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Albatross wrote:

Ediin wrote:

Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!

(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)

I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.

Yes, racists are often surprised when people don't meet their crude stereotypical expectations.

Oh by acupuncture, I thought he meant something else. I know if I was a doctor that's how I would "relieve" my patients of cancer.

Albatross wrote:

Ediin wrote:

Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!

(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)

I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.

Yes, racists are often surprised when people don't meet their crude stereotypical expectations.

I'm racist?

If I said something inappropriate, I'm sorry.

To be fair to Ediin, her behavior is only noteworthy if it's "cross-cultural".

My wife notified me the other day that our neighbours think my hair is too long.

Khornholio wrote:My wife notified me the other day that our neighbours think my hair is too long.

Really? I'd have to walk over and refresh them on the meaning of the term "ugly American," at that point. Unless your hair is too long, hippy boy.

Ediin wrote:

Albatross wrote:

Ediin wrote:

Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!

(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)

I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.

Yes, racists are often surprised when people don't meet their crude stereotypical expectations.

I'm racist?

If I said something inappropriate, I'm sorry.

Well for starters, I get the impression that Kid_Kyoto's missus is Japanese? Acupuncture is Chinese - but hey, that's vaguely 'oriental', right? Also, even if she IS Chinese, why would you just assume that she would be into acupuncture? Not all Chinese people believe in acupuncture, nor do they practice Kung-Fu etc.

It's just a dodgy assumption to make.

Albatross wrote:

Ediin wrote:

Albatross wrote:

Ediin wrote:

Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!

(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)

I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.

Yes, racists are often surprised when people don't meet their crude stereotypical expectations.

I'm racist?

If I said something inappropriate, I'm sorry.

Well for starters, I get the impression that Kid_Kyoto's missus is Japanese? Acupuncture is Chinese - but hey, that's vaguely 'oriental', right? Also, even if she IS Chinese, why would you just assume that she would be into acupuncture? Not all Chinese people believe in acupuncture, nor do they practice Kung-Fu etc.

It's just a dodgy assumption to make.

I've often been the target for racism myself and I know how it feels. Once again, I apologize.

Ediin wrote:

Albatross wrote:

Ediin wrote:

Albatross wrote:

Ediin wrote:

Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!

(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)

I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.

Yes, racists are often surprised when people don't meet their crude stereotypical expectations.

I'm racist?

If I said something inappropriate, I'm sorry.

Well for starters, I get the impression that Kid_Kyoto's missus is Japanese? Acupuncture is Chinese - but hey, that's vaguely 'oriental', right? Also, even if she IS Chinese, why would you just assume that she would be into acupuncture? Not all Chinese people believe in acupuncture, nor do they practice Kung-Fu etc.

It's just a dodgy assumption to make.

I've often been the target for racism myself and I know how it feels. Once again, I apologize.

Don't apologise to me - I don't give a gak!

Albatross wrote:

Ediin wrote:

Albatross wrote:

Ediin wrote:

Albatross wrote:

Ediin wrote:

Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!

(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)

I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.

Yes, racists are often surprised when people don't meet their crude stereotypical expectations.

I'm racist?

If I said something inappropriate, I'm sorry.

Well for starters, I get the impression that Kid_Kyoto's missus is Japanese? Acupuncture is Chinese - but hey, that's vaguely 'oriental', right? Also, even if she IS Chinese, why would you just assume that she would be into acupuncture? Not all Chinese people believe in acupuncture, nor do they practice Kung-Fu etc.

It's just a dodgy assumption to make.

I've often been the target for racism myself and I know how it feels. Once again, I apologize.

Don't apologise to me - I don't give a gak!

Assumptions are the mother of all screw-ups. However, assumptions are an easy way to not engage in a five minute long conversation about the meaning of "Hi" as you want past a person who is a complete stranger but you feel awkward when you make eye contact with them and must find some way to greet them without appearing creepy, hostile, horny, ect. and then you decide on the most commonist lingo possible in America greetings by uttering a one syllable, two letter construction of a word that is a corrupted slang version of the word hallo which originates from Germany and oft was used to hail a ferryman, but came to prominence in America in the mid-19th century and popularized by Thomas Edison as the way he greeted a friend and the connotation stuck to telephone use as which can be clearly demonstrated from the fact that women who operated telephone boards were known as hello-girls.

*Gasp*

See what happens when you DON'T use assumptions?

Gak?

WarOne wrote:

Albatross wrote:

Ediin wrote:

Albatross wrote:

Ediin wrote:

Albatross wrote:

Ediin wrote:

Kid_Kyoto wrote:Sweetie - I have a headache
Me - Do you want aspirin?
Sweetie - No, aspirin only treats the sympton not the cause. There could be many causes, maybe cancer.
Me - So what should I do?
Sweetie - Massage please!

