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Having to clean restrooms will make you despise humanity.

 cuda1179 wrote:
hm... Makes me wonder where all these White Knights that protest Polish jokes are when certain "groups" of people are the butt of jokes. I guess stereotypes are only unfunny some of the time. I guess George Orwell was right, some are more equal than others. Hypocrisy at its finest.

Outside of Flames of War or the painting side I've not seen Poles brought up. So lets drop it and continue shall we.
(And a shout out to my Free Poles brigades, stomping the Hitlerites with armored goodness since June '44!)


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 jmurph wrote:
Having to clean restrooms will make you despise humanity.

Yes. Women's are...an alternate world of villainy and scum that would make Nurgle puke.

 NorseSig wrote:
HOW DID HE GET IT ON THE CEILING? WTF.

When I was in college I worked a Conservation Authority Park where we had camping and a beach.
My duties among other things was to clean washrooms.
I was always impressed with the various artwork people would leave behind.

One interesting fellow meticulously wetted paper towel balls and smashed them all over the place.
I think he used two entire rolls... it was impressive.
Had to re-wet them down... paper mache sticks like crazy to a cinder block wall.

One other enterprising fellow took his poop and made nice little swirls all over.

One lady decided she had pads to spare to stick all over the stall (must have used up a big box of them)... quite pretty.

We also had some feminine hygiene containers in the stalls and I think someone used it as an ashtray: the container was melted to a puddle and the paint was burnt off the metal stall wall.

To this day I still wonder what happened where I found a full set of women's clothing just off a trail.
It was like the person decided to run naked in the woods... they were so nicely folded and placed.

All these stories I am getting flashbacks of the oddities faced in my old jobs.

I had some "interesting" customers this weekend.

Sunday is a cash-cow in the restaurant business. We do more sales on a Sunday morning than two entire weekdays. About an hour before we get hit by our usual breakfast rush (9:30 or so) we get a call-in order. The guy wants 100 pieces of broasted chicken, and he wants it at 11:30. For those that have never experienced cooking broasted chicken, its a fryer that is sealed an pressurized. It takes a LONG time to cook, and you can only do 25 pieces at a time. This is roughly a 90-minute job. Sure, you can do things while it cooks, but it's still labor intensive under ideal circumstances, let alone when we need all hands on deck for a crapstorm about to hit.

Just before 11 this guy shows up demanding his chicken. When we tell him it won't be ready for a half an hour, like he requsted, he got upset. When he got the bill he flipped out. Apparently he thought this would only cost about $75. After making a handful of scenes while waiting for his food he finally leaves..... or so we thought. He comes back in. Apparently when he went to put one of the boxes on his car seat he dropped it, spilled a few pieces, and thinks we owe him replacement chicken.


Also, my personal pet peeve, people that invent their own parking. My business has ample parking. However, things can get a bit congested on busy Sundays. An 18-wheeler pulls into the lot, takes up 12 spaces (including the handicapped stall), and also blocks access to 12 other spots. This means customers that want to park can't, and those that want to leave are stuck. To top it off, he walks across the street to eat at our competitor. It took cops to get this guy to move his rig onto the street (yes, there is easily accessible street parking for 18-wheelers). After we get that ignorant trucker out of the way someone in a Mini Cooper decides our lawn is the perfect spot to park so they don't have to walk an extra 40 feet to the front door.

 cuda1179 wrote:
Apparently when he went to put one of the boxes on his car seat he dropped it, spilled a few pieces, and thinks we owe him replacement chicken.

Our local ice cream stand (housed in a caboose) has a label on the door going out: "Not responsible for dropped ice cream past this point.".
You might need that label.

Ha! that kind of guy.
They figure it never hurts that if they complain loud enough they can get some sap to cover their mistake.
I got a few people at work who have a knack of trying to make their problem yours.

Just before 11 this guy shows up demanding his chicken. When we tell him it won't be ready for a half an hour, like he requsted, he got upset. When he got the bill he flipped out. Apparently he thought this would only cost about $75. After making a handful of scenes while waiting for his food he finally leaves..... or so we thought. He comes back in. Apparently when he went to put one of the boxes on his car seat he dropped it, spilled a few pieces, and thinks we owe him replacement chicken.

So what happened?

 cuda1179 wrote:
Also, my personal pet peeve, people that invent their own parking. My business has ample parking. However, things can get a bit congested on busy Sundays. An 18-wheeler pulls into the lot, takes up 12 spaces (including the handicapped stall), and also blocks access to 12 other spots. This means customers that want to park can't, and those that want to leave are stuck.

If some fether did that to me, yeah, the cops are coming.

