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Recently me and my other half have had some problems, wont go into detail, but they involved someone at my local games club. We've managed to sort them, but now apparently she isn't welcome there any more, making my experience much less enjoyable.

This question probably has an obvious answer, but what would you guys do?

Would you try to sort things out to how they used to be? Or just go back to gaming at your own place?



Thanks in advance to all who reply and hopefully help


LazzurusMan

I know you dont want to go into detail but, without it there isn't a whole lot to go on.

I would probably find another store, if theres one within a respectable distance.

Without detail its impossible to know if they or she are/were acting like ass or unreasonable. So giving advice is a bit hard. But in general:

If they at the club are bad, move along and find someone else to play with that makes it fun. Life's too short to play with jerks.

Unfortunately the club isn't at a store...and the nearest place I can got to play is about 30 minutes away...and It's a GW...


But long story short on the whole problem thing, she had feeling for he, he had feelings for she, she was with me, he wanted to be with she, she chose me, he angry :/


So yeah...to me it seems like he...and the other at the the club and that run it, are being very immature...

I was too slow. Asuming that all that happend was your partner told someone they did not like them, I would say if your both comftable going back then ignore the person causing trouble and get on with your life. With something like that, as long as nither of you agitate the situation, then it;s not your problem.

Worst thing is, the others at the club have nothing to do with it.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Paul wrote:I supose it depends on who is "at fault" and what the reason for the disagreement. It also depends on what the people at the club are like.

Explained above you :/

LazzurusMan wrote:Worst thing is, the others at the club have nothing to do with it.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Paul wrote:I supose it depends on who is "at fault" and what the reason for the disagreement. It also depends on what the people at the club are like.

Explained above you :/

Ye. Sorry. You posted whilst I was typing

Ninja'd


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Not dislike...the other way around...


And she has been told to stay away because of it :/

Hi, I'm the "other half" basically, I started talking to someone from the club and we both started having feelings for one another. I stupidly decided to tell him, and he told me (plus all his family and friends) between the two of them they made me choose, I chose the guy I was with and had loved for 6 years, I upset the other guy.

With people at club.. some of them are this other guys family (hence why I'm not welcome anymore) and all the reast (i think) are friends with both guys.. hardly know me so it don't matter. I think they are just looking out for a friend, and I'm the one in the wrong so I accept I'm not welcome there.. but as of now (i thnk) I'm the only one who has been basically told they are unwelcome. They are all lovely people, they just dont like seeing people they care about hurt.

Hope This helps with any advice.

VampyreWyche wrote:Hi, I'm the "other half" basically, I started talking to someone from the club and we both started having feelings for one another. I stupidly decided to tell him, and he told me (plus all his family and friends) between the two of them they made me choose, I chose the guy I was with and had loved for 6 years, I upset the other guy.

With people at club.. some of them are this other guys family (hence why I'm not welcome anymore) and all the reast (i think) are friends with both guys.. hardly know me so it don't matter. I think they are just looking out for a friend, and I'm the one in the wrong so I accept I'm not welcome there.. but as of now (i thnk) I'm the only one who has been basically told they are unwelcome. They are all lovely people, they just dont like seeing people they care about hurt.

Hope This helps with any advice.

Unfortunately this creates a feeling of un-welcome-ness and I don't see how I can continue to play somewhere that will not allow someone to play because of personal feelings that have nothing, or at least had nothing to do with them until the afore mentioned "friend" involved them in something personal :/
Hope that's enough explaining for you ^^

That's a whole load of awkward. May I ask how recent this was?

I don't see how you've done wrong, he should get over it.

This was about a week ago, and In a breaking turn of events apparently this is all temporary, until it's sorted *which to me and the other half, it is* this is how it'll be.

The afore mentioned friend just needs to grow up and accept what's happened :/

Which they supposedly can...

it possibly wont be temporary for me, don't see why. I'd only been to the club twice.

Hardly any of them know me so it's not like it even matters

LazzurusMan wrote:Ninja'd


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Not dislike...the other way around...


And she has been told to stay away because of it :/

Sorry, poor choice of words...

As for talk of hurting others... Maybe there was some poorly thought out choices and comments, but the others need to grow up. However we only know half the story.

So the hurt is still raw. Might be a good idea for the other half to give the club a berth for a few weeks until the guy has some time to come to terms with what has happened. Hopefully get over it. As for grow up, telling someone you have feelings for them, and then choosing the other guy over them (even with such a long standing relationship) will have hurt his feelings, and a little bad blood is to be expected. Give it some time, and all will hopefully be well. If not, I'd look for another club, and tell the guy to grow up. Hope this helps.

Unfortunately this is all made worse by the fact that he's waiting until my other half comes back from Uni at christmas. He then wants to see her, which IMHO is only going to make it more complicated :/


When did the wargaming scene get so dammned confusing and personal?

VampyreWyche wrote:I started talking to someone from the club and we both started having feelings for one another. I stupidly decided to tell him, and he told me (plus all his family and friends)

Right here is when it got complicated and personal.

As for the Christmas talk, that could be good or bad. If he's still wound up and it gets angry, then you're probably looking for a new gaming club. Hopefully he'll think about it and come to terms with it in the intervening period and either decide he doesn't need to talk with her, or the talk will be a good bandage, everyone will be fine and normal service will resume. If he's in anyway mature I would expect the latter. Hope it goes well for you, and good luck!

So let me get this straight; some feller cracked on to the OPs missis, she said take a hike feller, OP didn't cave the fellers skull in, the feller gets all weepy and embarrassed so gets friends and family to ban her and put the OP in this situation.

