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 CthuluIsSpy wrote:
You are know thinking of Daemonettes in candy bras.

well, now I am

and candy bras I can resist... skittles, though? Sorry, Emperor, we had a good run...

 CthuluIsSpy wrote:
You are now thinking of Daemonettes in candy bras.

Out of my mind!

 shrike wrote:

 CthuluIsSpy wrote:
You are know thinking of Daemonettes in candy bras.

well, now I am

and candy bras I can resist... skittles, though? Sorry, Emperor, we had a good run...

I was thinking of daemonettes in candy bras so much, I used "know" instead of "now."

Have just finished mission 4 and will try to do the report tomorrow. Some highlights/teasers:

THREE people have been awarded the Crux Terminatus (i.e. you can wear terminator armour).
One person has been given purity seals (5 missions without breaking; although only 1 person has "broke" so far *ahem* Maxima Trauma).
Someone got their first kill.
Someone didn't get their first kill.
Rasputin got picked on by the enemy (genuinely).
Our rearguard didn't guard our rear.
Someone failed to hit an enemy 3 feet away.
Someone else may have... Ummm... Possibly died. BYE!


I think that was the only mission with the Predator. Next mission the techmarine comes along for the ride, and the mission after that we get Terminators.

Avatar 720 wrote:I'll take Apothecary II please, if he's still available.

Name: Won T'urrtabit.

Deal. You're in. Take care, some of the battle brothers are particularly sensitive.

SilverMK2 wrote:

 shrike wrote:
Feel free to blame my librarian for literally anything that happens in your game

So you're the reason I never hit anything!

I lol'd.

Oh so Techmarine Veri is going to try his hand at chopping up marines now? If so he better do well

 Just Dave wrote:

Avatar 720 wrote:I'll take Apothecary II please, if he's still available.

Name: Won T'urrtabit.

Deal. You're in. Take care, some of the battle brothers are particularly sensitive.

Careful, one of us may be dead already and returned from the dead.

And some of us may have Marinechausens.

 Just Dave wrote:


Someone got their first kill.
Someone didn't get their first kill.

Well, 50/50 chance of me having done something

I await the news with a eager mind

Probably won't get the report up tonight, so will try to do it over the weekend otherwise...

johnscott10 wrote:Oh so Techmarine Veri is going to try his hand at chopping up marines now? If so he better do well

'fraid ProfessionalAmateur/ Proficio Imperitus gets to go first, as he signed up before you.

The mission immediately after the next the techmarine's not there, but from then on I'll alternate between you two (or whomever doesn't die).

blood_ravens_marine wrote:

 Just Dave wrote:


Someone got their first kill.
Someone didn't get their first kill.

Well, 50/50 chance of me having done something

Tactical Squad III wasn't deployed, but next mission you'll be there and in with a chance of doing something (or not doing something)!

Next mission the two Tactical Squads will be deploying, alongside the Devastator Squad and Librarian Canuck. Apologies Shrike, but we'll need to bring Canuck along next mission, as with the close quarters we'll need his experience and (new) ability to cast two powers to keep the likes of Berzerkers at bay. The mission after, of course, you'll be up!

Am I the predator pilot part-time or full-time?

I think it only appears in that one mission in the campaign... We'll say you've been fired on account of your performance, shall we?

Hey I'm a great driver/pilot!
I have references!

I'd better kill some more then just two cultists..

On the other hand, if I don't, I was obviously doing the more important things, like counting our ammo!

 Just Dave wrote:
Next mission the two Tactical Squads will be deploying, alongside the Devastator Squad and Librarian Canuck. Apologies Shrike, but we'll need to bring Canuck along next mission, as with the close quarters we'll need his experience and (new) ability to cast two powers to keep the likes of Berzerkers at bay. The mission after, of course, you'll be up!

Hey, I'm Shrikenius the inept for a reason

 Just Dave wrote:
Have just finished mission 4 and will try to do the report tomorrow. Some highlights/teasers:

THREE people have been awarded the Crux Terminatus (i.e. you can wear terminator armour).

*Crosses fingers*

 Medium of Death wrote:
*Crosses fingers*

I don't think you will be able to do that in terminator armour

 SilverMK2 wrote:
I don't think you will be able to do that in terminator armour

Way more fun without the relevant quote. . .

 kirsanth wrote:

 SilverMK2 wrote:
I don't think you will be able to do that in terminator armour

Way more fun without the relevant quote. . .

let your mind wander...

 shrike wrote:

 kirsanth wrote:

 SilverMK2 wrote:
I don't think you will be able to do that in terminator armour

Way more fun without the relevant quote. . .

let your mind wander...

Buttscratcher?