The problem is the cops wouldn't show until after they left (if they ever show). A parking poorly call is not the most pressing priority.

We have vehicles who wil park in our church for the scenic view. Once we had an RV parked taking up about 8 spots with the owner no where to be found and a major event. The police didn't show until after the event and didn't do anything.

If I'm blocked in and prevented from leaving, it's goin' down...

 Frazzled wrote:
The problem is the cops wouldn't show until after they left (if they ever show). A parking poorly call is not the most pressing priority.

We have vehicles who wil park in our church for the scenic view. Once we had an RV parked taking up about 8 spots with the owner no where to be found and a major event. The police didn't show until after the event and didn't do anything.

Sounds like your church needs to study up a bit on posted parking restrictions and nonconsent towing

Just make sure the signs follow the statutes!

 Frazzled wrote:

Just before 11 this guy shows up demanding his chicken. When we tell him it won't be ready for a half an hour, like he requsted, he got upset. When he got the bill he flipped out. Apparently he thought this would only cost about $75. After making a handful of scenes while waiting for his food he finally leaves..... or so we thought. He comes back in. Apparently when he went to put one of the boxes on his car seat he dropped it, spilled a few pieces, and thinks we owe him replacement chicken.

So what happened?

Oh, yeah, sorry I didn't finish that. He demanded chicken....NOW. The problem is that to get what he wanted would take a minimum of 18 minutes, so instead I just gave him $5 and sent him on his way. It wasn't worth the distraction to our Sunday regulars.

 jmurph wrote:

 Frazzled wrote:
The problem is the cops wouldn't show until after they left (if they ever show). A parking poorly call is not the most pressing priority.

We have vehicles who wil park in our church for the scenic view. Once we had an RV parked taking up about 8 spots with the owner no where to be found and a major event. The police didn't show until after the event and didn't do anything.

Sounds like your church needs to study up a bit on posted parking restrictions and nonconsent towing

Just make sure the signs follow the statutes!

hard to tow an RV, plus that whole we're a church thing and be nice to your neighbor thing...

(clearly I don't run this church or we'd have to install a quad mount M2 in the steeple for...reasons.

 Frazzled wrote:
The problem is the cops wouldn't show until after they left (if they ever show). A parking poorly call is not the most pressing priority.

We have vehicles who wil park in our church for the scenic view. Once we had an RV parked taking up about 8 spots with the owner no where to be found and a major event. The police didn't show until after the event and didn't do anything.

We lucked out on this one. Small town where everyone knows everyone. In addition 100 feet to our south is the city vehicle refueling station. 75 feet to our North is the local gun store and cop hang-out. In addition, the local firemen and an off-duty cop (blocked in) were eating with us.

Actually, for some reason 18-wheelers doing this is a rather large problem for us. It happens about every 3 weeks. The best thing I ever did was get the company info off the truck and notify their management. Since that time I've had no problems with that particular company.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Frazzled wrote:
[

hard to tow an RV, plus that whole we're a church thing and be nice to your neighbor thing...

(clearly I don't run this church or we'd have to install a quad mount M2 in the steeple for...reasons.

It's not as hard as you think. I've been tempted to have these 18-wheelers towed. I'm not that vindictive though. My parents' friend and neighbor has a towing rig designed to tow 18-wheelers. His shop is a block away from my store, so if I ever cross that line it would be easy.

 Frazzled wrote:

Spoiler:

 jmurph wrote:

 Frazzled wrote:
The problem is the cops wouldn't show until after they left (if they ever show). A parking poorly call is not the most pressing priority.

We have vehicles who wil park in our church for the scenic view. Once we had an RV parked taking up about 8 spots with the owner no where to be found and a major event. The police didn't show until after the event and didn't do anything.

Sounds like your church needs to study up a bit on posted parking restrictions and nonconsent towing

Just make sure the signs follow the statutes!

hard to tow an RV, plus that whole we're a church thing and be nice to your neighbor thing...

(clearly I don't run this church or we'd have to install a quad mount M2 in the steeple for...reasons.

AA mounts are almost essential to take down end times demons of the winged variety. Probably need some flamethrowers, too. It's the only way to be sure.
Also works for zombies.

 cuda1179 wrote:

 Frazzled wrote:
hard to tow an RV,

It's not as hard as you think.

I've been tempted to have these 18-wheelers towed. I'm not that vindictive though. My parents' friend and neighbor has a towing rig designed to tow 18-wheelers. His shop is a block away from my store, so if I ever cross that line it would be easy.

Agreed, not hard at all. I'm in SoCal, and semis break down all the time. Unhooking and towing is not a big deal if you have a Class C tow truck available.

