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Since the first rule-book for 30k came out, I have been using my spare time to create my own custom units and models. Now, I only know of a few people that play Warhammer 30/40K with any regularity, so I would like all who read this to aid me in both playtesting them and ironing out the rules. Enjoy.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Thulsa Doom, The Stormherald

The Jagged King of Commorragh

Ebon King of the Incubi

WS:7 BS:5 S:6(7) T:6(7) W:5(7) I:6 A:5 Ld:10 Sv:2+ Armour/4+Feel no Pain/2+ Invulnerable

Unit Type: Infantry (Character)

Special Rules:

Transcendent Creature: Having drank the knowledge of the souls of countless Eldar, Thulsa re-rolls all failed Psychic Tests, and knows all powers from either the Telepathy and Divination discipline's (Select one at the start of the game).

He-who-walks-a-thousand-paths: Starting out as a concubine for the Dark Eldar, then a gladiator, haemonculus, sorcerer and, finally, as a dread Incubus, Thulsa has walked across the dust of a thousand worlds in search of the one who betrayed him so long ago... Thulsa has the Eternal Warrior special rule. In addition, if he is selected as the Warlord, then he may choose D3+2 Warlord Traits from the Warhammer 40000 Rulebook and the Space Marine Legion Warlord Traits. No more then two may be taken from any one selection.

Spirits of the Golden Era: Having stolen a banquet of Eldar souls from the table of Slaanesh itself, they have linked themselves into Thulsa's own soul. In exchange for this, they lash out during the heat of combat, striking down the souls of those who would dare harm their host. At the start of each close combat phase, Each enemy model in base contact with Thulsa takes D6 Strength 4 hits at Initiative 10 with the Shred special rule. No Invulnerable or Feel no Pain saves may be taken against these attacks. In addition, Thulsa has the Fear and Shrouded special rules.

Psyker (Mastery Level 3)

Fearless

Weapons and Artefacts:

Drach'nyen [Range:-, Strength: +1, AP:2, Special Rules: Melee, Daemon Weapon, Murderous Strike, Two-handed] When his psychic powers awoke in the black heart of the Dark City, Thulsa was flung into the Realm of Chaos itself. Whatever happened in that cursed land of gods and daemons, he will not say. Only the terrible greatsword known to daemonkind as 'The Shard of Madness' rested firmly within his hands when he finally emerged from the hellscape...

The Nemesis Device [+1 to all FnP rolls, +2 Wounds, +1 Toughness, Very Bulky, All attacks with the Poisoned or Fleshbane special rules only inflict a wound on the roll of a 6] Worn much like the Servo-Harnesses of the Tech-Priests of the Machine Cult, The Nemesis Device is instead an artificer-crafted chestplate and backpack of tainted wraithbone of Thulsa's own creation, inset with countless Eldar spirit-stones. Hiding beneath its smooth black surface are countless arcane devices and alchemical elixirs that speed the wearers healing rate and toughness beyond any mortal means. Behind each of his shoulders, sprout a pair of bio mechanical tentacles able to punch through terminator armour. Few foes are capable of matching Thulsa, and those that can often struggle to inflict damage against such a creature.

Tainted Phoenix Armour (Body, Legs, Arms) [2+ Armour Save, 5+ Feel no Pain] Made by a masterful Eldar artisan in the days leading up to The Fall, this particular set of armour was once worn by the fallen Phoenix Lord Arhra, when he was still a mortal. Much like its descendants, this style of armour would later be adopted by the fallen lords disciples, the Incubi. Made from hyper-compressed plates of jet-black self healing adamantine and covered in hundreds of grav-studs, the segmented plates are able to turn aside all but the most potent of attacks. The amount of slaughter and carnage cause by its previous owner has given it a dark sentience of its own, caressing its wearers flesh with tendrils of dark energy, rejuvenating and nourishing whilst it feed off the spilled blood and souls of the fallen.

