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A lot of my armies are metal which makes wysiwyg a bit stupid for me :(
Added to the fact, I cant magnetise and am pretty easy going anyway when I play means I tend to ignore it overall.
I do agree its a courtesy to an opponent however if you can/do do it.
Wouldnt refuse to play anyone over it, even if they had some whacky stuff as long as they themselves were pretty easy going too.

WYSIWYG is very important to me, for me. It lets me know that my opponent won't be confused over what has what. I really enjoy making my army Codex compliant. So that is more of a personal modeling preference. I won't refuse a game over non WYSIWYG though.

I think it really depends on what kind of game you are playing and how far of a leap you are making in the proxying. There is also a fine line between proxy and extreme conversion. For example, a Landraider heavily altered for an Ork army is obviously a Battlewagon, not a Landraider, so it is acceptable.

I personally have a "Grey Knights" army that is mostly made up of converted Vanilla and Dark Angels marines with Grey knights heads (hey, I have a bits-box army for $200). As they are still power armor marines with storm bolters I think that's fine. Only one friend has ever pointed out that my Daemon Hammers are actually Thunderhammers.

On the other side of the discussion, there is the "these Lizardmen are actually Tyranids and the Ogres are Warriors". I would only play this army if it was either a for-fun pre agreed game or if someone was playtesting before building a new army.

For friendly games I'd be okay with one or two proxies, but if it is a tournament, then no, it must be WYSIWYG.

At my FLGS, WYSIWYG is not "enforced," just necessary. Since it ain't anything special, the majority of your army should be WYSIWYG, so conversions are allowed and a limited number of proxies, as some people will need more proxies than others. But overall, yeah, WYSIWYG.

As I get more and more into this game, WYSIWYG is more important for me. However, I do understand people wanting to proxy due to the trillion choices for wargear available. So long as it's clear during the game, and no "magical" appearing powerfists, etc. appear, i'm cool with it.

Magnets increasingly assist in kitting out models with some options as well.