Now your friend I assume has shop rates and storage fees? Have him post them, and post "no trucks" in your lot. They might not believe you'll tow, but once it happens, you bet it'll never happen again.

..........
So, just working, nothing special going on infront of me.
Until I see a grown man with his hand down his swimshorts...................Stroking something. This is infront of a bunch of people in broad daylight.

So, a ride this year, one of our newer ones too that everyone loves has been closed. Why? Well we are short on lifeguards and that ride has the least amount of riders versus time. So its closed.
So a guy comes up and orders a beer. Says he heard that it is because we are short staffed. I said my normal answer "I Dont Know" and rang up his order. He than proceeds to say "Why dont they take those Lazy Mexicans on the lazy river and put them there. They aint doing nothing but staring" both my female co-workers are hispanic BTW. But I came with knowledge. He said a racial epithat and I called security and got him booted from the park, along with his entire 18+ family..............this was 30min into the operating day too.....

 JohnHwangDD wrote:

 cuda1179 wrote:

 Frazzled wrote:
hard to tow an RV,

It's not as hard as you think.

I've been tempted to have these 18-wheelers towed. I'm not that vindictive though. My parents' friend and neighbor has a towing rig designed to tow 18-wheelers. His shop is a block away from my store, so if I ever cross that line it would be easy.

Agreed, not hard at all. I'm in SoCal, and semis break down all the time. Unhooking and towing is not a big deal if you have a Class C tow truck available.

Now your friend I assume has shop rates and storage fees? Have him post them, and post "no trucks" in your lot. They might not believe you'll tow, but once it happens, you bet it'll never happen again.

Trucks break down, need a truck that can move them. Seen it done in the UK.

Heard a few funny stories tonight from an ex army friend. Rank: John. Name: Doe.

Once there were a pair of notorious officers with a reputation for pranking each other but getting the lower ranks (my friend) to do the dirty work. One of them slipped some Viagra to my friend and suggested he go to the kitchens and have the cook lace the other officer's soup. But my friend was sick of being the Patsy... So he laced both officer's soups. Both officer's kept quiet about it.

 Shadow Captain Edithae wrote:
Heard a few funny stories tonight from an ex army friend. Rank: John. Name: Doe.

Once there were a pair of notorious officers with a reputation for pranking each other but getting the lower ranks (my friend) to do the dirty work. One of them slipped some Viagra to my friend and suggested he go to the kitchens and have the cook lace the other officer's soup. But my friend was sick of being the Patsy... So he laced both officer's soups. Both officer's kept quiet about it.

Um....That's felony assault with a chemical substance. That can lead to jail time. The cops around here aren't any better really. For YEARS they got off on photoshopping each other onto porn, internet memes, or other tomfoolery. Racist, sexist, and homophobic emails were sent on city email accounts (This went both ways, men, women, Latinos, Whites, they all got in on it). Then one day bad blood got in the way. One officer got questionably fired. During the ensuing legal drama all these emails came out and the chief of police stepped down as well. All's fun and games until your "friendly coworker" gets canned for misinterpreting a verbal agreement.

My army friend said anytime you see a meme or video of someone in the military goofing off, its 9/10 an officer.

Today I learned what "broasting" is, a term new to me.

So does it taste like fried chicken or what? Chik Fil A seems like they have a similar process, right?

I worked graveyard at a New Orleans hotel on canal street, almost directly across from the Iberville projects. One morning about 2am, I was eating lunch in the luggage room just off the lobby and I heard my name being shouted.
I ran out into the empty lobby to see a security guard in a struggle with another man. One of the desk clerks yelled the man had a gun, just as he slipped away from the guard. Expecting to see someone shot, I jumped in behind the guy, clipped him at the back of his knees, bringing him down, and threw him into a joint lock before he had a good chance to point the gun in my direction.
When the pain of the joint lock hit him a second after I applied it, he started screaming, sliding his gun off in one direction and scattering cash he robbed from the till in another.
About that time the security guard ran up and began smashing his head into the floor, yelling at him to shut up. The other desk clerk told him to cool it with the violence and I ended up holding the guy down until the police arrived a couple of minutes later. I the meantime, the younger clerk was freaking out, so I started making pro wrestling faces at him, causing him to crack up as I held the robber down in the submission hold.
The first officer there told him it was a hot night and he might as well stay on the floor where it was cooler, followed by putting his foot on the guy's head as he filled out the report.
He couldn't walk very well because of his leg pain, so he had to be carried out.
The trial that followed and the knife fight I got in a couple weeks later out front of the hotel were events in themselves.

@Relapse: So in a prior life you did what?

How does the world decide your life needs to be that exciting?

