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Here's some humor to bring in to console the WFB players:

1. Between the time of third edition, and the rise of eighth edition, there was an age undreamed of. And unto this, Sigmar, destined to wear spehs mehrines upon a troubled brow. It is I, his chronicler, who alone can tell thee of his saga. Let me tell you of the days of high point costs!

2. In age of sigmar, dice roll you!

3. Barrack Obama was behind Age of Sigmar - to attract more illegals.

4. Just because someone Sigmars you doesn't mean you Sigmar them back.

5. Chuck Norris was so stunned in horror after playing Age of Sigmar, that the world didn't dare spin during this time.

6. When your only tool is a Sigmar, all problems start looking like Sigmar.

7. Time does'nt exist. Sigmar exists.

8. THIS... IS... SIGMAR!!!



Add-ons

1. If having a beard gives you a bonus with dwarves, then in kind, shedding blood over dice should give Khorne players a bonus.


2. The rough draft of Age of Sigmar in GW design studio:
a. Setup your models.
b. Push units toward enemy models until they make base contact. Then attempt to push his unit off the table by bumping them. If the opponent chooses to react, he may push back or choose to move a different unit as a reaction.
Once this process starts, you may only backup the unit if you intend on operating a slamming maneuver back at the enemy unit. Any unit with models left standing survive and continue onward.
c. If your opponent isn't paying attention, you may push his models off the table without the need of using your own models, while saying WAAAAAGH! - for additional victory points.
d. There's no actual victory points.
e. All base restrictions don't matter anymore, so if needed, you may stack models in a large heap and/or throw them as a ballistic attack. Any models knocked over are considered a casualty. If your model happens to land upright,
then it's considered alive and forms a unit where it stands.
f. Whoever is carrying the larger caliber gun wins. If tied, go through the duel procedure on page 1. If anyone dials 911 during this time, both players lose. Remember, if either happens to be wearing level 3 body armour, it saves on a 5+.
g. If you carry a blade, whoever has the largest wins, unless the opponent has a gun.

How many Sigmarines does it take to fix a lightbulb?

As many as you want!

What mini do you play to exactly counterbalance a Sigmarine?

None; it's pointless.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Did you hear about the green skin who turned to Khorne?

He's the Hemogoblin.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
You can never keep your minis upright because Age of Sigmar lacks balance.

Whose Age is it Anyway? The game where everything's made up and the points don't matter.

All you WHFB grognards are just missing the points.

*hear*

Sorry, had to do it.

 fallinq wrote:
*hear*

Sorry, had to do it.

Woops. Just changed it. Thanks

How many AoS daemons does it take to screw in a lightbulb? As many as can fit on the tabletop!

Q: Why are the rules so poorly written?
A: Don't ask me; try talking to your minis.

In Age of Sigmar, you don't just Forge The Narrative, you Forge The Rules too!

Q: How do I make Age of Sigmar into a balanced game?
A. Define "how", "make", "balanced" and "game".

Age of Sigmar: where the BRB is four pages of rules and 160 pages of trying to get you to ignore them.

A simple formula for a balanced Age of Sigmar army list:
Divide the total number of wounds by the number of models. Multiply by the number of warscrolls you brought.
Add the total number of armies you played from the old game.
Divide by zero, because that's how many feths GW gives.

Did you hear the one about Slaanesh in Age of Sigmar?
... Me neither.

If I get a bonus for having a beard when I play Dwarfs, can I get a bonus for having dry, scaly skin when I play Lizardmen? How about bad hygiene in general for Orcs and Goblins? Rats infesting my house for Skaven? The possibilities are endless!

Age of Sigmar.


Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all week, folks!

best comment ever toasteroven!

Rihgu wrote:
Age of Sigmar.


Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all week, folks!

Ninja'd!

Rihgu wrote:
Age of Sigmar.


Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all week, folks!

Stole mah joke.

Three girlfriends, an elf a human and a dwarf, decide to hit the clubs for ladies night. They get to the club and right away a very suave gentleman offers to buy them all drinks and invites the girls back to his private booth. Of course, they accept and follow the handsome fellow back to his booth where he is a charming and polite host. The evening carries on and everyone is having a great time when their host asks the three women what they want the most in life.

The elf lass says she wishes she could be whisked away to live with a charming Prince in a romantic forest.

The dwarf girl wishes she could own a beer brewery with a stout dwarven husband to give her lots of beautiful bearded baby girls.

The human woman wishes she could meet a decent fellow and grow old together with him happily.

The host chuckles and says...

"Long live the floating islands of shimmertarn!"

Taken from the top 10 things we like about Age of Sigmar, from GW's site.

 toasteroven wrote:
Whose Age is it Anyway? The game where everything's made up and the points don't matter.

Funniest post itt, lol'd irl at this hard.

 toasteroven wrote:
Whose Age is it Anyway? The game where everything's made up and the points don't matter.

funniest comment, everything else is lame like 8th edition.

My silly joke will reunify the community!

(I know, it won't)

Age of Sigmar is not a beer & pretzels game. Most beers or pretzels would be quite insulted to be associated with the former.

And the inevatable Downfall-based parodies.

You hear about the two guys playing AoS?

Neither did I

Two AoS players walk into a bar. They wake up in psych ward with massive head wounds.

Did you guys hear the one about the Black and White Sigmarine?

 infinite_array wrote:
Did you guys hear the one about the Black and White Sigmarine?

Was he riding a Black and White Dracoth perchance?