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Thanks guys. I'm currently working on adding more movement to the conzersation, as well as changing a large degree of the dialogue to less
"do it"
"no"
"utll be cool"
"ok"
To
"I'm bored, and your about to attack a wOrld, so il send you way over there."
"who are you"
"a chaos god"
"the emperor is the only god"
"what evs"
"*insert swear words*"
" are you still here go away."

I should probably just make a thread titled
" I suck at writing but like writing, tell me what need improve in this paragraph."


Automatically Appended Next Post:
 The "ground" below Argus' feet mirrored the rest of his surrounding, pitch and perfect black. And yet, a presence hung thick in the air, like a thousand eyes were centered on him. More for comfort then anything else, Argus drew his pistol. 
"you'll not need that, astartes." 
The voice was heavy with sadistic enjoyment, and seemed to come from every where and nowhere. But it was horribly familiar, it was the voice of his chapter master, the shrouded lord. Only, it wasn't. The voice had been distorted, as though via VOX, and resonated through Argos flesh. Whipping his head from side to side, Argos could see nothing. " where am I?!" he shouted into the black, and, impossibly, his voice echoed. 
"well, that's an original question" the voice was dripped with sarcasm, confirming that it was not that of his chapter master. 
" what is this? Some xeno trick? Show your self?" clearly this was the work of eldar, he was sure of it. 
"no astartes, I assure you, I am no eldar." 
A chill went up Argus' spine, not of fear, but a literal chill. His mind was being breached. He shook his head, as tough to shake away the psycher's grip. So, this was... What? Not eldar, no. They were the chapter's allies. For what that meant... 
Perhaps, then, this was some form of test to his loyalty, that would explain the voice.
"I take this voice because my true voice would cause your ears to bleed, and your sanity to break." 
Argus decided he would ignore the voice, look for it's source. He scanned the darkness, his pupi dilating as his eyed tried to adapt to the shifting darkness. 
" DO NOT TRY TO SEE ME! IF MY VOICE DRIVES YOU MAD MY FORM WILL CAUSE YOUR BODY TO VAPOUISE!"  
Argus stopped trying to make out the darkness, but if looking that way was where the xenos form was. Argus grabbed his chainsword and charges forwards. " DIE FELL BEAST!" he shouted as he cleaved into the flesh of his enemy. Only, there was no flesh. He charged forwards, for one second, for ten, thirty. And all the while that dark voice bellowed in laughter. "FOOL! I AM IMMORTAL! YOU HOME TO KILL AND IMMORTAL?"
" IF YOU BLEED, I CAN KILL YOU, for only the emperor is truly immortal!"
" ah yes, the emperor, he matters not." rage boiled in Argos' blood. The emperor, not only questioned, but out right IGNORED? argus thought down the obscenities that came to mind. He was hardened in battle, but sharp of the mind. He realised that he had no power here, where ever here was... 
"hmm... There may be hope for you yet. I am a god. You have met my brother's followers before, khorne." 
 Indeed he had, just a century prior, half of the forsaken knights had remounted their oaths to the emperor, and led by the traitor lucien-the-weeping, had turned to the chaos god khorne. If this being was a chaos god, Argos had no hope, he would die here. 
"so, what do you want from me, information? I'l never talk!" 
" INSOLENCE! IF I WANTED INFORMATION I WOULD PLUCK KT FROM YOUR HEAD! no, I have other plans. Namely, I think it would be funny if I send you to the other side of the sector, hmm? Sound like fun?" the voice was heavy with amusement. 
There had to be something more. 
" have fun." the voice said. And a White flash blinded Argus. 
" I WILL COME FOR YOU DAEMON! TELL ME YOUR NAME!" 
 The voice bellowed with laughter "I am malice, I shall await you!" 

Revised version. I don't know about the end... Any ideas? Thoughts? Suggestions?

One thing that will help you is understanding the nature of good and evil. Those concepts are based entirely upon your point of view. Let's take Khorne as an example.

From Khorne's perspective, good is when blood flows and evil is when it isn't. He's very black and white that way. When a space marine force assaults a planet whose governor has rebelled, blood will flow which Khorne considers a very good thing. Therefore, unknowingly, the marines are doing Khorne's bidding.

The marines, on the other hand, see the governor as evil for rebelling against the emperor. The governor sees the marines as evil because they are killing his people when all they want is to be left alone.

So, is there a "good" daemon? Absolutely. They all are depending upon your point of view. Incidentally this is the number one problem that the inquisition faces. A new inquisitor has clear lines they won't cross, such as working with daemons, because they "know" that's evil. Over time that inquisitor's opinion of right and wrong change radically and they begin using whatever tools they can in order to enforce imperial rule including usage of daemon hosts and cults.

Getting to your story concept: Tzeentch, for example, could very well enlist the aid of a marine to stop an invasion, especially if it meant frustrating the plans of one of the other gods. The others would do likewise. In existing fluff this has happened when a marine chapter master prayed to the Emperor asking for the ability to tell when people were lying. Unfortunately Tzeentch was listening in and granted the wish for that entire chapter. Shortly thereafter that chapter completely rebelled as they realized they were being lied to by everyone one on the imperium. ( source: codex CSM ). Who is evil in that story? All, or none, depending upon your point of view.

