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Made in us
Member of the Ethereal Council






So, yesterday i played a game and got screwed by a single dice roll. One that cause my army to plummet. I was fine. But I have having a bad week beforehand(Stuff like going down on the bus for 40k day on Saturday and none showing up)
So we got in a rules argument and i got out of hand. When I did find out i was wrong i admitted it. I got scolded by a guy. I apologized profusely to everyone involved. BUt i feel the damage is done. I feel the only way is to stay level headed. I think things might be ok because the guy who scolded me challenged me to a game next week.
What im asking, If im having a bad week, and i end up in a frustrating game of 40k where Im just not having fun, how do i keep my cool?

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Made in au
Norn Queen






Stop caring.

Seriously, it's a game where you're pushing toy soldiers around a table. Regardless of if you want to win or not, that's all it is.

If you have a bad dice roll or a string of them, that's all you're doing. It's got no impact on your life, it's merely leisure time. Winning wouldn't get you anything losing doesn't get you.

So, basically, stop caring if you're going to win. Just play and chat to your opponent. If you win, you win. It's really, really not worth getting upset over.
   
Made in us
Judgemental Grey Knight Justicar





New Orleans

I think you just have to stop and get a drink or take a snack break. Remove yourself from the situation. I get mad when people cheat. I can't help myself so I get a drink and feel better when I come back.

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Made in us
Dakka Veteran





Hey I feel you man, I'm new to the game and I haven't won once against my friend who's being playing for a couple years. I've been angry at how I just can't win against him but Whenever I roll poorly I always blame the gods of chaos and say "challenge accepted" as I lose another unit or the battle sways in my friend's favor. I'm assuming that you're playing because you enjoy playing 40k so it's just kinda my opinion but have fun with it, take risks, go big or go home. It might be why I keep losing but I've never not had fun in a single game. I always take the rolls of the dice from the other guy's shoes and congratulate him on making the 1/216 chance shot that he just made rolling 3 consecutive boxcars. Stuff happens, accept it
   
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Member of the Ethereal Council






 -Loki- wrote:
Stop caring.

Seriously, it's a game where you're pushing toy soldiers around a table. Regardless of if you want to win or not, that's all it is.

If you have a bad dice roll or a string of them, that's all you're doing. It's got no impact on your life, it's merely leisure time. Winning wouldn't get you anything losing doesn't get you.

So, basically, stop caring if you're going to win. Just play and chat to your opponent. If you win, you win. It's really, really not worth getting upset over.

I have never cared about winning, I care about a fun game where im not cheated by a single bad dice roll.

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Made in au
Norn Queen






 hotsauceman1 wrote:
 -Loki- wrote:
Stop caring.

Seriously, it's a game where you're pushing toy soldiers around a table. Regardless of if you want to win or not, that's all it is.

If you have a bad dice roll or a string of them, that's all you're doing. It's got no impact on your life, it's merely leisure time. Winning wouldn't get you anything losing doesn't get you.

So, basically, stop caring if you're going to win. Just play and chat to your opponent. If you win, you win. It's really, really not worth getting upset over.

I have never cared about winning, I care about a fun game where im not cheated by a single bad dice roll.


Not to be offensive, but if you're getting set off like this based on a single dice roll, you are, at least subconciously, overly concerned with winning.

Shrug it off. it's a game, and you'll have another game after it.

Serisously, there's other things in life that will get to you, and for good reason. A tabletop wargame has no good reason to get to you.
   
Made in us
Aspirant Tech-Adept





 hotsauceman1 wrote:
 -Loki- wrote:
Stop caring.

Seriously, it's a game where you're pushing toy soldiers around a table. Regardless of if you want to win or not, that's all it is.

If you have a bad dice roll or a string of them, that's all you're doing. It's got no impact on your life, it's merely leisure time. Winning wouldn't get you anything losing doesn't get you.

So, basically, stop caring if you're going to win. Just play and chat to your opponent. If you win, you win. It's really, really not worth getting upset over.

I have never cared about winning, I care about a fun game where im not cheated by a single bad dice roll.


You need to change the way you think about the game. A bad dice roll is not "cheating" you.

This weekend in the last turn my friends hydra needed to roll a total of 5 on two dice to make the charge into my completely depleted temple guard unit. If he makes the roll he probably wipes the unit, kills the frog and wins the game. If he fails, the TG and frog live and I win the game by a massive spread because the only things he killed were my chaff.

So if he makes the roll, am I cheated by losing to a single dice roll after 6 turns of hard fighting?

So if he fails the roll, is he cheated by losing to a single dice roll after fighting my temple guard nearly to death through six turns?

