Switch Theme:

Parenting Frazzled style  [RSS] Share on facebook Share on Twitter Submit to Reddit
»
Author Message
Advert


Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:
  • No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
  • Times and dates in your local timezone.
  • Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
  • Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
  • Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.
If you are already a member then feel free to login now.




Made in us
Infiltrating Prowler





wocka flocka rocka shocka

Andrew1975 wrote:
illuknisaa wrote:I fight with my dad all the time and most cases fights are about similiar things like in op's video. While parent's actions seem to be justified he forgets one little thing his daughter had no choice over her life. It is her parents who chose to have a child, chose to give her food, roof on top of her head and a laptop. And they did this because they wanted to. It is like you donated food to a hungry person and after you have second thoughts you demand the food back. Your child has no obligaltion to do anything you want them do or give any respect.


You know this is the exact overindulgent entitled teen attitude that is the cause of so many child "disappearances". Your child has no obligaltion to do anything you want them do or give any respect. Yeah well neither do parents for that matter besides "the basics". But they do or should and so should their children.

My parents and I fought because the didn't trust me because some of my siblings were donkey caves. I never did anything wrong, well not that they knew of, yet they still tried to treat me like I was in the gulag. That led to a lot of fights because I came home late intentionally, (10 o'clock really? I'm a Junior in Highschool the game isn't even over by then) just to show them I was fine and could handle it. You know what, all that time, you better believe I still did all my chores. We both knew we respected and loved each other and did more than fulfill our obligations to each other. Just because you don't see eye to eye on one subject is no reason to ruin a relationship with your family.


there's too much spoiling going on in today's society.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
what I mean is, all these kids act like their parents owe them, but are totally useless around the house, yet ask for an allowanc and expensive material goods.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/02/11 08:40:57


captain fantastic wrote: Seems like this thread is all that's left of Remilia Scarlet (the poster).



wait, what? Σ(・□・;) 
   
Made in us
Dwarf High King with New Book of Grudges




United States

remilia_scarlet wrote:let this be the wake-up call that too many kids are being disrespectful gaks on the internet behind their backs....


As opposed to doing the same IRL?

Personally, I've found that many adults who feel they deserve respect can't demonstrate any reason to convey it.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/02/11 08:47:36


Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. 
   
Made in us
Infiltrating Prowler





wocka flocka rocka shocka

dogma wrote:
remilia_scarlet wrote:let this be the wake-up call that too many kids are being disrespectful gaks on the internet behind their backs....


As opposed to doing the same IRL?

Personally, I've found that many adults who feel they deserve respect can't demonstrate any reason to convey it.


ah,yes, the other side of the coin: parents as bad as their kids.

captain fantastic wrote: Seems like this thread is all that's left of Remilia Scarlet (the poster).



wait, what? Σ(・□・;) 
   
Made in us
Big Fat Gospel of Menoth





The other side of the internet

The man was livid. He also must be a chronomancer since he apparently went to college and high school simultaneously while working two jobs and volunteering as a firefighter all on his own. At very least the modern time requirements for those make it somewhere around a 30-35 hour day.

That said, I have mixed feelings about how he handled it. He made his point and she hopefully learned the lesson this time. At the same time, I wonder the point of getting that mad. We all vent and bitch about the boss. And to kids parents are the boss. Was she rude? yes. Was she exaggerating? yes. Was she doing something that no one else has done at 15? no. She's growing up and that means doing stupid stuff.

@ illukanisaa: Respect is earned, not given. Obedience and respect are far different circles. I will not go into specifics, but personal experience dictates that the two are not mutually inclusive. Obedience from fear leads to hatred. Obedience given with respect leads to love.

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

RAGE

Be sure to use logic! Avoid fallacies whenever possible.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fallacies 
   
Made in fi
Battlewagon Driver with Charged Engine





somewhere in the northern side of the beachball

Surtur wrote:The man was livid. He also must be a chronomancer since he apparently went to college and high school simultaneously while working two jobs and volunteering as a firefighter all on his own. At very least the modern time requirements for those make it somewhere around a 30-35 hour day.

That said, I have mixed feelings about how he handled it. He made his point and she hopefully learned the lesson this time. At the same time, I wonder the point of getting that mad. We all vent and bitch about the boss. And to kids parents are the boss. Was she rude? yes. Was she exaggerating? yes. Was she doing something that no one else has done at 15? no. She's growing up and that means doing stupid stuff.