The soul drinkers books are an interesting read as they are a chapter that fell to chaos, but thought they were the good guys all along. Great bit of writing. I won't spoil the ending.

So, kudos for attempting your writing project. It's a good subject to explore.

 the shrouded lord wrote:
Thanks guys. I'm currently working on adding more movement to the conzersation, as well as changing a large degree of the dialogue to less
"do it"
"no"
"utll be cool"
"ok"
To
"I'm bored, and your about to attack a wOrld, so il send you way over there."
"who are you"
"a chaos god"
"the emperor is the only god"
"what evs"
"*insert swear words*"
" are you still here go away."

I should probably just make a thread titled
" I suck at writing but like writing, tell me what need improve in this paragraph."


Automatically Appended Next Post:
 The "ground" below Argus' feet mirrored the rest of his surrounding, pitch and perfect black. And yet, a presence hung thick in the air, like a thousand eyes were centered on him. More for comfort then anything else, Argus drew his pistol. 
"you'll not need that, astartes." 
The voice was heavy with sadistic enjoyment, and seemed to come from every where and nowhere. But it was horribly familiar, it was the voice of his chapter master, the shrouded lord. Only, it wasn't. The voice had been distorted, as though via VOX, and resonated through Argos flesh. Whipping his head from side to side, Argos could see nothing. " where am I?!" he shouted into the black, and, impossibly, his voice echoed. 
"well, that's an original question" the voice was dripped with sarcasm, confirming that it was not that of his chapter master. 
" what is this? Some xeno trick? Show your self?" clearly this was the work of eldar, he was sure of it. 
"no astartes, I assure you, I am no eldar." 
A chill went up Argus' spine, not of fear, but a literal chill. His mind was being breached. He shook his head, as tough to shake away the psycher's grip. So, this was... What? Not eldar, no. They were the chapter's allies. For what that meant... 
Perhaps, then, this was some form of test to his loyalty, that would explain the voice.
"I take this voice because my true voice would cause your ears to bleed, and your sanity to break." 
Argus decided he would ignore the voice, look for it's source. He scanned the darkness, his pupi dilating as his eyed tried to adapt to the shifting darkness. 
" DO NOT TRY TO SEE ME! IF MY VOICE DRIVES YOU MAD MY FORM WILL CAUSE YOUR BODY TO VAPOUISE!"  
Argus stopped trying to make out the darkness, but if looking that way was where the xenos form was. Argus grabbed his chainsword and charges forwards. " DIE FELL BEAST!" he shouted as he cleaved into the flesh of his enemy. Only, there was no flesh. He charged forwards, for one second, for ten, thirty. And all the while that dark voice bellowed in laughter. "FOOL! I AM IMMORTAL! YOU HOME TO KILL AND IMMORTAL?"
" IF YOU BLEED, I CAN KILL YOU, for only the emperor is truly immortal!"
" ah yes, the emperor, he matters not." rage boiled in Argos' blood. The emperor, not only questioned, but out right IGNORED? argus thought down the obscenities that came to mind. He was hardened in battle, but sharp of the mind. He realised that he had no power here, where ever here was... 
"hmm... There may be hope for you yet. I am a god. You have met my brother's followers before, khorne." 
 Indeed he had, just a century prior, half of the forsaken knights had remounted their oaths to the emperor, and led by the traitor lucien-the-weeping, had turned to the chaos god khorne. If this being was a chaos god, Argos had no hope, he would die here. 
"so, what do you want from me, information? I'l never talk!" 
" INSOLENCE! IF I WANTED INFORMATION I WOULD PLUCK KT FROM YOUR HEAD! no, I have other plans. Namely, I think it would be funny if I send you to the other side of the sector, hmm? Sound like fun?" the voice was heavy with amusement. 
There had to be something more. 
" have fun." the voice said. And a White flash blinded Argus. 
" I WILL COME FOR YOU DAEMON! TELL ME YOUR NAME!" 
 The voice bellowed with laughter "I am malice, I shall await you!" 

Revised version. I don't know about the end... Any ideas? Thoughts? Suggestions?

Wait, is this intended to be serious writing/fanfic?

There are chaotic neutral and chaotic evil daemons. Probably not chaotic good, neutral good, and definitely not ordered good.


Of course, 99% of daemons are mindless spawn anyway so we inherently narrow ourselves to greater daemons, since most lesser daemons lack what we would call sentience. And even then, most of those daemons exist as a pawn of their patron God and were created with their agenda seared into whatever they have that could be called a soul.

Most patron gods of chaos do not have "good" agendas. In fact, none of them do. Best your gonna get is neutral

BrotherVord wrote:
There are chaotic neutral and chaotic evil daemons. Probably not chaotic good, neutral good, and definitely not ordered good.


Of course, 99% of daemons are mindless spawn anyway so we inherently narrow ourselves to greater daemons, since most lesser daemons lack what we would call sentience. And even then, most of those daemons exist as a pawn of their patron God and were created with their agenda seared into whatever they have that could be called a soul.

Most patron gods of chaos do not have "good" agendas. In fact, none of them do. Best your gonna get is neutral

Umm...given that Heralds are cast from lesser daemons and they definitely have all the hallmarks of sapience I'm going to say that you're wrong there.

