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So, Dakka, I saw a sight while working this weekend that made me lose all faith in humanity (I thought I had already lost it, but it turns out worse/dumber was yet to come). I had to go to Wal-Mart to get supplies for work, and while waiting in line there was a woman in front of me who had grabbed a full sized cart for one, count it, ONE frozen pizza. I mean, this lady tried so hard to be lazy that she created more work for herself-pushing one of those carts actually takes more energy than carrying a frozen pizza by hand. She wasn't exactly old either.

Share your stories of people who try so hard to be lazy that they end up expending more energy than they should have. This should prove to be entertaining.

While I'm as happy as the next guy to point and laugh at stupid people, it's possibly worth pointing out that she might not have been trying to be lazy... I'll quite often grab a trolley or a basket if I'm buying something frozen, just so I don't have to stand in line holding something that's frozen.

Ya. Also some people just grab one to grab one. It's like reflex.

If that incident made you lose faith in humanity than I think your standards are too high.

My favorite cart related "kill all humans" reaction pet-peeve is when people push their cart up to the doorway and take their few bags out of the cart and walk away. leaving the cart dead center of the enrtyway. Basically a "feth you" to anyone else coming out of the door. I usually kick the empty cart violently out of the way, hopefully while they're still within sight.

This is why I don't use my carry permit often.

Some people have impairments and use carts to balance.

I like to run really fast with them and then jump on the back laughing as old people and children franticly scramble out of my way.

The carts with the extended back meant of babies and children are the best. Sometimes they even come with kids in them with whom I can share my love for vehicular carnage!

It's all good until the aisle ends, then you probably need to run without the cart.

 n0t_u wrote:
It's all good until the aisle ends, then you probably need to run without the cart.

I just grab someone elses, shopping, kids, and all.

As well as the other suggestions given (didn't want to hold frozen pizza, needed balance) it's also possible that the person might have planned on doing more shopping, but didn't for some reason or another (perhaps they didn't have whatever else she had wanted to buy). I mean, I love judging people as much as anyone, but come on.



The bigger question is why do people buy frozen pizzas? If you can't be bothered making your own pizza (and pizza may well be the easiest meal on Earth to prepare), and even if you don't care about the not-food they call pizza toppings, then you can get basically the same product from one of the chain food stores like Domino's for less money.

The one that gets me is the perfectly healthy young people who grab a fleet of electric carts and drive around like it's cool or something... to me they just look stupid. Meanwhile the person on crutches that could really use the thing has to hobble around.

 helgrenze wrote:
The one that gets me is the perfectly healthy young people who grab a fleet of electric carts and drive around like it's cool or something... to me they just look stupid. Meanwhile the person on crutches that could really use the thing has to hobble around.

I have never seen such a thing, but would totally dragon kick someone off one if I did.

I have done that before, got a basket out of sheer habit.

 Ma55ter_fett wrote:
I like to run really fast with them and then jump on the back laughing as old people and children franticly scramble out of my way.

The carts with the extended back meant of babies and children are the best. Sometimes they even come with kids in them with whom I can share my love for vehicular carnage!

Its funny until the soccer mom literally beats you to death for threatening her child. I'd just point and laugh as you teeth go flying out when she hits you with the Purse of Ultimate Crap.

I'd play Yakety Sax and watch her try to catch up.

 Frazzled wrote:

 Ma55ter_fett wrote:
I like to run really fast with them and then jump on the back laughing as old people and children franticly scramble out of my way.

The carts with the extended back meant of babies and children are the best. Sometimes they even come with kids in them with whom I can share my love for vehicular carnage!

Its funny until the soccer mom literally beats you to death for threatening her child. I'd just point and laugh as you teeth go flying out when she hits you with the Purse of Ultimate Crap.

I only grab the carts of mothers whose spirits have been broken by the incessent screachings of her hidious spawn. They usually stare after me with the dead souless eyes of those whom have yet to have an uninterupted night of sleep since the birth of their last child.

I do this not as an act of kindness for the parent but because the kids of these parents are the most destructive and crazy little motha'fetha's it would ever be you displeasure to meet, and we whoop and hollar as we wreak our path of destruction and ruin through the store. For we are wild things and no mere mortal (or any dose of ritalin) can tame our spirit.

You know, the thought did cross my mind that she may have intended to get more items...but really, who goes in expecting to get a lot then walks out with just frozen pizza? I can see grabbing a basket out of habit, but a full cart? Why not bring it back if you see you don't need it? She walked perfectly fine too, didn't need the cart for balance. Point is, you guys are disappointing me-give me stories about people who fail in similar fashion.

And yes, pizza is the easiest food to make: get dough, let sit out, form in a circle shape, splash sauce, spread cheese, cook. Frozen pizzas are their own form of fail.

This one time this guy I knew on a forum somewhere didn't have any stories of people failing at being lazy so he tried to get other people to tell their stories of people failing to be lazy.

I won't mention his name because I don't want him to think I'm calling him out.


Also if someone failed at being lazy wouldn't this mean that they were busy all the time?

Probably be wasting time to mention names.

This one time I was going to type about people failing at being lazy and I was too lazy to type it all out.

wait...

I once saw a women with gray hair and a hunched back pushing two kids in a shopping cart (again with the shopping carts I know) the kids had to be 100lbs apiece. I made the suggestion to them that they ought to get out and push the old lady around.

They declined.

So I guess they qualify.

 Ma55ter_fett wrote:
This one time this guy I knew on a forum somewhere didn't have any stories of people failing at being lazy so he tried to get other people to tell their stories of people failing to be lazy.

I won't mention his name because I don't want him to think I'm calling him out.