Shadow Field [2+ Invulnerable Save, If failed, the model loses this save for the rest of the game]

*sigh* Why?
6x S7 AP2 attacks +d6 S4 shred auto hits on each model in base contact which ignore invul and FnP.
A T7 model with 7 wounds, 2+ armour save, 2+ invul, 4+ FnP, +2 to cover saves and EW, also all Fleshbane/Poison attacks wound on 6s. (granted the failed invul removing his save is somewhat more balanced.
On top of his amazing cc stats and defencive stats he is also a ML3 psyker who knows all powers from Telepathy (div is nice but telepathy!) and can re-roll failed casting. Be'lakor is called OP by knowing invis automatically but at least he only has a 4++, T5, 4 wounds and no EW.

This just looks like you wanted to make your own personal Mary Sue character who is unkillable but then decided people might not like him so tacked on the rule for failed invul saves on the end. If you don't want people to cringe at your homebrew I would suggest making him less survivable than a Primarch and uncluttering his profile with as many bonus special rules as you can fit in.

Sorry OP but that is one of the more over powered homebrews I've seen and most are pretty bad to begin with.

1) Why has an Eldar got S6 and T7?

2) Dark Eldar don't like psychic powers as it draws Slaanesh's attention.

3) 2+ armour is fair enough, but he rest is waaaaaaay OP.

Homebrew is usually more fun when characters are themed toward your army and playstyle, rather than than deathstar units in their own right.

If you wanted a cool character, I'd go with an base statline similar to an Archon, with a couple of cool bits of wargear/special rules and then price accordingly. With your current stats you're looking at a very high points cost.

Sheesh, if you had the Union Jack and where making this for Space Marines then I would think you where my Timmy.
This model is hideously powerful. Tone it down heavily and we will talk.

I think we have the next GW writer in our midst.

Yea...I'm not trying to sound like an donkey-cave here, but this is some of the worst stuff I've ever seen.

You should try making characters with...character. They need real benefits, flaws, emotion. This is just a demi-god thats good at everything. It's super boring and no one will want to play against it.

You have literally 3 different characters put into one guy. You should split them up into 3 separate characters.

Is he trolling ?

 godardc wrote:
Is he trolling ?

Yes.

Dark eldar psyker....

Nope... Nope.

With 2+ armour, 4+ fnp and a 2+ inv that lasts until falls backed by T7....

Adding a psyler.. Or buffs which you probbly do on top plan to.
This is primarch grade.....

S10... does one wound with EW....
Eldar... Or primarch.....

Yeah, this generally sounds like an "I win" button created by somebody who wants to win at all costs. A true "Timmy" character.

I made my own character which I think fits the theme nicely

Elite: 5 Points

Parish da Grot

WS:2 BS:3 S:2 T:2 W:2 I:3 A:1 Ld:6 Sv-

Unit Type: Infantry (Character)

Special Rules:
Its a Grot's Life: If this model makes contact with a mine field the entire mine field is removed but so is the model
Parting shots: If this model is destroyed (including removed from play) then it can make a shooting attack before being removed. It can make this shooting attack even if locked in combat.
Will work for food: Is battle brothers with all factions and does not take up a slot when taken in a detachment but does not gain any command benefits. Cannot score objectives and does not count for kill points.
Peg Leg: Parish da Grot has no legs and only 1 peg. Cannot move, run, or charge but can be picked up and moved by a friendly unit following the rules for moving a Relic.

Wargear: Agrotto's Bow. Range Unlimited S:1 AP:- Assault 1, Homing, Twin Linked, Nurf Arrow: A plastic bow with a foam arrow. If fired the shot can instead target a Dark Eldar Psyker that is in the game including models in transports, buildings, and/or in reserves. If this shot is being rolled against a Dark Eldar Psyker then it always hits on a 2+, is always a precision shot, cannot be look out sired, and can hit a model locked in combat. After rolling to hit you roll 6d6 and if the value is greater than the leadership of the model then remove the model from the game with no saves or FNP of any kind.

Completely ignoring the OP's character, I want to use a character that is basically a scarecrow looking gretchen that you can pick up, carry around, and even throw to reposition (because its on a stick and can't move on its own).

Now that's how you make a homebrew! Take note OP.

