Alan Moore Latest Book is So Big Even He Can't Lift It

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**Ahtman**

Source

In an announcement that threatens to collapse the shelves of the few remaining bookstores scattered across the country, Alan Moore has completed work on the first draft of Jerusalem, a novel that clocks in at over 1 million words. To put that in context, Leo Tolstoy, quitter that he was, only managed to squeak out around 560,000 words for his famously thick War And Peace, suggesting that Jerusalem will prove almost twice as influential as that book.

In the works since 2008, Jerusalem takes place not in Jerusalem, but rather Moore’s hometown of Northampton, England, exploring the area’s history as filtered through Moore’s own fantastical perspective. In addition to requiring that people risk life and limb whenever they try and take it off the shelf, Moore will treat readers to a “Lucia Joyce chapter, which is completely incomprehensible … all written in a completely invented sub-Joycean text.” There will also be a chapter written in the form of a Samuel Beckett play, “a noir crime narrative based upon the Northampton pastor James Hervey,” and “a combination of the ghost story and the drug narrative.” If not driven mad by the process of reading it, the book should make one hell of a complicated doorstop.

Moore, who has had his share of disagreements with the publishing industry, admits that any worthwhile editor would probably tell him to shave about two-thirds of the book, but they can’t, and anyway he didn’t write it for them, and also get off his lawn. “I doubt that Herman Melville had an editor—if he had, that editor would have told him to get rid of all that boring stuff about whaling: ‘Cut to the chase, Herman’,” Moore said. The book currently has no publisher, but when it is released, it’s recommended you do your back a kindness and get the ebook.

It should be on every shelf in every home!

**MeanGreenStompa**

I look forward to him selling the rights to turn it into a multibillion dollar trilogy of movies, so he can whine endlessly about them immediately afterwards, despite not watching them because he's too busy worshiping a snake god and being a gakker.

**daedalus**

MeanGreenStompa wrote:
I look forward to him selling the rights to turn it into a multibillion dollar trilogy of movies, so he can whine endlessly about them immediately afterwards, despite not watching them because he's too busy worshiping a snake god and being a gakker.

Yeah.... Moore's so dreamy.

**Talizvar**

<CHALLENGE ACCEPTED>

**Cheesecat**

MeanGreenStompa wrote:
I look forward to him selling the rights to turn it into a multibillion dollar trilogy of movies, so he can whine endlessly about them immediately afterwards, despite not watching them because he's too busy worshiping a snake god and being a gakker.

It wasn't like he was missing much by skipping out on the Watchmen movie.

**squidhills**

Cheesecat wrote:

It wasn't like he was missing much by skipping out on the Watchmen movie.

Oh come on, apart from the ommission of the giant squid, it was a reasonably faithful adaptation. The violence was a bit more graphic than I would've liked, but it hit most of the right notes.

**Cheesecat**

Personally I found it pretty boring, had to stop watching after half an hour.

**gorgon**

MeanGreenStompa wrote:
I look forward to him selling the rights to turn it into a multibillion dollar trilogy of movies, so he can whine endlessly about them immediately afterwards, despite not watching them because he's too busy worshiping a snake god and being a gakker.

That pretty much sums it up.

I think he made a deal with elder gods to trade his humanity to become some kind of misery engine. How else can you explain a guy who keeps writing superhero stories but obviously hates and wants to end superheroes? How else can you explain a guy who keeps selling his movie rights but hates everything filmmakers do with the material? I think his hate and misery are what sustain him.

**LuciusAR**

Did some great work in the 80's and 90's but he's just become a miserable, sanctimonious old bugger lately. He just comes across as being unpleasant and convinced of his own superiority in interviews.

**mega_bassist**

squidhills wrote:
Cheesecat wrote:

It wasn't like he was missing much by skipping out on the Watchmen movie.

Oh come on, apart from the ommission of the giant squid, it was a reasonably faithful adaptation. The violence was a bit more graphic than I would've liked, but it hit most of the right notes.

Personally, I liked the movie ending more than the novel's ending. The only thing I actually didn't like about the movie was the excessive blue dong floppin' around. The book at least left that out most of the time

This book, however...sounds silly. If I wanted to lift weights, I'd go to the gym.

**trexmeyer**

I'll never understand why Watchmen gets continuously slammed while the Batman trilogy is praised.

**Breotan**

trexmeyer wrote:
I'll never understand why Watchmen gets continuously slammed while the Batman trilogy is praised.

I know, right?

**KingCracker**

trexmeyer wrote:
I'll never understand why Watchmen gets continuously slammed while the Batman trilogy is praised.

Specially the last movie, it bored me to tears. I tried watching it a second time thinking maybe I just wasn't in the mood. I fell asleep

**Void__Dragon**

I'm not that impressed. Moore doesn't look all that strong to me.

**Platuan4th**

gorgon wrote:
I think he made a deal with elder gods to trade his humanity to become some kind of misery engine. How else can you explain a guy who keeps writing superhero stories but obviously hates and wants to end superheroes? How else can you explain a guy who keeps selling his movie rights but hates everything filmmakers do with the material? I think his hate and misery are what sustain him.

I think it's more he just really buys into his own hype but really, really loves money, too.

**Manchu**

Alan Moore tried to kill the superhero; not just Superman (he tried that, too, quite specifically) but the very concept itself. The Watchman and TDKR are the right and left hooks that left comics out cold on the mat for nearly thirty years, lost in strange dreams with a distant voice begging it to get up.

**LordofHats**

Manchu wrote:
Alan Moore tried to kill the superhero; not just Superman (he tried that, too, quite specifically) but the very concept itself. The Watchman and TDKR are the right and left hooks that left comics out cold on the mat for nearly thirty years, lost in strange dreams with a distant voice begging it to get up.

Best post on Dakka. All threads is won

**Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl**

trexmeyer wrote:
I'll never understand why Watchmen gets continuously slammed while the Batman trilogy is praised.

Let us be honest though: Watchmen had the advantage of a much better original material to but on.