The answer to both questions is NO. Actually I think its rather interesting and fun for the game to have pivotal moments where the outcome is heavily influenced by a roll. The thing is, a lot of stuff happens in the time leading up to the roll, its just that you are focused on a particular pivotal moment that is at the end of a long sequence of events and rolls.

My friend rolled a 3 by the way.

   
Made in us
Member of the Ethereal Council






Im not saying what i did was rational, what im asking for is help to not loosing my temper again. Th break idea sounds great

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Made in us
Nigel Stillman





Seattle WA

I doubt you will, after all you have this experiance to remind you what not to do.


See more on Know Your Meme 
   
Made in us
Esteemed Veteran Space Marine







Typically when the dice are being hard on me, I try to just laugh about it. I've had games where my opponent genuinely felt sorry for me because I failed to make a single power armour save in 3 turns, or because he won the game on a single, last turn warp storm roll.

The dice can be cruel, and sometimes you just need to purge them. I even made it a show once, going so far as to ritually destroy a set of dice that continously rolled horrible, and making a point to make my new dice watch The melted remains were made into a new piece of terrain even!
   
Made in us
Longtime Dakkanaut





Holland , Vermont

you are having a bad week and expect a game to hopefully cheer you up, you are taking a chance due to the competitive nature of the game and the randomness of dice rolls.

My suggestion is if you find yourself at the end of a bad week, don't play a one on one game to relive stress. get a team game going with 2 or more to a side, it easier to laugh at turns of chance when you have somebody sharing the suck so to speak.

UI never play a singles game when I am even a bit grouchy, I bring stuff to paint, or just shoot the breeze, or play a team game, even better have a experienced gamer you respect set up a scenario for a team game.

The best way not to lose your temper is to avoid situations you know may get you hot under the collar.

Next week when you show up for the game bring some sodas and chips for everyone and just say hey sorry for last week..gamers love junk food



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Disguised Speculo





Was the dice roll a "seize the initiative roll"

If so, blame GW for putting that simply idiotic rubbish into the game, not yourself.

Deny the Witch can also go suck a fat one
   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut





Vallejo, CA

hotsauceman1 wrote:So, yesterday i played a game and got screwed by a single dice roll.

Welcome to 40k.

hotsauceman1 wrote:What im asking, If im having a bad week, and i end up in a frustrating game of 40k where Im just not having fun, how do i keep my cool?

Firstly, as others are saying, adjust your attitude with regards to what you're getting from 40k. If you treat it as a chance to have your skill tested by luck, rather than by your opponents, and if you treat it as a chance to field neat models and make pew noises, rather than a serious tactical exercise, and if you treat it as a chance to hang with friends, rather than to succeed at something, then things like this won't bother you nearly so much.

Put another way, a broader, more mature, more realistic assessment of what you're doing will help.

Otherwise... I guess just play more games until eventually you win one without the dice making much of a difference. May take awhile though, depending on your luck.



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Seattle WA

 Soo'Vah'Cha wrote:


Next week when you show up for the game bring some sodas and chips for everyone and just say hey sorry for last week..gamers love junk food




This is some good advice.


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Member of the Ethereal Council






 Dakkamite wrote:
Was the dice roll a "seize the initiative roll"

If so, blame GW for putting that simply idiotic rubbish into the game, not yourself.

Deny the Witch can also go suck a fat one

Yes, I deployed to wreck his army. but he destroyed me in two turns.

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Made in gb
Decrepit Dakkanaut






UK

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Im not saying what i did was rational, what im asking for is help to not loosing my temper again.


I've found that asking the internet for advice like this leads to all sorts of problems, chief amongst them being people not getting just where you're coming from. For me, 'advice' tended to be 'just _____' or 'simply ______' when actually very little of it was 'just' or 'simply'. Anger is one of those things that is incredibly subjective, and the techniques people find easy or that work will not for others, and because the person suggesting them can't understand how something they find so trivial could be difficult what tends to happen is that your anger is picked apart; its causes are highlighted as being illogical and you are ridiculed or even outright blamed for being angry purely because whoever replied is incapable of understanding it how you do.

I'm not saying that this happens every time. What I am saying is that from my personal experience, it's far easier to talk it over with closer friends who are more likely to understand you and know where you're coming from. People you see and hang out with personally on a regular basis will be more able by far to give advice, tell you if they spot triggers, and to recognise and understand that you had a gakky run of events. The internet, as helpful as it can be, is inferior to friends and family when it comes to things like this. There's also no harm in talking it over with your doctor. It's not an indicator that you think there's something wrong with you, but a doctor is trained in a variety of fields, including the ways our minds work, and they dispense helpful advice, not just medicine.