(because apparently massages cure cancer, or something)

I'm surprised she didn't tell you to give her acupuncture.

Yes, racists are often surprised when people don't meet their crude stereotypical expectations.

I'm racist?

If I said something inappropriate, I'm sorry.

Well for starters, I get the impression that Kid_Kyoto's missus is Japanese? Acupuncture is Chinese - but hey, that's vaguely 'oriental', right? Also, even if she IS Chinese, why would you just assume that she would be into acupuncture? Not all Chinese people believe in acupuncture, nor do they practice Kung-Fu etc.

It's just a dodgy assumption to make.

I've often been the target for racism myself and I know how it feels. Once again, I apologize.

Don't apologise to me - I don't give a gak!

Assumptions are the mother of all screw-ups. However, assumptions are an easy way to not engage in a five minute long conversation about the meaning of "Hi" as you want past a person who is a complete stranger but you feel awkward when you make eye contact with them and must find some way to greet them without appearing creepy, hostile, horny, ect. and then you decide on the most commonist lingo possible in America greetings by uttering a one syllable, two letter construction of a word that is a corrupted slang version of the word hallo which originates from Germany and oft was used to hail a ferryman, but came to prominence in America in the mid-19th century and popularized by Thomas Edison as the way he greeted a friend and the connotation stuck to telephone use as which can be clearly demonstrated from the fact that women who operated telephone boards were known as hello-girls.

*Gasp*

See what happens when you DON'T use assumptions?

Gak?

So the moral of the story is: make assumptions, but wisely?

And Albatross, I wasn't apologizing to you. I was saying sorry to the person that might have been offended, in this case Kid_Kyoto's missus.

Ediin wrote:

So the moral of the story is: make assumptions, but wisely?

Make assumptions for simple things that you should make assumptions for (Hi is a greeting, air is breathable).

Make larger assumptions at your own risk.

Don't make assumptions you cannot prove later.

Be ready to rescind certain assumptions that cannot be proven.

WarOne wrote:

Ediin wrote:

So the moral of the story is: make assumptions, but wisely?

Make assumptions for simple things that you should make assumptions for (Hi is a greeting, air is breathable).

Make larger assumptions at your own risk.

Don't make assumptions you cannot prove later.

Be ready to rescind certain assumptions that cannot be proven.

Very well.

Frazzled wrote:

Khornholio wrote:My wife notified me the other day that our neighbours think my hair is too long.

Really? I'd have to walk over and refresh them on the meaning of the term "ugly American," at that point. Unless your hair is too long, hippy boy.

I think they're just jealous because I have some.

Are you mad? How can you be down on Pocari Sweat?

CC Lemon, on the other hand, is dreadful.

Can you please dedicate something to Oronamin-C next?

My recycling bag used to consist of about 2 jars of pasta sauce and 40-50 bottles of Oronamin-C each time I emptied it. Now that I have to pay almost £2 for every bottle of the stuff, I drink it less often, and normally with a bag of original flavour Curls.

Khornholio wrote:

Frazzled wrote:

Khornholio wrote:My wife notified me the other day that our neighbours think my hair is too long.

Really? I'd have to walk over and refresh them on the meaning of the term "ugly American," at that point. Unless your hair is too long, hippy boy.

I think they're just jealous because I have some.

Well...yea...

A kid called me a fat ch!nk once.

It's funny because I'm Filipino.

Sweetie - And how come you Americans put your vitaman C in the bathroom?
Me - Huh? That's where medicine goes. Everyone knows that.
Sweetie - In my country we never put it in the bathroom! We put it in drawers in the living room.
Me - Now that's just crazy talk.
Sweetie - Everyone knows humidity is bad for medicine so we should keep in a dry place.
Me - Now that's... that's... a really good point now that you mention it....

Adventures in Cross-Cultural Marriage is brought to you by Calpis, the only sports drink that has to taste better than it sounds. It just has to.

Adventures in Mono-cultural Engagement

Her - Dear, since I made dinner I think it's only fair that you wash the dishes.

Me - That's quite alright, darling, please go ahead.

Her - Hmm, not really what I meant . . .

Me - Dammit, woman, we're a team now. And if you don't do it, no one will.

Her - Wait what?

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Her - I hate how she does that. It's like . . . did you ever see Mean Girls?

Me - No, but I'm sad Britney Murphy died.

Her - Britney Murphy wasn't in Mean Girls. You say that every time.

Me - That's my stock answer.

Her - Why do you need a stock answer?

Me - Why do you keep asking me if I've seen Mean Girls?

