Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

 Krellnus wrote:
In my experience, having had similar problems to what you have in the past, I find that if I'm having a bad day, I'll go to bed and hour or two earlier than normal, the extra sleep really refreshes me and takes my mind off of things, that and painting.

That helps. or venting at a pillow or something.

I try to balance things in my head. I've sort of set my self a 1 win/draw in three target. If I get that 1 win or drawn I'm more than happy and helps me relax in later games.

I also take each game as it comes and it helps that I only game with friends.

I've actually found losing some games more beneficial than winning everything. I went for 12 months without loss with my primary Ork army (lost with my other armies) before 6th came out. I ended up worrying more and more each week that my Ork WAAAGH would come to an end and was kind of happy when it finally did.

 Peregrine wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Yes, I deployed to wreck his army. but he destroyed me in two turns.

Here's the problem. You didn't lose because of a single roll of the dice, you lost because you screwed up by overextending in a game where you know you have a 1/6 chance of losing the first turn you thought you had. You need to step away from the game for a while and don't try to play again until you can handle making mistakes without getting upset about it.

Is that really necessary right now when the issue is trying to handle his emotions?

 ZebioLizard2 wrote:
Is that really necessary right now when the issue is trying to handle his emotions?

Of course it's necessary. He's using the dice as an excuse instead of admitting that he has only himself to blame for his loss and he's getting mad at people because he's frustrated with his own mistakes. Step 1 in fixing his emotions is to take responsibility for his mistakes, take a step back from the game, and realize that if he can't handle making mistakes without taking it out on other people he needs to stop playing 40k.

 Peregrine wrote:

 ZebioLizard2 wrote:
Is that really necessary right now when the issue is trying to handle his emotions?

Of course it's necessary. He's using the dice as an excuse instead of admitting that he has only himself to blame for his loss and he's getting mad at people because he's frustrated with his own mistakes. Step 1 in fixing his emotions is to take responsibility for his mistakes, take a step back from the game, and realize that if he can't handle making mistakes without taking it out on other people he needs to stop playing 40k.

True, the best way I've found to step back is (whilst mainly for online games, applies here as well) to realise that you will end up playing hundreds, if not thousands of games, will one extra loss really make that difference overall?

Biggest problem is, theres this stigma about looking stuff up. Seems like people are always uppity if it gets to the "look it up" stage. They just want you to listen to THEM and be done with it.

But maybe just putting the breaks on, and looking it up would help. as you were wrong in this case, and potentially in other cases, it pays to remove the possibility of criticism from the situation by finding it in the book. Also gives you a moment to breathe. Your opponent may not like the pause in the action BUT he'll like it better than the alternative which is you getting uppity with him and being proven wrong!

When in doubt just look it up and dont hesitate or ENGAGE either. Once you KNOW you dont agree, dont SAY it. Just look it up.

Sounds like it'd be best to learn to accept that random chance is a big part of the game, and when it lets you down, you'd be best to either put up with it or laugh it off. Just remember that the chance to fail was always there when you let go of the dice. You weren't cheated by them, it's out of your control and it can equally happen to your opponent.

Maybe it should be mandatory for everyone to have a few games using Orks. That way everyone can get used to the feeling of most of their shots missing.

Number one golden rule in 40K: Game should be as fun for your opponent as it is for you.

Playing 40K in itself is winning. Everything else is just gravy!!

 DrLegend wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Im not saying what i did was rational, what im asking for is help to not loosing my temper again. Th break idea sounds great

If that's the case then there's no one in this thread that can help you. It sounds like you need therapy.

I'm not saying this to be mean or nasty but from your responses to everyone's advice, it just sounds like there is an underlying problem there that you have to deal with.

I'm actually going to agree with this, though I would soften it a bit to suggest that "Therapy might be an option". It might not be the right one, but there's no reason to not explore it as one possibility. As someone who has seen the benefits of therapy, and the consequences of avoiding it, I heartily encourage you to at least consider it. I personally have experienced counseling not as a bad thing, but an great chance to learn more about yourself and live life more fully.

If you struggle with anger issues, sometimes simple things like reading a certain book, counting to 10, getting the proper amount of sleep (a REALLY good idea) etc, etc. can help, but if tiny things are setting you off, then anger management is something to look into. That can take the form of therapy, counseling, support groups, etc. Seeking professional help is nothing to be ashamed of. It takes a very mature person to even consider the idea that they might have a problem, but don't stop there. Even if it seems little now, this kind of thing can grow.

If what happened was enough that you feel remorse and you're worried enough about a possible recurrence to seek advice on a forum about how to cope, then at least a brief evaluation with a professional is a very good idea. A qualified professional will be more than able to let you know whether you simply need some coping strategies, or whether a course of therapy is a good idea.

 Mark1130 wrote:
Number one golden rule in 40K: Game should be as fun for your opponent as it is for you.