@ illukanisaa: Respect is earned, not given. Obedience and respect are far different circles. I will not go into specifics, but personal experience dictates that the two are not mutually inclusive. Obedience from fear leads to hatred. Obedience given with respect leads to love.


Well you said it better than I did. Too bad many parents don't.

Every time I hear "in my opinion" or "just my opinion" makes me want to strangle a puppy. People use their opinions as a shield that other poeple can't critisize and that is bs.

If you can't defend or won't defend your opinion then that "opinion" is bs. Stop trying to tip-toe and defend what you believe in. 
   
Made in se
Longtime Dakkanaut





Gothenburg

At the same time, I wonder the point of getting that mad.

If you thought he was mad you will probably faint from shock when you happen to see someone actually raising their voice.

Salamanders W-78 D-55 L-22
Pure Grey Knights W-18 D-10 L-5
Orks W-9 D-6 L-14
 
   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






Mesopotamia. The Kingdom Where we Secretly Reign.

In regard to this thread: tl;dr

In regard to the OP:

That guy is awesome.

Drink deeply and lustily from the foamy draught of evil.
W: 1.756 Quadrillion L: 0 D: 2
Haters gon' hate. 
   
Made in us
Big Fat Gospel of Menoth





The other side of the internet

Pyriel- wrote:
At the same time, I wonder the point of getting that mad.

If you thought he was mad you will probably faint from shock when you happen to see someone actually raising their voice.


Oh my, I do delcare I be gettin the vapors! *faints*

Seriously though, he was madder than he led on. The stuttering was the big tip off. As well, the tone and mannerisms indicated anger. He was controlling his anger, but it was definitely there. Raising your voice isn't the real key to anger.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
@ illuknisaa: I believe I actually meant that comment for someone else, but I can't remember who now. I got confused and put your name instead by accident or I misread your post.

:X

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/02/12 11:28:44


(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

RAGE

Be sure to use logic! Avoid fallacies whenever possible.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fallacies 
   
Made in dk
Ork-Hunting Inquisitorial Xenokiller





Aarhus, Denmark

So uhm... How is she supposed to watch the video, when her dad shot her laptop dead? O.o

:: I'm not suffering from insanity; I'm enjoying every minute of it! :: 
   
Made in us
Hangin' with Gork & Mork






Billinator wrote:So uhm... How is she supposed to watch the video, when her dad shot her laptop dead? O.o


Do you think that was the only computer in that household?

Amidst the mists and coldest frosts he thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.
 
   
Made in us
Legendary Master of the Chapter





Chicago, Illinois

Sounds like a lovely video. You should see the response videos with it. Like there was an army reponse. And some jerks were talking about how people are tools of the government blah.
They guy did a punishment routine. I think the kid deserved everything she got.

From whom are unforgiven we bring the mercy of war. 
   
Made in gb
Lord Commander in a Plush Chair





Beijing

We have her message, and his claims, and a gulf in between. Ultimately we have a guy somewhat struggling to deal with a rebellious kid. I wonder where she gets her attitude from given that he shoots things up to make a point.


Surtur wrote:The man was livid. He also must be a chronomancer since he apparently went to college and high school simultaneously while working two jobs and volunteering as a firefighter all on his own. At very least the modern time requirements for those make it somewhere around a 30-35 hour day.






   
Made in us
Hangin' with Gork & Mork






Howard A Treesong wrote:We have her message, and his claims, and a gulf in between.


Howard A Treesong wrote:I wonder where she gets her attitude from given that he shoots things up to make a point.


You even recognize there is a gulf and then you want to jump into it yourself?

Amidst the mists and coldest frosts he thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.
 
   
Made in gb
Lord Commander in a Plush Chair





Beijing

Ahtman wrote:
Howard A Treesong wrote:We have her message, and his claims, and a gulf in between.


Howard A Treesong wrote:I wonder where she gets her attitude from given that he shoots things up to make a point.


You even recognize there is a gulf and then you want to jump into it yourself?


What's your point? I'm not saying who gives the more accurate account, only that both appear quite headstrong.
   
Made in dk
Ork-Hunting Inquisitorial Xenokiller





Aarhus, Denmark

Ahtman wrote:
Billinator wrote:So uhm... How is she supposed to watch the video, when her dad shot her laptop dead? O.o


Do you think that was the only computer in that household?

I take it, you didn't catch the irony?

