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Hello Dakka,

I am doing this as a favor to my sister. She has been dating a 40k player for a few years now and they are something special. For this Christmas, she wants to make a custom cookbook of all Orky recipies. She has a few ideas down (WAAAAAAAGH-ffles, Grot-wurst, and a few others, but she is struggling to fill a full cookbook. I am asking you the creative minds of Dakka, to put your orky brains together and come up with the craziest orky recipies that you can think off. They can be orky twists on an old favorite or, in orky fashion, something that is new and created by you (if you think it will work it most likely will). She has a few categories: Breakfast, Appatizers, Main Course, and Drinks. Try and give each dish an orky name and have fun with this. My sister appreciates all the help she can get.

ghazghkull-o's: cant start a good WAAAGH without them

Here's one for the drink section (I assume they are over 21) In the real world this is called an "incredible hulk" mix 3 oz. of Hennessy (cognac) with 3 oz. of Hypnotiq (liquer), when mixed, the drink becomes a neon green color, hence the name "incredible hulk". I can't think of a propa orky name for this drink, but be creative.

Green Milkshake( any ingredient, as long as it's green ) = Gorks Morkshake
Thai green curry = Squig n' burny Sauce - Squig being the chicken

This is a great idea btw!

Da Big Mek:

1/2 pound hamburger patty. must be Ground Sirloin, not Ground beef.

marinate the patty in BBQ sauce, preferably Cattlemans, before grilling to perfection.

best on a sourdough roll, but any old bun will do. add toppings to taste.



Da Burny Steak:

Tri-tip steak. if you can't get tri-tip(I hear its unique to CA) any old steak will be a good substitute.

prior to BBQing, rub the steak with a rub of equal parts paprika, salt, and ground peppercorns. you can add beer to the rub if desired.

then BBQ it.

Avacado dip: Grot puree

Jalapeno poppers : Battered snotling (anything else green in batter works too )

Warning
Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting that tastes amazeing.
Many dairy products in this cake!
Gluten in this cake!

Name: The "Makes up for not ave'ng a green wang" Chocolate cake.





2 cups sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup cocoa
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon of vanilla (MUST HAVE!)
1 cup coffee (make a pot and measure out a cup)
1 cup canola oil (IT MUST BE CANOLA OIL, BUY IT IF YOU DON”T HAVE IT)
1/2 cup of milk
2 eggs

Sift dry ingredients together first. Mix wet ingredients together then add to dry ingredients. Beat until smooth.

Spray 3 9-inch pans with spray oil. Pour the batter into the 3 pans equally.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Bake for 20-30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. (check at 20 minutes then again every 3-5 minutes after until its done.

You will have 3 round chocolate cakes.

NOW FOR THE FROSTING!!!!!!

One stick of butter (IT MUST BE REAL BUTTER!)
One 8oz packet of cream cheese (IT MUST BE REAL CREAM CHEESE!)
Let them sit out on your counter to soften up. Then place both in a bowel and beat the gak out of them with some electric beaters (or tabletop mixer with the whisk attachment) until smooth. MUST BE VERY SMOOTH, NO CHUNKS!
Then add ¼ cup of milk and 1 teaspoon of vanilla (AGAIN VANILLA NOT OPTIONAL!)
Beat until smooth again
Add at least one half cup of cocoa (ADD MORE LATER IF IT TASTES TOO MUCH LIKE POWDERED SUGER AND NOT ENOUGH LIKE CHOCOLATE!)
Add powdered sugar until the frosting is thick, this may take a while. Taste often to judge both thickness and chocolate taste. Note: this frosting will melt like butter because it is butter, if the cakes are still warm this stuff will ooze out. If you leave it in a hot car it will melt and ooze. But it is still damn good.

Build a three layered cake with the frosting in the middle, top, and edges.

(FOR BEST TASTE COVER AND LET SIT FOR A FEW HOURS)

Serves plenty of people.

Cover when it's not being eaten to keep it moist


This cake when properly prepared will taste better than any cake you have ever had before.

Hey all,

These ideas are great so far. Pass the word on to the other 40k foodies and get some more ideas. Here are a few that my sister came up with:

Power Klaws (Crab Dip?)

Killa Kan Chicken (Beer Can Chicken)

Evil Suns Chili (Spicy, Spicy Chili)

Red Ones Go Fasta (Red drink, with energy drink, possibly some grenadine)

Lets get some more going these are great. And to those of you who have already posted thank you for the ideas, they are great.