Also, the Chaos gods are formed from schools of concepts and emotions. Heck, one of the big parts of Tzeentch is hope.

I think I had a post positing on what a good daemon could be like. Let me dig for it.

 Wyzilla wrote:

 the shrouded lord wrote:
Thanks guys. I'm currently working on adding more movement to the conzersation, as well as changing a large degree of the dialogue to less
"do it"
"no"
"utll be cool"
"ok"
To
"I'm bored, and your about to attack a wOrld, so il send you way over there."
"who are you"
"a chaos god"
"the emperor is the only god"
"what evs"
"*insert swear words*"
" are you still here go away."

I should probably just make a thread titled
" I suck at writing but like writing, tell me what need improve in this paragraph."


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Spoiler:

The "ground" below Argus' feet mirrored the rest of his surrounding, pitch and perfect black. And yet, a presence hung thick in the air, like a thousand eyes were centered on him. More for comfort then anything else, Argus drew his pistol.
"you'll not need that, astartes."
The voice was heavy with sadistic enjoyment, and seemed to come from every where and nowhere. But it was horribly familiar, it was the voice of his chapter master, the shrouded lord. Only, it wasn't. The voice had been distorted, as though via VOX, and resonated through Argos flesh. Whipping his head from side to side, Argos could see nothing. " where am I?!" he shouted into the black, and, impossibly, his voice echoed.
"well, that's an original question" the voice was dripped with sarcasm, confirming that it was not that of his chapter master.
" what is this? Some xeno trick? Show your self?" clearly this was the work of eldar, he was sure of it.
"no astartes, I assure you, I am no eldar."
A chill went up Argus' spine, not of fear, but a literal chill. His mind was being breached. He shook his head, as tough to shake away the psycher's grip. So, this was... What? Not eldar, no. They were the chapter's allies. For what that meant...
Perhaps, then, this was some form of test to his loyalty, that would explain the voice.
"I take this voice because my true voice would cause your ears to bleed, and your sanity to break."
Argus decided he would ignore the voice, look for it's source. He scanned the darkness, his pupi dilating as his eyed tried to adapt to the shifting darkness.
" DO NOT TRY TO SEE ME! IF MY VOICE DRIVES YOU MAD MY FORM WILL CAUSE YOUR BODY TO VAPOUISE!"
Argus stopped trying to make out the darkness, but if looking that way was where the xenos form was. Argus grabbed his chainsword and charges forwards. " DIE FELL BEAST!" he shouted as he cleaved into the flesh of his enemy. Only, there was no flesh. He charged forwards, for one second, for ten, thirty. And all the while that dark voice bellowed in laughter. "FOOL! I AM IMMORTAL! YOU HOME TO KILL AND IMMORTAL?"
" IF YOU BLEED, I CAN KILL YOU, for only the emperor is truly immortal!"
" ah yes, the emperor, he matters not." rage boiled in Argos' blood. The emperor, not only questioned, but out right IGNORED? argus thought down the obscenities that came to mind. He was hardened in battle, but sharp of the mind. He realised that he had no power here, where ever here was...
"hmm... There may be hope for you yet. I am a god. You have met my brother's followers before, khorne."
Indeed he had, just a century prior, half of the forsaken knights had remounted their oaths to the emperor, and led by the traitor lucien-the-weeping, had turned to the chaos god khorne. If this being was a chaos god, Argos had no hope, he would die here.
"so, what do you want from me, information? I'l never talk!"
" INSOLENCE! IF I WANTED INFORMATION I WOULD PLUCK KT FROM YOUR HEAD! no, I have other plans. Namely, I think it would be funny if I send you to the other side of the sector, hmm? Sound like fun?" the voice was heavy with amusement.
There had to be something more.
" have fun." the voice said. And a White flash blinded Argus.
" I WILL COME FOR YOU DAEMON! TELL ME YOUR NAME!"
The voice bellowed with laughter "I am malice, I shall await you!"

Revised version. I don't know about the end... Any ideas? Thoughts? Suggestions?

Wait, is this intended to be serious writing/fanfic?

Yeah. At least, I'm mostly sure it is.

 Extreaminatus wrote:

 Wyzilla wrote:

 the shrouded lord wrote:
Thanks guys. I'm currently working on adding more movement to the conzersation, as well as changing a large degree of the dialogue to less
"do it"
"no"
"utll be cool"
"ok"
To
"I'm bored, and your about to attack a wOrld, so il send you way over there."
"who are you"
"a chaos god"
"the emperor is the only god"
"what evs"
"*insert swear words*"
" are you still here go away."

I should probably just make a thread titled
" I suck at writing but like writing, tell me what need improve in this paragraph."