I also have my own character:

Robot Girlyman:

WS whatever BS doesn't matter Str why bother, etc.

Special Rules:
Teh Beztest Primarhc: When this model is deployed, opponent loses the game.

Even ignoring his rules, what little fluff I can piece together makes no sense at all.

Tbf to the op he or bably made this character in mind with going 1 on 1 with primarchs

Champion of Slaanesh wrote:
Tbf to the op he or bably made this character in mind with going 1 on 1 with primarchs

Most of the Primarchs would kill to be half as good as this guy. He didn't make them to go 1 on 1 with the Primarchs, it looks like he made it to go 1 on 1 with a Warlord Titan or 1 on infinity versus anything else.

Automatically knowing invisibility is, by itself, more broken than any rule in 30k ever. So broken that Forge World took it away from the one model that could have done it in the past (Lorgar Transfigured).

Now consider that even without psychic powers this guy is already way better than Lorgar Transfigured.

 Unit1126PLL wrote:

Champion of Slaanesh wrote:
Tbf to the op he or bably made this character in mind with going 1 on 1 with primarchs

Most of the Primarchs would kill to be half as good as this guy. He didn't make them to go 1 on 1 with the Primarchs, it looks like he made it to go 1 on 1 with a Warlord Titan or 1 on infinity versus anything else.

Automatically knowing invisibility is, by itself, more broken than any rule in 30k ever. So broken that Forge World took it away from the one model that could have done it in the past (Lorgar Transfigured).

Now consider that even without psychic powers this guy is already way better than Lorgar Transfigured.

Eh in not so sure he's better than lorgar
Remember lorgar manifests on a 3+ among other things and can bring more psykers than this guy can. I'm not saying he isn't broken but some of the primarchs are stupid good

Champion of Slaanesh wrote:

 Unit1126PLL wrote:

Champion of Slaanesh wrote:
Tbf to the op he or bably made this character in mind with going 1 on 1 with primarchs

Most of the Primarchs would kill to be half as good as this guy. He didn't make them to go 1 on 1 with the Primarchs, it looks like he made it to go 1 on 1 with a Warlord Titan or 1 on infinity versus anything else.

Automatically knowing invisibility is, by itself, more broken than any rule in 30k ever. So broken that Forge World took it away from the one model that could have done it in the past (Lorgar Transfigured).

Now consider that even without psychic powers this guy is already way better than Lorgar Transfigured.

Eh in not so sure he's better than lorgar
Remember lorgar manifests on a 3+ among other things and can bring more psykers than this guy can. I'm not saying he isn't broken but some of the primarchs are stupid good

One of my common opponents runs Lorgar Transfigured. I routinely kill him with Solar Auxilia.

An example of a homebrew character (for 40k) that most anyone would agree to play against.

My Blood Angels 5th Battle Company Captain. Aedus Sendini

Standard Blood Angels Captain Stat line.

Wargear: Artificer Armor, The Crown Angelic (Blood Angels Relic), Relic Blade, Hand Flamer, Iron Halo, Jump Pack, & Frag + Krak Grenades.

My Captain has existed in some form or another since 3rd edition and he always wears a Death Mask, so I went with one of the less used Relics (Crown Angelic Relic, a death mask) for his Relic for rule of cool.

Aedus means 'Fiery' so I went with the Hand Flamer option even though it's less effective than other choices.

The only 'rule' I add for him, and it's mostly just because I think it's fun, is that with my opponents permission, I bump the cost of his Hand Flamer up to 15 points and increase the weapons stats to ST:4, AP:6 Template. Essentially making it a slightly worse flamer stat wise that is also a Pistol weapon. It doesn't add to his attacks since the Relic Blade is considered a 2 handed weapon, but again I went with rule of cool and I like flamer weapons on my Blood Angels.

In all the games I've used him, even with the above mentioned tweak to his Hand Flamer, nobody has ever refused to play me. At worst they ask I just treat it as a normal hand flamer which I am happy to do, and adjust my list 5 points to make up the difference.

