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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/05 08:32:40
Subject: The Ambush
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Conniving Informer
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rez, you're right on both counts mate. That feedback was awesome, and it is difficult not to get your back up when somebody disagrees with what you write. It takes a while before that reaction goes away and you just see useful stuff.
Like I said before, it's exactly the sort of stuff you want when writing in someone else's world. Take it when you can get it and apply to your next piece!
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/05 22:38:05
Subject: The Ambush
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Mutated Chosen Chaos Marine
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If Beaviz does takes your advice, that he'll be admitting that you guys are right.
He's gone too far to back down now. Imagine you're caught speeding, a minor crime, barely a crime at all, and instead of pulling over you put the pedal to the metal and try to outrun the cop. Midway through the chase, you can't just decide to pull over.
No, you have to brace for the g's and pull a two hundred and seventy degree turn while going ninety eight miles an hour, dragging your blood to the back of your brain and vomiting all over yourself. From there, encrusted with vomit and lapsing in and out of unconsciousness, you have to run the roadblock, shredding your tires to ruin and running down a veteran cop who was two days from retirement. Picture the wet crunch. Picture a man in a blue uniform reduced to hamburger and bone splinters. From there you turn on the radio and hear about yourself on the news, and soon enough the noise is drowned out by the chopping of helicopter blades.
Beaviz has no choice. He has to follow through to the bitter end.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 00:18:05
Subject: The Ambush
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Gargantuan Gargant
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LoneLictor wrote:If Beaviz does takes your advice, that he'll be admitting that you guys are right.
He's gone too far to back down now. Imagine you're caught speeding, a minor crime, barely a crime at all, and instead of pulling over you put the pedal to the metal and try to outrun the cop. Midway through the chase, you can't just decide to pull over.
No, you have to brace for the g's and pull a two hundred and seventy degree turn while going ninety eight miles an hour, dragging your blood to the back of your brain and vomiting all over yourself. From there, encrusted with vomit and lapsing in and out of unconsciousness, you have to run the roadblock, shredding your tires to ruin and running down a veteran cop who was two days from retirement. Picture the wet crunch. Picture a man in a blue uniform reduced to hamburger and bone splinters. From there you turn on the radio and hear about yourself on the news, and soon enough the noise is drowned out by the chopping of helicopter blades.
Beaviz has no choice. He has to follow through to the bitter end.
This was beautiful. The imagery and analogy of this little story is spot on which only makes this all the more sad how true this is in how Beaviz will end up behaving under this fusillade of rational viewpoints/criticisms. It's only a matter now of waiting to see what happens next. Will the police man's legs just be run over and be made a cripple? Or will his entire body be torn to shreds as Beaviz drives his combine harvester straight into the intersection?
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 00:59:38
Subject: The Ambush
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Mutated Chosen Chaos Marine
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I'm rooting for him to go off a jump and tear through a blimp, but I'm not sure what that's even a metaphor for.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 01:10:23
Subject: The Ambush
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Renegade Inquisitor de Marche
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He starts his own Wiki site to host all of it.
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Dakka Bingo! By Ouze
"You are the best at flying things"-Kanluwen
"Further proof that Purple is a fething brilliant super villain " -KingCracker
"Purp.. Im pretty sure I have a gun than can reach you...."-Nicorex
"That's not really an apocalypse. That's just Europe."-Grakmar
"almost as good as winning free cake at the tea drinking contest for an Englishman." -Reds8n
Seal up your lips and give no words but mum.
Equip, Reload. Do violence.
Watch for Gerry. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 01:19:37
Subject: The Ambush
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Mutated Chosen Chaos Marine
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Jesus Christ.
Don't do it Beaviz! You can never escape wiki, ever! You don't want to end up like the Sturmkrieg guy, do you?
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 01:34:24
Subject: Re:The Ambush
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Fixture of Dakka
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Well, this conversation has strayed somewhat, let's not derail the poor guy's thread for a bit of a laugh (however tempting it may be).
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DS:90-S++G+++M++B++I+Plotr06#+D+++A++++/eWD251R+++T(Ot)DM+
JB: I like the concept of a free Shrike roaming through the treetops of the jungle. I'm not sure that I like the idea of a real Shrike sitting on my couch eating my Skittles.
corpsesarefun: Thank god I missed be nice to shrike day.
greenskin lynn: because of all the skittles and soda, you basically live off sugar water, like some sort of freakish human-hummingbird hybrid. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 02:09:57
Subject: The Ambush
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Conniving Informer
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Ha! LoneLictor, you're a metaphor king!