 Avatar 720 wrote:

 shrike wrote:

 kirsanth wrote:

 SilverMK2 wrote:
I don't think you will be able to do that in terminator armour

Way more fun without the relevant quote. . .

let your mind wander...

Buttscratcher?

So that's what the crozius is for...

No, that's the powerfist.

 Just Dave wrote:
No, that's the powerfist.

oh god, please let's not start with the 40k jokes again...

tee hee... power fist penetrating from the rear...

Hexen did that at least once last mission. Medius also left serious burns...

Hexen did that at least once last mission. Medius also left serious burns...

Did I shoot a heretic with my mind-bullets or what?

 Just Dave wrote:
Hexen did that at least once last mission. Medius also left serious burns...

At least it wasn't a chainfist.

I'll give this battle report to you in chunks, I think (with this post being updated as I add to it), so far:

Mission 5 Battle Report:

The Context:

Deploying from the Thunderhawk, the Ultramarines form a gunline atop a hill, with Silver and Otto Von Swanzstucker III in the centre with their missile launchers, Herius Pertinax on the eastern flank with his Heavy Bolter and the Assault Marines spread throughout, ready to counter-assault any Berzerkers that reach us. Purple the Magnificent V's Predator is deployed slightly to the rear, with Titan and Nominus Terribus alongside him. Kirsanth, starting in the Thunderhawk with the rest of the Devastators jumps up and down in excitement at finding the supplies left there by the techmarines: opening a crate to find a Plasma Cannon (and plenty of ammo) lying within! Gleefully strolling down the ramp of the Thunderhawk with his new weapon in hand, Kirsanth's smile is soon wiped off his face as he's hit - from across the map, before he can even fire his weapon - by a KRAK MISSILE! However, the Marine - "just as planned", in his own words - survives the hit, although his armour is utterly destroyed (needs more gun?).

Purplefood is not quite so lucky, however, as - in what was actually the first shot fired of the mission - his Predator is hit in the front armour by a krak missile, which damages the main gun (Autocannon) and renders it prone to misfiring. Otto and Silver then open fire with their own missile launchers at their Chaos counterparts on the top of the fortress, but both hit the battlements.

Meanwhile, Khorne Berzerkers begin to charge towards the Ultramarine gunlines; praises to the blood god and curses to the Emperor on their lips. Titan fires first, hitting a Berzerker twice, with Vortigern hitting the enemy a further three times before Sergeant Justimus Davimus finishes the job, slaying the foul heretic. Pertinax also opens fire with his traditional Heavy Bolter but uncharacteristically misses his shots. As the Berzerkers continue their charge, the Assault Squad moves forward ready to repel the enemy. And at that moment, something almost magical happens... Maxima Trauma, (now Veteran) Sergeant of the Assault Squad, opens fire with his plasma pistol and not only manages to hit with a ranged weapon, but slays the enemy (although he still missed two of his three shots, but still)! Trauma then hits another Berzerker a further three times, before Isaac Hexen engages the warrior in close combat, crushing him with ease. Nu engages another of the enemy, but is unable to slay him and so drops back into cover before the Librarian, Canuck, slays the enemy in one hit. Medius Ex Decimus opens fire with his Purifier Hand Flamer, hitting another Berzerker twice; setting the enemy on fire and forcing him to flee.

Silver fires at the Missile-armed Word Bearer once more and misses once more, but Otto manages to hit and kill the heavily-armed traitor. Kirsanth then opens fire with his fully charged plasma cannon and obliterates another Word Bearer, who had been standing near the guy Otto just killed. The Predator - as piloted by Purple - tries to add to the barrage of heavy weapons, but his cannon misfires four times, with his two successful shots missing the target.

The remaining Ultramarines continue to force back the Berzerker charge. Terribus opens fire on a Berzerker and hits him once, Vortigen hits him twice, Porkpious (with his pistol) twice also, Titan four times, Davimus three times, and Securim Fulmen once; but the Berzerker still stands! Rasputin, bless 'im, can't even hit him once. Hexen, however, then hits and kills the crazed warrior with his flame pistol, before Canuck kills another Berzerker with his force axe. Justimus Davimus and Titan then fire upon the Berzerker Medius set on fire, both hitting him twice but both unable to kill him. Maximus Porkpious then jumps over, but overshoots his landing and so can only shoot-at and miss the enemy. Medius then also jumps over and finishes the job (he started), crushing the enemy with his powerfist.

Silver and Rasputin both continue to miss some more, but the latter manages to hit a flamer-armed Word Bearer once. Hexen then jumps over and also crushes the enemy with his own powerfist, whilst Otto kills another chaos space marine on the battlements.

