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Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:

infinite_array wrote:We've... we've been trolled. I'm so ashamed. Can we get a thread lock now?

Did I not call it?

All hail Cannerus! Predictor of Threads and Teller of Trolls!

LazzurusMan wrote:
And I'm slightly offended btw...just because I'm 17 doesn't mean I can't think about these sorts of things and mean it :/

It is exactly because you're 17 is why you can't think about these sort of things and mean it.

Just runing the maths you are 17. Been going out for 6 years takes us back to 11. Gf says she hid feelings for you for four years takes us to 7. It does appear rather trollish.

Since we're sharing...

A friend once told me that there's three kinds of people when it comes to relationships:

Those that are committed to their partner.

Those that are committed to their partner, but may look elsewhere when they don't get what they want/need from them.

Those that are committed to themselves.


My wife used to be the third kind of person before we decided to date. I, as they say, "made her an honest woman."

I thought I was the first kind of person until we had lived together long enough for our personalities to grate and reach the straining point of our ability to compromise and communicate. It was at this time that I met someone else who seemed much more compatible, made me feel awesome to be around. Except that I was still in a relationship with my wife.

For me, the right decision was to stay with my wife and work out our problems. I said goodbye (not without heartache) to the other woman and committed myself to understanding my woman and helping her to understand me. We have an amazing relationship that our friends and family look to as an example of how things can work between two loving people.

I sincerely hope that this is a one-time occurance for you both and that you use it to temper the strength of your relationship. The best thing you can be is honest with one another, especially about your feelings towards other people.

infinite_array wrote:

LazzurusMan wrote:I'm only 17 tbh XD

And I'm saving up for the ring atm

We've... we've been trolled. I'm so ashamed. Can we get a thread lock now?

I was gonna get all fiery with my post but now... whats the point.

The gist of it would have been...

Sounds like she led another guy on, keep that money you're planning on spending on the ring.

Ma55ter_fett wrote:
Sounds like she led another guy on, keep that money you're planning on spending on the ring.

On the plus side, he can afford a new army.

Having waded back in after my first post, I only have one piece of advice:

You all need to grow the hell up and act like adults. Seriously.

Oh yeah like that's going to happen you poopy head!

Yeah the bigger boys made us do it sir

ProtoClone wrote:

I have to echo this point as well. Being married myself and having had dealt with this issue, because I am a bit of a flirt apparently, it is respectful to your partner. But that is me and how we deal with it.

OTH, if it works for you two and you are both OK about this, then fine...Really, this isn't what the OT is about, though.

My thought - Shut-it-down, its over. Don't consider going back because it will never be like how it was, or even close. This is the price for playing it loose.

Nothing will destroy a most gaming groups faster then sex/sexual tension.
My Own Example - I was in a RPG group where there was four guys and one girl. The guy who was DMing was engaged to the girl but she was attracted to myself and one other guy. *Some varied adult content*...the group broke up, her and the DM broke up and she married the other guy. The one other guy in the group was married so he wasn't an option for her.

There is a difference between being a flirt, and leading people on though. Its not just that the guys lady was just flirting with the club person, but apparently they had formed some sort of relationship (her having said that she would never love anyone MORE than her current boyfriend leads me to believe she felt some feelings of love towards the person at the club, and him formed feelings towards her).

xcarbonx wrote:

ProtoClone wrote:

I have to echo this point as well. Being married myself and having had dealt with this issue, because I am a bit of a flirt apparently, it is respectful to your partner. But that is me and how we deal with it.

OTH, if it works for you two and you are both OK about this, then fine...Really, this isn't what the OT is about, though.

My thought - Shut-it-down, its over. Don't consider going back because it will never be like how it was, or even close. This is the price for playing it loose.

Nothing will destroy a most gaming groups faster then sex/sexual tension.
My Own Example - I was in a RPG group where there was four guys and one girl. The guy who was DMing was engaged to the girl but she was attracted to myself and one other guy. *Some varied adult content*...the group broke up, her and the DM broke up and she married the other guy. The one other guy in the group was married so he wasn't an option for her.

There is a difference between being a flirt, and leading people on though. Its not just that the guys lady was just flirting with the club person, but apparently they had formed some sort of relationship (her having said that she would never love anyone MORE than her current boyfriend leads me to believe she felt some feelings of love towards the person at the club, and him formed feelings towards her).

Well my own example between me and my wife and me being a flirt wasn't meant to be anything more then a side comment.

