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It doesn’t seem the right subject matter for comedy but you never know. Does anyone think any of the 40K men’s out there are actually funny?
I certainly couldn’t think of any so I asked AI to have a go
Of course! Here's your joke:
Azrael and Ragnar Blackmane decided to go on holiday to a beautiful beach planet to relax and enjoy some sunshine. As they were lounging on the sand, Azrael turned to Ragnar and said, "You know, I think we deserve a break from all the fighting and bloodshed."
Ragnar nodded in agreement and replied, "Absolutely, it's good to take a break and recharge."
Just then, a group of Orks appeared on the beach and started causing a ruckus. Azrael and Ragnar quickly sprang into action, grabbing their weapons and charging into battle.
As they were fighting, Ragnar turned to Azrael and shouted, "I thought we were on vacation!"
Azrael grinned and replied, "This is our kind of vacation!"
It's a meme, in the original image the person that gets suprised by the other two has a smoothie and a leashed ostrich, and answers 'A smoothie' to the question. The joke is that they have two things with them, one completely mundane and one very extraordinary, and give the answer as though the other persons were interested in the mundane thing, and not in the obviously extraordinary thing that they're actually inquiring about.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2023/04/05 17:14:14
"A platoon of guardsmen were holding a valuable objective against a massive WAAAGH, and were successfully cutting down each wave of greenskins that came at them. After about 10 waves however, the guardsmen began running out of ammo. One of the sergents ran up to his Commissar and pleaded for him to sound the retreat.
"We're all out of ammo sir, we can't hold the line anymore they'll overrun us for sure!"
"Nonsense, you don't even need ammo to kill orks!"
The Guardsman looked confused at this statement.
"When the next wave of orks comes over the hill, point your weapons at them, and shout BANG as loud as you can, and the xenos filth will fall over dead!"
The Commissar then ordered him back into his ranks and to spread the word. The sergent, certain he and his men would soon die, did as his commissar ordered. When the next wave of orks came over the hill, he pointed his empty lasgun at the horde and shouted "BANG!" To his amazement, an ork fell over, seemingly dead. He thought perhaps someone had shot it with a spare round, so he pointed his gun yet again and shouted "BANG!" Another ork dropped dead, and the sergent saw a glimmer of hope.
He and his men "shot" the rest of the orks dead, shouting "BANG" all up and down the line. They were all shocked that it had actually worked! The next wave of orks came over, and this time the guardsmen were so excited that they began having a little fun with it. They'd pick up rocks, throwing them and shouting "BANG", and scores of orks would drop. Some even simply ran up to the orks with no weapon and shouted "BANG", killing the xenos instantly. They smiled and jeered the simple greenskins at how easy it was to kill them.
The third wave came over, and as they bore down on the guardsmen, the imperial platoon began shouting "BANG" as they had before. This time none of the orks dropped however. They thought maybe they hadn't been loud enough, so they shouted again, but still none of the orks died. The guardsmen began to panic and screamed bang repeatedly and frantically, but to no avail. The ork horde reached the guardsmen and cut them all down with their choppas. As the sergent fell, the life bleeding from him, he faintly heard the ork passing him chanting
"I'm a tank, I'm a tank, I'm a tank.""
ATTENTION. Psychic tests are unfluffy. Your longing for AV is understandable but misguided. Your chapter doesn't need a separate codex. Doctrines should go away. Being a "troop" means nothing. This has been a cranky service announcement. You may now resume your regularly scheduled arguing.
Wyldhunt wrote: I always liked this one (copied from reddit):
"A platoon of guardsmen were holding a valuable objective against a massive WAAAGH, and were successfully cutting down each wave of greenskins that came at them. After about 10 waves however, the guardsmen began running out of ammo. One of the sergents ran up to his Commissar and pleaded for him to sound the retreat.
"We're all out of ammo sir, we can't hold the line anymore they'll overrun us for sure!"
"Nonsense, you don't even need ammo to kill orks!"
The Guardsman looked confused at this statement.
"When the next wave of orks comes over the hill, point your weapons at them, and shout BANG as loud as you can, and the xenos filth will fall over dead!"
