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This thread will probably prove more accurate than the 'original'.

The Kroot will be forced to give/accept challenges

The Tau will have units that act just like psykers, but they won't be. Uh uh. They'll just be using machines that utilize impossible science to do technological things so advanced they just seem like magic, to do things like reduce an enemy unit's toughness by 1 or give skyfire to a friendly unit or to make an enemy character have to pass a leadership test on 3d6 during their next shooting phase to avoid shooting their own side.

The Tau flier shall not be the barracuda. It will be something that looks nothing like the FW Tau fliers, but a mutant helicopter called the Storm Eel. It will have the missile lock USR but no blast weapons, and can transport battlesuits as well as fire warriors.

The Tau uber suit special character will unlock uber suits as troops. The uber suit army list will be so overpowered that people will complain about it for months.

68. The Demureg were going to make an appearance in this codex, but were too busy assaulting the Space Orks at Space Moria.

69. Kroot can be taken as allies by the IG, but will eat a random model from a unit within 12" on a roll of 5+ each movement phase.

70. There will be a close combat Battle Suit, but it requires 6 regular battle suits to combine Vol-tron style.

 Kid_Kyoto wrote:


9-There will be a new Hammer Head variant tank with a hull-mounted mega-ion cannon powered by two energy spheres hanging below its bulbous head. It will be called the Great White. Great Whites can be upgraded to Greater Blacks, which have twice the power. Great Whites may only be sold to players 18 and older.

You made the same joke with the DA, A landraider Variant called "The Johnson" which fired massive white plasma.

71. The Codex will be balanced.

72. All Shas'ui are now named Fred and all Shas'la are now named Boris.

73. All Shas'O are named High Overlord McTusk and can take a pet dog named Mr Facebiter.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:

 Kid_Kyoto wrote:


9-There will be a new Hammer Head variant tank with a hull-mounted mega-ion cannon powered by two energy spheres hanging below its bulbous head. It will be called the Great White. Great Whites can be upgraded to Greater Blacks, which have twice the power. Great Whites may only be sold to players 18 and older.

You made the same joke with the DA, A landraider Variant called "The Johnson" which fired massive white plasma.

There are no new jokes, only new audiences.

 Doctor Khorne wrote:
Would a kroot poodle be a... kroodle?

No, a poot.

The latest round of rumors come to me from a time-traveling spirit that speaks in my dreams so I think we can all agree they are 100% reliable.

74 - In a shocking move the Sisters of Battle will join the greater good, cause I mean it's not like they'll ever get their own codex anyway.

75 - Tau fliers will be equipped with Goodstrike Missiles. They can be upgraded to Greater Goodstrike Missiles for 5 points.

76 - Tau squads can now get the upgrade 'Delicious Spicy Dragon Roll'. Units with 'Delicious Spicy Dragon Roll' can take Tyranids as allies provided they throw them some Dragon Rolls every turn. If the squad with the Dragon Rolls is wiped out the Tyranids instead eat 1d6 Tau. Tau apparently taste like salmon and mayonase.

77 - Codex Tau is the first codex with no rules, no army list and no point values. Instead it consists of 150 pages describing how the Tau were eaten by Tyranids, with full color illustrations. Despite this Tau kits will continue to sell well as basing material for Nid armies.

78 - Tau may take Greater Demons as an HQ pick, we've got new plastic kits coming and we gotta move them somehow.

79 - US and UK Tau models will ship with a special GPS chip. If they are transported to Australia they burst into flame.

80 - The Vespids were supposed to get several new units in this book including a heavy support choice with AP3 blast templates, a dragon fly like flier flown by Vespids and a named HQ choice. But then GW realized no one gives a #$%^ about Vespids.

81 - Tau ally matrix is shifted to allow everyone as battle brothers including nids (they obviously brainwashed one of the splinter fleets)

82 - Tau can only be used as a detatchment since they are the smallest race

83 - A bastion for tau will be released and be called "The Citadel" It will contain ancient reaper technology and spawn D6 necrons each turn

84 - New Tau Fast attack/transport - "The Normandy" It'll come with a very large gun in the front and a lot of shields.

85 - All rail guns now are treated as beam weapons with ignore cover and has ranges of 180'. Come on now, could a brick wall really stop a rail slug?

 hotsauceman1 wrote:

 Kid_Kyoto wrote:


9-There will be a new Hammer Head variant tank with a hull-mounted mega-ion cannon powered by two energy spheres hanging below its bulbous head. It will be called the Great White. Great Whites can be upgraded to Greater Blacks, which have twice the power. Great Whites may only be sold to players 18 and older.

You made the same joke with the DA, A landraider Variant called "The Johnson" which fired massive white plasma.

Well, if 40k is attracting in younger audiences, might as well make some crude, immature (but still laughable) humor

OK....so i am currently on the run from the cops as I broke into GW and stole some of the random pages. I HOPEFULLY got them all back in order so here is what I found out:

NEW TAU WARLORD TRAITS:
1 - All Tau units gain Hit and Run
2 - Deal D6D6 Str 10 AP1 Hits to d6 units every turn. The units are determined randomly.
3 - All Tau Replace their Plasma rifles with Deamon Weapons
4 - Roll a d6 every turn, including opponent's turn, on a 6, the tau leave the field, claiming all victory points available
5 - All Tau gain BS 6
6 - All terrain on the field is not treated as ruins. Tau battlesuits all become 14/14/14 vehicles.

I am wondering if I may have gotten some of the Chaos Daemon stuff mixed in....but I would never make that kind of mistake.