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Spoiler:

The "ground" below Argus' feet mirrored the rest of his surrounding, pitch and perfect black. And yet, a presence hung thick in the air, like a thousand eyes were centered on him. More for comfort then anything else, Argus drew his pistol.
"you'll not need that, astartes."
The voice was heavy with sadistic enjoyment, and seemed to come from every where and nowhere. But it was horribly familiar, it was the voice of his chapter master, the shrouded lord. Only, it wasn't. The voice had been distorted, as though via VOX, and resonated through Argos flesh. Whipping his head from side to side, Argos could see nothing. " where am I?!" he shouted into the black, and, impossibly, his voice echoed.
"well, that's an original question" the voice was dripped with sarcasm, confirming that it was not that of his chapter master.
" what is this? Some xeno trick? Show your self?" clearly this was the work of eldar, he was sure of it.
"no astartes, I assure you, I am no eldar."
A chill went up Argus' spine, not of fear, but a literal chill. His mind was being breached. He shook his head, as tough to shake away the psycher's grip. So, this was... What? Not eldar, no. They were the chapter's allies. For what that meant...
Perhaps, then, this was some form of test to his loyalty, that would explain the voice.
"I take this voice because my true voice would cause your ears to bleed, and your sanity to break."
Argus decided he would ignore the voice, look for it's source. He scanned the darkness, his pupi dilating as his eyed tried to adapt to the shifting darkness.
" DO NOT TRY TO SEE ME! IF MY VOICE DRIVES YOU MAD MY FORM WILL CAUSE YOUR BODY TO VAPOUISE!"
Argus stopped trying to make out the darkness, but if looking that way was where the xenos form was. Argus grabbed his chainsword and charges forwards. " DIE FELL BEAST!" he shouted as he cleaved into the flesh of his enemy. Only, there was no flesh. He charged forwards, for one second, for ten, thirty. And all the while that dark voice bellowed in laughter. "FOOL! I AM IMMORTAL! YOU HOME TO KILL AND IMMORTAL?"
" IF YOU BLEED, I CAN KILL YOU, for only the emperor is truly immortal!"
" ah yes, the emperor, he matters not." rage boiled in Argos' blood. The emperor, not only questioned, but out right IGNORED? argus thought down the obscenities that came to mind. He was hardened in battle, but sharp of the mind. He realised that he had no power here, where ever here was...
"hmm... There may be hope for you yet. I am a god. You have met my brother's followers before, khorne."
Indeed he had, just a century prior, half of the forsaken knights had remounted their oaths to the emperor, and led by the traitor lucien-the-weeping, had turned to the chaos god khorne. If this being was a chaos god, Argos had no hope, he would die here.
"so, what do you want from me, information? I'l never talk!"
" INSOLENCE! IF I WANTED INFORMATION I WOULD PLUCK KT FROM YOUR HEAD! no, I have other plans. Namely, I think it would be funny if I send you to the other side of the sector, hmm? Sound like fun?" the voice was heavy with amusement.
There had to be something more.
" have fun." the voice said. And a White flash blinded Argus.
" I WILL COME FOR YOU DAEMON! TELL ME YOUR NAME!"
The voice bellowed with laughter "I am malice, I shall await you!"

Revised version. I don't know about the end... Any ideas? Thoughts? Suggestions?

Wait, is this intended to be serious writing/fanfic?

Yeah. At least, I'm mostly sure it is.

Oh... well I do write and it just. Have you ever thought about drawing? Or have a writing class in your High School or College, or a writing club?

I don't think the daemons have altruistic tendencies so it ain't happening. Maybe in an alternate dimension where Chaos irepresents the forces of good and the emprah of men and the imperium is evil, I doubt so.

 Wyzilla wrote:

 Extreaminatus wrote:

 Wyzilla wrote:

 the shrouded lord wrote:
Thanks guys. I'm currently working on adding more movement to the conzersation, as well as changing a large degree of the dialogue to less
"do it"
"no"
"utll be cool"
"ok"
To
"I'm bored, and your about to attack a wOrld, so il send you way over there."
"who are you"
"a chaos god"
"the emperor is the only god"
"what evs"
"*insert swear words*"
" are you still here go away."

I should probably just make a thread titled
" I suck at writing but like writing, tell me what need improve in this paragraph."


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Spoiler:

