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My folks came over a few weeks back. I was out on the back porch, working on a couple war hounds (Necromunda, i think) that I was painting up to match my girlfriend and my dogs. Dad asked my girlfriend (with me right there) when she was gonna get me to stop playing with toys. She told him that as long as they kept me happy, she wasn't going to do a thing.
She's the best anti-depressant this bipolar bear could ask for
@Lockark, well done - it takes guts to come out, especially to a dad like that.
@Carlson793 your GF is a dream and you are damn lucky, you dog you
OP, as many others have said, you do what you do and tell your Parents to feth it. Its your life, your grown up and its not messing with your life.
If they keep bugging you ask them what they do for a hobby and point out the issues with theirs.
Free from GW's tyranny and the hobby is looking better for it
DR:90-S++G+++M++B++I+Pww205++D++A+++/sWD146R++T(T)D+
OP,
I feel your struggle. I'm currently studying at college, but growing up I received quite a bit of nagging from my parents about my hobbies, which included 40k, DnD, and video games. Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't the "nerdy" type at all, I ran Varsity Cross Country for my high-school and I was a starter on our basketball team, and I achieved very high marks in school, but that doesn't matter. The biggest issue with my parents, which I assume is the same for yours, is that they just simply don't understand. There are a lot of horrible stigmas attacked to the wargaming hobby, that quite frankly, are bs.
For instance, let's compare our hobby to that of somebody who sits and watches TV all day.
Wargaming:
- Sure, we aren't all the fittest people out there, but we are typically standing around a table for a few hours at a time playing games.
- We are challenging our minds to help us think tactically and make smart decisions.
- We are being sociable! We are meeting other people at our FLGS who share our interests and we get to meet all sorts of amazing people!
- We are expressing ourselves through art and creativity with painting and modeling, etc.
- We are opening our minds to think creatively by putting ourselves in these fantasy-esque settings.
- We are enjoying ourselves and having fun!
Now... People that watch TV =
-No physical exercise
-No social interaction
-Nothing to get your brain working and thinking
---
The way I see it, is it is just that our parents aren't educated, not that they genuinely have distaste for our hobbies. Your parents obviously think of the stigmas attached to our hobby and are trying to protect you from becoming that overweight, sweaty, virgin that everyone says we are. So in reality, they probably care about you a lot. But don't get mad at them, just calmly explain to them that it isn't all that bad, and show them the good in our hobby. If you are good at painting minis, why not paint a painting for your mom? Show her how you can use your skills!
I'm getting rid of every piece of wargaming stuff i own, it's my only hobby but i never finish painting everything and i just waste my money so im gonna sell it all then delete every wargaming forum profile i have and forget about it
frozenwastes wrote: It's one of the eight Ivy League universities in the United States? And New York's oldest university? And a phd is a graduate degree?
Oh, I thought he'd gotten the PhD from Columbia, the country. I'm not familiar with the Ivy League Universities
MeanGreenStompa wrote: If you're not balancing it with the rest of life, if your place, when they visit, is a pigsty covered with gaming stuff, dirty dishes, empty takeaway packaging etc, if you're not functioning well otherwise, then they may seek to blame your hobby for it.
If you're a mentally sound, clean, socially well adjusted or capable individual and they are just picking on you because they don't get your hobby ~
There are many good responses I could quote here, but this one really cuts straight to it. As long as you are representing yourself to life successfully (socially healthy, mind and body, and financially capable) and your hobby is not harming any one, then what more could a parent ask for...?
~
It may just be that your parents feel you are missing out on other parts of life they feel are important and want their child to do ~ maybe you do not visit them enough, or don't seem to be showing much interest in the things they mention to you (visiting other family, pushing for a promotion, met a girl/boy yet? etc) and they may feel it's your interest in this hobby that is "stopping" you from doing things they would be doing if they were you.
I certainly wouldn't suggest making your relationship with them worse over this, but make yourself happier with the situation by understanding it, and being okay about it Then you might be able to explain the situation better to your parents, and make them happier about it
frozenwastes wrote: It's one of the eight Ivy League universities in the United States? And New York's oldest university? And a phd is a graduate degree?
9... you forgot Stanford (though, to be fair, Stanford is kind of the "community college" of Ivy League schools)
frozenwastes wrote: It's one of the eight Ivy League universities in the United States? And New York's oldest university? And a phd is a graduate degree?
Oh, I thought he'd gotten the PhD from Columbia, the country. I'm not familiar with the Ivy League Universities
frozenwastes wrote: It's one of the eight Ivy League universities in the United States? And New York's oldest university? And a phd is a graduate degree?
9... you forgot Stanford (though, to be fair, Stanford is kind of the "community college" of Ivy League schools)
frozenwastes wrote: It's one of the eight Ivy League universities in the United States? And New York's oldest university? And a phd is a graduate degree?
Oh, I thought he'd gotten the PhD from Columbia, the country. I'm not familiar with the Ivy League Universities
That'd be Colombia you're thinking of.
I would have thought it would be the first Columbia most of us would think of. Oh well.
Lockark wrote: I recently came out of the closest, and my Father blames it on my Wargameing because I was spending to much time around men.
People get weird ideas. In the end just do what's best for you. As long as you aren't putting yourself in finically trouble with your wargameing or the such, then you are alright.
This made me laugh, not at you or your situation, I think it's terrible that people can't be accepted for who they are, but for someone to blame wargaming for their kids sexuality is kind of drop dead hilarious. It must have been having to paint all those curvy Eldar butts hey?