That's how to run a homebrew character. Don't cheese it out, just build something cool using the rules given, make one, maybe two tweaks that are not outlandish and priced appropriately, and go. Just be prepared to play someone who doesn't want to use any extra rules and field it as you built it without any tweaks.

My .02 pennies. Take it easy.

-Red__Thirst-

I thinks it's fine to come up with more elaborate homebrews as long as it is for something in the fluff that has no rules. I, for example, have only come up with two homebrews that I have used in game: one of them was for some cult Nurgle and Tzeentch chaos knights and the other was DOOMRIDER! Both of which my opponant was fine with playing because I had posted them on here to make sure they were correctly balanced and because I had talked to my opponant before hand about using them.

Well, now that we have established the fact that Thulsa here is OP as taking a fully-kitted out Riptide battlesuit into a 1000-point game, lets tone things down a little, shall we.

First, we change the 'Transcendant Creature' special rule to allow him only to re-roll failed tests (ditching the mastery over Telepathy and Divination) and only allowing him to roll powers on the Biomancy table, with the exception that he cannot take the Primaris Power (Smite)

Second, tone down the 'Spirits of a Golden Era' to only grant Fear, and forcing all Fear/Morale tests caused by him to be taken a -1 Leadership.

Thirdly, making Drach'nyen lose the Daemon Weapon special rule, to represent the fact that its wielder has the scorn of the Dark Gods instead of their blessing.

Fourth, Losing the Nemesis Device and Shadow Field and replacing both with a 5+ Invulnerable Save that only takes effect against close combat attacks.

Fifth is toning down his basic Strength and Toughness to 4, before buffing his Initiative to 7 and his Weapon Skill to 8 (Like Drazhar)

Sixth, is reducing his Psychic Level to 2

All these added together means that he has a profile like this:

WS:8 BS:5 S:4(5) T:4 W:4 I:7 A:5 Ld:10 Sv:2+ Armour/5+ Invulnerable/5+ FnP

Special Rules:

Eternal Warrior

Fear + above effect

Psyker (Mastery Level 2)

Fearless

Wargear:

Drach'nyen (Strength +1, AP:2, Melee, Murderous Strike, Two-handed)
Please note that unlike the 40k version, this version is Two-handed because Thulsa does not wear Terminator Armour and is not a Space Marine, thus lacking the enhanced muscle mass to use it with one hand.

Tainted Pheonix Armour (2+ Armour, 5+ FnP)

Now, much more easy to slay. (His original purpose was to give the Dark Eldar something able to go toe-to-toe with a Primarch, or at least to tarpit his ass in a challenge)

What do you think of him now?

Why the hell does he have Drach'nyen? That is one of the most lore-breaking, Mary Sue issues in a character full of them.

Why would a Dark Eldar wield a daemon weapon? Why is he a psyker?

Why would a dark eldar carry a legendary deamon weapon that only was unlocked by a black crusade and chaos gods?

That's abaddons sword....

I didn't even notice that OP gave a DE Abaddon's sword, what exactly is the explanation behind that?

To answer the main question of 'Why in the name of Slaanesh does a DE have Drach'nyen???' I'll make this short.
No this is NOT the personal toothpick of old Abbadon. If you would look closer at its statline (at the latest incarnation), then you will notice that it is merely nothing better then a Two-handed Paragon Blade without Specialist Weapon.
My reasoning behind keeping the name of Drach'nyen; it sounds pretty sweet...
...And I am intending on keeping it until I (Or you guys/girls) can come up with a better name.
Now can we get back on track please?

Also, am thinking of ditching Thulsa's current CC-only Invulnerable Save (5+) and his FnP and replace them both with either a Shadowfield (2++) or Clone Field (4++) What do you think?

Let's start from the top with the original Stat Line and Details:

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
WS:7 BS:5 S:6(7) T:6(7) W:5(7) I:6 A:5 Ld:10 Sv:2+ Armour/4+Feel no Pain/2+ Invulnerable

Let's hold it right there. Such high Characteristics should not exist outside the most powerful and/or large Characters/Weapons of War. You're here to create a custom character, not end the galaxy with one unit. Since I have no idea what you're going for with this character, I have no other advice than to say "Tone it waaaaaaay down."