The "ground" below Argus' feet mirrored the rest of his surrounding, pitch and perfect black. And yet, a presence hung thick in the air, like a thousand eyes were centered on him. More for comfort then anything else, Argus drew his pistol.
"you'll not need that, astartes."
The voice was heavy with sadistic enjoyment, and seemed to come from every where and nowhere. But it was horribly familiar, it was the voice of his chapter master, the shrouded lord. Only, it wasn't. The voice had been distorted, as though via VOX, and resonated through Argos flesh. Whipping his head from side to side, Argos could see nothing. " where am I?!" he shouted into the black, and, impossibly, his voice echoed.
"well, that's an original question" the voice was dripped with sarcasm, confirming that it was not that of his chapter master.
" what is this? Some xeno trick? Show your self?" clearly this was the work of eldar, he was sure of it.
"no astartes, I assure you, I am no eldar."
A chill went up Argus' spine, not of fear, but a literal chill. His mind was being breached. He shook his head, as tough to shake away the psycher's grip. So, this was... What? Not eldar, no. They were the chapter's allies. For what that meant...
Perhaps, then, this was some form of test to his loyalty, that would explain the voice.
"I take this voice because my true voice would cause your ears to bleed, and your sanity to break."
Argus decided he would ignore the voice, look for it's source. He scanned the darkness, his pupi dilating as his eyed tried to adapt to the shifting darkness.
" DO NOT TRY TO SEE ME! IF MY VOICE DRIVES YOU MAD MY FORM WILL CAUSE YOUR BODY TO VAPOUISE!"
Argus stopped trying to make out the darkness, but if looking that way was where the xenos form was. Argus grabbed his chainsword and charges forwards. " DIE FELL BEAST!" he shouted as he cleaved into the flesh of his enemy. Only, there was no flesh. He charged forwards, for one second, for ten, thirty. And all the while that dark voice bellowed in laughter. "FOOL! I AM IMMORTAL! YOU HOME TO KILL AND IMMORTAL?"
" IF YOU BLEED, I CAN KILL YOU, for only the emperor is truly immortal!"
" ah yes, the emperor, he matters not." rage boiled in Argos' blood. The emperor, not only questioned, but out right IGNORED? argus thought down the obscenities that came to mind. He was hardened in battle, but sharp of the mind. He realised that he had no power here, where ever here was...
"hmm... There may be hope for you yet. I am a god. You have met my brother's followers before, khorne."
Indeed he had, just a century prior, half of the forsaken knights had remounted their oaths to the emperor, and led by the traitor lucien-the-weeping, had turned to the chaos god khorne. If this being was a chaos god, Argos had no hope, he would die here.
"so, what do you want from me, information? I'l never talk!"
" INSOLENCE! IF I WANTED INFORMATION I WOULD PLUCK KT FROM YOUR HEAD! no, I have other plans. Namely, I think it would be funny if I send you to the other side of the sector, hmm? Sound like fun?" the voice was heavy with amusement.
There had to be something more.
" have fun." the voice said. And a White flash blinded Argus.
" I WILL COME FOR YOU DAEMON! TELL ME YOUR NAME!"
The voice bellowed with laughter "I am malice, I shall await you!"

Revised version. I don't know about the end... Any ideas? Thoughts? Suggestions?

Wait, is this intended to be serious writing/fanfic?

Yeah. At least, I'm mostly sure it is.

Oh... well I do write and it just. Have you ever thought about drawing? Or have a writing class in your High School or College, or a writing club?

We have an extention class but you need A's, I only get B's. Also, why drawing?
Lastly, I know the entire end is absolutely stupid, but is it that bad?

I always had the idea that some of the "good" gods hide in plain sight by taking the form of a demeon as not to be consumed by the large chaos powers.

deepstriker wrote:
I don't think the daemons have altruistic tendencies so it ain't happening. Maybe in an alternate dimension where Chaos irepresents the forces of good and the emprah of men and the imperium is evil, I doubt so.

What is good and what is evil? Also I think implying the imperium is "good" is pushing it

clively wrote:
One thing that will help you is understanding the nature of good and evil. Those concepts are based entirely upon your point of view. Let's take Khorne as an example.

From Khorne's perspective, good is when blood flows and evil is when it isn't. He's very black and white that way. When a space marine force assaults a planet whose governor has rebelled, blood will flow which Khorne considers a very good thing. Therefore, unknowingly, the marines are doing Khorne's bidding.

The marines, on the other hand, see the governor as evil for rebelling against the emperor. The governor sees the marines as evil because they are killing his people when all they want is to be left alone.

So, is there a "good" daemon? Absolutely. They all are depending upon your point of view. Incidentally this is the number one problem that the inquisition faces. A new inquisitor has clear lines they won't cross, such as working with daemons, because they "know" that's evil. Over time that inquisitor's opinion of right and wrong change radically and they begin using whatever tools they can in order to enforce imperial rule including usage of daemon hosts and cults.

Getting to your story concept: Tzeentch, for example, could very well enlist the aid of a marine to stop an invasion, especially if it meant frustrating the plans of one of the other gods. The others would do likewise. In existing fluff this has happened when a marine chapter master prayed to the Emperor asking for the ability to tell when people were lying. Unfortunately Tzeentch was listening in and granted the wish for that entire chapter. Shortly thereafter that chapter completely rebelled as they realized they were being lied to by everyone one on the imperium. ( source: codex CSM ). Who is evil in that story? All, or none, depending upon your point of view.

The soul drinkers books are an interesting read as they are a chapter that fell to chaos, but thought they were the good guys all along. Great bit of writing. I won't spoil the ending.

So, kudos for attempting your writing project. It's a good subject to explore.

I dunno the source from the wiki, and even if it has a source at all, but it's stated there that only Lords of Change have ever been known to help the Imperium from time to time (I imagnie that's not including bound daemons, obviously). So if that's hypothetically official, then even if Khorne does see killing as "good" from his point of view, he presumably hates the Emperor so much that he's still not going to lend the Imperium a hand when it comes to killing.

 the shrouded lord wrote:

 Wyzilla wrote:

 Extreaminatus wrote:

 Wyzilla wrote:

 the shrouded lord wrote:
Thanks guys. I'm currently working on adding more movement to the conzersation, as well as changing a large degree of the dialogue to less
"do it"
"no"
"utll be cool"
"ok"
To
"I'm bored, and your about to attack a wOrld, so il send you way over there."
"who are you"
"a chaos god"
"the emperor is the only god"
"what evs"
"*insert swear words*"
" are you still here go away."

I should probably just make a thread titled
" I suck at writing but like writing, tell me what need improve in this paragraph."


