I am really positive about your list. You have some awesomeness in your list.
The stormbolter is already on the rhino. Not sure you need the extra ones.
Whirlwinds are pretty dire, I am afraid, you can remove the lid, to use it as a rhino. Whirlwind may be good vs orks.
Epistolary may be good with the new rules, I am not so sure, I think I would prefer to spend the points elsewhere.
You want a rhino for the sternguard then:
3 rhinos rushing forward, protecting the raider full assault termies, with 2 preds with covering fire is a great idea.
Rhino set up:
you want the three rhinos to complement each other. I like:
2
tac. squads with melta,combimelta,
ML as an antitank threat.
Then 6 sternguard with 4 combimeltas and 2 heavy flamers, for antitank, antiifantry and just general coolness.
This gives 3 rhinos worth the same, spreading out threats.
You can play with set ups etc. I still think antitank is most important, as bolters can shoot down infantry well enough.
I like the pred set up.
The raider is dedicated transport. Also I would usually give it extra armour. Some would change the type then bring the librarian in termy armour and
SS, for extra awesomeness.
Wait not all the assault marines fit in the raider?
The best mix for assault marines is a bit unclear as of yet, but you have a nice enough mix come what may.
Snipers really want camocloaks, as they are amazing at keeping them alive. Then Telion is just great. You may want extra scouts, this'll give Telion extra wounds else you can decide on the day that you need to combat squad.
The speeders have changed since 6th. I am not sure the best set up for what you want and for 6th edition in general. They seem sensible enough.
Good luck