:: I'm not suffering from insanity; I'm enjoying every minute of it! :: 
   
Made in us
Hangin' with Gork & Mork






Howard A Treesong wrote:What's your point? I'm not saying who gives the more accurate account, only that both appear quite headstrong.


That you pointed out we don't really have enough information to make reasonable conclusions and then you tried to make a statement on the situation without enough information.

Billinator wrote:
Ahtman wrote:
Billinator wrote:So uhm... How is she supposed to watch the video, when her dad shot her laptop dead? O.o


Do you think that was the only computer in that household?

I take it, you didn't catch the irony?


I take you you didn't realize there wasn't any there? Which is also not an ironic observation, either.

Amidst the mists and coldest frosts he thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.
 
   
Made in us
Longtime Dakkanaut





I think that this was not only a level-headed and reasonable response to a teenager venting, it's also extremely effective. Of all possible ways to address a problem behavior, strict punishment is the least likely to produce further desire for a youth to rebel. Finally, I think it teaches important lessons about how the appropriate reaction to feeling disrespected is destruction and the use of firearms.

All-in-all this is the single most reasonable, effective and mature way he could have reacted.

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2012/02/12 23:53:15


 
   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






Mesopotamia. The Kingdom Where we Secretly Reign.

I doubt the sincerity of the above statement.

Drink deeply and lustily from the foamy draught of evil.
W: 1.756 Quadrillion L: 0 D: 2
Haters gon' hate. 
   
Made in se
Longtime Dakkanaut





Gothenburg

Seriously though, he was madder than he led on. The stuttering was the big tip off.

Seriously? Ok then...

Seriously you aren´t a psychologist with credentials enough to make such a statement and seriously simply being in front of a camera makes people nervous and stutter.

All-in-all this is the single most reasonable, effective and mature way he could have reacted.

Going to his FB site and reading about how the story unfolded and what happened between him and his daughter afterwards is great fun.

Basically, yes, it was the best thing he could have done and it worked wonders.

Salamanders W-78 D-55 L-22
Pure Grey Knights W-18 D-10 L-5
Orks W-9 D-6 L-14
 
   
Made in gb
Lord Commander in a Plush Chair





Beijing

Ahtman wrote:
Howard A Treesong wrote:What's your point? I'm not saying who gives the more accurate account, only that both appear quite headstrong.


That you pointed out we don't really have enough information to make reasonable conclusions and then you tried to make a statement on the situation without enough information.


Actually I pointed out the disparity in their accounts of home life, I didn't rule out any conclusions being drawn at all. I don't see that as being incompatible with the observation that making a video of shooting stuff up as a means to discipline might suggest that both are quite strong personalities. It seems a bit of a stretch for you to try and make an issue out of it.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Pyriel- wrote:
Seriously though, he was madder than he led on. The stuttering was the big tip off.

Seriously? Ok then...

Seriously you aren´t a psychologist with credentials enough to make such a statement and seriously simply being in front of a camera makes people nervous and stutter.

All-in-all this is the single most reasonable, effective and mature way he could have reacted.


Or he's not rehearsed/reading from a script. Talking continuously for 8 minutes or whatever and stumbling a few times isn't necessarily a sign he's shaking with fury. It's a lot more coherent than many Youtube videos anyway.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/02/13 00:19:36


 
   
Made in us
Nihilistic Necron Lord




The best State-Texas

illuknisaa wrote:I fight with my dad all the time and most cases fights are about similiar things like in op's video. While parent's actions seem to be justified he forgets one little thing his daughter had no choice over her life. It is her parents who chose to have a child, chose to give her food, roof on top of her head and a laptop. And they did this because they wanted to. It is like you donated food to a hungry person and after you have second thoughts you demand the food back. Your child has no obligaltion to do anything you want them do or give any respect.



Sounds like the typical entitled attitude of children in this day and age. Maybe someday you'll grow up.

4000+
6000+ Order. Unity. Obedience.
Thousand Sons 4000+
:Necron: Necron Discord: https://discord.com/invite/AGtpeD4  
   
Made in us
Hangin' with Gork & Mork






Howard A Treesong wrote: It seems a bit of a stretch for you to try and make an issue out of it.