Anyway, it looks like the whole topic is a fake so it doesn't matter...but I will say this.

Forming a relationship with someone else, emotionally or physically, while still being in a relationship is still cheating.

I would dump her man.

She has already proven herself to be disloyal. She had feelings for another man while with you? Don't be a pushover, there are billions of women on the planet. You can find another.

VampyreWyche wrote:

dkellyj wrote:"I Intend to marry her"
Does she know this? Has she said yes, or is she not ready for this most serious of commitments. And if so, is a date set (or is this a pie-in-the-sky engagement).
Side issue: Lady says she was at the club twice, yet develops strong feelings towards the other party. After 2 visits? Or was their some extra-curricular activity outside the gaming environment that led to the bond forming?
And if this occurs while in a State of Engagement, what does that portend for the State of Marriage?
(NOTE: My 1st marriage ended due to her feelings for a co-worker being acted upon...I KNOW from whence I speak).

So, in short; the lady got close to someone in the local social group. The lady tells 3rd party of these feelings (and admits after-the-fact of the utter stupidity of this action...has she learned rom this or will this be a common occurence?). 3rd party places lady in the most childish of situations...stay with him or excommunication from the game-group. Lady rejects him (and rightly so if he is going to be such an adolescent dolt) and in his butt-hurt nerd-rage makes you a target as well.

The 30 minute drive to another gameing group would be well worth the time and effort. That, or start your own group with folks who are a bit more adult in their manners and relationships.

Lady does know his intentions, haven't said yes as he hasn't asked yet. But intends to. Therefore a date isn't set, but I would ideally like to finish my degree and get Teaching qualification and a job first. And I am also very ill with a lot of things wrong with me, most days I need to talk to someone in order to see the point of doing everyday things. My boyfriend knows this, and he couldn't talk, this other guy could. And just by talking we got to know things about each other. I would NEVER cheat on anyone, I have had that happen to me and the other girl was my best friend. I wouldn't ever do that to anyone, least of all if that person was my Husband. And yes I have learned from this. I have trouble trusting people as I have been hurt way too much in the past, yet I fall in love easily. I have major trust issues due to being hurt and lied to all my life. And living around people that constantly put me down. So I hate myself more than enough, and would never ever dream of cheating on anyone. They are just feelings, i have goteen used to hiding them over the years I had 4 years of hiding my feelings for my boyfriend after all.

Wall of text hurt my eyes. There is no excuse for leading other guys on, forming 'relationships' with men while in a relationship or any of the nonsense. Also, talking about yourself in the third person is creepy.

OP, you seem like you could do better. Cut the Jerry Springer crap and move on. 3 billion + women out there man.

For the sake of argument, we don't know that he can find another, not that I think she's evil by any stretch. There's never just fault on one side. Nature will take it's course here as with this thread.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:For the sake of argument, we don't know that he can find another, not that I think she's evil by any stretch. There's never just fault on one side. Nature will take it's course here as with this thread.

I was giving him the benefit of the doubt that he could, seemed nice.

IdentifyZero wrote:I would dump her man.

She has already proven herself to be disloyal. She had feelings for another man while with you? Don't be a pushover, there are billions of women on the planet. You can find another.

Wall of text hurt my eyes. There is no excuse for leading other guys on, forming 'relationships' with men while in a relationship or any of the nonsense. Also, talking about yourself in the third person is creepy.

OP, you seem like you could do better. Cut the Jerry Springer crap and move on. 3 billion + women out there man.

Wow, the Dakka dating advice true to form. This place is about the worst place for relationship advice, these threads are always the same.

OP - "I live for gaming and paint 24/7, my girlfriend says she wants to spend some time with me!? What do I do?"

Dakka - "Ditch the bitch, roll them dice!"



These kids are 17. Looking at wallpaper makes the want to have sex. So there's a guy down the club that chats to her and they find each other attractive. So what? I find girls other than my wife attractive too because I'm not blind/stupid. Before it gets out of hand, girl tells other guy she's committed to current relationship. Guy gets bent out of shape. Oh well.

My advice is that everyone gets some perspective and move on/grow up.

Howard A Treesong wrote:

These kids are 17. Looking at wallpaper makes the want to have sex. So there's a guy down the club that chats to her and they find each other attractive. So what? I find girls other than my wife attractive too because I'm not blind/stupid. Before it gets out of hand, girl tells other guy she's committed to current relationship. Guy gets bent out of shape. Oh well.