That eldar armour is like wearing nothing at all!
Nothing at all!
Nothing at all!
Your parents care for you. They want you to be successful. They want you to take an interest in law or engineering or medicine, and decide to follow that interest through college into a career where you wind up fantastically wealthy, and can afford whatever you want to be happy. Most people have a strong basic instinct for their progeny to succeed. Most people have no understanding how to handle it in a mature way when their children fail to meet their pathway or definition of success and happiness.
What is most likely going on is that they look at this particular activity and see something that won't lead to you getting a girlfriend or a steady, high-paying job. They see something that is a distraction - you might as well be taking drugs. They'll so anything they can to try and get you back on track.
This is a nice thing to keep in mind. Often taking the other side into account can help you resolve conflicts more effectively.
Kabal of the Slit Throat ~2000pts
Elect of the Plaguefather 4500pts
Carlson793 wrote: My folks came over a few weeks back. I was out on the back porch, working on a couple war hounds (Necromunda, i think) that I was painting up to match my girlfriend and my dogs. Dad asked my girlfriend (with me right there) when she was gonna get me to stop playing with toys. She told him that as long as they kept me happy, she wasn't going to do a thing.
She's the best anti-depressant this bipolar bear could ask for
A castle crashers player, I presume? (Bipolar bear is featured in that game.)
What my post was driving at was that I did what the original poster contemplated - walked away from the hobby for twenty years in the name of family and responsibility - and honestly, it was the wrong choice. Putting family and work first, sure, but completely abandoning something I enjoy so much didn't do me any favors. Glad to be back, and I wouldn't advise completely stepping away from the hobby to anyone, provided they are still enjoying it.
The Ph.D. stuff was secondary to my point that all work and no play makes Jack a depressive man, and I'm happy to drop it now. No obnoxious posturing intended.
Dakkadakka: Bringing wargamers together, one smile at a time.â„¢
Basically he was on a career path to be a college professor at a very prestigious level... but now he's fully familiar with the savage level of infighting inherent in academia that puts the corporate world to shame.
We refuse to take sides in this anymore. And we refuse to let you turn us against one another. We know who we are now, we can find our own way between order and chaos...
It's over because we've decided it's over. Now get the hell out of our galaxy! Both of you.
"Whoever takes purple sash is purple, and follows purple leader." I follow purple tau. Theophony
Lockark wrote: I recently came out of the closest, and my Father blames it on my Wargameing because I was spending to much time around men.
People get weird ideas. In the end just do what's best for you. As long as you aren't putting yourself in finically trouble with your wargameing or the such, then you are alright.
In your father's defense, below is a pic of your gaming group.
If you can freely afford it, is not running into debt or such and can meet your bills etc then what's left no one can tell you how to spend.,
Also its your life too, sometimes you have to stand by your choice and defend it but in the end its your choice and hey your not spending all cash on beer and meth lol :-)
Automatically Appended Next Post: It has advantages too, attention to detail, ultra fine hand eye coordination and its using your brain more thansitting vegging in front of TV, creating not just sat there watching whatever.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/06/10 20:19:02
Sgt. Vanden - OOC Hey, that was your doing. I didn't choose to fly in the "Dongerprise'.
"May the odds be ever in your favour"
Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
I have no clue how Dakka's moderation work. I expect it involves throwing a lot of d100 and looking at many random tables.
FudgeDumper - It could be that you are just so uncomfortable with the idea of your chapters primarch having his way with a docile tyranid spore cyst, that you must deny they have any feelings at all.
Lockark wrote: I recently came out of the closest, and my Father blames it on my Wargameing because I was spending to much time around men.
People get weird ideas. In the end just do what's best for you. As long as you aren't putting yourself in finically trouble with your wargameing or the such, then you are alright.
In your father's defense, below is a pic of your gaming group.
We refuse to take sides in this anymore. And we refuse to let you turn us against one another. We know who we are now, we can find our own way between order and chaos...
It's over because we've decided it's over. Now get the hell out of our galaxy! Both of you.
"Whoever takes purple sash is purple, and follows purple leader." I follow purple tau. Theophony
Honestly, sometimes you are a dinosaur, they are orange in order to denote how much vitamin C they have running through their veins.
OOmpahs started working out since chocolate blocks got above 80 grams.
I will say though, what is it with everyone pouting in every picture I see.
Manchu - "But so what? The Bible also says the flood destroyed the world. You only need an allegorical boat to tackle an allegorical flood."
Shespits "Anything i see with YOLO has half naked eleventeen year olds Girls. And of course booze and drugs and more half naked elventeen yearolds Girls. O how i wish to YOLO again!"
Rubiksnoob "Next you'll say driving a stick with a Scandinavian supermodel on your lap while ripping a bong impairs your driving. And you know what, I'M NOT GOING TO STOP, YOU FILTHY COMMUNIST"
calamarialldayerrday wrote:They may all have good bodies, but the only one whose face I don't want to punch is the dude on the right. I could hang out with him.
This... So much, this.... ESPECIALLY "superman tattoo dude" I seriously want to beat the feth out of him, and I don't know why. Which isn't entirely true, because it's because he's orange, and looks like a complete and utter d-bag.
Bullockist wrote:
I will say though, what is it with everyone pouting in every picture I see.
Gay dudes don't "duckface"... they want to, but they cant, or something, so theyre stuck pouting