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
Unit Type: Infantry (Character)

I would probably make this unit unique as well.

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
Transcendent Creature: Having drank the knowledge of the souls of countless Eldar, Thulsa re-rolls all failed Psychic Tests, and knows all powers from either the Telepathy and Divination discipline's (Select one at the start of the game).

...

Psyker (Mastery Level 3)

If you're going to give this character a powerful stat-line, then making them a psyker of any description (even if they're a Mastery Level 1 Psyker with no other bonuses) is just added salt to the wound. Take out the psykic stuff altogether.

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
He-who-walks-a-thousand-paths: Starting out as a concubine for the Dark Eldar, then a gladiator, haemonculus, sorcerer and, finally, as a dread Incubus, Thulsa has walked across the dust of a thousand worlds in search of the one who betrayed him so long ago... Thulsa has the Eternal Warrior special rule. In addition, if he is selected as the Warlord, then he may choose D3+2 Warlord Traits from the Warhammer 40000 Rulebook and the Space Marine Legion Warlord Traits. No more then two may be taken from any one selection.

Eternal Warrior you might be able to get away with (I emphasis 'might'), but the D3+2 Warlord Traits is ridiculous. That should not be a thing... ever. That's just asking for the mechanics of the game to be abused to the max (not to mention adding unnecessary power to an already very powerful model).

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
Spirits of the Golden Era: Having stolen a banquet of Eldar souls from the table of Slaanesh itself, they have linked themselves into Thulsa's own soul. In exchange for this, they lash out during the heat of combat, striking down the souls of those who would dare harm their host. At the start of each close combat phase, Each enemy model in base contact with Thulsa takes D6 Strength 4 hits at Initiative 10 with the Shred special rule. No Invulnerable or Feel no Pain saves may be taken against these attacks. In addition, Thulsa has the Fear and Shrouded special rules.

Be rid of this. It's too powerful and completely unnecessary.

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
Fearless

Understandable. I have no objection to this.

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
...Artefacts:

*Artifacts

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
Drach'nyen [Range:-, Strength: +1, AP:2, Special Rules: Melee, Daemon Weapon, Murderous Strike, Two-handed] When his psychic powers awoke in the black heart of the Dark City, Thulsa was flung into the Realm of Chaos itself. Whatever happened in that cursed land of gods and daemons, he will not say. Only the terrible greatsword known to daemonkind as 'The Shard of Madness' rested firmly within his hands when he finally emerged from the hellscape...

The Nemesis Device [+1 to all FnP rolls, +2 Wounds, +1 Toughness, Very Bulky, All attacks with the Poisoned or Fleshbane special rules only inflict a wound on the roll of a 6] Worn much like the Servo-Harnesses of the Tech-Priests of the Machine Cult, The Nemesis Device is instead an artificer-crafted chestplate and backpack of tainted wraithbone of Thulsa's own creation, inset with countless Eldar spirit-stones. Hiding beneath its smooth black surface are countless arcane devices and alchemical elixirs that speed the wearers healing rate and toughness beyond any mortal means. Behind each of his shoulders, sprout a pair of bio mechanical tentacles able to punch through terminator armour. Few foes are capable of matching Thulsa, and those that can often struggle to inflict damage against such a creature.

Tainted Phoenix Armour (Body, Legs, Arms) [2+ Armour Save, 5+ Feel no Pain] Made by a masterful Eldar artisan in the days leading up to The Fall, this particular set of armour was once worn by the fallen Phoenix Lord Arhra, when he was still a mortal. Much like its descendants, this style of armour would later be adopted by the fallen lords disciples, the Incubi. Made from hyper-compressed plates of jet-black self healing adamantine and covered in hundreds of grav-studs, the segmented plates are able to turn aside all but the most potent of attacks. The amount of slaughter and carnage cause by its previous owner has given it a dark sentience of its own, caressing its wearers flesh with tendrils of dark energy, rejuvenating and nourishing whilst it feed off the spilled blood and souls of the fallen.

