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Yeah, sounds about right. I have lost all energy and enthusiasm.

I guess im sick of doing what others expect me to do, whilst i have to put what i want to do on a back burners, and its all about money. I need money to do what i want, i thought going through education would help me with this but its just not worth it.

You say "and i study animation which i have no clue about. m just getting tired of it, all this work yet nobody would even notice if i just left and all my work is always fo are no reward, no sense of achievment, nothing.

I consider myself more an artist, ive drawn and done art since before i could walk, its somthine everyone always comments on and i used to win contests back in school. Its what im really into but unfortunettly painting doesnt usually bring in enough money to get set up. "

When I asked what you want to study, you say "Animation and special effects."

It sounds like you're burnt out on Animation or it really isn't your cup of tea.

There are plenty of areas you can get into if you're a talented artist that could earn a decent living. Graphic Design. WebSite Design. I'm no expert in art degrees, though.

Jihadin wrote:Your burnt out with education

it doesn't have to be burn out. I did two jobs and education at the same time. 6-day weeks of 8AM-8PM and another 5 hours on sunday. It was hard, i did suffer from burn-out, but I can sympathise with AtomicEngineer.... its not burnout, its just a feelign that whatever is going on right now is the feeling that its meaningless.

Ive done it for so long, after a while its all you can remember and all i can remember looking back on my life is been tret unfairly, been the quite kid in school who was bullied so much in the end people stopped doing it because everyone started treating my like i had mental problems or somthing, because i was too quiet.

Education has been nothing but a curse in my life, and its all that ive done and i find that very sad. To define my life so far with nothing but pain and suffering, for this payoff that by now wont even cheer me up or worth what i traded for it.

This all could have been brought on by the falling out you had with your so-called friends.

Or you are taking a serious look at your life and realize it's not going the way you want it to go.

Again, I can't tell you what to do. No one on DakkaDakka can. You need to figure it out. But we can offer advice. Maybe you need a big change (new univeristy, join the military) or maybe you need a small change (start hanging out at the Univeristy after class, take a later bus home, get a weekend job, use that weekend job to have a little fun).

I definitely think you need to get out of the house and meet people. It sounds like you're trudging back and forth to school and staying home all day.

worth what i traded for it.

What did you trade for it?

Everything and any hopes and dreams i had, dramatic i know but unfortunettly true. when i started i had hopes and dreams, was confident and loved to make people smile, i saw the best in everything. Now im nothing but a grumpy husk walking around and hating everything, with depression and anxiety. worth it for a good job i wont be able to take because of my anxiety, probably not.

But when i think about making my own path, taking a chance on somthing i know im good at, it feels right. Reignites that feeling i havnt felt in years, but i cant do it living at home, it just wouldnt work. So that would mean taking a big chance and going against all the anxiety and depression build up, and everything education taught me about not standing up for myself.

sorry im just repeating what i keep thinking about. I just wonder what its going to take to change.

Damn it!, im sorry i didnt mean to make this about me, this is supposed to be for all. Ill shut up now.

I'm a big bucket of crazy that only recently feels well put-together. I used to just imagine my little dudes chopping everyone up and it was really therapeutic (I played pure Khorne). I didn't even care if I won or lost, only that I chopped people up. I was suicidal a few months later and it's been a slow trudge up hill since then with a few scares, but it's just the rare off day now. Those sometimes freak me out because I'm afraid I'll relapse and I've "seen the other side" once already, so to speak. There's nothing like feeling that worthless. It's liberating and chaotically fun, but completely wrong at the same time, so hopeless.

On your day off. You need to wake up and lie there. Feel how comfy the pillow is? How warm and toasty the blanket is? Just lay thereand step back from reality and slide back into a power nap if you can. Relax. Get dressed, have breakfest or a cigerette whichever first and go out and about. Look around and see what the city is and how F'ing bad you want to move on. Then look at your well doers in the city...same with them. They're well off but they're in the city...not going any where because their job and money has tied them there. Screw that. Turn that negative energy into motivation to get the Hell outta Dodge Detroit style....WITH A DEGREE!! You have a better chance on starting right.

I like Jihadin's approach.

It seems like you just need to decide what's best for you. Nothing that will be solved in a day, but something you need to work on.

I would say it is extremely hard to "talk/advise" a depressed person out of being depressed. Then again I'm diagnosed bipolar, so I donno.

Some swearing so, NSFW: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ <- when I first read this, so much of it rang so true to me from my experiences.

Jihadin wrote:On your day off. You need to wake up and lie there. Feel how comfy the pillow is? How warm and toasty the blanket is? Just lay thereand step back from reality and slide back into a power nap if you can. Relax. Get dressed, have breakfest or a cigerette whichever first and go out and about. Look around and see what the city is and how F'ing bad you want to move on. Then look at your well doers in the city...same with them. They're well off but they're in the city...not going any where because their job and money has tied them there. Screw that. Turn that negative energy into motivation to get the Hell outta Dodge Detroit style....WITH A DEGREE!! You have a better chance on starting right.