Discuss it with a few people close to you, and see what you can do as a group. The fact you're asking for their help shows them that you're not the person you were that one time, and that you trust them enough to allow them to give you advice and tips, and also that you trust them to understand that gak happens, and sometimes it happens a lot in a short space of time. You don't need to start off tackling the entire thing, either. If you're going through a particularly stressful time, small victories can mean just as much as large ones. Starting off, you might feel better chatting about how the past day has gone prior to the game, and give you a chance to let off some steam and lower the pressure beforehand. I know from experience that the smallest thing can trigger an explosion of pent-up anger, so venting as much as possible can allow you to brush off those small annoyances far more easily. You might not have completely solved the problem then and there, but you have come up with a way of coping with it until you can solve it further, and that first small step can trigger a number of larger ones.

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Anytime you feel like you're starting to get worked up, just take a short time out, close your eyes, count to 10 slowly before thinking about what you're doing.
   
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 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Im not saying what i did was rational, what im asking for is help to not loosing my temper again. Th break idea sounds great


If that's the case then there's no one in this thread that can help you. It sounds like you need therapy.

I'm not saying this to be mean or nasty but from your responses to everyone's advice, it just sounds like there is an underlying problem there that you have to deal with.

"Nothing is to be preferred over justice."
- Socrates 
   
Made in us
Gore-Soaked Lunatic Witchhunter







Don't play competitive games when in a temper, if you're looking for a fight and you start losing (which you will, temper tends to detract from capability/strategy) you will focus your anger on the game or the other player. Try something more calming. Read a book.

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Sneaky Striking Scorpion






 hotsauceman1 wrote:
 -Loki- wrote:
Stop caring.

Seriously, it's a game where you're pushing toy soldiers around a table. Regardless of if you want to win or not, that's all it is.

If you have a bad dice roll or a string of them, that's all you're doing. It's got no impact on your life, it's merely leisure time. Winning wouldn't get you anything losing doesn't get you.

So, basically, stop caring if you're going to win. Just play and chat to your opponent. If you win, you win. It's really, really not worth getting upset over.

I have never cared about winning, I care about a fun game where im not cheated by a single bad dice roll.


Pull out your super-lucky-always-sixes-bright-green-transparent special dice, claim it as such (random dice from your case/pocket/bag will do) and roll off. Works every time. Then, after the game, show the opponent what it was and have a casual chat about it.

...I reject your reality and substitute it with my own...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
 ThePrimordial wrote:

Tervigon comes out of nowhere. Proceeds to beat the Emperor to a bloody pulp somehow.
That's actually what happened, Horus is secretly a Tervigon.
The inquisition doesn't want you to know.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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Decrepit Dakkanaut






UK

 DrLegend wrote:
 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Im not saying what i did was rational, what im asking for is help to not loosing my temper again. Th break idea sounds great


If that's the case then there's no one in this thread that can help you. It sounds like you need therapy.

I'm not saying this to be mean or nasty but from your responses to everyone's advice, it just sounds like there is an underlying problem there that you have to deal with.


Unless you're a qualified medical professional, I'd refrain from suggesting to anyone that they need therapy. Even if you are a qualified medical professional, such suggestions are best left for a person's GP to make if they feel the need.

Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.

Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.

My deviantART Profile - Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Madness

"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation 
   
Made in us
Regular Dakkanaut




I personally like to bring drinks and snacks that don't make my fingers greasy as a way to keep myself out of arguments and buy myself time to think. If I get stressed, I grab a gatorade and take a drink. Not talking for even a few seconds buys you time to collect your thoughts and prevent emotion from undermining logic in your arguments. Snacks are also a great way to relax and make the game less formal.

Of course, make sure the food you eat is healthy or suitable. You don't want to be eating bags of Lays chips over the span of a 4 hours match... especially if you're already conscious about your weight. Water/gatorade works for me...

Also, there's gotta be another outlet for your stress if it builds too much. I like to roll dice randomly and look at the outcomes, and be glad or sad I didn't roll that earlier. A friend I know likes to click the end of a pen to vent frustration.
   
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I roll dice...

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-----------------------------------------------------------------------
 ThePrimordial wrote:

Tervigon comes out of nowhere. Proceeds to beat the Emperor to a bloody pulp somehow.
That's actually what happened, Horus is secretly a Tervigon.
The inquisition doesn't want you to know.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
DS:90+S++G+++M++B+I+++Pw40k07#++D++A++/cWD341R+++T(T)DM+ 
   
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Norn Queen






In regards to taking your mind off things, maybe this is why I don't have much invested in my games to get angry, but my friends and I just shoot the gak while playing.