With the enemies on the battlements weakened, and the counter-assault comfortably destroyed, the Ultramarines begin their advance. Vortigern, Terribus, Nu and Trauma head west, supported by Hexen, Porkpious and Medius; aiming to clear out the bunker there. Kirsanth and Pertinax then begin to move their heavy weapons east, with their sergeant Securim in support. As they reach the crest of the hill, however, they are fired upon by the enemy: Pertinax faces some bolter fire and mean words, but comes out unhurt. Things for Kirsanth, however, don't go "just as planned" as a Word Bearer hiding behind the battlements hits him with (another) Krak Missile, KILLING KIRSANTH before he knew what happened, or before he could make full use of his swanky new weapon. This may - I'm not sure however - have also been the guy that hit Kirsanth at the very beginning of the mission.

---------- UPDATED ----------

Silver and Otto then load plasma missiles, taking aim at the nasty bugger that just killed Kirsanth, both firing and catching him in their weapon's area of affect: injuring the Word Bearer. Purple too fires at the Chaos Marine, misfiring twice and catching him once; but still not killing him. In addition, Purple gets hit by two more krak missiles, which do no further damage (not that it could exactly make his predator any worse). Securim, however, gravely retrieves (or gleefully steals?) Kirsanth's Plasma Cannon and proceeds to avenge his devastator marine; killing the missile-armed Word Bearer on the battlements.

As they advance on the western flank, Nu find himself stuck in the open, so Medius and Hexen throw smoke grenades to cover him, with Hexen accidentally hitting and hurting Nu!

Meanwhile, Cultists begin to pour from the fortress. Canuck casts Hellfire, killing a Cultist and Word Bearer in the flames: but more importantly engulfs the narrow passageway, preventing the other cultists from exiting. Pertinax then opens fire: slaying two chaos space marines within the fortress, including one armed with a flamer. Silver fires another plasma missile, and not only misses the enemy, but hits Rasputin AND (his esteemed leader) Justimus Davimus; almost killing the former! Otto then fires a plasma missile at a tight-knit group of cultists, killing three and causing the others to flee, with Titan gunning down one of the escapees of the blast. Silver then tries a similar trick against a pair of cultists, killing one.

At the eastern bunker, Canuck fails to cast his psychic powers twice, but Davimus hits the Word Bearer two times whilst Pertinax only manages to hit one out of his five shots! Rasputin then also misses - this particularly lucky - Word Bearer and even is even mocked by the chaos marine in response! Canuck, however, succeeds in setting alight the traitor, before Rasputin shoots him twice in the back. Securim then hits the other chaos marine in the bunker with his plasma cannon, with Pertinax finishing him off whilst Davimus slays another cultist.

Across the map, the assault squad moves up, with Porkpious getting seriously wounded whilst Vortigen shrugs off 4 bolter shots unharmed. Medius, however, activates his jump pack, landing by the western bunker and setting alight one of the chaos space marine's inside, with Otto killing his mate with a krak missile. Trauma then jumps in and hits the flaming Word Bearer once, before Hexen finishes him off. Porkpious and Nu then move in in support. Titan then overwatches (and kills) another cultist, but Porkpious is unable to do the same.

A trio of Khorne Berzerkers appear from the South West, flanking the Ultramarine forces. Terribus, who - with the further-forwards Vortigern - had been supporting the Assault Squad on the western side, prepares to try and fight off the berzerkers by himself. But the enemy goes for a greater prize - rather than the closer Terribus - and instead charge towards the librarian, Canuck. Purple hits one of these berzerkers four times with his tank's twin-linked bolter, with Otto hitting another with a krak missile, whilst Silver kills one with his own missile. Canuck then sets alight the two remaining Berzerkers, with one unfortunate bugger being hit twice and dying. Terribus hits the remaining berzerker twice in the back, but he lives, as Pertinax hits him a further four times with his heavy bolter, before Canuck then shoots him twice with his bolt pistol: finishing the warrior he so kindly set on fire.

Medius Ex Decimus then jumps in-front of the main battlements, peeping over the wall to say hi to the chaos space marine situated a few feet away on the other side, proceeding to set the heretic on fire (although he did miss his first shot against the enemy just in front of him). Nu then shoots the Word Bearer twice with his plasma pistol, before Hexen crushes him with his powerfist. Porkpious then obliterates a cultist with his own powerfist - clearly pissed at having to wait until now for his first kill - before jumping over to the other side and killing the chaos marine Canuck had just set on fire (Porkpious would then proceed to search some crates in the fortress, finding a pair of rad grenades)!