Squig Pie - think a normal recipe as a Chicken Pie except to pretend the chicken is actually a squig

Guiness could be Fungus Beer...

Stikkbombz - Mozzarella sticks with diced jalepeno to taste.

Speed Freak Cookies - No bake cookies. Preferably with something red on top.

Arch Arsonist of Charadon's Chicken - Cajun blackened chicken.

Grotsnik's Painkilla - A mojito, (stirred with a piece of sugar cane) with a drop of green food coloring if so desired!

This is a phenomenal idea. I don't know how she could sell them legally, but if it were possible I would buy one. If she's planning on offering it free on the internets, say, to promote some other kind of personal business, I will buy something else from her just to say thank you!

burnaz chicken wings (obviously would need to be a spicy recipe)

honey roasted squig (ie ham)

warbiker brisket (smoked briscot, smoked for the coversave)

Da Bezt Drinkk - just a green coloured martini. Green is best.

Ded Killy Chili - Whatever chili recipe you want to throw in there.

Da 'ead crusha (as in, makes your head hurt in the morning)

Grab any and all hard liquors you own (tequilla, vodka etc), pour into mixing bowl. Chop up some fruit and put it in the freezer. Add green food coloring, fruit juice and the frozen fruit then serve in as big a jug as you have with several smaller glasses to drink from.

(the reason you freeze the fruit is too keep the drink cool without watering it down)

Gork-a-mole (guacamole, google it).

Shok attak nachos

tortilla chip
cheese
jalpenos
50%ground beef-50%spicy sausage
tomatos
ground getchin-guacamole
spicy taco seasoning
bake and enjoy

Da weirdboyz stirring up somethin': Pop rocks

Deffkopta: wings

Waaaaaaagharoni

Soup of Gork (or is it mork) ie foot of gork

Squiglings: dumplings

Rosted squig: caramalized apple

Old zogwotz thing that turns you into squig (sry forget name): strong alchohol

here's a drink

The Shokk Attack

1 part vodka
1 part energy drink
1 part AGWA(look it up it is a wierd alcohol)
1 part lime soda(7-up,sprite)

i used to make this along time ago.

Here is something I heard about, but have never tried.


Da Green Tide:

its a punch type drink.

2 parts Monster, 1 part Mountain Dew, and 1 part Sprite.

substitute a clear Alchohol of choice for the sprite if desired.

Squig ribs:

Ingredients
4 lbs pork ribs
3/4 cup light brown sugar
1 teaspoon hickory smoke salt or salt with a tiny dash of liquid smoke
1 tablespoon paprika
1 tablespoon garlic powder
2 cups of your favorite barbecue sauce

Directions
Preheat oven to 300 degrees f.
Peel off tough membrane that covers the bony side of the ribs.
Mix together the sugar and spices to make the rub.
Apply rub to ribs on all sides.
Lay ribs on two layers of foil, shiny side out and meaty side down.
Lay two layers of foil on top of ribs and roll and crimp edges tightly, edges facing up to seal.
Place on baking sheet and bake for 2-2 1/2 hours or until meat is starting to shrink away from the ends of the bone.
Remove from oven.
Heat broiler.
Cut ribs into serving sized portions of 2 or 3 ribs.
Arrange on broiler pan, bony side up.
Brush on sauce.
Broil for 1 or 2 minutes until sauce is cooked on and bubbly.
Turn ribs over.
Repeat on other side.
Alternately, you can grill the ribs on your grill to cook on the sauce.

Courtesy of: http://www.food.com/recipe/beths-melt-in-your-mouth-barbecue-ribs-oven-107786, made them twice in the past 3 weeks they are incredible, I usually do 2 1/2 to 3 hours in the oven and they just fall right off the bone.

Any Breakfast Foods?

You could do something like green egg omleut with green food coloring and gree peppers. call it the ork brains or something

Ork Tossed salad

Ingredients:

1: Stupid Git
1: Hand Grenade.

Take hand grenade, give it to stupid git. Best paired with some nice Zinfandel and some cocoa leaf tea.

Kommand-O Treats

Just like rice-krispy treats but with honey nut cheerios...Its actually pretty tasty.

Nid eggs and Sliced oomie!

(green eggs and ham- fry eggs and add green food coloring, ditto the ham. serve with marinara sauce (mooshed up marines..)