It seems like a stretch becuase I am not making an issue out of it and you are trying to see it that way. I was agreeing that, fundamentally, we don't have enough information. I was just ribbing you a little becuase immediately after stating there was a huge gap in information you started trying to draw conclusions. It was the proximity of the two statements I found amusing, but not in a bad or mean way. I have tossed in my thoughts on the subject as well so I am I just as guilty. You apparently took it as some sort of accusation or inferred a mean spiritedness that wasn't there.

Amidst the mists and coldest frosts he thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.
 
   
Made in gb
Lord Commander in a Plush Chair





Beijing

Fair enough
   
Made in au
Rampaging Khorne Dreadnought




Wollongong, Australia

Good for him, I support him. His kid is a spoilt brat.

 
   
Made in us
Regular Dakkanaut




As a parent, I generally agree with how he handled this situation.

1. Punishment was promised for continued bad behavior.
2. Subject gets caught continuing bad behavior.
3. Punishment is meted out.

This isn't just a model for parenting, this is how society operates as well. Better to learn such lessons as a child where the punishment isn't long lasting and far reaching.

That said, I think shooting the laptop was a bit much, but that's mostly because I'm cheap and hate to see such a waste.

I didn't see it mentioned here, but the father found out when checking the family dog's facebook page. You see, the family has a facebook page for their dog. The daughter, in her infinite wisdom, blocked her family from her facebook page, but forgot to block the dog. When posting some new pictures to the dog's page, the father noticed the daughters update, and was able to read what she posted.

For those thinking that he shouldn't have posted this to her FB wall, I'm of mixed feelings. On the one hand, I'm not the type of person who enjoys airing dirty laundry to the public. On the other hand, if my child decides to pick a fight in a public space, it's likely that I will respond in the same venue. So I suppose I might have done something similar.
   
Made in us
Warplord Titan Princeps of Tzeentch





Andrew1975 wrote:That led to a lot of fights because I came home late intentionally, (10 o'clock really? I'm a Junior in Highschool the game isn't even over by then) just to show them I was fine and could handle it.



illuknisaa wrote:Your child has no obligaltion to do anything you want them do or give any respect.

Of course they do.

Your parents have an obligation to raise you in a safe and nurturing environment and teach you how to be an adult. You have an obligation to treat them with respect and trust and obey them.

When you are able to pay for your own living space and food you are an adult. Then you can treat other adults (including your parents) however you want.

As for the bit about parents having kids for their own benefit...just no.

text removed by Moderation team. 
   
Made in us
Dwarf High King with New Book of Grudges




United States

biccat wrote:
Your parents have an obligation to raise you in a safe and nurturing environment and teach you how to be an adult. You have an obligation to treat them with respect and trust and obey them.

When you are able to pay for your own living space and food you are an adult. Then you can treat other adults (including your parents) however you want.


Shockingly, a parent-child relationship is not based on the equal exchange of services. Parents are obligated to their children by way of legal consequences, children are also obligated to their parents by legal consequences (ie. don't murder dad) but not in the sense of being required to trust, respect, or obey them.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/02/14 20:01:04


Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. 
   
Made in gb
Sadistic Inquisitorial Excruciator





Glasgow

Your child has no obligaltion to do anything you want them do or give any respect.


This is why teenage delinquency is such a huge problem in the UK (in my experience). Kids have no concept of respect these day and assume they deserve everything. This is why we have these sub-human, slum/ghetto animals running around, rioting, acting like they own the place. Murder, violence, mugging, thievery...they are all the same.

If kids have no obligation for respect...well if I was the parent, I would toss his ass out when I was legally able to, and shut down all support to him. Doesnt need me? Fine, live on the street then scum.

 
   
Made in us
Dwarf High King with New Book of Grudges




United States

Mr Hyena wrote:
If kids have no obligation for respect...well if I was the parent, I would toss his ass out when I was legally able to, and shut down all support to him. Doesnt need me? Fine, live on the street then scum.


So, basically, your kid should respect you absent any evidence that you deserve respect, despite being created by your whim or accident?

Simply being a parent does not make you deserving of respect, you must demonstrate that you are by your actions that extend beyond procreation, at which point obligation comes into play...maybe.

Though I do find it funny that you're complaining about entitlement while expressing what seems to be a sense of entitlement.

"These damn kids think they're so entitled to things. But God damn it, I deserve respect!"

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/02/14 23:27:00


Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. 
   
Made in gb
Sadistic Inquisitorial Excruciator





Glasgow

I think supporting kids and providing for them while teaching life lessons is worthy of respect.

 
   
 
Forum Index » Off-Topic Forum
Go to: