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I disagree, it would be hugely entertaining.

DO IT NOW!

FabricatorGeneralMike wrote:
My GF... Her grandson...

Man that caught me off guard I keep assuming everyone on this site is a teenager by default, with a few late-30s/early 40s sprinkled in. Keep up the good work

I agree with many of the posts in here thus far.

My girl (were due to be married this year or next, still not sure yet, it's a visa issue, anyways) I told her upfront, I play video games, I play WH40k. I showed her and explained what that means and that it will never go away and that she should never ask that of me. If she can't handle or understand that about me, then we should just go our separate ways and wish each other luck.

Luckily, in my case. She loves my mini's and wants to get her own army to paint and play with. So I lucked out. She's not much of a video-gamer though, but I'm working on that. But still, 1 out of 2 off the bat isn't bad.

In your case however, she's a bitch.
"Oh my ex was this & that."
"So the feth what?! I'm not your ex ."

Yes, I understand this probably isn't going to seal the deal but man it feels good to put them in their place when they're acting like whiny little brats...well if you already know and can see the ship is sinking, might as well say what you really want to say.

I'm glad my girl understands me.

Best of luck in your search.

I appreciate it perhaps being annoying but the filter is there to stop people bandying around terms we don't want used on the site.

Thanks

reds8n

Howard A Treesong wrote:

sennacherib wrote:

Ahtman wrote:OP, we need you to have her make an account on Dakka and post her side so we can get further insight to the situation.

I thought about sending her a link to this discussion so she could get some impartial feedback.

Why don't we skip a step and you give me her phone number. I'll giver her all the impartial feedback she needs.

@fexor: Rule #3: Don't burn bridges. This is mainly true because then it ruins any chance OP would have with any of her friends, while also confirming the whole man-child notion that she was more or less accusing him of possibly being. The more positive feedback you have out there, the more you win.

Fexor wrote:I showed her and explained what that means and that it will never go away and that she should never ask that of me. If she can't handle or understand that about me, then we should just go our separate ways and wish each other luck.

Just to pick this out as an example (others have made the same claim), I find it hard to understand the position that you would choose gaming over a woman.

Perhaps it's more about acceptance of a person than about the hobby. If my wife asked me to give up gaming I would do so in a heartbeat. Then again, I would have a problem with her asking me to give up gaming.

When I was getting to know my girlfriend (went down the friend route first), I bonded with her by getting her to play 'simple' games on my PC. She'd never really gamed but she loved Fable 'n' Fallout 'n' whatnot.

I find that girls like games that give you choices, customisation and have a large focus on interaction. Anything by BioWare (if they can work the controls), or Bethesda, or any other game that focuses on conversations, good/evil alignments and yaddy yadda will go down well. She rather liked L.A. Noire too despite hating murder mysteries.

If you want to get around the video game problem, just introduce them to a girl early on enough when she's still trying to impress you; thataway she will make efforts to leave her comfort zone in order to please you and may find games to not be all that threatening. Despite hating how her brother is with CoD, my girlfriend will happily let me play Battlefield to my heart's content because she knows that, at the end of the day, she comes first and games aren't some daemon that eat up a man's time (necessarily).

Henners91 wrote:...she knows that, at the end of the day, she comes first and games aren't some daemon that eat up a man's time (necessarily).

It doesn't have to be games. Sometimes women just want you to sit and stare at them while they do something that bores you to tears. Hell, you could be studying history or curing cancer and if they're feeling needy they'll complain about it (or keep quiet then cry later).

mattyrm wrote:Dress in a suit, have a shave, go round her house with flowers and tell her you sold all your minis, burned all your old clothes and gave up the culture because she is so important to you. Keep this up until you seal the deal, be sure to drop your suit jacket and trousers at the foot of the bed and ensure the last sexual position of the evening is doggy.

Enabling you to quickly whip your accessories from your discarded clothing while still behind her.

And lo, when she glances behind her, you have placed half a tactical squad and some slugga boyz on her back, and your rolling to wound across her shoulder blades. She recoils and turns fully around to see you sporting an adhesive ginger neck beard, several piercings and a Pantera shirt.

Bask in the win.. then get another bird!