My advice is that everyone gets some perspective and move on/grow up.

It wasnt just that the other guy just found her attractive though. According to OP and his lady though, there were some feelings between the lady and the other guy. It was more than just he checks her out and gets upset. You tell every one else to get perspective, but it doesn't seem like you read more than the first few posts, no offence. There is a difference between finding other attractive, and forming a relationship between an other and leading them on in it.

Howard A Treesong wrote:

IdentifyZero wrote:I would dump her man.

She has already proven herself to be disloyal. She had feelings for another man while with you? Don't be a pushover, there are billions of women on the planet. You can find another.

Wall of text hurt my eyes. There is no excuse for leading other guys on, forming 'relationships' with men while in a relationship or any of the nonsense. Also, talking about yourself in the third person is creepy.

OP, you seem like you could do better. Cut the Jerry Springer crap and move on. 3 billion + women out there man.

Wow, the Dakka dating advice true to form. This place is about the worst place for relationship advice, these threads are always the same.

OP - "I live for gaming and paint 24/7, my girlfriend says she wants to spend some time with me!? What do I do?"

Dakka - "Ditch the bitch, roll them dice!"



These kids are 17. Looking at wallpaper makes the want to have sex. So there's a guy down the club that chats to her and they find each other attractive. So what? I find girls other than my wife attractive too because I'm not blind/stupid. Before it gets out of hand, girl tells other guy she's committed to current relationship. Guy gets bent out of shape. Oh well.

My advice is that everyone gets some perspective and move on/grow up.

This wasn't an issue of just attraction, the OP 'girlfriend' was forming a 'relationship' with another guy and had developed 'feelings' because they were always 'talking' because the OP was unavailable for whatever reason.

I used lots of ' ' because the OP and his 'girlfriend' were very vague about a lot of what went on.

I dislike the use of my quote along with your analogy, as my words had nothing to do with the supposed 'Dakka' portrayal you included in your post. I didn't tell him to ditch her and keep on gaming because she wanted to spend time; I said to ditch her and find another girl because she is not loyal and there are literally billions of other women on the planet (Not all single, but if he tries, he can find another girl.. ecspecially at 17).

Seriously, these kinds of girls thrive on attention and they enjoy getting it from multiple men who will be 'in love' with them and fight over them. It's a typical teenage girl thing and something that continues on in life with some women.

There is no reason to put up with the above crap.

OP, you've lost a friend and alienated a gaming group, over a girl who couldn't be close to just one manboy. Maybe she's your first girlfriend etc.. but you will find if you open your eyes to the wider world, you don't need a drama queen.

Bails out of thread. This is going to get nasty very soon.

xcarbonx wrote:It wasnt just that the other guy just found her attractive though. According to OP and his lady though, there were some feelings between the lady and the other guy. It was more than just he checks her out and gets upset. You tell every one else to get perspective, but it doesn't seem like you read more than the first few posts, no offence. There is a difference between finding other attractive, and forming a relationship between an other and leading them on in it.

Doesn't sound like much of a relationship, they socialise and find that they have feelings. She decided to make it clear she's sticking with the current guy. The other guy gets upset because he failed to get someone else's girlfriend? Pfft, why doesn't someone tell *him* there's 3 billion other girls? People need to chill out, if you stray into becoming possessive and unforgiving then you won't have a happy life. People shouldn't be breaking up or pushing others out of their gaming club over it.

Oh, when people declare what "these kinds of girls" think, it's worth remembering she's a member of this forum posting her opinion above...

IdentifyZero wrote:

Howard A Treesong wrote:

IdentifyZero wrote:I would dump her man.

She has already proven herself to be disloyal. She had feelings for another man while with you? Don't be a pushover, there are billions of women on the planet. You can find another.

Wall of text hurt my eyes. There is no excuse for leading other guys on, forming 'relationships' with men while in a relationship or any of the nonsense. Also, talking about yourself in the third person is creepy.

OP, you seem like you could do better. Cut the Jerry Springer crap and move on. 3 billion + women out there man.

Wow, the Dakka dating advice true to form. This place is about the worst place for relationship advice, these threads are always the same.

OP - "I live for gaming and paint 24/7, my girlfriend says she wants to spend some time with me!? What do I do?"

Dakka - "Ditch the bitch, roll them dice!"