 Insurgency Walker wrote:

 Doctor Khorne wrote:
Would a kroot poodle be a... kroodle?

No, a poot.

I laughed way too hard at that. Like I couldn't even scroll down to take my eyes off the hilarity.

I would go into detail about Aun'va the Space Pope being retired from the game, but apparently that's old news now.
HOWEVER, I have it on good authority that the new Space Pope will deploy with a special type of "white" smoke grenades in effect.

New unit: the Krootshark!

As the name suggests, when Kroot absorb the DNA of a shark the Krootshark is the result. These massive aquatic creatures provide some much-needed close combat punch in Tau armies, their leathery skin and powerful jaws giving them immense resilience and combat prowess.

School of Krootsharks: 5 models, 50 points. Up to 5 additional models may be added for 10 points each.

WS5 BS0 S4 T4 W3 T5 I4 A4 Sv4+

Special rules
Fear
Fearless
Furious Charge
Crushing Jaws - Crushing Jaws count as a Power Axe that strikes in Initiative order.
Deep dive - the Krootshark can make use of its speed to dive and swoop away from enemy attacks. They have a 5+ invulnerable save.
From the deep: If the unit starts in reserve they must be deployed by Deep Strike. They may assault on the turn they arrive.
Aquatic: Krootsharks may ONLY be deployed and move in water terrain. They may not under any circumstances move on to dry land and may only charge units that enter water. If a deep strike roll scatters them on to land, the unit must spend its next movement phase flappimg back to the water and is considered to have WS0. Any models that are out of water after this phase are removed and treated as casualties.



Well, there has to be some way to keep them balanced...

The Tau Codex will come with a new 'Converts to the Greater Good' chart. Roll a d6 each turn on this chart, and deploy the unit as if it came on from reserve:

1. Kroot Carnivore squad with Krootox and Kroot Hounds (must arrive using Ambush rules)
2. Vespid Stingwing squad (can Deepstrike as Jump Infantry)
3. Demiurg (can deepstrike as Trygon)
4. Hrud Scavveners
5. Human Auxiliaries (must deploy from Valkyrie)
6. Zoats!

All Convert squads will be available in Finecast, and cannot otherwise be taken as a choice on the Forge Org.

A new Tau psychic, Elder Tsa-G'strok, will be available in Finecast. Available for a limited time is a deck of Psychic power cards with which you can select his awesome psychic powers. Since Tau have no connection to the warp, he will be unable to use any of these powers. This will be confirmed in the FAQ.

A new unit of Tau Interdiction Drones will be available in Finecast. When deployed or moved into contact with a board edge, this unit will prevent enemy fliers from entering on that board edge either from Reserves or Ongoing Reserves. No Tau unit will have Flakk missiles.

Codex fluff will detail how the Tau diplomats, famed for their openness to other cultures, met with a delegation of Adepta Sororitas from the Orders Dialogus to discuss a treaty of non-aggression. In an attempt to prevent the xenophobia and religious intolerance of the Battle Sisters from disrupting the accords, the Tau slaughter the Sisters to a woman and drink their blood.

Also in the Codex, it is revealed that the Tau, locked in a war of attrition with the inexhaustible forces of the Imperium during their Third Sphere expansion, ally with the unnumbered hordes of the Tyranids because both the Tau and the Tyranids are so tired of fighting 'blob squads' of Guardsmen. This alters the ally matrix to allow Tau armies to field an allied contingent of Tyranids. Tyranid armies cannot field an allied contingent of Tau because 'F-you", Tyranid players.

Tau have a new Warlord table with the following traits.

1. Master of Magnetism: After deployment, the Tau player may change the weapons load-out of any Tau vehicle or battlesuit in play, provided he has magnetized the weapons mounts. This includes changing the unit into another unit if such is possible with magnets.
2. Commander of Deception. The Tau player may 'repurpose' any soda bottle placed on the table, using 'counts as' to field it as a Hammerhead from that point on.
3. Ain't No One Got Money For That!: The Tau Player may deploy an extra large pizza box as a Tau Manta. If the Tau player only has a small, medium, or large pizza box, he is restricted to deploying it as an Orca Dropship.
4. Kroot Shaper: Provided the model has a beak awkwardly glued to its face, the Tau player may deploy any monstrous creature from any codex. Just explain that the Kroot ate one of them last time.
5. Water Caste Diplomats: If the opponent wishes to go to the bathroom, he must relinquish 1d3 Objectives to the Tau player.
6. Lawyer of the Rules: The warlord can force the enemy player to purchase the iPad edition of his Codex (and an iPad, if necessary), 'just to check and see if the rules have changed."

Kroot ate Draigo. Nuff aid

Kroot will be exactly the same as they are now, only their cost will be reduced to an amount which will make them useful. One point each.

 Evileyes wrote:
Kroot will be exactly the same as they are now, only their cost will be reduced to an amount which will make them useful. One point each.

Also, every army must have atleast 300 points of standard Kroot models to be legal.

On release day GW will have a special "buy one unit and get the second for free!!" sale

Tau gets discontinued, GW burns all reaming stock and apologize for realizing such foul things.

 Kid_Kyoto wrote:

So here are my made up Tau rumors...

1-In keeping with the proud tradition of the Storm Talon and Chibi Hawk well-known and beloved Tau models from Forge World will NOT be remade in plastic nor included in the codex. Instead the codex will include some ill-concieved poorly shoe-horned new models that were churned out over the weekend by an intern (oops, that one might be true).

Damn you Kid Kyoto, you jinxed the Tau release!