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Okay, here's the deal. A little bit back, I had too much time on my hands, and came up with the list of things that a certain Space Marine was no longer allowed to do, as told to him by his commanders, the Chapter Master, and so forth and so on.

Because I sort of expected that folks would be able to come up with better ideas than me, I have always planned to include others' ideas, as well as my own. So any ideas that fit the rules are included here, along with direct attribution.

The original thread is included here: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/0/561244.page#6219080

Here's the rules:

1. All ideas must clearly concern the Imperium. Things that Traitor Space Marines, or xenos, might do are right out. So, just because the Tau aren't allowed to do something, doesn't mean that it goes on the list.

2. All ideas must SOUND like they could be something somebody who lives a primarily monastic existence might have actually tried, if they happened to be sufficiently nuts, pissed off, and/or desperate. I have no idea what would cause a Space Marine to try firing live orks out of an artillery piece, for instance, but I do know that such things HAVE been done, and for a disturbingly wide variety of reasons.

3. All rules must be clean. Spanking demonettes is about as dirty as I'm willing to get. I don't care if children don't come on the forum. Some of y'all have kids, and kids tend to get into things, and I'm not going to contribute to juvenile delinquency.

4. If you're going to add an extra to an already-existing rule, you must quote the rule.

5. Unless I disappear from the forum (which may happen, since my life could get unexpectedly busy), I get final say on the list. If I remove something from the list, or don't include a suggestion, I have reasons, be they good, bad, or indifferent. If you disagree with me, send me a PM, and argue your case. Most times, I'll explain why. Sometimes...not.

6. If you send me an image illustrating ANY of the rules listed here, or on the other thread, I will post them here, with full credit for awesomeness.

Citation Guidelines:

Inspired by: You said it, I saw it, I thought it looked like a good idea, but had to be re-worked to fit Imperial guidelines as laid down in Article 273b, paragraph XCIX, sub-clause LVII.

Originated by: I kidnapped your idea, abused it horribly, and then fed it to the Astronomicom. Have fun finding your original thought, but I promise, it's in there somewhere.

Credited To: I pretty much copied and pasted your idea. The credit reflects this.

Decreed by: I honestly can't see Space Marines caring about this, but it seems sufficiently innovative to come up before the High Lords of Terra for consideration. There decision, of course, would be propagated throughout Imperium-controlled space...eventually, anyway.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
1. Not allowed to leave skulls rigged with captured plague grenades as "presents" for Khornate berserkers. (--Inspired by chaosvoices--)

2. Mycetic Spores will not fit in Drop Pod launch tubes. (--Credited to chaosvoices--)

3. Vindicators may not be used as field expedient showers, no matter how dirty you are. (--Originated by chaosvoices--)

4. Autocannons, Baneblades, battle barges, Martian hookers, and small guys named Bob to take care of our vehicles” cannot be requisitioned through the Munitorum. One must route a special request chit first. (--Decreed by Happyjew--)
4a. All special request chits require a written clarification as to why the item is desired. (--Decreed by Happyjew--)
4b. In order to ensure smooth transition of a special request chit, it is best to advise your chain of command verbally
before you attempt to order a $147,000 tank. (--Decreed by Happyjew--)
4c. Especially when you are a naval unit. (--Decreed by Happyjew--)
4d. Don't think we didn't notice that little detail.

5. Not allowed to weld a Terminator to a Rhino, no matter how awesome it might be. (--Credited to Raiden--)

6. No longer allowed to use liquified grots as fuel for your bike. (--credited to BladeSwinga--)
6a. No longer allowed to use liquified grots as fuel for your jump pack. (--credited to BladeSwinga--)
6b. No longer allowed to use liquified grots as fuel for any vehicle or piece of equipment in the chapter armory. (--credited to BladeSwinga--)
6c. The above rule is extended to the complete ban of orkoid organisms as a fuel substitute. (--credited to BladeSwinga--)
6d. This ban now also extends to any other xenos species or Chaos daemons/worshipers. (--credited to BladeSwinga--)
6e. Do not make me make a rule about loyal servants of the Emperor. (--credited to BladeSwinga--)
6f. Soylens viridiens is meant for human consumption only. It is not, under any circumstances, to be distilled into an alcoholic beverage, or used as a fuel for vehicles. (--Decreed by Thunderbug--)

