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Granted, but then you discover that you are actually immortal.

I wish my TV would break again

Granted, you decide to do something outside and have much more fun.

I wish the Asda across from my street would get closed down.

Granted, it closes and then re-opens right next to your home

I wish I had even more homework to do

Granted, the teacher doesn't mind if you don't do it.

I wish to get stabbed in the dick.

Granted, when you stab yourself you manage to remove a tumor that was growing there.

I wish that I would fall down the stairs.

Granted. Now the stairs do not squeak any more.

I wish to slip on the ice.

Granted, whilst slipping you do some fancy moves and win your state's ice dancing competition.

I wish for a huge hurricane to strike Yorkshire.

Granted, it strikes Yorkshire, and then everyone from miles around comes to help out, resulting in a great friendship being built between all the nearby cities.

I wish to get hit by a jet.

Granted, the pilots apologise and nurse you back to health.

I wish for rampant global warming,

Granted, the resulting temperature increase results in the world being sunny and warm all year around, and everyone gets to enjoy the tropics.

I wish for another ice age to happen

Granted, the continents change so everyone can live near the equator where it is still warm.

I wish it would rain even more in the UK.

Granted, and after the rain stops the UK then has extremely fertile soil.

I wish I would drop my carrying case of models down the stairs.

Granted, you find that your case is undamaged and the contents intact because battlefoam (or your favorite brand of carry case) is amazing.

I wish my Hypothalamus suddenly exploded.

Granted, it was cancerous and you get a replacement.

I wish all my models and modelling supplies would be ejected into the far reaches of the Galaxy.

Granted, your models and modelling supplies are ejected into the far reaches of the galaxy as a publicity event for your favourite models company to celebrate their latest range of products with ‘Out of this World Quality!’ putting aside the atrocious tagline they allow you to have anything you like prom their product line free of charge.

I wish Earth’s atmosphere caused humans to mutate into horrible monsters

Granted, as part of our mutations we learn not to care about appearances and all the aliens we meet consider us attractive.

I wish to get banned.

Granted, when you return to Dakka everyone admires you for what you did and thinks of you as a hero.

I wish to get shot in the leg

Granted, as a result of getting shot your leg has to be amputated, you receive a cool cybernetic leg

I wish to get punched in the face repeatedly

Granted, you punched in the face by a mouse. You hardly feel it.

I wish to fall asleep and never wake up.

Granted, you somehow wake up in heaven and experience eternal bliss

I wish to fall off of the roof of my house

Granted, when falling you discover that you can fly.

I wish my mother would die.

Granted, the autopsy reveals that she was secretly in great pain, and death was a welcome mercy from that pain.

I wish I could be hit in the leg with a hammer

Granted, being hit causes the tumour in you leg to disappear.

I wish for an asteroid to fly past the Earth and send a hail of radioactive cheese down on the latter.

Granted, the cheese is revealed to have great health benefits, and ends up curing every disease known to man

I wish that my house would catch on fire

Granted, the rain puts it out before it does any damage.

I wish to be diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Granted, you are also the person who gets to trial-run the permanent cure for schizophrenia.

I wish to have my wisdom teeth taken out again

Granted, you grow new ones.

I wish for my spleen would get stolen.

Granted, you then discover that you have regeneration powers and it grows back.

I wish that GW would raise it's prices yet again

Granted, they put more models in the box so it evens out.

I wish for aliens to invade.

Granted, they usher in a new era of world peace

I wish for my roof to fall on me