That security guard bashing the guy's head in... may need a different career, his response especially after the fact does not indicate a cool head.

The officer... seems to indicate he has seen a fair bit. At least he did not have his foot on the guy's throat I guess.

The trial I could see being "fun" I am sure claims of you "breaking his arm" may have been thrown around.

Best I ever did was disarm a guy with a knife at a party. It came out and I panicked and put him into an arm-bar before I had time to think about it. Must have had some adrenaline since his wrist and elbow got overextended and needed treatment (there is no tap-out for a guy with a gun or knife).

I'm sure that most people on these boards have experiences that mirror or go beyond anything that's happened to me.
The security guard was really a pretty good sort who was just a tad pissed a gun was pulled on him.
The arraignment was very interesting. The four of us that were in the lobby at the time went in to testify. As we sat in the courtroom, a group of prisoners were herded in, chained together, and sat along a bench where they were secured.
The other three guys that were with me were Black and started getting pissed at the robber because he kept looking over at them and, according to them, giving them signs indicating that he was a brother and they shouldn't be testifying against them.
The younger clerk said hell, yeah, he was gonna testify. The bleepin bleeper stuck a gun in his face.
Before the actual case, the prosecuting attorney told us to look to him for cues on whether we should answer questions or wait for his objection.
I was the first of the group to get sworn in, and the defense attorney started by asking my name and where I worked, was I there the night of the robbery,etc. All pretty standard questions that didn't seem to raise any eyebrows.
He then asked if the lobby had a security camera system. I looked over at the prosecutor, to see he was writing something on a pad, but giving no cues. I answered yes.
The next question I was asked was if the system was functioning on the night of the robbery. I looked to the prosecutor, only to see that he hadn't yet looked up from his pad. I again answered yes.
I was then asked where the security office was, and had the same experience with the prosecutor as the first two questions.
I explained where the office was from the lobby.
The defense attorney then asked if the system was functioning on the night of the robbery.
At that time, the Judge lost his patience and cut off the examination, and laid into the defense by asking what the questions had to do with the price of rice in China, then started chewing the prosecutors ask for not objecting.
The defender explained that he wanted to illustrate that his client was smart enough to go into the hotel on the night in question. This explanation really confused me and my buds.
The judge then said the defendant obviously wasn't too damn smart, since he stuck the place up and got caught.
This pretty much ended the events of the day, and any further manouvers in the courtroom on the part of the defense except for a plea bargain.

 Ouze wrote:
Today I learned what "broasting" is, a term new to me.

So does it taste like fried chicken or what? Chik Fil A seems like they have a similar process, right?

It's somewhat like deep-fat fried chicken, but since it is cooked under pressure lower temperatures are used. This leads to a very crisp breaded outside, but a very soft and juicy interior.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Relapse wrote:
I'm sure that most people on these boards have experiences that mirror or go beyond anything that's happened to me.
The security guard was really a pretty good sort who was just a tad pissed a gun was pulled on him.
The arraignment was very interesting. The four of us that were in the lobby at the time went in to testify. As we sat in the courtroom, a group of prisoners were herded in, chained together, and sat along a bench where they were secured.
The other three guys that were with me were Black and started getting pissed at the robber because he kept looking over at them and, according to them, giving them signs indicating that he was a brother and they shouldn't be testifying against them.
The younger clerk said hell, yeah, he was gonna testify. The bleepin bleeper stuck a gun in his face.
Before the actual case, the prosecuting attorney told us to look to him for cues on whether we should answer questions or wait for his objection.
I was the first of the group to get sworn in, and the defense attorney started by asking my name and where I worked, was I there the night of the robbery,etc. All pretty standard questions that didn't seem to raise any eyebrows.
He then asked if the lobby had a security camera system. I looked over at the prosecutor, to see he was writing something on a pad, but giving no cues. I answered yes.
The next question I was asked was if the system was functioning on the night of the robbery. I looked to the prosecutor, only to see that he hadn't yet looked up from his pad. I again answered yes.
I was then asked where the security office was, and had the same experience with the prosecutor as the first two questions.
I explained where the office was from the lobby.
The defense attorney then asked if the system was functioning on the night of the robbery.
At that time, the Judge lost his patience and cut off the examination, and laid into the defense by asking what the questions had to do with the price of rice in China, then started chewing the prosecutors ask for not objecting.
The defender explained that he wanted to illustrate that his client was smart enough to go into the hotel on the night in question. This explanation really confused me and my buds.
The judge then said the defendant obviously wasn't too damn smart, since he stuck the place up and got caught.
This pretty much ended the events of the day, and any further manouvers in the courtroom on the part of the defense except for a plea bargain.