That's pretty great.

Inner motivation. You have to find a focus. Anger is a good motivation tool. Manage your "anger" and just start rationalizing your steps on "getting a stepping". Start browsing the job website and then look up the area a prticualr job that interest you to see your option. Then commit to making it happen. Granted the option might not be there at the end but your halfway through the "tunnel" and there's a sliver of light there. A sliver is something then nothing. Focus on the sliver. As each month pass by the sliver gets BIGGER. Your on a down hill slide as of now. You just have to imagine in biting the bullet in the ass and riding the velocity like a pornstar. Trust your Uncle Sargie Wilkinson. BTW...I do enjoy my coffee....with coffee...I'm a Happy Uncle Sargie Wilky.

I won't go into too much personal detail but I have some bad ups and downs which are partly seasonal related. I wrote a page about it once anonymously but right now I'm too scared to look it up because for all my problems I don't feel so bad so don't need to think about it. I can't relate to my thinking in these periods, all I know it that it all seems rational at the time.

I'm pretty sure depression is related to intelligence. Stupid people are easily pleased, intelligent people are hugely critical of themselves. And if you're a genius you're almost guaranteed a life of misery.

Months after months of classes of prof's saying "what do you think I want you to submit" (except veiled) is very draining. I know how frustrating and futile such a situation can feel, when you can't understand how completing the assignment is relevant to your personal interest and furthering yourself. It just feels like crap when you pay to get berated. The real trick is to dig hunt and fish for the instructors that ask "what do you want to submit?". The evaluation for these types of assignments is brutal, the difference is you really do have a shooting license. You can do whatever you want with these kinds of assignments, so the only thing limiting you is yourself. Whenever I had these kinds of classes, I dreaded the workload, but the ability to do whatever I wanted, take it to the end, and have it be MY work relevant to MY interests was amazing. It's not an amazing paper that I wrote, but I'm still proud of it because I got the highest grade in the class, and was miles ahead of the others. (heck, if anyone wants to read it its about the rampant corruption of the slovak state)

If its possible, I sincerely urge you to look into your next batch of classes, find out which prof's offer what kind of assignments. If they are open-ended, go for it. The measuring stick will be brutal, so you will have to push yourself, but it's rewarding when you get graded on things you thought of on your own initiative, rather than trying to satisfy criteria established by the instructor.

Looking through this, I think the burnt out cocnlusion is the best there, I think you needa break, a holiday somewhere you enjoy.

A week or two, or even a month, just get out enjoy the world, and come back to your course with a fresh mind and it should pick up again.

Yeah, I get serious depression as well. Actually, its more like a combination of panic attacks, anger and the kind of depression that makes it so that you cannot get yourself to do anything. Not fun.

Some_Call_Me_Tim? wrote:Yeah, I get serious depression as well. Actually, its more like a combination of panic attacks, anger and the kind of depression that makes it so that you cannot get yourself to do anything. Not fun.

I'm almost the exact same, due to a combination of an anxiety disorder and general depression. I can motivate myself in brief bursts to do stuff, but I spend most of the day generally feeling sad about myself.

MrDwhitey wrote:I would say it is extremely hard to "talk/advise" a depressed person out of being depressed. Then again I'm diagnosed bipolar, so I donno.

Some swearing so, NSFW: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ <- when I first read this, so much of it rang so true to me from my experiences.

That's actually dangerously accurate. I mean, you just hit that point where you're like, "feth this noise. When things get honestly genuinely bad, I'll just off myself. Up until that point, it's Awesometown, population: This guy."

daedalus wrote:

MrDwhitey wrote:I would say it is extremely hard to "talk/advise" a depressed person out of being depressed. Then again I'm diagnosed bipolar, so I donno.

Some swearing so, NSFW: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ <- when I first read this, so much of it rang so true to me from my experiences.

That's actually dangerously accurate. I mean, you just hit that point where you're like, "feth this noise. When things get honestly genuinely bad, I'll just off myself. Up until that point, it's Awesometown, population: This guy."

That...thats amazing, so true too, i hope i can become invinsible lol

Although i had one of those days recently, rather out of character, i went to univeristy in my black hooded top, headphones on, hood up looking like half angry half didnt give a f*** look, arrived late. Usually i would walk around nervously outside, that day i just burst through the door as he was speaking, unpluged my headphones, still standing of course. Purposly slowly look at everyone, and sat down, had music on in my ears, legs sticking out of side of chair and proceeded not to give a damn for the rest of the day, he was talking about stuff people learn in school. Although i wasnt happy and was still depressed, felt alittle awesome.