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Spoiler:

The "ground" below Argus' feet mirrored the rest of his surrounding, pitch and perfect black. And yet, a presence hung thick in the air, like a thousand eyes were centered on him. More for comfort then anything else, Argus drew his pistol.
"you'll not need that, astartes."
The voice was heavy with sadistic enjoyment, and seemed to come from every where and nowhere. But it was horribly familiar, it was the voice of his chapter master, the shrouded lord. Only, it wasn't. The voice had been distorted, as though via VOX, and resonated through Argos flesh. Whipping his head from side to side, Argos could see nothing. " where am I?!" he shouted into the black, and, impossibly, his voice echoed.
"well, that's an original question" the voice was dripped with sarcasm, confirming that it was not that of his chapter master.
" what is this? Some xeno trick? Show your self?" clearly this was the work of eldar, he was sure of it.
"no astartes, I assure you, I am no eldar."
A chill went up Argus' spine, not of fear, but a literal chill. His mind was being breached. He shook his head, as tough to shake away the psycher's grip. So, this was... What? Not eldar, no. They were the chapter's allies. For what that meant...
Perhaps, then, this was some form of test to his loyalty, that would explain the voice.
"I take this voice because my true voice would cause your ears to bleed, and your sanity to break."
Argus decided he would ignore the voice, look for it's source. He scanned the darkness, his pupi dilating as his eyed tried to adapt to the shifting darkness.
" DO NOT TRY TO SEE ME! IF MY VOICE DRIVES YOU MAD MY FORM WILL CAUSE YOUR BODY TO VAPOUISE!"
Argus stopped trying to make out the darkness, but if looking that way was where the xenos form was. Argus grabbed his chainsword and charges forwards. " DIE FELL BEAST!" he shouted as he cleaved into the flesh of his enemy. Only, there was no flesh. He charged forwards, for one second, for ten, thirty. And all the while that dark voice bellowed in laughter. "FOOL! I AM IMMORTAL! YOU HOME TO KILL AND IMMORTAL?"
" IF YOU BLEED, I CAN KILL YOU, for only the emperor is truly immortal!"
" ah yes, the emperor, he matters not." rage boiled in Argos' blood. The emperor, not only questioned, but out right IGNORED? argus thought down the obscenities that came to mind. He was hardened in battle, but sharp of the mind. He realised that he had no power here, where ever here was...
"hmm... There may be hope for you yet. I am a god. You have met my brother's followers before, khorne."
Indeed he had, just a century prior, half of the forsaken knights had remounted their oaths to the emperor, and led by the traitor lucien-the-weeping, had turned to the chaos god khorne. If this being was a chaos god, Argos had no hope, he would die here.
"so, what do you want from me, information? I'l never talk!"
" INSOLENCE! IF I WANTED INFORMATION I WOULD PLUCK KT FROM YOUR HEAD! no, I have other plans. Namely, I think it would be funny if I send you to the other side of the sector, hmm? Sound like fun?" the voice was heavy with amusement.
There had to be something more.
" have fun." the voice said. And a White flash blinded Argus.
" I WILL COME FOR YOU DAEMON! TELL ME YOUR NAME!"
The voice bellowed with laughter "I am malice, I shall await you!"

Revised version. I don't know about the end... Any ideas? Thoughts? Suggestions?

Wait, is this intended to be serious writing/fanfic?

Yeah. At least, I'm mostly sure it is.

Oh... well I do write and it just. Have you ever thought about drawing? Or have a writing class in your High School or College, or a writing club?

We have an extention class but you need A's, I only get B's. Also, why drawing?
Lastly, I know the entire end is absolutely stupid, but is it that bad?

Best advice I can give is read Lovecraft. It's good writing inspiration and would aid in writing eldritch abominations.

 StarTrotter wrote:

deepstriker wrote:
I don't think the daemons have altruistic tendencies so it ain't happening. Maybe in an alternate dimension where Chaos irepresents the forces of good and the emprah of men and the imperium is evil, I doubt so.

What is good and what is evil? Also I think implying the imperium is "good" is pushing it

The Imperium isn't good so much as it's less wrong than the faction that openly admits it does evil for evil's sake.

 Kain wrote:

 StarTrotter wrote:

deepstriker wrote:
I don't think the daemons have altruistic tendencies so it ain't happening. Maybe in an alternate dimension where Chaos irepresents the forces of good and the emprah of men and the imperium is evil, I doubt so.

What is good and what is evil? Also I think implying the imperium is "good" is pushing it

The Imperium isn't good so much as it's less wrong than the faction that openly admits it does evil for evil's sake.

Chaos is not evil, neither is it good. It operates on Blue and Orange morality.

 Wyzilla wrote:

 Kain wrote:

 StarTrotter wrote:

deepstriker wrote:
I don't think the daemons have altruistic tendencies so it ain't happening. Maybe in an alternate dimension where Chaos irepresents the forces of good and the emprah of men and the imperium is evil, I doubt so.

What is good and what is evil? Also I think implying the imperium is "good" is pushing it

The Imperium isn't good so much as it's less wrong than the faction that openly admits it does evil for evil's sake.

Chaos is not evil, neither is it good. It operates on Blue and Orange morality.

The only perspective of good or evil that matters to a human is humanity's sense of good and evil.