7. Kicking a Carnifex in the family jewels is not advisable. Not to mention impossible. Carnifexes are not intended to reproduce, and thus do not have the necessary organs for this maneuver to work. (--Inspired by Jihadin--)
7a. It was a nice try, though. (--Triggered by Jihadin--)

8. There is no such thing as a grot punt. (--Credited to Jihadin--)
(--Reworded from original, but I never could have thought of it--)
8a. No longer allowed to use a shock maul and experience playing hockey gained as a child to perform a slap shot on a grot. (--Inspired by Jihadin--)
(--I want details on this one. It sounds too funny to leave alone--)

9. Grenades really do detonate after five seconds. There is no need to test this.(--Credited to Jihadin--)
(--Reworded from original, but I never could have thought of it--)

10. Thou shall not smack down jet bikes with telephone poles. (--Credited to Jihadin--)
10a. Thou shalt not use any other nearby object to clothesline Eldar on jet bikes. (--Triggered by Jihadin--)

11. No longer allowed to "hitch a ride" on a friendly Titan. (--Originated From KommissarKiln--)

12. No longer allowed to steal Guardsmen's pants and blame "Jean-stealers." (--Credited to DogofWar1--)
12a. Because some puns cannot be forgiven, that's why. (--Triggered by DogofWar1--)

13. No longer allowed to execute a Commissar for cowardice (--Originated from DogofWar1--)

14. If it registers on the Richter scale, it is not acceptable for close combat. (--Credited to DogofWar1--)

15. The Trojan Greater Daemon of Khorne only works once. (--Credited to DogofWar1--)
15a. Not allowed to try the Trojan Greater Daemon of Khorne in front of the Ordo Malleus. (--Triggered by DogofWar1--)
15b. Not allowed to mention the Trojan Greater Daemon of Khorne in front of the Ordo Malleus. (--Triggered by DogofWar1--)
15c. Or any other Inquisitor, for that matter. (--Triggered by DogofWar1--)
15d. Most definitely not allowed to mention the Trojan Greater Daemon of Khorne in front of the Chapter Master. (--Triggered by DogofWar1--)
15e. Not allowed to try any other kind of Trojan Greater Demon. (--Triggered by DogofWar1--)
15f. Taunting the Traitor Space Marines for having fallen for the Trojan Greater Daemon of Khorne is perfectly acceptable, no matter the circumstances. (--Triggered by DogofWar1--)

16. No longer allowed to infiltrate the Skull Harvest. (--Originated from DogofWar1--)

17. Powerfists on rockets is not an acceptable use of Astartes weaponry. (--Credited to DogofWar1--)

18. I will not drop pennies from the top of the Church spire that we are protecting. This goes doubly if there are allies at the bottom. (--Credited to DogofWar1--)

19. No longer allowed to attach blades to a Storm Shield and hurl it like frisbee. (--Inspired by DogofWar1--)
19a. No longer allowed to hurl a Storm Shield like a frisbee, even without attached blades. (--Inspired by DogofWar1--)

20. I am not to take notes while destroying a Dark Eldar facility. (--Credited to DogofWar1--)
20a. Any method of interrogation that makes a watching Dark Eldar throw up is strictly forbidden. (--triggered by DogofWar1--)

21. The probability of using Exterminatus does not necessarily approach one with time. (--Credited to DogofWar1--)
21a. Yes, the Inquisitor was right. You are being overly optimistic. (--Triggered by DogofWar1--)

22. No longer allowed to play hot potato with the enemy using live grenades. (--Credited to DogofWar1--)

23. As a matter of fact gassing an entire planet with RAID does kill the Tyranids. It is still discouraged. (--Credited to DogofWar1--)

24. Collateral Damage only gets ignored when we’re at plan C. (--Credited to DogofWar1--)

25. No longer allowed to challenge the warboss to a yelling contest, and then shove a melta-bomb down his throat. (--Credited to DogofWar1--)

26. No longer allowed to use overheated plasma weapons as grenades. Even if it works. (--Combined from two others, both credited to btldoomhammer--)
26a. Because they're expensive, that's why. And if you do it again, the Tech-Marines are going to eviscerate you. (--Triggered by above--)

27. Chain swords are not a valid ammunition for missle launchers. (--Credited to btldoomhammer--)
27a. Chain swords welded to a frag- or krak missle are still not a valid ammunition for missle launchers. (--Credited to btldoomhammer--)