I am not worthy only of acknowledging the greatness of this post.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote: Sometimes women just want you to sit and stare at them while they do something that bores you to tears.

The ability to tune out 99% of what is happenign and focus on your own world, while still being aware enough to recall and repeat the last two sentences you heard is an evolutionary adaption that will allow you to spread your beneficial genes.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:

Henners91 wrote:...she knows that, at the end of the day, she comes first and games aren't some daemon that eat up a man's time (necessarily).

It doesn't have to be games. Sometimes women just want you to break into their houses and sit and stare at them while they sleep ...................................

There, fixed it for you.

Tip: Don't do it too often though, you don't want to creep her out or anything.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:@fexor: Rule #3: Don't burn bridges. This is mainly true because then it ruins any chance OP would have with any of her friends, while also confirming the whole man-child notion that she was more or less accusing him of possibly being. The more positive feedback you have out there, the more you win.

You are of course assuming, that:
A) He know's any of her friends.
B) He would want to be with any of her friends.
C) That they walk in similar circles. (ie. hangout at similar places, bars, restaurants, etc.)

If all that IS true, then yeah you have a point.

However, if it's not true, then letting her see the light of her mistake on the way out of the door isn't going to hurt anything. Not to mention he already does something she doesn't like. What positive spin is she going to put on anything she says to anyone she knows? She will always cast a negative light on that side of him to any of her girlfriends until she gets over that baggage she's carrying around. And if they don't travel in the same circles, she can't possibly have impact on his life unless she's trying to actively pursue and ruin him in which case she has more problems that he should avoid anyways.

She might say, "he's an awesome guy, but... he's a gamer." There's always that negative note until she realizes not every 'gamer' is like her ex.

We could have a whole philosophical debate about human response/nature and each individual is different, but I'm going with a general mold of human interactions.

edit: Also to note, he doesn't have to say what I said, the way I said it. You can say the same thing and say it in a nice way that won't have her walking away seething poison about you to any ear that'll listen.

biccat wrote:

Fexor wrote:I showed her and explained what that means and that it will never go away and that she should never ask that of me. If she can't handle or understand that about me, then we should just go our separate ways and wish each other luck.

Just to pick this out as an example (others have made the same claim), I find it hard to understand the position that you would choose gaming over a woman.

Perhaps it's more about acceptance of a person than about the hobby. If my wife asked me to give up gaming I would do so in a heartbeat. Then again, I would have a problem with her asking me to give up gaming.

You kind of answered your own question.

Why would you need to change who you are for someone else? Why wouldn't that person accept you are for who you are?

I understand if you're addicted and neglectful or something similar. But to ask me to just flat out stop doing something I enjoy and has been apart of my life alot longer than said individual has is kind of ridiculous, especially if it's just because she doesn't like it or doesn't understand it.
Now, on the other hand if my girl says she wants to go out and see a movie or do something or talk with her and I'm playing a game at the time, I more than gladly get off and spend time with her. I don't place those things above her, but for her to ask me to give them up altogether is something I'm not willing to do. I'm not going to stop being me just to be with someone; because then I'm not happy just because she is. Which means I'll grow to resent her and will probably end in divorce.

(I'm not stating these things as if they apply directly to you I'm just talking in general terms. By the way, this isn't angry and sorry if it sounded that way.)

For the record, all women are friends and the moment you do something regret-worthy in front of one it will come up later at some point. Fortunately that works for positive feedback too. Even then, there are nicer ways if he just wanted to point out how he felt she acted. At the moment I don't think the girl did anything wrong whatsoever. OP doesn't seem horribly upset either, and I'm sure he'll alpha his way onto someone else more satisfactory soon enough

Fexor wrote:Why would you need to change who you are for someone else? Why wouldn't that person accept you are for who you are?

Fexor wrote:Now, on the other hand if my girl says she wants to go out and see a movie or do something or talk with her and I'm playing a game at the time, I more than gladly get off and spend time with her.

Don't look know but you just changed for someone else. We all change things based on outside agents to some degree or another, and it isn't inherently a bad thing either. Who you are and what you do are tied together. This isn't limited to romantic relationships, but all relationships.