On the eastern flank, a squad of chaos marines appears behind us: emerging from the SE (our original deployment zone). Otto overwatches a chaos space marine with his missile launcher, before Davimus finishes him off. Canuck then casts hellfire on the remaining chaos marines, catching all three and setting alight the one armed with the plasma gun, who Rasputin then shoots twice, but gets mocked by the enemy (AGAIN!), told "you fire as poorly as all who serve the Emperor" (beloved by all). Otto and Silver then both miss easy shots with their missile launchers, before Securim hits a chaos marine who Pertinax finishes off. Nu shoots another chaos marine, before he and Otto both get hit by grenades, but come out OK. Terribus then runs after the enemy, out of range but eager to get his first kill. Justimus Davimus then kills another chaos marine and hits the flaming plasmagun dude once, who Purple then opens fire upon and misses A LOT. Otto also misses the marine with the plasma gun, who Rasputin then kills - slaying the blighter who had mocked his aim.

Fulfilling the mission objective - and earning the Imperial Laurel - Trauma blows down the fortresses gate with a meltabomb. He then plasma grenades the two Chaos Marines waiting behind it, with Vortigen finishing one, and Titan the other.

Back with the main force, however, another squad of chaos space marines appears behind us; somehow getting past Purple - who was SUPPOSED to be our rearguard - unnoticed. To make matters worse, these new chaos marines ambush and KILL RASPUTIN! Davimus and Otto fail to avenge their battle brother, both missing easy shots, before Silver and Securim both hit with their heavy weapons, whilst Davimus and Terribus both hit once. Trauma and Nu - the only members of the assault squad with any fuel left - then jump over to help their brothers, with Trauma slaying one of the heretics whilst Nu throws (rather than gets hit by this time) a smoke grenade to cover the Ultramarines.

Pertinax is wounded by the enemy, whilst Trauma gets hit - but unhurt - by a grenade, with Purple also opening fire and missing a lot (again). Nu then jumps in with the last of his fuel and guts one of the traitors, whilst Terribus tries and fails to kill the last enemy, who Trauma then jumps over and kills.

Kill Roster and Awards:

1) Isaac Hexen: 2 CSMs, 1 Aspiring Champion, 2 Berzerkers. Awarded Crux Terminatus.
2) Canuck: 1 CSM, 4 Berzerkers, 1 Cultist. Promoted to level 2 (given psychic power: quickening), awarded Marksman honour.
3) Herius Pertinax: 4 CSMs.
4) Justimus Davimus: 2 CSMs, 1 Berzerker, 2 Cultists. Awarded Crux Terminatus.
5) Otto Von Swanzstucker: 2 CSMs, 3 Cultists. Awarded Crux Terminatus and Purity Seal.
6) Maxima Trauma: 2 CSMs, 1 Berzerker. Awarded Imperial Laurel.
7) Titan: 1 CSM, 2 Cultists.
8) Silver: 1 Berzerker, 1 Cultist.
9) Maximus Porkpious: 1 CSM, 1 Cultist.
10) Medius Ex Decimus: 1 Berzerker.
=11) Nu: 1 CSM. Promoted to Veteran.
=11) Securim Fulmen: 1 CSM. Promoted to Veteran.
=11) Vortigern: 1 CSM.
=11) Rasputin: Died. 1 CSM. Would have otherwise been promoted to Veteran!
=11) Kirsanth: Died. 1 CSM.
=16) Nominus Terribus: No kills
=16) Purple the Magnificent: No kills

Man of the Match award goes to Canuck: for getting the most overall kills, consistently besting 'zerkers in combat, and setting a whole lot of enemies on fire; proving the deadliness of librarians. However, the vast majority of you were reliably deadly and/or accurate throughout the mission - good job guys!. Trauma gets a honourable mention, for coming a long way since his (fairly shocking, to be fair) start: slaying 3 enemies, a 77% hit rate in combat, leading his squad well and helping out all over the map.
Most Dakka award goes to Otto, for an impressive 81% hit-rate! Vortigern and Titan were second and third, with 58 and 57%, respectively. Technically, Kirsanth had a 100% hit (and kill) rate, but as he only fired one shot, I'm discounting it... Medius had a 100% hit rate at range and in close combat (although he had a flamer for the former, and only made two attacks for the latter), so Hexen wins the close-combat award with a staggering 90% hit rate in close combat, with 5-times as many attacks!
The Wooden Bullet award goes to Silver, for three reasons: 1) for being consistently shown-up by his comrade, Otto (who he'd been sitting beside), throughout the mission, 2) for hitting his commanding officer and wounding Rasputin, 3) for seeming to want wooden bullets! Rasputin and Purple are honourable mentions, however. The former for the lowest hit rate, being mocked by the enemy, and dying; and the latter for failing to get a single kill despite having the Predator.

Woo hoo! Got two of 'em. Take that World Eater scum!

I HIT SOMETHING! All praise the emperor!

I think Kirsanth got the "I AM INVINCIBUL!" medal

Also, I properly exploded a heretic. This makes me happy.