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2020/11/13 11:36:26
Subject: The day it rained Whale. 50th Anniversary.
‘We’re confident it will work, but we’re not sure how much explosives it’ll take.”
"The blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds“ fething classic
The moment where it goes from “Wooow! Look at the explosion!” to instant regret is pretty awesome.
Today is the 50th anniversary of the infamous Exploding Whale of Oregon incident of 1970. In celebration of that, the Oregon Historical Society has released new footage of the frankly baffling event, in which the highway patrol, under the guidance of the Navy, turned a beached whale into a meaty rainshower.
The video puts the incident into glorious 4K, having been restored by AV Geeks in Raleigh, North Carolina, on behalf of the Oregon Historical Society. For those of you who don't yet know the tale, a recap:
In November 1970, an 8-ton sperm whale managed to beach itself just off the Oregon coast. As far as send-offs go, bobbing your way onto the beach isn't the most dignified of affairs. For instance, you'd never suggest it for your nan. However, things were about to get a lot worse for the whale, and about a thousand tonnes more dynamite-y.
At the time, for some reason, the whale fell under the jurisdiction of the highway division. If you ever come across a whale carcass, I'm sure you'll note how similar the problem of getting rid of it is to telling a driver to fix their tail lights, please.
In their wisdom, and following a call with the Navy (who are world-renowned for solving their problems by blowing them up), they decided to solve the whale problem by, yep, blowing it up. The plan was to get some dynamite and obliterate part of the whale, firing the rest of it out to sea. The theory was that the dynamite would propel most of the carcass far enough out that it would drift into the ocean, leaving the smaller, more digestible (and let's face it, cooked) bits of delicious whale corpse for the smaller animals like seagulls to eat.
So far, so grim, but hardly something to name a park for.
Now, you'd think if you were going to blast a whale to smithereens you'd sit down and have a bit of a think about how much dynamite was necessary, rather than just put 20 crates underneath it and "see what happens". Or maybe you'd at least listen to somebody with explosives training when they tell you, "I think you've overdone the old dynamite if I'm honest." Well, you'd be wrong.
Enter businessman Walt Umenhofer. He was on a drive around Florence, Oregon in a brand new car bought a few days earlier from a car dealership offering a "whale of a deal" promotion (this will become relevant later, for fans of whale corpse-based serendipity) when he happened upon the scene. Umenhofer had received explosives training during World War II and was not convinced the highway division had got their calculations right. He told them they either needed much fewer explosives to push the whale out to sea – he suggested 20 sticks, where they were using 20 crates – or a hell of a lot more, in order to completely obliterate the carcass into tiny chewable whale nuggets.
The head of the project dismissed him, so Umenhofer retreated as far as he could to watch the inevitable disaster, behind his shiny new whale-free car. Joining him were local journalists documenting the whole thing and citizens who just fancied a bit of a gawp. (Look, I'm not saying I'm proud of myself but if someone said "There's a bunch of people at the beach who have never blown up a whale before about to try and blow up a whale," I'm not not pushing my way to the front.)
All that was left to do was for highway engineer and project manager George Thornton to tell reporters – and this is a direct quote, as you'll see in the video below – "I'm confident that it'll work, the only thing is we're not sure how much explosives it'll take to disintegrate this thing."
At this point, I'm going to insist that you watch the newly-restored footage because it is the best thing available on the Internet, cats included.
The explosion caused massive pieces of blubber to get blown quite some distance onto buildings, cars in parking lots, and people who had previously been minding their own business and enjoying how whale blubber wasn't currently raining down from the sky.
“Explosions in the movies usually look like a blast of fire and smoke," journalist Paul Linnman said later, describing the incident in a book. "This one more resembled a mighty burst of tomato juice.”
The whale debris rained down such a distance some hit the shiny new car belonging to Walt Umenhofer, completely caving in the roof, which you'll remember from a few paragraphs prior, he bought in a whaley good deal.
"My insurance company's never going to believe this," Umenhofer reportedly said as a highway worker removed some blubber from his car with a shovel.
After all this, Thornton told reporters that "it went just exactly right," except for the blast creating a hole underneath the whale, thereby causing the whale to be blasted towards the onlookers rather than the ocean, creating the meaty downpour of partially cooked whale soup.
Luckily, the people of Oregon have decided to embrace their heritage and celebrate the unusual event, even naming a memorial park after it.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2020/11/13 11:43:10
"Sometimes the only victory possible is to keep your opponent from winning." - The Emperor, from The Outcast Dead.
"Tell your gods we are coming for them, and that their realms will burn as ours did." -Thostos Bladestorm
2020/11/13 17:03:13
Subject: The day it rained Whale. 50th Anniversary.
Go watch "The Dollops" Whalesplosion episode. The best one.
My favorite part of whalesplosion is that the guy who warned them so much it wouldnt work, got a new car in a "Whale of a deal" promotion, that then got destroyed by a chunk of whale when he went to watch.
5000pts 6000pts 3000pts
2020/11/13 19:15:23
Subject: Re:The day it rained Whale. 50th Anniversary.
And let that be a warning to the other whales not to return to our shores again!
IRON WITHIN, IRON WITHOUT.
New Heavy Gear Log! Also...Grey Knights! The correct pronunciation is Imperial Guard and Stormtroopers, "Astra Militarum" and "Tempestus Scions" are something you'll find at Hogwarts.
2020/11/16 19:21:43
Subject: The day it rained Whale. 50th Anniversary.
Vaktathi wrote: And let that be a warning to the other whales not to return to our shores again!
Thus ended any hope of an alliance with the Whale Nation. Gone in a puff of stinking red mist.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2020/11/16 19:33:49
"Sometimes the only victory possible is to keep your opponent from winning." - The Emperor, from The Outcast Dead.
"Tell your gods we are coming for them, and that their realms will burn as ours did." -Thostos Bladestorm
2020/11/16 19:35:59
Subject: The day it rained Whale. 50th Anniversary.
AngryAngel80 wrote: I don't know, when I see awesome rules, I'm like " Baby, your rules looking so fine. Maybe I gotta add you to my first strike battalion eh ? "
NinthMusketeer wrote: I would ask why they did not tow it out to sea and sink it, but I know the answer;
MURICA!!!
Growing up in that state, the explanation was that it had been sitting long enough that they were worried it would just come apart if they tried to drag it out
2020/11/17 12:18:11
Subject: Re:The day it rained Whale. 50th Anniversary.
NinthMusketeer wrote: I would ask why they did not tow it out to sea and sink it, but I know the answer;
MURICA!!!
Growing up in that state, the explanation was that it had been sitting long enough that they were worried it would just come apart if they tried to drag it out
And as per human nature, once someone comes up with an iidea, all effort is used to make that idea work, no matter how bad an idea it is.
5000pts 6000pts 3000pts
2020/11/17 23:59:15
Subject: The day it rained Whale. 50th Anniversary.
NinthMusketeer wrote: I would ask why they did not tow it out to sea and sink it, but I know the answer;
MURICA!!!
Growing up in that state, the explanation was that it had been sitting long enough that they were worried it would just come apart if they tried to drag it out
And as per human nature, once someone comes up with an iidea, all effort is used to make that idea work, no matter how bad an idea it is.
Yes but. . . . spreading rotting horrible smelling decomposing whale carcass over a 1/2 mile radius is MUCH better than only spreading it like, 500 yards if that.
2020/11/18 01:22:18
Subject: The day it rained Whale. 50th Anniversary.