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Me: blahblahblah ... well you bought a california roll from a H.E.B. in Corpus Christi. Of course it was gross. By the way, does anyone where shoes in grocery stores here? And why did that old lady touch your face and say stuff in Spanish earlier? Creepy.

*excited scanning by checkout lady*

Her: It was the ojo! I don't know how many times I have to explain it too you.

*lady with big cart of stuff holding a baby comes up behind us*

Her (en espanol) do you need any help?

Other her: Yes!

*GF grabs ladies baby and holds it while lady throws stuff on conveyor belt*

H.E.B.?

Here Everything is Better

Supermarket popular in Texas.

avantgarde wrote:Here Everything is Better

Supermarket popular in Texas.

Popular is a slight understatement. It's a like a cultural icon. >.>

SO my sweetie is all excited that she's going to cook traditional New Year's food for me, noodles and rice cakes and black beans.

SHe gets a care package from her mom and pulls out a bag of rusty nails.

"Sweetie what are these for?"
"We put this in the beans to give them black color"
"AH... of course."

I think I'll skip that dish. But then again who knows what's in the others.

Kid_Kyoto wrote:SO my sweetie is all excited that she's going to cook traditional New Year's food for me, noodles and rice cakes and black beans.

SHe gets a care package from her mom and pulls out a bag of rusty nails.

"Sweetie what are these for?"
"We put this in the beans to give them black color"
"AH... of course."

I think I'll skip that dish. But then again who knows what's in the others.

The nails are to keep the guests at the table while the food is being prepared.

It's the only way to make sure you stay put and "enjoy" your meal.

The beans are really nice -- eat them!

Kilkrazy wrote:The beans are really nice -- eat them!

But.. but... rusty nails!

Kid_Kyoto wrote:

Kilkrazy wrote:The beans are really nice -- eat them!

But.. but... rusty nails!

They're just in the pot, it's not like you actually have to eat the nails themselves. There is more to the world of food than bologna on white bread /w mayo ya know. Live a little!

My bologna has a first name its OSCAR!

My BOLOGNA has a second name its eat those goddamn beans

Really? Eat Those Goddamn Beans is my mother's maiden name!

Small world.

KingCracker wrote:My BOLOGNA has a second name its eat those goddamn beans

I loled.

Killkrazy, Frazzeled and Kid-Kyoto are the kind of people I would want to meat. They have funny stories. And Frazzeled is a dog person, so bonus points there.

You know, I did a school exchange in Japan, and I never heard of any of these fancy wives tales. BUT I was attacked by an old women in the streets over a riceball!

Happygrunt wrote:

KingCracker wrote:My BOLOGNA has a second name its eat those goddamn beans

I loled.

Killkrazy, Frazzeled and Kid-Kyoto are the kind of people I would want to meat. They have funny stories. And Frazzeled is a dog person, so bonus points there.

You know, I did a school exchange in Japan, and I never heard of any of these fancy wives tales. BUT I was attacked by an old women in the streets over a riceball!

I'm not so sure their wives would be happy with you meating them.

Chongara wrote:

Happygrunt wrote:

KingCracker wrote:My BOLOGNA has a second name its eat those goddamn beans

I loled.

Killkrazy, Frazzeled and Kid-Kyoto are the kind of people I would want to meat. They have funny stories. And Frazzeled is a dog person, so bonus points there.

You know, I did a school exchange in Japan, and I never heard of any of these fancy wives tales. BUT I was attacked by an old women in the streets over a riceball!

I'm not so sure their wives would be happy with you meating them.

Chongara wins the thread. LOL

Chongara wrote:

Happygrunt wrote:

KingCracker wrote:My BOLOGNA has a second name its eat those goddamn beans

I loled.

Killkrazy, Frazzeled and Kid-Kyoto are the kind of people I would want to meat. They have funny stories. And Frazzeled is a dog person, so bonus points there.

You know, I did a school exchange in Japan, and I never heard of any of these fancy wives tales. BUT I was attacked by an old women in the streets over a riceball!

I'm not so sure their wives would be happy with you meating them.

It was late, leave me alone!

I got my point across didnt I?

Here's one:

We had a Tuna Head for Christmas dinner at mother-in-laws. They went insane for it like Jesus Himself had personally delivered it.

Khornholio wrote:Here's one:

We had a Tuna Head for Christmas dinner at mother-in-laws. They went insane for it like Jesus Himself had personally delivered it.

I'm dangerously out of my limited knowledge here, but....normally fatty tuna is considered really good, and the muscles of the tuna's head don't do a whole hell of a lot, so maybe it's fatty up there. Also, even on a big damn tuna, it still only has ONE head. You can get hundreds of pounds of tuna from one fish, but only one head.

Of course, if Jesus delivers your food, tip well.

^^ No tipping in Japan. JC would've been S.O.L.

Tuna head?

KingCracker wrote:Tuna head?

You need to in order to Tuna fish.

Call me crazy........but thats the tail

KingCracker wrote:Call me crazy........but thats the tail

You have to tuna tail when you tuna fish so the tuna head can play the music.

Where else does the noise from a fish come from? You certainly don't have to tuna ass to get noise after tunaing a fish.

Khornholio wrote:Here's one:

We had a Tuna Head for Christmas dinner at mother-in-laws. They went insane for it like Jesus Himself had personally delivered it.

Dude, the meat inside the jaw is the best. I was grossed out a little when I went to an izakaya and my wife (then GF) ordered the jaw of a tuna. I thought, "what the hell?" and gave it a try; tastiest tuna I've ever eaten.....of course it could have been the 4 or 5 apple sours talking...

WarOne wrote:

KingCracker wrote:Call me crazy........but thats the tail

You have to tuna tail when you tuna fish so the tuna head can play the music.

Where else does the noise from a fish come from? You certainly don't have to tuna ass to get noise after tunaing a fish.

You set me up on that one didnt you

@ kid+kyotot: love the thread and I hear where you are coming from. My wife is from Thailand and she mixes up the words "naked" and "negative". So for some reason I always get excited when we look over my bank statement together. lol

Keep the dialogue rolling, Cross-cultural marriages FTW!!!

King Cracker is wasting internet trees.

Happygrunt wrote:King Cracker is wasting internet trees.

It's OK I cut and pasted some extra ones last week.

So my wife caught my cheating last night.

She slaved in the kitchen making me a healthy low-cal vegetarian meal for dinner, but then, after she was asleep I had TWO chocolate chip granola bars. She discovered the wrappers in the trash the next day.

I feel so guilty.

Kid_Kyoto wrote:So my wife caught my cheating last night.

She slaved in the kitchen making me a healthy low-cal vegetarian meal for dinner, but then, after she was asleep I had TWO chocolate chip granola bars. She discovered the wrappers in the trash the next day.

I feel so guilty.

So you did the man thing and lied your ass off about it right?

I dont have a CLUE how those got in there hunny..... Im tellin ya your dinner was fantastic. I mean, you know what it WAS? I bet *insert friend that your wife REALLY hates* did that to make you think I didnt heart your dinner. Boy oh boy I tell you what, hes getting a good ear full when I see him next, infact I think hes at the bar right now.... Ill go and defend your honor.


Thats how I saw it anyways