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The other day, the kettle in my corridor's kitchen wasn't working... the light wasn't coming on when I flicked the switch and fiddling didn't do anything. I assumed the fuse had blown and I don't know my way around those.

Anyhoo, I lifted the kettle from its base, whacked it and yelled 'damn you machine spirit!' and hey presto the light came on I do have a witness to this...


Anyone else had these moments?

I must say that my most pleasurable call to a tech support line was when I said 'I have tried incantations to the Machine Spirit, but it did nothing' and the guy on the other end of the line replied 'a fellow guardsman!' ...It's nice to run into 40k types in the real world.

I also had one of those moments, with my kitchen too, it looks like the kitchens Machine Spirits are always pissed, the light doesnt go on, not even if you turn the switch, and i need to pray to the Omnisiah so i can see when its night... It`s really annoying, and some other moments with the rest of the electronics on it.

I have replaced the kids toys machine spirits (batteries) by using my mechdendrite arms (screwdrivers and pliers shoved up my sleeves)

They screamed once when the tools fell out. They also didnt sleep when i told them I woud fuse their flesh with deamonic engines of destruction.

Hitting the object and curseing the machine spirit always seems to work for me... especially on my DS

I enjoy the typical monthly call to Comcast Cable when I formerly lived in a apartment complex in Voorhees, NJ. I lived literally right behind a Games Workshop. Myself or my roommate used to have to call literally for things such as people splicing into our cable, the main cable box outside the units getting tampered with, and the many "technicians" who would blunder into our apartment, plug in their technician box, and say "we have to send out another technician."

I loved to conversations with customer service. Many times I in moments of angry to calm myself would inform them "your tech priests have not completed the required machine spirit blessings," or "the machine spirit is befouled by chaos." It was fun to hear their response of either "i'm sorry sir, but the technician is doing all they can," or "are you asking use to send a priest?"

Yes comcast. Send a priest to the home, because when the customer smites their cable box because you are usually, at least someone can bless it. Or send a technician who has a clue and can simply start with the main cable box and work from there.

I would love to hear what the Imperium's state tech support phonecalls sound like...

I was reading a Dan Abnett novel on the train a couple of years back. When the snack trolley went passed, I bought a sandwich or something, and as the guy handed me my change, he muttered "The Emperor Protects!"

Which made me smile!

All my paintbrushes and tools have red handles, and my painting smock thing is a Red Snuggie.

It's pretty damn funny.

You guys ever see that movie Jesus Camp? There was a part where there were people praying to God to forbid the devil from causing difficulty to their computers. That's as close to the real world Omnissiah as you can get.

Magnets.

Just magnets.

Henners91 wrote:I would love to hear what the Imperium's state tech support phonecalls sound like...

"Hello, you've reached the Imperial Lascannon Support Vox, your prayer is extremely important to us, however we have no available techpriests, so continue to chant the Prayer of Delay and a techpriest will be with you as soon as one is able. <cheesy music> "

My Keurig has some daemons that I've tried to exercise, but to no avail.

currant12 wrote:"Hello, you've reached the Imperial Lascannon Support Vox, your prayer is extremely important to us, however we have no available techpriests, so continue to chant the Prayer of Delay and a techpriest will be with you as soon as one is able. <cheesy music> "

"Hello, you've reached the Imperial Lascannon Support Vox. Displeasing a machine spirit and letting Imperial equipment fall into a state of disrepair is a crime punishable by death. The commisariat has been notified."

"If your sin against the Machine Spirit was caused by heresy, press 1. If your sin against the Machine Spirit was caused by mutation, press 2."

]presses 1[ your sin was caused by heresy the commisarat has been notified. please wait and our our assistants will be with you soon
]presses 2[ your sin was caused by mutation the inquisition has been informed. please wait and the black ships will be with you soon

on a serious note i can see in the dark so i dont need lights although i do machine litany chants to my TV/DVD player