The best legal shenanigans that happened in my town were about a case of libel. A young girl was suing a boy for spreading a rumor that she was a slut, and it had tarnished her reputation. As a defense the boy had a string of a dozen other boys testify to intimate relations with this woman, including more than a few group activities. It was backed up by witnesses that she bragged to about it. The judge basically stated, "Well, the boy wasn't lying. Sometimes the truth hurts and you can't sue for that."

I had another head slapper tonight. I don't want to sound misogynistic, but in my experience teenage girls are the HARDEST employees to deal with.

I'm pretty laid-back when it comes to time off. As long as what you are asking off isn't totally absurd, during a busy time (Easter Sunday for example), or without notice I am usually cool with it. People with good reasons get preference if there is a conflict.

Our Work Schedule is posted at 6AM on Saturday for the following Monday thru Sunday. If you want time off you need to put in notice no later than Wednesday (I accept Thursday morning too) in order for me to find time to make out the work schedule. As I am closing up shop Friday night I walk back to my office to find a note from a waitress I just got done working with.

That note is requesting 37 out of the next 56 days off, this includes every Friday and Sunday. In addition she can't work until 6pm the remaining 19 days (we close at 9).

I'm honestly stunned. What's the point of even having a job if you don't want to work it? As a side note, this is the same employee that constantly complains she isn't getting enough hours at work.

 cuda1179 wrote:
I had another head slapper tonight. I don't want to sound misogynistic, but in my experience teenage girls are the HARDEST employees to deal with.

I'm pretty laid-back when it comes to time off. As long as what you are asking off isn't totally absurd, during a busy time (Easter Sunday for example), or without notice I am usually cool with it. People with good reasons get preference if there is a conflict.

Our Work Schedule is posted at 6AM on Saturday for the following Monday thru Sunday. If you want time off you need to put in notice no later than Wednesday (I accept Thursday morning too) in order for me to find time to make out the work schedule. As I am closing up shop Friday night I walk back to my office to find a note from a waitress I just got done working with.

That note is requesting 37 out of the next 56 days off, this includes every Friday and Sunday. In addition she can't work until 6pm the remaining 19 days (we close at 9).

I'm honestly stunned. What's the point of even having a job if you don't want to work it? As a side note, this is the same employee that constantly complains she isn't getting enough hours at work.

Is this a horror story or normal business when employing students? 37 days seems excessive but maybe she has preparatory exams? Or her mum is in hospital and she needs to take care of younger siblings? Did you talk to her?

 treslibras wrote:

 cuda1179 wrote:
I had another head slapper tonight. I don't want to sound misogynistic, but in my experience teenage girls are the HARDEST employees to deal with.

I'm pretty laid-back when it comes to time off. As long as what you are asking off isn't totally absurd, during a busy time (Easter Sunday for example), or without notice I am usually cool with it. People with good reasons get preference if there is a conflict.

Our Work Schedule is posted at 6AM on Saturday for the following Monday thru Sunday. If you want time off you need to put in notice no later than Wednesday (I accept Thursday morning too) in order for me to find time to make out the work schedule. As I am closing up shop Friday night I walk back to my office to find a note from a waitress I just got done working with.

That note is requesting 37 out of the next 56 days off, this includes every Friday and Sunday. In addition she can't work until 6pm the remaining 19 days (we close at 9).

I'm honestly stunned. What's the point of even having a job if you don't want to work it? As a side note, this is the same employee that constantly complains she isn't getting enough hours at work.

Is this a horror story or normal business when employing students? 37 days seems excessive but maybe she has preparatory exams? Or her mum is in hospital and she needs to take care of younger siblings? Did you talk to her?

She wants to try out for the Cross Country Team....... let's just say it's like a dwarf wanting to play basketball. Except for Friday's and Sundays Those are just times she wants for "me time".

WTF, I ssem to catch all the weird Sickos. I work night shift 2 nights a week which entails starting breakfast on the morning and refilling the "trays" if things run low until the breakfast person gets there. Last Wed morning I was making a batch of eggs to refill the tray of them running low, when I hear a scream. This sick a-hole had burned himself by sticking his PENIS INTO THE HOT GRAVY. He was mad because he did not see the sign saying contents hot and that he would sue me for not being there to warn him. I called the police on him. He was arrested. Today I got a court summons because this person has in fact filed a lawsuit on me. I contacted my boss and the arresting officer and both said not to worry that they would be there to vouch for me and get this nonsense stopped.

"NorseSig, is this the penis you saw on the 28th of August?"

"Yes your Honour, thats the penis. He stuck it right in the gravy he did".