28. Chapter Serfs aren't to be used to run personal Errands. (--Credited to Ralis--)

29. Having the Chapter Serfs paint your armor Black doesn't make you a Chaplain. Having them paint it Blue doesn't make you a Librarian. It is wrong to tell Initiates that it does. (--Credited to Ralis--)

30. The Codex Astartes is not "a difficult read." (--Credited to Sir Samuel Buca--) (--wow, that is one lazy-ass Space Marine--)

31. Not allowed to challenge a Vindicare Assassin to a lascannon sharp-shooting contest. (--Credited to Elric Greywolf--)

32. No longer allowed to shove Assault Centurions into combat from the open hatch of a speeding Thunderhawk, even though it might work. (--credited to ace101--)
32a. Because he'll have a hard time getting back up (--credited to ace101--)

33. Not allowed to send initiates for "Fallopian Tubes," "Grid Squares," "Chem Light Batteries," or "Elbow Grease". (--credited to MWHistorian and raiden--)

34. You can no longer tie the forces of chaos around your vehicle as meat shields. Doing so taints the machine spirit, and it will look like an enemy vehicle. (--credited to Guardsman Bob--)

35. Guardsmen are not to be used as improvised melee weapons. (--credited to Guardsman Bob--)
35a. Guardsmen are not to be used a improvised ranged weapons. (--credited to Happyjew--)
35b. Just put the guardsman down. (--credited to Happyjew--)

not allowed to wield a terminator onto a rhino no matter how epic or effective? lol.

No longer allowed to use liquified grots as fuel for your bike.
No longer allowed to use liquified grots as fuel for your jump pack.
No longer allowed to use liquified grots as fuel for any vehicle or piece of equipment in the chapter armory.
The above rule is extended to the complete ban of orkoid organisms as a fuel substitute.
It now also extends to any other xenos species or Chaos daemons/worshipers.
Do not make me make a rule about loyal servants of the Emperor.

I believe that's comprehensive enough. Feel free to cut some out if it's too long.

You are not allowed to throw away overheating plasma weapons.
You are not allowed to throw overheating plasma weapons at your enemies even if the resulting explosion would blast them to pieces.

Chain swords are not a valid ammunition for missle launchers.
Chain swords welded to a frag- or krak missle are still not a valid ammunition for missle launchers.
RPCs are an exception from this rule. But they have to be treated as holy relics and are much to badass (and lethal) for normal use.

Chapter Serfs aren't to be used to run personal Errands.

Having the Chapter Serfs paint your armor Black doesn't make you a Chaplain. Having them paint it Blue doesn't make you a Liberian.

Thou Shalt not replace the Libarians Psychic hood with a Hoodie.

The Codex Astartes is not "a difficult read."
No, you cannot read Harry Potter instead.
Harry Potter is heretical.
Unless you are part of the Librarium.
If you'd read the Codex Astartes, you'd know this.

Not allowed to replace our brother Space Wolves' ale with near beer when they visit our chapter.

Not allowed to sing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" while assaulting in a drop pod.

Ditto on singing "The Wheels of the Bus go Round and Round".

108b. Not allowed to challenge a Vindicare Assassin to a lascannon sharp-shooting contest.

Okay, Elric, that last one is really pretty awesomely cool. Is it a lone idea, or is it part of a list? And if it is part of a list, can I post it here?

-No longer allowed to shove Assault Centurions into combat from the open hatch of a speeding Thunderhawk, even though it might work.
-Because he'll have a hard time getting back up

you are not allowed to talk about how great your chapter tactics are in front of the Chaos Marines

Thou shalt not send the newbie for "Fallopian Tubes," "Grid Squares" or "Chem Light Batteries."

You can no longer call guardsmen Cannon Fodder, even if it's true. It hurts moral, and makes the commissar's job that more difficult

You can no longer tie guardsmen(or any other imperial) around your vehicle as meat shields.

You can no longer tie the forces of chaos around your vehicle as meat shields. For if you do, it shall taint the machine spirit, and it will look like an enemy vehicle.

Do not run through cover that allied guardsmen are using.

Guardsmen are not to be used as improvised melee weapons.

 Guardsmen Bob wrote:
Guardsmen are not to be used as improvised melee weapons.

Guardsmen are not to be used a improvised ranged weapons.

Just put the guardsman down.

thou shall not send an initiate on an epic quest to purchase "elbow grease"
- because some take it seriously, we still haven't found Johny yet.

okay, not to be a pain, but what happened to the original Yaep'ie thread?