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Me - Be careful, darling, you're all over the road.

Her - What are you talking about? It's fine.

Me - We drive on the right in America, you know.

Her - I don't like to take sides.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

(at the grocery store)

Me - I see we're purchasing Amish Coconut Oil Lotion.

Her - Yes, what about it?

Me - Where are these Amish getting coconuts from?

Her - You ask the strangest questions.

Me - I'm being perfectly serious.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Her- I'm going to my hometown for 4 days. Don't sleep with any of my friends.

Door closes

Me: Wait! Wait! Which ones said they'd nail me?!!

Manchu wrote:Me - I see we're purchasing Amish Coconut Oil Lotion.

Her - Yes, what about it?

Me - Where are these Amish getting coconuts from?

It could be carried.

Orkeosaurus wrote:

Manchu wrote:Me - I see we're purchasing Amish Coconut Oil Lotion.

Her - Yes, what about it?

Me - Where are these Amish getting coconuts from?

It could be carried.

Pennsylvanian swallows?

It could grip it by the husk!

(Well I finally got my Sweetie to watch Return of the Jedi, despite her protests that 'I know the good guys will win' which led to this comment about Admiral Akbar)

Sweetie: I can believe in a man who is a fish from a world where men are fishes, but I can't believe that a fish man wears clothes.

^^ Sweetie does have a good point. Dogon didn't wear clothes when he was on Earth.

Manchu wrote:Me - I see we're purchasing Amish Coconut Oil Lotion.

Her - Yes, what about it?

Me - Where are these Amish getting coconuts from?

That is a perfectly valid question XD

You guys sure you don't mean Jersey Swallows?

Cheese Elemental wrote:

Shadowbrand wrote:We should burn a wickerman.

OH NO, NOT THE BEES!

Only if you watch the lame-ass Nicolas Cage version, that was oh so tuned down from the original:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070917/

The original Wickerman is excellent. You know that part was written with Christopher Lee specifically in mind? As a young pagan I was a bit offended by it, but now that I've grown up I quite enjoy it.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Monster Rain wrote:

WarOne wrote:Here ya go:

Holloween and Chrisitians

http://christianity.about.com/od/holidaytips/i/biblehalloween.htm

That seems pretty reasonable, actually.

It is actually surprisingly good. Such a relief compared to the junk that was routinely put out through the 80s and 90s.

Leigen_Zero wrote:

Cheese Elemental wrote:

Shadowbrand wrote:We should burn a wickerman.

OH NO, NOT THE BEES!

Only if you watch the lame-ass Nicolas Cage version, that was oh so tuned down from the original:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070917/

The remake is a fantastic movie if you watch it as a comedy.

(Wife went to Band competition with the future generation, so it was Frazzled VPNing with the Boys Saturday.)

8.30 AM call to SWMBO getting voicemail
ME: Yea, when you left you HIT MY CAR!

8.45 AM call to SWMBO getting voicemail
ME: You remember that mouse I told you about? Rodney found it again and swallwowed it. I tried to pry it out of his jaws but he bit me.

10.30AM call to SWMBO getting voicemail
ME: Yea, when you told me to take the weiners to get their nails done you didn't tell me they'd freak. Rodney started screaming and I nearly tore the tech's head off. Glad I wasn't armed today. We're home. I'm not going out because more bad things are going to happen.

10.35AM call to SWMBO getting voicemail
ME: I need to get some wood to prop the fence, its leaning over in the wind. WTF?

10.38AM sit down with full cup of delicious coffee. Rodney leaps cross table to land in my lap knocks coffee all over me.

10.38.37AM SWMBO calls
SWMBO: Hey babe how's it going?
ME: &**^%*%*%$^#ING$))%*&^%_^&*_^*!!!
SWMBO: WHAT? Its really loud here? I'm standing ground level in the middle of the Alamodome, you should see this
ME: *(&%^%$*$^%&*%*%ING ($&^(*$^%(%&^!!!!
SWMBO: WHAT? I can't hear you? Yea they haven't called us yet, its so cool.
ME: (Shouting, TBone growling because I just woke him up) ^*%^#$*ingg *($&^#*HITMYCARINTHEFREAKINGDRIVEWAY&*$^$*RODNEYATEMOUSEWHOLE(*)$&(# SCREW THIS TALK TO YOU LATER!!!

3.00PM call to SWMBO getting voicemail
ME: OK went shooting, car not too bad, Rodney still alive, got barbeque and the three of us are pigging out. We're going to watch Predators and pig out on popcorn.

4.00PM halfway through first episode of Tru BLOOD
SWMBO calls:
SWMO: We're in the finals! Its so awesome! How was your day...