In all seriousness, however, you've got a point Shrike. Back to the point. Beavisz, when's the next piece?
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 02:10:02
Subject: Re:The Ambush
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Mutated Chosen Chaos Marine
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shrike wrote:Well, this conversation has strayed somewhat, let's not derail the poor guy's thread for a bit of a laugh (however tempting it may be).
You're right.
Beaviz, considering that the commissar's authority is such a minor aspect of the story, I would suggest changing it. Even if you disagree with what they're saying, appeasing the audience can be very important.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 02:20:43
Subject: The Ambush
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Renegade Inquisitor de Marche
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It would alter a fair amount of stuff, not necessarily just in this story.
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Dakka Bingo! By Ouze
"You are the best at flying things"-Kanluwen
"Further proof that Purple is a fething brilliant super villain " -KingCracker
"Purp.. Im pretty sure I have a gun than can reach you...."-Nicorex
"That's not really an apocalypse. That's just Europe."-Grakmar
"almost as good as winning free cake at the tea drinking contest for an Englishman." -Reds8n
Seal up your lips and give no words but mum.
Equip, Reload. Do violence.
Watch for Gerry. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 05:04:32
Subject: The Ambush
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Mutated Chosen Chaos Marine
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purplefood wrote:It would alter a fair amount of stuff, not necessarily just in this story.
I'm confused.
I thought the issue was that he made his commissar powerful enough to demote someone, when in fact he couldn't. All Beaviz had to do was say the local Lord Commander or whatever the feth agreed with the commissar and demoted him on the commissar's advice. It wouldn't change much, and it would preserve canon.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 06:04:45
Subject: The Ambush
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Renegade Inquisitor de Marche
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LoneLictor wrote: purplefood wrote:It would alter a fair amount of stuff, not necessarily just in this story.
I'm confused.
I thought the issue was that he made his commissar powerful enough to demote someone, when in fact he couldn't. All Beaviz had to do was say the local Lord Commander or whatever the feth agreed with the commissar and demoted him on the commissar's advice. It wouldn't change much, and it would preserve canon.
Ah but in other stories he has written he has his Commissars punching out Lord Commissars on the basis that they don't particularly like them...
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Dakka Bingo! By Ouze
"You are the best at flying things"-Kanluwen
"Further proof that Purple is a fething brilliant super villain " -KingCracker
"Purp.. Im pretty sure I have a gun than can reach you...."-Nicorex
"That's not really an apocalypse. That's just Europe."-Grakmar
"almost as good as winning free cake at the tea drinking contest for an Englishman." -Reds8n
Seal up your lips and give no words but mum.
Equip, Reload. Do violence.
Watch for Gerry. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 06:21:58
Subject: The Ambush
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Conniving Informer
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Or he could just take the advice and implement it for his next piece.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 13:50:15
Subject: The Ambush
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Terrifying Doombull
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Knowing this particular brand of authors I find it highly unlikely he will ever reason to reason.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 21:45:43
Subject: Re:The Ambush
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Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus
Norway
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LoneLictor wrote:shrike wrote:Well, this conversation has strayed somewhat, let's not derail the poor guy's thread for a bit of a laugh (however tempting it may be).
You're right.
Beaviz, considering that the commissar's authority is such a minor aspect of the story, I would suggest changing it. Even if you disagree with what they're saying, appeasing the audience can be very important.
That's interpretation. She is throwing her weight around and being irrational about it, so she demotes. That's what I interprets political officer to be, as that was the historical thingy (look at Soviet, there the commissars had to pick the officers, which is my point), same with logistics, I just overruled with historical fact, and sure I admit I do some wrongs, but the author has the final word of what to take in and not. In this fiction the commissars can throw their weight around in regard to rank and also they are the links to Munitorum, now that's cleared. That's just in case you wondered.
As for purplefood, a Lord-Commissar of the PDF is worthless for a true commissar (that's very fluffy). Infact trying to pull rank there for the Lord-Commissar in that instance would likely be fatal. And that's not a part of this piece, but I'm honestly tired of your agenda of negative interpretations, it does more to hinder than to help. And now I have them asking their superior for anything and giving salutes all the time. So something good came off your derp and JAG.
And Trondheim is right I don't listen to things I consider derp. If you can't say anything positive then shut up.
In the end I think I get harsh reviews due to history nothing else, and I don't really care.