It seems like this club is home to some right tuggers to me. The feller should be the one banned for cracking onto someone's GF. That's really not on and in any normal environment (a pub!!) would be met with violence and piss taking of the feller!

OP and Mrs OP should stride back in there and set up for a game. The cowardly sorts you describe will probably not have the stones to say a word. I'm also betting that the people that run the club don't give a fig so if asked would (should) back you.

If they dont name and shame them here, I would hate to accidentally go there and meet this sort of person.

Thank you, it's good to know that there are indiscriminate people who can help with matters like this


How I love the internet XD

@ notprop: It was slightly more mutual than that and thus a bit more of a delicate situation.

notprop wrote:So let me get this straight; some feller cracked on to the OPs missis, she said take a hike feller, OP didn't cave the fellers skull in, the feller gets all weepy and embarrassed so gets friends and family to ban her and put the OP in this situation.

It seems like this club is home to some right tuggers to me. The feller should be the one banned for cracking onto someone's GF. That's really not on and in any normal environment (a pub!!) would be met with violence and piss taking of the feller!

OP and Mrs OP should stride back in there and set up for a game. The cowardly sorts you describe will probably not have the stones to say a word. I'm also betting that the people that run the club don't give a fig so if asked would (should) back you.

If they dont name and shame them here, I would hate to accidentally go there and meet this sort of person.

Not true, they both had/have feelings for each other. Her feelings for me are just stronger, making it worse and understandable on his part.

Well he wont have a way to talk to me when I am home, I'm home for three weeks, one of them (and every weekend) I will be at my Grandmothers house.
Have no internet to contact him with.

Plus as I have three essay due and an exam the first day back of Uni and another exam 3 days later, so I will be VERY busy so wouldnt have time to see him anyway. So he wont see me till Easter now. Should be over all this by then (fingers crossed).

Thanks for all your help and understanding

VampyreWyche wrote:Well he wont have a way to talk to me when I am home, I'm home for three weeks, one of them (and every weekend) I will be at my Grandmothers house.
Have no internet to contact him with.

Plus as I have three essay due and an exam the first day back of Uni and another exam 3 days later, so I will be VERY busy so wouldnt have time to see him anyway. So he wont see me till Easter now. Should be over all this by then (fingers crossed).

Thanks for all your help and understanding

Sounds like you should be all right then, he should be fine by then. Happy Gaming!

Thanks again for all your help

Unfortunately I will not be returning to the club until this is sorted, I don't want to make things any more complicated than they are :/

No bother, and once again, good luck!

LazzurusMan wrote:

notprop wrote:So let me get this straight; some feller cracked on to the OPs missis, she said take a hike feller, OP didn't cave the fellers skull in, the feller gets all weepy and embarrassed so gets friends and family to ban her and put the OP in this situation.

It seems like this club is home to some right tuggers to me. The feller should be the one banned for cracking onto someone's GF. That's really not on and in any normal environment (a pub!!) would be met with violence and piss taking of the feller!

OP and Mrs OP should stride back in there and set up for a game. The cowardly sorts you describe will probably not have the stones to say a word. I'm also betting that the people that run the club don't give a fig so if asked would (should) back you.

If they dont name and shame them here, I would hate to accidentally go there and meet this sort of person.

Not true, they both had/have feelings for each other. Her feelings for me are just stronger, making it worse and understandable on his part.

Missed that bit, that makes it rather more complex.

While I applaud your Missus' honesty about having feelings about this bloke, having a GF that plays wargames isn't so important that I would stomach this sort of behaviour. I take it all back if she is leading people on then they are rightly pissed.

This is a mess but it shouldn't be affecting you or your gaming OP. Don't finad another gaming club find another GF. Hell shes already started looking!

notprop wrote:While I applaud your Missus' honesty about having feelings about this bloke, having a GF that plays wargames isn't so important that I would stomach this sort of behaviour. I take it all back if she is leading people on then they are rightly pissed.

This is a mess but it shouldn't be affecting you or your gaming OP. Don't finad another gaming club find another GF. Hell shes already started looking!

This isn't the case, and she hasn't, she has a thing about mistaking her feelings.

He has taken this all out of proportion by not accepting the decision that has been made and has made it worse.

I will not be going back for a while, not until this is all resolved

VampyreWyche wrote:Hi, I'm the "other half" basically, I started talking to someone from the club and we both started having feelings for one another. I stupidly decided to tell him, and he told me (plus all his family and friends) between the two of them they made me choose, I chose the guy I was with and had loved for 6 years, I upset the other guy.

With people at club.. some of them are this other guys family (hence why I'm not welcome anymore) and all the reast (i think) are friends with both guys.. hardly know me so it don't matter. I think they are just looking out for a friend, and I'm the one in the wrong so I accept I'm not welcome there.. but as of now (i thnk) I'm the only one who has been basically told they are unwelcome. They are all lovely people, they just dont like seeing people they care about hurt.

Hope This helps with any advice.

A perfect example of etiquette in relationships. When you are in a committed relationship you simply DO NOT form close friendships with people of the opposite sex. Casual "see you next game" stuff is fine. Giving them your phone number, adding them to your social networks, etc is just out. You just dont do it. If you feel the need to, perhaps you should not be in a relationship at the time.


Trust me, Ive been down that road before...only ends badly.

I haven't had allot of chance to talk to her, so I'm fine with her making close friends to talk to.

I'm going to say this just to stop anyone saying things, I Intend to marry her, so I know things are going to be fine, and that there is no need to find anyone else.