These kids are 17. Looking at wallpaper makes the want to have sex. So there's a guy down the club that chats to her and they find each other attractive. So what? I find girls other than my wife attractive too because I'm not blind/stupid. Before it gets out of hand, girl tells other guy she's committed to current relationship. Guy gets bent out of shape. Oh well.

My advice is that everyone gets some perspective and move on/grow up.

This wasn't an issue of just attraction, the OP 'girlfriend' was forming a 'relationship' with another guy and had developed 'feelings' because they were always 'talking' because the OP was unavailable for whatever reason.

I used lots of ' ' because the OP and his 'girlfriend' were very vague about a lot of what went on.

I dislike the use of my quote along with your analogy, as my words had nothing to do with the supposed 'Dakka' portrayal you included in your post. I didn't tell him to ditch her and keep on gaming because she wanted to spend time; I said to ditch her and find another girl because she is not loyal and there are literally billions of other women on the planet (Not all single, but if he tries, he can find another girl.. ecspecially at 17).

Seriously, these kinds of girls thrive on attention and they enjoy getting it from multiple men who will be 'in love' with them and fight over them. It's a typical teenage girl thing and something that continues on in life with some women.

There is no reason to put up with the above crap.

OP, you've lost a friend and alienated a gaming group, over a girl who couldn't be close to just one manboy. Maybe she's your first girlfriend etc.. but you will find if you open your eyes to the wider world, you don't need a drama queen.

Howard A Treesong wrote:

xcarbonx wrote:It wasnt just that the other guy just found her attractive though. According to OP and his lady though, there were some feelings between the lady and the other guy. It was more than just he checks her out and gets upset. You tell every one else to get perspective, but it doesn't seem like you read more than the first few posts, no offence. There is a difference between finding other attractive, and forming a relationship between an other and leading them on in it.

Doesn't sound like much of a relationship, they socialise and find that they have feelings. She decided to make it clear she's sticking with the current guy. The other guy gets upset because he failed to get someone else's girlfriend? Pfft, why doesn't someone tell *him* there's 3 billion other girls? People need to chill out, if you stray into becoming possessive and unforgiving then you won't have a happy life. People shouldn't be breaking up or pushing others out of their gaming club over it.

Oh, when people declare what "these kinds of girls" think, it's worth remembering she's a member of this forum posting her opinion above...

The main bit to pay attention to is when she says

VampyreWyche wrote:I started talking to someone from the club and we both started having feelings for one another. I stupidly decided to tell him, and he told me...

To me this seems rather suggestive, and apparently everyone else thought it was as well.


On a side note I was clipping my fingernails and the thumb nail clipping flew off and slipped down under the right arrow key and jamed it up .

Howard A Treesong wrote:

xcarbonx wrote:It wasnt just that the other guy just found her attractive though. According to OP and his lady though, there were some feelings between the lady and the other guy. It was more than just he checks her out and gets upset. You tell every one else to get perspective, but it doesn't seem like you read more than the first few posts, no offence. There is a difference between finding other attractive, and forming a relationship between an other and leading them on in it.

Doesn't sound like much of a relationship, they socialise and find that they have feelings. She decided to make it clear she's sticking with the current guy. The other guy gets upset because he failed to get someone else's girlfriend? Pfft, why doesn't someone tell *him* there's 3 billion other girls? People need to chill out, if you stray into becoming possessive and unforgiving then you won't have a happy life. People shouldn't be breaking up or pushing others out of their gaming club over it.

Oh, when people declare what "these kinds of girls" think, it's worth remembering she's a member of this forum posting her opinion above...

You think it's ok she was looking for another man to fufill her needs while in a comitted relationship supposedly leading to marriage?

Interesting personality trait.

I think enough has been said.

Howard A Treesong wrote:

xcarbonx wrote:It wasnt just that the other guy just found her attractive though. According to OP and his lady though, there were some feelings between the lady and the other guy. It was more than just he checks her out and gets upset. You tell every one else to get perspective, but it doesn't seem like you read more than the first few posts, no offence. There is a difference between finding other attractive, and forming a relationship between an other and leading them on in it.

Doesn't sound like much of a relationship, they socialise and find that they have feelings. She decided to make it clear she's sticking with the current guy. The other guy gets upset because he failed to get someone else's girlfriend? Pfft, why doesn't someone tell *him* there's 3 billion other girls? People need to chill out, if you stray into becoming possessive and unforgiving then you won't have a happy life. People shouldn't be breaking up or pushing others out of their gaming club over it.