Shadow Field [2+ Invulnerable Save, If failed, the model loses this save for the rest of the game]

Pretty much all of this you should ditch. It's heinously powerful, especially given what this character already starts with.

Now let's move onto your revisions:

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
First, we change the 'Transcendant Creature' special rule to allow him only to re-roll failed tests (ditching the mastery over Telepathy and Divination) and only allowing him to roll powers on the Biomancy table, with the exception that he cannot take the Primaris Power (Smite).

...

Sixth, is reducing his Psychic Level to 2

As I said before, ditch all psykic stuff.

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
Second, tone down the 'Spirits of a Golden Era' to only grant Fear, and forcing all Fear/Morale tests caused by him to be taken a -1 Leadership.

I'm not 100% sold on this revision, but it's definitely a big step closer to being a hell of a lot better.

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
Fifth is toning down his basic Strength and Toughness to 4, before buffing his Initiative to 7 and his Weapon Skill to 8 (Like Drazhar)

Nope nope nope nope nope. You don't need to buff the stat-line. It needs a nerf on so many fronts. No.

 IllumiNini wrote:
Let's start from the top with the original Stat Line and Details:

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
WS:7 BS:5 S:6(7) T:6(7) W:5(7) I:6 A:5 Ld:10 Sv:2+ Armour/4+Feel no Pain/2+ Invulnerable

Let's hold it right there. Such high Characteristics should not exist outside the most powerful and/or large Characters/Weapons of War. You're here to create a custom character, not end the galaxy with one unit. Since I have no idea what you're going for with this character, I have no other advice than to say "Tone it waaaaaaay down."

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
Unit Type: Infantry (Character)

I would probably make this unit unique as well.

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
Transcendent Creature: Having drank the knowledge of the souls of countless Eldar, Thulsa re-rolls all failed Psychic Tests, and knows all powers from either the Telepathy and Divination discipline's (Select one at the start of the game).

...

Psyker (Mastery Level 3)

If you're going to give this character a powerful stat-line, then making them a psyker of any description (even if they're a Mastery Level 1 Psyker with no other bonuses) is just added salt to the wound. Take out the psykic stuff altogether.

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
He-who-walks-a-thousand-paths: Starting out as a concubine for the Dark Eldar, then a gladiator, haemonculus, sorcerer and, finally, as a dread Incubus, Thulsa has walked across the dust of a thousand worlds in search of the one who betrayed him so long ago... Thulsa has the Eternal Warrior special rule. In addition, if he is selected as the Warlord, then he may choose D3+2 Warlord Traits from the Warhammer 40000 Rulebook and the Space Marine Legion Warlord Traits. No more then two may be taken from any one selection.

Eternal Warrior you might be able to get away with (I emphasis 'might'), but the D3+2 Warlord Traits is ridiculous. That should not be a thing... ever. That's just asking for the mechanics of the game to be abused to the max (not to mention adding unnecessary power to an already very powerful model).

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
Spirits of the Golden Era: Having stolen a banquet of Eldar souls from the table of Slaanesh itself, they have linked themselves into Thulsa's own soul. In exchange for this, they lash out during the heat of combat, striking down the souls of those who would dare harm their host. At the start of each close combat phase, Each enemy model in base contact with Thulsa takes D6 Strength 4 hits at Initiative 10 with the Shred special rule. No Invulnerable or Feel no Pain saves may be taken against these attacks. In addition, Thulsa has the Fear and Shrouded special rules.

Be rid of this. It's too powerful and completely unnecessary.

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
Fearless

Understandable. I have no objection to this.

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
...Artefacts:

*Artifacts

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
Drach'nyen [Range:-, Strength: +1, AP:2, Special Rules: Melee, Daemon Weapon, Murderous Strike, Two-handed] When his psychic powers awoke in the black heart of the Dark City, Thulsa was flung into the Realm of Chaos itself. Whatever happened in that cursed land of gods and daemons, he will not say. Only the terrible greatsword known to daemonkind as 'The Shard of Madness' rested firmly within his hands when he finally emerged from the hellscape...