Also if someone failed at being lazy wouldn't this mean that they were busy all the time?

I shared my story-see the first post of the thread

 timetowaste85 wrote:
You know, the thought did cross my mind that she may have intended to get more items...but really, who goes in expecting to get a lot then walks out with just frozen pizza?

Someone who fully intended to do their grocery shopping and then remembers halfway through that they don't have enough cash available?

 timetowaste85 wrote:

 Ma55ter_fett wrote:
This one time this guy I knew on a forum somewhere didn't have any stories of people failing at being lazy so he tried to get other people to tell their stories of people failing to be lazy.

I won't mention his name because I don't want him to think I'm calling him out.


Also if someone failed at being lazy wouldn't this mean that they were busy all the time?

I shared my story-see the first post of the thread

But there appears to be some disagreement that the woman in your story displayed fail worthy lazyness.

No one mentioned this, but after my wife hurt her back, she liked to get a cart to lean on while she walked around.

 sebster wrote:
The bigger question is why do people buy frozen pizzas? If you can't be bothered making your own pizza (and pizza may well be the easiest meal on Earth to prepare), and even if you don't care about the not-food they call pizza toppings, then you can get basically the same product from one of the chain food stores like Domino's for less money.

While I agree frozen pizza isn't particularly good, it's a lot faster and easier than making you own. If you make your own, you need to buy spaghetti sauce, cheese, and assuming you're going for minimal effort, a roll of Pillsbury pizza dough. These ingredients will be around $10, have no topping, and not taste better than a DiGiorno frozen pizza ($7). Then you have the effort of rolling out the dough, spooning on the sauce, etc, compared with simply opening the package and then removing it from the oven. So, DiGiorno frozen pizza wins on effort and and money, and if you get a nasty-ass tombstone pizza, it competes even better for money since those are like $4 apiece. If you can call that food.

Dominos\Pizza Hut and the other chains are comparable, since the delivery time (lets assume 30 minutes) is the same as baking time. Again, though, they can't compete on price - lets say $10-12 for a small pie, a tip, and possibly a delivery charge (and hell, maybe a $15 minimum order). Again, the DiGiorno is $7 making it a winner if you're feeding one or two people.

The only pizza chain that can compete totally is Little Caesars, which is take out only, but $5 a pie. The ensuing gastrointestinal distress is complimentary.

It still messes with my brain that Americans call pizza 'pie'... Pizza isn't pie. Pie is awesome. Pizza is what a pie would be if you turned it upside down and removed the piebase.

Because it originated as a form of pie... sort of...

Pizza (Italian pronunciation: [ˈpittsa], from the Latin verb pìnsere, to press and from the Greek pēktos, πηκτός, meaning "solid" or "clotted") is Greek in origin (see also pitta). The ancient Greeks covered their bread with oils, herbs and cheese. In Byzantine Greek, the word was spelled πίτα, pita, or πίττα, pitta, meaning pie. The word has also spread to Turkish as pide,[2] and Bulgarian, Croatian and Serbian as pita, Albanian as pite and Modern Hebrew pittāh.[3] The Romans developed placenta, a sheet of dough topped with cheese and honey and flavored with bay leaves. Modern pizza originated in Italy as the Neapolitan pie with tomato. In 1889, cheese was added.

Calling it pizza pie though, is redundant and sort of dumb.

 Ouze wrote:
While I agree frozen pizza isn't particularly good, it's a lot faster and easier than making you own. If you make your own, you need to buy spaghetti sauce, cheese, and assuming you're going for minimal effort, a roll of Pillsbury pizza dough. These ingredients will be around $10, have no topping, and not taste better than a DiGiorno frozen pizza ($7). Then you have the effort of rolling out the dough, spooning on the sauce, etc, compared with simply opening the package and then removing it from the oven. So, DiGiorno frozen pizza wins on effort and and money, and if you get a nasty-ass tombstone pizza, it competes even better for money since those are like $4 apiece. If you can call that food.

Dominos\Pizza Hut and the other chains are comparable, since the delivery time (lets assume 30 minutes) is the same as baking time. Again, though, they can't compete on price - lets say $10-12 for a small pie, a tip, and possibly a delivery charge (and hell, maybe a $15 minimum order). Again, the DiGiorno is $7 making it a winner if you're feeding one or two people.

The only pizza chain that can compete totally is Little Caesars, which is take out only, but $5 a pie. The ensuing gastrointestinal distress is complimentary.

Ah, okay. Over here you can get a Domino's or Pizza Hut for $6 to $7, which is a dollar less than the most basic frozen pizzas.

In this thread: researching why someone would take a cart for one item.

 n0t_u wrote:
Because it originated as a form of pie... sort of...

Pizza (Italian pronunciation: [ˈpittsa], from the Latin verb pìnsere, to press and from the Greek pēktos, πηκτός, meaning "solid" or "clotted") is Greek in origin (see also pitta). The ancient Greeks covered their bread with oils, herbs and cheese. In Byzantine Greek, the word was spelled πίτα, pita, or πίττα, pitta, meaning pie. The word has also spread to Turkish as pide,[2] and Bulgarian, Croatian and Serbian as pita, Albanian as pite and Modern Hebrew pittāh.[3] The Romans developed placenta, a sheet of dough topped with cheese and honey and flavored with bay leaves. Modern pizza originated in Italy as the Neapolitan pie with tomato. In 1889, cheese was added.

Calling it pizza pie though, is redundant and sort of dumb.

And perhaps more importantly, the modern pizza was probably invented in New York, and New York certainly makes the best pizza in the world, so really Americans get to call it whatever they want.