And

"Destroy, for the sake of Destruction
Kill, for the sake of Killing"

"Let no good deed go unpunished.
Let no evil deed go unrewarded."

(Chaos space marines codex, 4th edition, pages 83 and 84)

Are the kinds of things said by cartoonish mustache twirling villains.

And I like Chaos to be a faction of "for the evulz" mustache twirlers who don't actually have any real argument other than that they're psychopaths.

40k is inherently ridiculous and so ridiculous villains with ridiculous motivations suits it just fine.

 Kain wrote:

 Wyzilla wrote:

 Kain wrote:

 StarTrotter wrote:

deepstriker wrote:
I don't think the daemons have altruistic tendencies so it ain't happening. Maybe in an alternate dimension where Chaos irepresents the forces of good and the emprah of men and the imperium is evil, I doubt so.

What is good and what is evil? Also I think implying the imperium is "good" is pushing it

The Imperium isn't good so much as it's less wrong than the faction that openly admits it does evil for evil's sake.

Chaos is not evil, neither is it good. It operates on Blue and Orange morality.

The only perspective of good or evil that matters to a human is humanity's sense of good and evil.

And

"Destroy, for the sake of Destruction
Kill, for the sake of Killing"

"Let no good deed go unpunished.
Let no evil deed go unrewarded."

(Chaos space marines codex, 4th edition, pages 83 and 84)

Are the kinds of things said by cartoonish mustache twirling villains.

And I like Chaos to be a faction of "for the evulz" mustache twirlers who don't actually have any real argument other than that they're psychopaths.

40k is inherently ridiculous and so ridiculous villains with ridiculous motivations suits it just fine.

Those are the thoughts of Chaos Astartes, not Daemons.

And human morality is just as irrelevant as the morality of any other. Only a fool believes his to be unique or inherent truths of the universe.

 Wyzilla wrote:

 Kain wrote:

 Wyzilla wrote:

 Kain wrote:

 StarTrotter wrote:

deepstriker wrote:
I don't think the daemons have altruistic tendencies so it ain't happening. Maybe in an alternate dimension where Chaos irepresents the forces of good and the emprah of men and the imperium is evil, I doubt so.

What is good and what is evil? Also I think implying the imperium is "good" is pushing it

The Imperium isn't good so much as it's less wrong than the faction that openly admits it does evil for evil's sake.

Chaos is not evil, neither is it good. It operates on Blue and Orange morality.

The only perspective of good or evil that matters to a human is humanity's sense of good and evil.

And

"Destroy, for the sake of Destruction
Kill, for the sake of Killing"

"Let no good deed go unpunished.
Let no evil deed go unrewarded."

(Chaos space marines codex, 4th edition, pages 83 and 84)

Are the kinds of things said by cartoonish mustache twirling villains.

And I like Chaos to be a faction of "for the evulz" mustache twirlers who don't actually have any real argument other than that they're psychopaths.

40k is inherently ridiculous and so ridiculous villains with ridiculous motivations suits it just fine.

Those are the thoughts of Chaos Astartes, not Daemons.

And human morality is just as irrelevant as the morality of any other. Only a fool believes his to be unique or inherent truths of the universe.

Not to mention much of 40k fluff is from the Imperial viewpoint and there are still charactersi n the fluff that somewhat break this. For example, there's a Khornate CSM that raids ships but if you surrender he will ensure that you live avoiding any possible harm. Sense you surrendered he considers it an insult to khorne if he slaughtered them. Then you have some TS sorcerer in 40k that is looking for a way to cure the TS of their rubricate nature and then you have the countless stories of noble heroes descending into disparity and insanity finally to become a prince removing themself to a daemon world never to return broken, shattered, insane. But yeah, daemons are orange and blue morality.

Daemons? Not exactly.

"Warp Entities"? Maybe.

What is a "Warp Entity"? No one really knows. It's a ghost or spirit-like creature (sometimes) that shows up in places that seem important to it. Some theorize that it's a semi-sentient imprint of a person (psyker or nascent psyker?) left in an area after they're dead. Some people believe they are divine emissaries of the God-Emperor, like an angel that isn't in a corporeal body (as a Living Saint is). Others think they are creatures native to the Immaterium, like the Enslavers, but not part of the Ruinous Powers and capable of having their own plans, goals and designs.

One thing all agree upon is that one should Never, Ever trust one.

Could one teleport a Space Marine across a Sector? Probably not, they typically aren't that powerful.... but it might know where a forgotten Web-way Gate is located.
Will it do this out of the goodness of its heart? Probably not. It's going to want something in return, or it will foresee the Marine doing something that will benefit it, even if it is done unknowingly (for an example, check out how the daemon Cherubael orchestrates almost everything in Eisenhorn's life for a very long time to get what it wants.)

...

Malice, despite being opposed to all of the other Chaos Gods, is still, himself, a Chaos God. Hang out with Malice (or Malal, if you prefer) and you are exposed to the corrupting effects of the Warp, and so are going to grow tentacles, a flaming skull-head and crab-claws on your feet. Malice is not a God of Order, he's the Chaos God of Rebellion (just like Necoho is the Chaos God of Atheism and Zuvassin is the Chaos God of Plans Becoming Undone).