The Nemesis Device [+1 to all FnP rolls, +2 Wounds, +1 Toughness, Very Bulky, All attacks with the Poisoned or Fleshbane special rules only inflict a wound on the roll of a 6] Worn much like the Servo-Harnesses of the Tech-Priests of the Machine Cult, The Nemesis Device is instead an artificer-crafted chestplate and backpack of tainted wraithbone of Thulsa's own creation, inset with countless Eldar spirit-stones. Hiding beneath its smooth black surface are countless arcane devices and alchemical elixirs that speed the wearers healing rate and toughness beyond any mortal means. Behind each of his shoulders, sprout a pair of bio mechanical tentacles able to punch through terminator armour. Few foes are capable of matching Thulsa, and those that can often struggle to inflict damage against such a creature.

Tainted Phoenix Armour (Body, Legs, Arms) [2+ Armour Save, 5+ Feel no Pain] Made by a masterful Eldar artisan in the days leading up to The Fall, this particular set of armour was once worn by the fallen Phoenix Lord Arhra, when he was still a mortal. Much like its descendants, this style of armour would later be adopted by the fallen lords disciples, the Incubi. Made from hyper-compressed plates of jet-black self healing adamantine and covered in hundreds of grav-studs, the segmented plates are able to turn aside all but the most potent of attacks. The amount of slaughter and carnage cause by its previous owner has given it a dark sentience of its own, caressing its wearers flesh with tendrils of dark energy, rejuvenating and nourishing whilst it feed off the spilled blood and souls of the fallen.

Shadow Field [2+ Invulnerable Save, If failed, the model loses this save for the rest of the game]

Pretty much all of this you should ditch. It's heinously powerful, especially given what this character already starts with.

Now let's move onto your revisions:

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
First, we change the 'Transcendant Creature' special rule to allow him only to re-roll failed tests (ditching the mastery over Telepathy and Divination) and only allowing him to roll powers on the Biomancy table, with the exception that he cannot take the Primaris Power (Smite).

...

Sixth, is reducing his Psychic Level to 2

As I said before, ditch all psykic stuff.

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
Second, tone down the 'Spirits of a Golden Era' to only grant Fear, and forcing all Fear/Morale tests caused by him to be taken a -1 Leadership.

I'm not 100% sold on this revision, but it's definitely a big step closer to being a hell of a lot better.

 Mortarion, The Reaper wrote:
Fifth is toning down his basic Strength and Toughness to 4, before buffing his Initiative to 7 and his Weapon Skill to 8 (Like Drazhar)

Nope nope nope nope nope. You don't need to buff the stat-line. It needs a nerf on so many fronts. No.

Finally, PROGRESS.
The entire point of this character is to give the Dark Eldar a fighting chance against a Primarch in 30K. The buff to his WS & I are negligible, as even with this, NOTHING CAN BE HIT IN 7TH EDITION CLOSE COMBAT ON BETTER THEN A 3+.

'Ahem'

Assuming he is in close combat, his only real defence is his 5+ Invuln and WS, primarily because almost every Praetor build that I play against uses a Paragon Blade and secondly because all the current Primarchs have AP2/1 melee weapons.

With S5 he will struggle to deal any real damage to a Primarch, and with 5 Attacks chances are that he will struggle against tarpits and high-toughness models.

I agree with you on ditching the Psychic stuff, mainly as my friend most often uses Mortarion, rendering its advantages void at best.

In case you missed my previous post, his sword is now just a Two-handed Paragon Blade without Specialist Weapon. Adding to this is the fact that his wimpy 5+ Invulnerable Save only work when he is in close combat.

Long story short, a unique Dark Eldar character for 30k able to hold his own against a Primarch in a challenge. Takes up a Lord of War* slot and [in points] will probably cost a much as a Primarch himself.

*Trying to make a version of the FoC that turns him into the Warlord, with the addition of being able to take Incubi as Troop Choices. No Wych-cult or Haemonculi units/models allowed. Opponent gains additional VP's for destroying the Incubi and and additional D3 VP's for killing Thulsa. Like that 30k Rite of War. (Cant remember the name)