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If you have nothing nice to say then say frakking nothing. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 22:05:46
Subject: The Ambush
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Mutated Chosen Chaos Marine
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I think the conversation was more productive when I was coming up with metaphors.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 22:24:46
Subject: Re:The Ambush
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Rough Rider with Boomstick
Guelph Ontario
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Beaviz81 wrote: If you can't say anything positive then shut up.
In the end I think I get harsh reviews due to history nothing else, and I don't really care.
And that right there is the problem. Listen, I don't have anything against you, but this kind of attitude is going to get you nowhere. If you just expect praise and prestige because you typed out a first draft, then you will be in for a rude awakening if you ever try to get anything published.
And history can definitely get you harsh reviews. If you have a record of antagonistic behavior towards critics, why would you expect them to go easy on you?
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Think of something clever to say. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 22:31:53
Subject: The Ambush
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Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus
Norway
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I can disregard advice as I see fit pure and simple, which I made a point of. Comments are advice nothing more, nothing less. That shall be the paragon for any commenter. Some of this might be good actually and I might even use it down the road. I'm a slow guy, quick to temper, slow to heal, and then stuff happens. That I apologize about.
In the end authors has the final word, but I'm notorious for listen to advice several weeks too late, so things might change, not even me knows that it has even been made a point of here.
Beaviz81 over and out.
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If you have nothing nice to say then say frakking nothing. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 22:48:35
Subject: Re:The Ambush
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Fixture of Dakka
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Beaviz81 wrote:That's interpretation. She is throwing her weight around and being irrational about it, so she demotes. That's what I interprets political officer to be, as that was the historical thingy (look at Soviet, there the commissars had to pick the officers, which is my point), same with logistics, I just overruled with historical fact, and sure I admit I do some wrongs... In this fiction the commissars can throw their weight around in regard to rank and also they are the links to Munitorum, now that's cleared. That's just in case you wondered.
I've said it several times, that isn't interpretation. Military Imperial law in the 41st millennium decrees that only senior officers can demote men.
Commissars can berate, execute, and otherwise punish, but they can't make command decisions unless they're a commander. That's just how it is.
Beaviz81 wrote:As for purplefood, a Lord-Commissar of the PDF is worthless for a true commissar (that's very fluffy).
That is strictly unofficial for 40k though- PDF are still military, so you can't just go around whaling on your more superior rankers just because they don't go on other planets and so aren't "true commissars". That's like an army trooper going up to a chief of police, clocking him and getting away with it.
Beaviz81 wrote:I'm honestly tired of your agenda of negative interpretations, it does more to hinder than to help.
Oh, the irony... I'm tired of your agenda of gaining positive feedback, it does infinitesimally more to hinder than to help anyone (especially your writing).
Beaviz81 wrote:And Trondheim is right I don't listen to things I consider derp. If you can't say anything positive then shut up.
And therein lies our problem. If you refuse to listen to anyone who says anything other than "holy gak you're the best writer ever", what's the point in posting your stories?
Beaviz81 wrote:In the end I think I get harsh reviews due to history nothing else, and I don't really care.
In the end I think you get negative feedback because it's more important for a writer to correct and refine his piece than for him to sit there thinking he's god's gift to readers.
Beaviz81 wrote:but the author has the final word of what to take in and not.
That's the problem- there is no "final" word because you don't care about any others, you just ignore them.
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DS:90-S++G+++M++B++I+Plotr06#+D+++A++++/eWD251R+++T(Ot)DM+
JB: I like the concept of a free Shrike roaming through the treetops of the jungle. I'm not sure that I like the idea of a real Shrike sitting on my couch eating my Skittles.
corpsesarefun: Thank god I missed be nice to shrike day.
greenskin lynn: because of all the skittles and soda, you basically live off sugar water, like some sort of freakish human-hummingbird hybrid. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 23:22:13
Subject: The Ambush
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Gargantuan Gargant
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@Beaviz I honestly don't know what you can say that makes blatantly ignoring good advice a good thing. Are you honestly saying that all you will listen to is what you want to hear? Then...really what's the point of posting this here? Your goal should be to improve and consider all the different aspects of your story that other people have picked up on like Shrike or Purplefood that don't add up or have a problem with prose, fluff, etc. Otherwise if you're just going to write to hear praise and positivity nonstop then sorry but you're on the wrong website with the wrong mindset; being stubborn in thinking that you're the best and your writing is beyond criticism won't change the fact that it's not and you're just setting yourself up to fall even more. Also just because you interpret certain things your own particular way doesn't make it right. It's like me saying that I interpret rape as only being illegal as a form of sexual assault if the victim doesn't enjoy it and I claim they do because they had an orgasm from it despite all evidence and the law telling me the contrary. Do you think this would hold up in the court of law? OH HELL NO. Similarly, this whole alternate viewpoint of your commissar lacks the fundamental role that their whole fluff is based on, as Shrike said you can't just go willy nilly doing things to normal troops as if they were part of the chain of command; they're not.
