

Worst case scenario: You still got laid.

Thats an awesome idea like seeing if you can skin yourself alive is awesome. Go for it!

Social advice from the interwebz, usually a distrubing eye opener.

Ratius wrote:Social advice from the interwebz, usually a distrubing eye opener.

Disturbing 'cause its true!

Obviously she's a fickle friend so the best advice is just to grow a thicker skin and push her out of your life and refuse to let her back in. She was more than happy to push you out when it suited her so why bother with her. She made her feelings clear

Frazzled wrote:

biccat wrote:

rubiksnoob wrote:Get her pregnant.

This is an awesome idea.

Worst case scenario: You still got laid.

Thats an awesome idea like seeing if you can skin yourself alive is awesome. Go for it!

From my understanding, if you try to skin yourself alive, you don't get laid. This is an important distinction.

Although your method may be different.

Friends come and go, don't try and work out how and why, they just do, it's a fact of getting older.

Some of my closest friends I don't see for a year, but when we do it's like we haven't been apart. Other friends I see frequently and it's like we don't know each other.

Be yourself, be happy, move on ...

Remember we were all strangers once, the first step to making new friends is saying hello.