The Commissar then ordered him back into his ranks and to spread the word. The sergent, certain he and his men would soon die, did as his commissar ordered. When the next wave of orks came over the hill, he pointed his empty lasgun at the horde and shouted "BANG!" To his amazement, an ork fell over, seemingly dead. He thought perhaps someone had shot it with a spare round, so he pointed his gun yet again and shouted "BANG!" Another ork dropped dead, and the sergent saw a glimmer of hope.
He and his men "shot" the rest of the orks dead, shouting "BANG" all up and down the line. They were all shocked that it had actually worked! The next wave of orks came over, and this time the guardsmen were so excited that they began having a little fun with it. They'd pick up rocks, throwing them and shouting "BANG", and scores of orks would drop. Some even simply ran up to the orks with no weapon and shouted "BANG", killing the xenos instantly. They smiled and jeered the simple greenskins at how easy it was to kill them.
The third wave came over, and as they bore down on the guardsmen, the imperial platoon began shouting "BANG" as they had before. This time none of the orks dropped however. They thought maybe they hadn't been loud enough, so they shouted again, but still none of the orks died. The guardsmen began to panic and screamed bang repeatedly and frantically, but to no avail. The ork horde reached the guardsmen and cut them all down with their choppas. As the sergent fell, the life bleeding from him, he faintly heard the ork passing him chanting
An army of Whitescar Bikers and an army of Ravenwing Bikers are chasing down a notorious Kult of Speed, hoping to cut them off before they can get to a lightly defended Imperial city. They're confident they can get into position before the Orks, but they want to be sure they'll have a big enough force to win the battle so they call for back-up.
Just before they arrive in position, an army of Bikers from the Mudskippers chapter emerges from cover and struggles to catch up. One of the Scars and one of the Ravenwing drops back to parlay with their reinforcements.
"I am Kotaro Khan, and I was born to the saddle, " says the Scar.
"I am Brother Arathiel, and my performance on a bike saw me hand-picked by Sammael himself to join the Ravenwing," says the DA.
"We don't recognize your colours and we're concerned about your ability to keep pace with us as we head off the Greentide."
"I am Chad of the Mudskippers Chapter; our homeworld is swamp that is unsuitable to wheeled vehicles, but don't worry: I'm part of an Outriders detachment too."
PenitentJake wrote: An army of Whitescar Bikers and an army of Ravenwing Bikers are chasing down a notorious Kult of Speed, hoping to cut them off before they can get to a lightly defended Imperial city. They're confident they can get into position before the Orks, but they want to be sure they'll have a big enough force to win the battle so they call for back-up.
Just before they arrive in position, an army of Bikers from the Mudskippers chapter emerges from cover and struggles to catch up. One of the Scars and one of the Ravenwing drops back to parlay with their reinforcements.
"I am Kotaro Khan, and I was born to the saddle, " says the Scar.
"I am Brother Arathiel, and my performance on a bike saw me hand-picked by Sammael himself to join the Ravenwing," says the DA.
"We don't recognize your colours and we're concerned about your ability to keep pace with us as we head off the Greentide."
"I am Chad of the Mudskippers Chapter; our homeworld is swamp that is unsuitable to wheeled vehicles, but don't worry: I'm part of an Outriders detachment too."
The problem I have with 40k jokes is that I've been in and around the game for around fifteen years, and every couple of editions people cycle through and there's a whole new crowd of people who started this edition or last edition for whom this is all new, so I hear the same jokes over and over and over again because they've gotten a lot older for me than they have for lots of other people. I describe 40k jokes these days as like hanging around people who have just discovered Monty Python and the Holy Grail and now communicate entirely in quotes from the movie.
Ork Joke:
Did youz ere about Grozzag, he sat on dat grot and it went splat.
Tau Joke:
Why did Shas'O D'yanoi Sio'os cross the roadway?
For the Greater Good.
Drukhari Joke:
How many tortured screaming humans does it take to power a lightbulb?
Never enough.
Dark Angel Joke:
Did you hear the one about the Fallen?
You did?
*Intense bolter fire and chainsword noises*
Guard Joke:
How many guardsmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
Refer to the Munitorum Manual on field replacement of basic equipment section 4.5a - "No, the glow lamp does not contain a machine spirit" for further information. Failure to properly ensure field base lighting functions may result in summary execution for dereliction of basic field base maintenance. The Emperor protects!
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2023/04/06 20:00:57