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This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2013/06/06 23:25:30
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/06 23:49:41
Subject: The Ambush
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Conniving Informer
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If you can't handle constructive feedback, pack up your pad and pen mate, writing fanfic for the public eye is not for you. You've got to remember that you're writing in someone else's universe. It's like the Matrix before Neo came back to life: rules can be bent, but not broken.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/19 17:44:39
Subject: The Ambush
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Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus
Norway
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Do you really think I listen to a bunch of griefters?
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If you have nothing nice to say then say frakking nothing. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/19 17:50:56
Subject: The Ambush
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Renegade Inquisitor de Marche
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At this point I don't think anyone thinks you listen to us. Either way the only real question is why you posted anything here in the first place if you don't care what anyone else thinks...
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Dakka Bingo! By Ouze
"You are the best at flying things"-Kanluwen
"Further proof that Purple is a fething brilliant super villain " -KingCracker
"Purp.. Im pretty sure I have a gun than can reach you...."-Nicorex
"That's not really an apocalypse. That's just Europe."-Grakmar
"almost as good as winning free cake at the tea drinking contest for an Englishman." -Reds8n
Seal up your lips and give no words but mum.
Equip, Reload. Do violence.
Watch for Gerry. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/19 18:08:38
Subject: The Ambush
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Terrifying Doombull
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Because OP is unable or unwilling to see reason, or take any form of advice. Much like certain other posters, who has posted feline related stories and a somewhat messy copy of a certain European nation that waged war quite often last millennium
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/06/19 18:09:38
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/19 18:14:16
Subject: The Ambush
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Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus
Norway
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I don't argue with flamers like yourself purplefood.
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If you have nothing nice to say then say frakking nothing. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/19 18:17:48
Subject: The Ambush
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Renegade Inquisitor de Marche
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Oh that makes things convenient for you then...
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Dakka Bingo! By Ouze
"You are the best at flying things"-Kanluwen
"Further proof that Purple is a fething brilliant super villain " -KingCracker
"Purp.. Im pretty sure I have a gun than can reach you...."-Nicorex
"That's not really an apocalypse. That's just Europe."-Grakmar
"almost as good as winning free cake at the tea drinking contest for an Englishman." -Reds8n
Seal up your lips and give no words but mum.
Equip, Reload. Do violence.
Watch for Gerry. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/19 18:18:39
Subject: Re:The Ambush
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Fixture of Dakka
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You might want to look up the definition of "flaming". He's not doing anything other than asking why bother posting stuff if you ignore everything anyone has to say about it unless it's glowing praise, even if it's just advice or constructive criticism.
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DS:90-S++G+++M++B++I+Plotr06#+D+++A++++/eWD251R+++T(Ot)DM+
JB: I like the concept of a free Shrike roaming through the treetops of the jungle. I'm not sure that I like the idea of a real Shrike sitting on my couch eating my Skittles.
corpsesarefun: Thank god I missed be nice to shrike day.
greenskin lynn: because of all the skittles and soda, you basically live off sugar water, like some sort of freakish human-hummingbird hybrid. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/19 20:06:06
Subject: The Ambush
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Gargantuan Gargant
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The amount of evasion when it comes to providing an answer to the simple question of "why bother posting if you only accept positive feedback" with really lame accusations of "griefers" and "flamers" and lack of concrete reasoning behind his argument made me notice the similarity of the ridiculousness going on at the Resin Forge thread. Obviously he's not Daniel in this case but the problem from both remain the same; both sides refuse to listen (yet still monitor the thread) to legitimate questions and stubbornly drudge along with fingers in their ears while calling everyone they perceive as haters names while attempting to put themselves in the spotlight as the victim.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/06/19 20:07:10
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/20 08:17:40
Subject: The Ambush
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Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus
Norway
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Edited by Manchu
Rule One is Be Polite
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/06/20 14:30:41
If you have nothing nice to say then say frakking nothing. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/20 08:28:46
Subject: The Ambush
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[MOD]
Not as Good as a Minion
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So if I explained the problems I have with this story calmly and logically would you take it under advice? Since I have never said 2 words to you, I haven't rubbed you the wrong way before
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/06/20 08:29:06
I wish I had time for all the game systems I own, let alone want to own... |
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