Although i had one of those days recently, rather out of character, i went to univeristy in my black hooded top, headphones on, hood up looking like half angry half didnt give a f*** look, arrived late. Usually i would walk around nervously outside, that day i just burst through the door as he was speaking, unpluged my headphones, still standing of course. Purposly slowly look at everyone, and sat down, had music on in my ears, legs sticking out of side of chair and proceeded not to give a damn for the rest of the day, he was talking about stuff people learn in school. Although i wasnt happy and was still depressed, felt alittle awesome.

Thats coming out of "norm" but on a destructive side. Trick is not to draw negative attention to yourself. IMO the perception you need to exude is self confidence in a calm relax manner. Cocky be best to describe it. Not over cocky mind you because being over cocky bites you in the ass. Your starting t get a focus but you haven't center massed it. You need to look at your school work as a hurdle. You can do one of two things....because quitting is not an option....you either need to meet the standards or exceed the standards. I perfer exceeding. Exceeding in a catagory builds confidence. Don't limit yourself there but start going outside the box of conventional thinking. On your next assignment...do it with a flair. Also start migrating away from regular school crowd and establish a couple of buddies that would eventually turn into friends. Here's the trick on that. A buddy has a possibility of a "Blue Falconing" on you example the Facebook scrub. A buddy has to prove him/her self over time to become a friend. Also the money is not really an issue unless you like to use money for "fun coupons". Look at it this way. Money Management. You can get by with less and when you start drawing the paycheck you have the maturity to establish "what you want to what you need. No going over board on big boy toys. Actually that probaly be my next topic to you on making you figure out what its worth to make it to the end.

As for your money perception. I want to throw this out. On deployments I make over 6K tax free a month. Except...what the hell one can buy in a desert? Besides I'm married so I was actually giving myself false hope. So DVD's and creature comfort was my focus....nine pillows does wonders.

AtomicEngineer wrote:
That...thats amazing, so true too, i hope i can become invinsible lol

Although i had one of those days recently, rather out of character, i went to univeristy in my black hooded top, headphones on, hood up looking like half angry half didnt give a f*** look, arrived late. Usually i would walk around nervously outside, that day i just burst through the door as he was speaking, unpluged my headphones, still standing of course. Purposly slowly look at everyone, and sat down, had music on in my ears, legs sticking out of side of chair and proceeded not to give a damn for the rest of the day, he was talking about stuff people learn in school. Although i wasnt happy and was still depressed, felt alittle awesome.

Doesn't quite feel like Awesometown to me, but I guess it's probably different for everyone. Hypothetically, for me, awesometown in that situation would be putting on a suit that day, because suits make me feel like James melon-fething Bond, strolling into class, paying attention, participating every opportunity I'm given, cockily giving ever answer in the most correct (or most humorous) way, and then after class striking up a conversation with the girl in the class who was most attractive to me, and then enjoying the fact that I did something that brought me out of my little shell in a way that can only make life better.

...I also just picked up a bunch of extra suits, for just such an occasion.

Yeah i hear you, was just nice not to be the worrying, over caring, good kid for a change. Was kinda like a screw you day, which is unheard of for me as im usually the shy soft guy. Made me feel good for a change, gave my brain a rest from worrying.

It actually helped with work as well, i wasnt running to uni in panic because i was alittle late, i took my time, no stress build up. And when i got back work didnt feel like all or nothing, it was like meh if i dont get it all done so what. I had a much clearer mind, and could just get on with one bit at a time, instead of looking at the work in a whole giant mess.
and alittle sharp attitude also helps with not been so soft when people say stuff to you or your work gets harshly judged. I find you cant be too soft in life or people walk over you, as i know.

I was the centre of my world for a day.

Made me feel good for a day. Just wish i could have alittle bit of that attitude everyday, instead of out of energy i had angry face it head on attitude. Epic war charge!

Fresh air and exercise is your friend

There no place around where i live to get out and go for a walk or jog, theres just roads lol and its quite dangerous around here as it is.
Theres already been afew murders in the last few days a mear 10 minutes away lol

AtomicEngineer wrote:There no place around where i live to get out and go for a walk or jog, theres just roads lol and its quite dangerous around here as it is.
Theres already been afew murders in the last few days a mear 10 minutes away lol

so your walk turns into a run, that is actually better

haha yeah XD

AtomicEngineer wrote:Yeah, sounds about right. I have lost all energy and enthusiasm.

I guess im sick of doing what others expect me to do, whilst i have to put what i want to do on a back burners, and its all about money. I need money to do what i want, i thought going through education would help me with this but its just not worth it.

Maybe you should "occupy" someplace.

Exercise and social interaction are the natural enemies of depression.

Go do something with someone.

Monster Rain wrote:
Exercise and social interaction are the natural enemies of depression.

Go do something with someone.

Or combine exercise and social interaction by following the latter part of MR's advice literally

Join the military and go play desert marine?