Playing 40K in itself is winning. Everything else is just gravy!!

^^

One thing you might consider is playing some Low Point games. they are more relaxing because the small scale makes for a more character driven battle (since when there are fewer models the actions of each individual means more). They are also more relaxing because you can pound out a 750 point game in 45 minutes.

So that means you are never stuck spiraling into a hopeless loss for the next 2 hours which can be demoralizing. The game is over pretty quickly, and you can play another one or 2 before you go home.

I play 1 , maybe two games every two weeks . If I lost a game with a single roll and then got steam rolled without any chance to get at least a draw , I think I would feel bad too. two hours drive to the FLGS then 2 hours back , shop opens at 11 but your opponent will never be there before noon . It is like a wasted whole day , because of a single roll.

 Jancoran wrote:
Biggest problem is, theres this stigma about looking stuff up.

I think it depends how you handle it. If there's ever a dispute, I just check with a nonchalant attitude towards it. Show my opponent and it's usually followed by "oh ok, never mind!" It's when you get aggressive and insist you're right people will tend to get upset. So I agree, the easiest way is to just never let it get to that stage.

I've never met an angry stoner

yeah and DON'T ENGAGE. Just don't "go there" before you look it up. Don't try to impress the other guy with your knowledge. Just say "Lets look it up, so we dont get it wrong when it really matters, like at a tourney or something"

I totally get where you're coming from. I play a lot of Space Hulk with my friend who is really competitive. I generally play Space Marines which I've found to be quite difficult to win with.

Every now and then I get really down in the middle of the game. I start to think "what's the point in this, the game is clearly biased towards the Tyranids". I believe this is referred to as "The Face" by Jervis Johnson in WD.

I recommend (as others have said) putting the game in perspective. It's supposed to be something that makes you happy. For me, that comes at the end of the game when I look back at the little cinematic events that occurred as we played. For example, in our last game my Space Marine had nearly reached the objective zone and was backing towards it when my opponent sprung a genestealer on me from behind.

It was utterly infuriating, but when I thought about it later I couldn't think of a more tense and entertaining way for the game to end. Try finding what makes you happy about playing.

Also, never get upset with dice rolls. They are totally random, that's the whole point of them. You just have to learn to accept them.

 -Loki- wrote:
Stop caring.

Seriously, it's a game where you're pushing toy soldiers around a table. Regardless of if you want to win or not, that's all it is.

If you have a bad dice roll or a string of them, that's all you're doing. It's got no impact on your life, it's merely leisure time. Winning wouldn't get you anything losing doesn't get you.

So, basically, stop caring if you're going to win. Just play and chat to your opponent. If you win, you win. It's really, really not worth getting upset over.

I have never once got mad during a game and it's basically for this reason alone. It's the same with video games if somebody's being really annoying on them. Just stop and think, does what I am doing here really warrant how cross I'm getting? In the end war gaming is for fun and the second you stop having fun that's when you have to really start thinking.

Play it up, and act mad, but not AT anyone. Curse the dice gods, act like you're pulling your hair out, fall to your knees and scream "NOOOO! Sergeant Twodaysbeforeretirement, you came so close!" before thrusting your face into your palms in grief... play it for laughs. You get to vent a little, others get to enjoy the spectacle.

I like this advice. A lot. EXALTED

Take all your dice. Take a few, put them in the micro wave. Then take the rest of your dice, and place them in front of the micro wave in a semi circle.

Then turn on the micro wave till the dice inside melt and let that be a lesson to the rest of the dice, to preform better.

I don't think I've ever gotten mad about anything that happened "in game" but I've certainly gotten pissed off at some maladjusted players before.

My main question is: how did everyone react to your tantrum, OP? Were they shocked, or were they (as I imagine my gaming group would have been) laughing at it? The reason I ask is if they were amused by it, I don't think there's any real hard feelings unless you started actually personally insulting them or swinging at them. We've had some people have some pretty hysterical meltdowns but there was never any real ugliness that came of it. Now, if they were actually upset with you I don't know how they will react to you showing up in the future.

As an aside, this sort of thing is why I don't play pick-up games or tournaments anymore. I finally met my threshold of TFGs. I'll stick with playing friends from here on out.

 Monster Rain wrote:
I don't think I've ever gotten mad about anything that happened "in game" but I've certainly gotten pissed off at some maladjusted players before.

My main question is: how did everyone react to your tantrum, OP? Were they shocked, or were they (as I imagine my gaming group would have been) laughing at it? The reason I ask is if they were amused by it, I don't think there's any real hard feelings unless you started actually personally insulting them or swinging at them. We've had some people have some pretty hysterical meltdowns but there was never any real ugliness that came of it. Now, if they were actually upset with you I don't know how they will react to you showing up in the future.

As an aside, this sort of thing is why I don't play pick-up games or tournaments anymore. I finally met my threshold of TFGs. I'll stick with playing friends from here on out.