For example, my most recent game we were talking about upcoming movies like Iron Man 3, or discussing Game of Thrones episodes. Just talking like normal helps keep the atmosphere nice and calm.

The guys I do see getting stressed at my FLGS tend to be the guys who stand exactly 3 paces back from the table with Mr McSerious looks on their faces and whose only conversation is 'pawn to king 4' style.
   
Made in us
Dakka Veteran





Personally, I find that I can assuage my temper with savage acts of random violence.

But seriously, below is pretty good advice. Don't be too hard on yourself; at least you are not only aware of the issue but you also wish to address it. Best of luck!

 Avatar 720 wrote:
 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Im not saying what i did was rational, what im asking for is help to not loosing my temper again.


I've found that asking the internet for advice like this leads to all sorts of problems, chief amongst them being people not getting just where you're coming from. For me, 'advice' tended to be 'just _____' or 'simply ______' when actually very little of it was 'just' or 'simply'. Anger is one of those things that is incredibly subjective, and the techniques people find easy or that work will not for others, and because the person suggesting them can't understand how something they find so trivial could be difficult what tends to happen is that your anger is picked apart; its causes are highlighted as being illogical and you are ridiculed or even outright blamed for being angry purely because whoever replied is incapable of understanding it how you do.

I'm not saying that this happens every time. What I am saying is that from my personal experience, it's far easier to talk it over with closer friends who are more likely to understand you and know where you're coming from. People you see and hang out with personally on a regular basis will be more able by far to give advice, tell you if they spot triggers, and to recognise and understand that you had a gakky run of events. The internet, as helpful as it can be, is inferior to friends and family when it comes to things like this. There's also no harm in talking it over with your doctor. It's not an indicator that you think there's something wrong with you, but a doctor is trained in a variety of fields, including the ways our minds work, and they dispense helpful advice, not just medicine.

Discuss it with a few people close to you, and see what you can do as a group. The fact you're asking for their help shows them that you're not the person you were that one time, and that you trust them enough to allow them to give you advice and tips, and also that you trust them to understand that gak happens, and sometimes it happens a lot in a short space of time. You don't need to start off tackling the entire thing, either. If you're going through a particularly stressful time, small victories can mean just as much as large ones. Starting off, you might feel better chatting about how the past day has gone prior to the game, and give you a chance to let off some steam and lower the pressure beforehand. I know from experience that the smallest thing can trigger an explosion of pent-up anger, so venting as much as possible can allow you to brush off those small annoyances far more easily. You might not have completely solved the problem then and there, but you have come up with a way of coping with it until you can solve it further, and that first small step can trigger a number of larger ones.
   
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If your dice rolls are making you upset, you need to remember one simple thing:


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Made in gb
Drone without a Controller



Fort Stewart, GA

I have to agree with Avatar 720's suggestions... Friends and family can become great outlets for frustration and for handing out advice based on "knowing" you. Although, I also have to say that getting that upset at our little toy soldiers game and/or the the randomness of dice rolls is pretty extreme. Things in life will often not go our way, but we have to find ways of accepting those situations and learning from them. Life is, oftentimes, just as random as our "wonderful" little dice... In any game of 40k/WHFB/etc... the dice roll is always what wins or loses the game ultimately. Sound tactics and understanding of how yours and your opponents army works helps too, but the proverbial dice gods are the true deciding factor.
Anyway, talk to your personal support system (friends/family), take breaks from the table, and ultimately control yourself in public environments. If you feel yourself slipping into a downward spiral of anger/frustration, I'm sure your opponent would rather you excuse yourself from the game than make a public scene that embarrasses yourself and others.

Sun Tzu: "It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle."
 
   
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Terrifying Treeman






The Fallen Realm of Umbar

In my experience, having had similar problems to what you have in the past, I find that if I'm having a bad day, I'll go to bed and hour or two earlier than normal, the extra sleep really refreshes me and takes my mind off of things, that and painting.

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 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Yes, I deployed to wreck his army. but he destroyed me in two turns.


Here's the problem. You didn't lose because of a single roll of the dice, you lost because you screwed up by overextending in a game where you know you have a 1/6 chance of losing the first turn you thought you had. You need to step away from the game for a while and don't try to play again until you can handle making mistakes without getting upset about it.

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 hotsauceman1 wrote:
Im not saying what i did was rational, what im asking for is help to not loosing my temper again. Th break idea sounds great


You should read the book "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius. Various translations should be freely available online, so pick one that you like. This book is an excellent introduction to the philosophy known as Stoicism, which seems as if it would address many of your problems admirably.
   
 
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