Oh, when people declare what "these kinds of girls" think, it's worth remembering she's a member of this forum posting her opinion above...

She said that she STUPIDLY decided to tell him, which implies that it was more than just a friend ship. You are trying to write it off as nothing more than that, which by her posts, and the situation as a whole, go against. Even though she made it clear she is sticking with the OP, the other guy still (in my eyes) is not in the wrong by being mad, he was led on and such.

Why don't all three of you hook up? Move on over here to the states when we legalize threesome marriages. No worries, bro!

Lt. Coldfire wrote:Why don't all three of you hook up? Move on over here to the states when we legalize threesome marriages. No worries, bro!

lol..

Personal experience talking here (yea older guy). My ex fiance (before I met my wife) was having feeling's for someone and she told me. I thought all was cool but she was still seeing him and started sleeping with him. I tossed her out at that point (told her to get the f*** out of my house) and that just ended badly.

I also learned you have to have trust. If you can't trust her not to go near him or not to be able to ignore her "feelings" towards him you are better off catching another fish. Not saying you have to but you will learn in time, when its right, there is no one that will cause them to sway.

I do and always will trust her.


And if you don't mind guys 17 years old's are bit more mature than you'd think, or at least some of us are.

And we have this locked? Don't think anything has been on topic since page 2 :/

Mature in terms of not having a fit in a restaurant... probably.
Mature in terms of a life-long commitment.... Ehh......

Well, looking back, LazzurusMan, Page 3 is probably why you hadn't planned on giving reason why you were having trouble with your club. As it turns out, you may have been smarter than all of us.

IdentifyZero wrote:You think it's ok she was looking for another man to fufill her needs while in a comitted relationship supposedly leading to marriage?

Seems a leap to go from expressing feelings for another person to "looking for another man". You can't control feelings as such, only actions. I still think it's a mountain being made out of a molehill. If the OP was unhappy with how far the 'relationship' or 'friendship' between his girlfriend and another guy, he hasn't made it clear.

I'm not unhappy as it went no further than friendship.

And just because I'm 17 doesn't mean I can't be serious about a commitment as big as marriage.

And if we're going to start on about immaturity...look at some of your own posts

LazzurusMan wrote:I'm not unhappy as it went no further than friendship.

And just because I'm 17 doesn't mean I can't be serious about a commitment as big as marriage.

And if we're going to start on about immaturity...look at some of your own posts

Not sure how to multi qoute, but might I point you to this guy

Lt. Coldfire wrote:Mature in terms of not having a fit in a restaurant... probably.
Mature in terms of a life-long commitment.... Ehh......

Well, looking back, LazzurusMan, Page 3 is probably why you hadn't planned on giving reason why you were having trouble with your club. As it turns out, you may have been smarter than all of us.

I am also 17, and like to think of my self as mature for my age, but I understand that the youth mindset might not be the best, no matter how well rationalized it can be in our eyes. I really want to get a tattoo for example, and have put a lot of time into thinking about it, however I have no intention of getting it till I am older (not untill college time atleast). I am trying to avoid doing something permanent that I will regret, so I am choosing to wait (that and I want to make sure that I am finished growing so tattoo wont stretch).

xcarbonx wrote:

LazzurusMan wrote:I'm not unhappy as it went no further than friendship.

And just because I'm 17 doesn't mean I can't be serious about a commitment as big as marriage.

And if we're going to start on about immaturity...look at some of your own posts

Not sure how to multi qoute, but might I point you to this guy

Lt. Coldfire wrote:Mature in terms of not having a fit in a restaurant... probably.
Mature in terms of a life-long commitment.... Ehh......

Well, looking back, LazzurusMan, Page 3 is probably why you hadn't planned on giving reason why you were having trouble with your club. As it turns out, you may have been smarter than all of us.

I am also 17, and like to think of my self as mature for my age, but I understand that the youth mindset might not be the best, no matter how well rationalized it can be in our eyes. I really want to get a tattoo for example, and have put a lot of time into thinking about it, however I have no intention of getting it till I am older (not untill college time atleast). I am trying to avoid doing something permanent that I will regret, so I am choosing to wait (that and I want to make sure that I am finished growing so tattoo wont stretch).

Meh tatoos aren't as permanent anymore. Just avoid anywhere you can't cover in buisness casual. I kind of regret not getting one younger. I am not young and stupid enough (too much of a wussy now) to get one anymore but I say live life and do what you want. You've only got another 85 years tops left to do stuff on this world.