TBh, they where shocked, and some of it may have been my opponent, he got upset at things aswell(Like i said "Do you want to do it wher we place fortifications as deployment" HE said no, so i said he has to place down his deployment he got pissy saying that is hot how it works) And that made it worse TBH. and he questioned me not knowing my army and got upset that he cant take saves from marker lights.
He questioned everything and that got annoying.

Hey you had a bad day, it happens to everyone. If you apologized and they hold it against you, then it is their own problem now.

 Ugavine wrote:
I try to balance things in my head. I've sort of set my self a 1 win/draw in three target. If I get that 1 win or drawn I'm more than happy and helps me relax in later games.

I also take each game as it comes and it helps that I only game with friends.

I've actually found losing some games more beneficial than winning everything. I went for 12 months without loss with my primary Ork army (lost with my other armies) before 6th came out. I ended up worrying more and more each week that my Ork WAAAGH would come to an end and was kind of happy when it finally did.

I try to care about the silly things in my games, like the support weapon team killing the Dreadnought in CC, the lone tactical squad holding the breach against a guard hoard, 3 guradsmen heroically killing mephiston and so on....

I think the best thing, especially for a bad day or week may be finding another way to relieve the stress before the game. Try and do something before heading over to roll die. Some friends and I spar a few times a week and it really helps relieve stress. Nothing better then taking out your anger on someone else with a wooden stick. Perhaps try and find some friends who are interested and some foam melee weapons to spar with.

Davor wrote:
Take all your dice. Take a few, put them in the micro wave. Then take the rest of your dice, and place them in front of the micro wave in a semi circle.

Then turn on the micro wave till the dice inside melt and let that be a lesson to the rest of the dice, to preform better.

FYI, this basically just gives you some weighted dice.

Which might solve the problem but create even more.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:

 Monster Rain wrote:
I don't think I've ever gotten mad about anything that happened "in game" but I've certainly gotten pissed off at some maladjusted players before.

My main question is: how did everyone react to your tantrum, OP? Were they shocked, or were they (as I imagine my gaming group would have been) laughing at it? The reason I ask is if they were amused by it, I don't think there's any real hard feelings unless you started actually personally insulting them or swinging at them. We've had some people have some pretty hysterical meltdowns but there was never any real ugliness that came of it. Now, if they were actually upset with you I don't know how they will react to you showing up in the future.

As an aside, this sort of thing is why I don't play pick-up games or tournaments anymore. I finally met my threshold of TFGs. I'll stick with playing friends from here on out.

TBh, they where shocked, and some of it may have been my opponent, he got upset at things aswell(Like i said "Do you want to do it wher we place fortifications as deployment" HE said no, so i said he has to place down his deployment he got pissy saying that is hot how it works) And that made it worse TBH. and he questioned me not knowing my army and got upset that he cant take saves from marker lights.
He questioned everything and that got annoying.

it does make it considerably hard to enjoy the game though when your opponent is a massive dick!

 Peregrine wrote:

 ZebioLizard2 wrote:
Is that really necessary right now when the issue is trying to handle his emotions?

Of course it's necessary. He's using the dice as an excuse instead of admitting that he has only himself to blame for his loss and he's getting mad at people because he's frustrated with his own mistakes. Step 1 in fixing his emotions is to take responsibility for his mistakes, take a step back from the game, and realize that if he can't handle making mistakes without taking it out on other people he needs to stop playing 40k.

You don't know that, and your attitude is not helping anyone. Telling people they need to stop playing 40K... geez.

 Super Ready wrote:
Play it up, and act mad, but not AT anyone. Curse the dice gods, act like you're pulling your hair out, fall to your knees and scream "NOOOO! Sergeant Twodaysbeforeretirement, you came so close!" before thrusting your face into your palms in grief... play it for laughs. You get to vent a little, others get to enjoy the spectacle.

This may perhaps be the best advice there is. In our gaming club, this has become the natural way to deal with incredibly crappy games. It's a circus, but at least everyone is having a laugh instead of, you know, losing their temper.

 -Loki- wrote:

Davor wrote:
Take all your dice. Take a few, put them in the micro wave. Then take the rest of your dice, and place them in front of the micro wave in a semi circle.

Then turn on the micro wave till the dice inside melt and let that be a lesson to the rest of the dice, to preform better.

FYI, this basically just gives you some weighted dice.

Which might solve the problem but create even more.

Dice drowning works. (also FYI, dice in the microwave explode) Frying/boiling also works, just make sure you move them around. (don't ask how I know...)

The best advice I ever had was from my PhD supervisor after I had a string of failed experiements:

"gak happens"

As soon as you embrace that concept, you'll find life a hell of a lot easier. It's not "not caring" it's just accepting that you can't control everything and inevitably things will fail. IMO it's applicable to table top games too.