Perhaps there is an opposite dimension to the warp, full of Xeno's that are made of a substance that is the polar opposite of the essence that Chaos Daemons are made of. Maybe even populated with "good" Xeno's

There is. They call it "Realspace". This is why the C'Tan could not enter the Warp, and cannot manipulate the Warp or use Warp-based powers. The Warp is the exact, diametric opposite to them.

There is only one question to decide the OP's question; Who decides what is good and what is evil?

While the Imperium thinks they are good and Chaos is evil, Chaos worshippers think the opposite. So who is right and who decides the definition of Good and Evil?

Good, Bad... I'm the guy with the rosette.

 Low_K wrote:

While the Imperium thinks they are good and Chaos is evil, Chaos worshippers think the opposite. So who is right and who decides the definition of Good and Evil?

Actually, many chaos worshippers think Chaos is evil but fully embrace that, and many others think morality doesn't exist.

The Imperium meanwhile has consistently had the majority of its members/citizens believing in the concept of morality and either trying to stick to what they think is good, or at least honestly believing they did what they had to do for the survival of the Imperium even while admitting it wasn't necessarily morally good (sometimes even feeling guilty about it).

Every once in a rare while you find a chaos worshipper with an actual conscience (even if a conscience that doesn't exactly follow the same belief system most of our consciences would. Note: This is not to be confused with Visionary Villains, who may or may not have a conscience). They however seem to be the exception rather than the norm. (on a legion level, only the word bearers seem to honestly believe or care that they're in the moral right on average. Maaaaaaybe an unknown amount of the Thousand Sons. We'll ignore the Alpha Legion for obvious reasons since who knows what the hell they think these days).

I think the Khornate Berzerkers (and whatever else is left of the World Eaters) is quite concerned in right and wrong. Right being the slaughtering of foes in combat and wrong being the battlefields not bathed in blood

 StarTrotter wrote:
I think the Khornate Berzerkers (and whatever else is left of the World Eaters) is quite concerned in right and wrong. Right being the slaughtering of foes in combat and wrong being the battlefields not bathed in blood

One short story post-heresy by a non-Horus Heresy author had Kharn like that, but other stories... don't (in the Horus Heresy series, it's more implied Kharn hates himself and everyone else and selfishly wants to kill everyone because of his own self-hate, rather than a sincere belief in the concept of hate or Khorne). The World Eaters (especially Kharn) are portrayed very inconsistently the few times we get to see things from their perspective, even by the standards of Black Library (which is really saying something). Khorne's tenets do ask its followers to be selfless and work towards a cause, but many Khorne followers are portrayed as so beserk that they might not even be sentient enough to have a concept of good and evil anymore. Again, it's very inconsistent. One problem is that one gets the feeling that many World Eaters turned traitor because of the Butcher's Nails rather than actually truly believing in Khorne and his tenets. IMHO, a morally good and sincere Khorne believer (good from Khorne's perspective) would hate people for the sake of hating, not for some selfish reason like personal hatred issues (Angron) or because butcher's nails drove them crazy. Like Kharn in that short story who finds it ironic that he's dubbed the betrayer when he sincerely feels he's the only one that stayed true to Khorne's tenets that day (again, that story's portrayal of Kharn seems inconsistent with other portrayals, alas)

Technically, Nurgle's tenets are supposed to encourage selflessness, also (and most Nurgle followers are portrayed like that the few times they show up), but the Death Guard are described as wanting to kill everyone due to their own self-loathing (except Typhus, who honestly does believe he's doing good). The fact that they turned to Nurgle for their own selfish reasons (again, with the exception of Typhus) also contributes to that.

...I suppose one could say that one of the reasons why only the Word Bearers see themselves as good while the rest of the traitor legions don't is because the rest of the traitor legions are a bunch of whiny babies (of note is that the Word Bearers that turned on the Imperium for their own selfish reasons of personal revenge were actually purposefully purged by Lorgor at Calth. They weren't the morally good Word Bearers he needed and wanted, as opposed to the rest of the Word Bearers who sincerely believed in Chaos for non-selfish reasons). Sincere believers of chaos (as opposed to ones using it for selfish gain or for a selfish personal reason) do believe they're in the moral right, but you generally won't find many of those.

 the shrouded lord wrote:
I don't wanna be a bean sprout.
In all what I'm asking is, would a Daemon teleport an astartes to save a (completely normal, and loyal) planet and why would it do so?

It could do so if there is an emotion the planet populace produces that it benefits from. Nurgle can't make anyone sick if everyone is blown up, even if he doesn't rule the planet.

Well, the Daemons vs Tyrannids battle at Shadowbrink in the latest Tyrannid codex technically had the daemons trying to save the Imperial Planet from the Tyrannids (mainly because they planned on consumming/corrupting it after taking care of that bug problem first). They still didn't team up directly with the Imperium to do it, though.

 the shrouded lord wrote:
I don't wanna be a bean sprout.
In all what I'm asking is, would a Daemon teleport an astartes to save a (completely normal, and loyal) planet and why would it do so?

Its a Lord of Tzeentch playing the Great Game, or just for kicks and giggles.

Frazzled wait! Why not offer to assist him yourself you 5th god of chaos you! Perhaps that planet his many weiner dogs?