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 Iur_tae_mont wrote:

That's not really the problem though. I'm cool with that, but when you throw down that you're going to do a lot to help a friend start a new business and just kinda drop off the face of the planet while the rest of us not only do what we said we would, but have to cover for you, you lose some serious credibility with me. FLGS owner took a big risk and after he was promised the moon, flaky friend, who is the reason I met and therefore befriended new FLGS owner, doesn't even try to a fraction of what he promised. You don't do that man.

Yeah I tend to tie up loose ends with the old group first.

 Avatar 720 wrote:

 sebster wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
I think it might also be a girl, Why else would he be willing to blow me off so frequently and make a fool of himself dancing ZUMBA

If he's willing to dance Zumba, it's either for a girl, or because he's a total spanker.

If it's the former, you just are not going to win the battle for attention. If its the latter, let him go, because he willingly dances Zumba.

He can dance if he wants to.

He can leave his friends behind.

Because his friends don't dance and if they don't well they're no friends of mine!


.

This seriously made me lol, well done sir. Exalted

Hotsauce: One of the most difficult things to do is give up a long time friend. I am going through this myself, losing a friend of nearly 10 years because of his drinking (and associated behavior). With me it was different only in that instead of flaking on me, he was drunk all the time, would want to go have a night at the track, he's drunk so cant go. Want to go out and see a movie, or work on a car, or any of the things we always did, he's drunk in the middle of the day. Keep in mind this guy was like a brother to me, I was his best man, I saw his kid before his mom did, and I made the decision to walk away from our friendship roughly 3 months ago, after giving the option to help him deal with his drinking and being advised of which was more important. And honestly man: it was the most difficult thing I have done in my adult life, but now that there has been some time I feel that my life as a whole has become more positive and I am better off for it. I guess the moral of my story here is: It will be difficult, but once you realize how much you let your friend's decisions bother you, you find that moving on from that lifts a ton of stress from your shoulders and you will be a happier person in the end. Just my 2 cents but from my experience what Frazz said: Life is too short.

Dude, just break up with him.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
I think it might also be a girl, Why else would he be willing to blow me off so frequently and make a fool of himself dancing ZUMBA

If said possible girl is like some Zumba chicks I know, feel lucky you get to have two words with him let alone a couple hours.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=P-wTImrdrN0&feature=related

He's just not that into you...

Besides, you find as you get older that friends don't last forever, they come and go into your life all the time, but its more noticeible once school ends because you don't see so many of them. I've had five or six sets of friends so far, and I miss them sometimes, but the new ones are just as valuable.

 Avatar 720 wrote:

Huh, the video's apparently not available in my country.

 Jihadin wrote:
Hotsauce....as your Uncle Sargie Wilki that's on top your food chain. Just give him a breather a bit. He might actually be going through one of those phases on "what am I to do short term goal" type of thought process. Unless you think he's like a serious depression then best invite him over for a few beers and grill time. Or he might actually be hung up on a female either in thought or in action

I dont think he is depressed, he has a full time job right now. Although alot of his friends are getting married so he may feel sad. He constantly feels the need to find a GF and get married despite being 21. It may also be he feels he has no career opprotunities because he doesnt do well in school.

 Avatar 720 wrote:
He can dance if he wants to.

He can leave his friends behind.

Because his friends don't dance and if they don't well they're no friends of mine!

I think I love you.

 sebster wrote:


I think I love you.

Don't worry, take some anti-biotics and that'll pass.

Call him again and make plans. If he breaks the plans, call him on a different day and make plans. If he breaks again, call him on a third day and make plans. If he breaks those plans wait for him to call and make plans. If he doesn't call move on and get new friends.

Use his soul as a sacrifice to summon the ones that sleep in space. They shall come and give you unlimited power where you will become the most popular of all people (as long as you occasionally sacrifice mortals to your gibbering blobs of trans-dimensional eldricht abomination buddies).

In all seriousness though, I understand that frustration. I've had a ton of friends that have been almost always late, never call me nor try to speak to me (several of them responding fondly to my name when hearing it elsewhere or when seeing them in person oddly enough), friends that seem to forget you exist, friends that are always busy and too distracted to pay you head. It hurts and sometimes you are unable to give up. Because sometimes it is hard to make friends. Sometimes it is heard to open your heart up to somebody knowing eventually they will fade away leaving only memories that will soon after join in the transit of time.

Anyways, at that point, I'm not sure the best answer as I have some problems with friendships (connected to my greatest fear) but I'd argue the best choice is to simply either cut off the relationship, wait for them to say hi, or to just shrug off it. Cutting off the relationship will be hard. But if you do so, you won't have to feel like you are being shunned and ignored all the time flaked every last time. Yet this is hard especially when a childhood friend. So a second tip. Simply don't send messages. If he wants to see you, let him say hi. It might let him relax or cool his mind to talk back. And if he doesn't, well that means he doesn't care enough about you... and if he won't even try to say hi and ask how you are, why bother with him? He becomes more of a constant disappointment in your life that you keep on waiting for yet he will so frequently not even come. And the final one is simply to focus on making new friends whilst occasionally sending a message to hang out expecting him to flake. Then when he doesn't, you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Sorry this probably didn't help. Just wanted to try at the very least. Have a good day and good luck.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
He constantly feels the need to find a GF and get married despite being 21.

That could also be because he's fething mormon!! Seriously, if you look into that particular sect of religiousity, it's loony the things they believe (if they're "good" mormons that is)



Personally, if I were you, I'd still go to the movie theater on the day you were supposed to go together, watch the movie either way, and then if he asks about it, gloat about how awesome the movie was. Though, in all probability, you may be better off finding other friends elsewhere (surely theres more people at the FLGS that you could get on with?), and either move on and "wait" for him to come back, or just move on and forget about him.

"You are a strong confident independent woman".

"If you love him set him free".

"it doesn't matter if you are on a break".

That's about all the relationship advice I can remember from Friends, hope it helps.

He has never invited me anywhere to hang out with his friends, but I have invited him.

He's not a friend. He's someone you used to be friends with and you don't realize it yet. Move on.

Dude, what these guys are saying (except the assorted murder plots) is pretty true. I hung out with a friend from 6th grade til a good few years after high school, and then, over time we started talking less and less. And though I made attempts every so often to keep in contact with someone who had been my best friend for over 10 years, he didn't reciprocate so, as hard as it was to just let it go, it was just as hard to send a text I knew I wasn't going to get a response to. Lives change, for good or for ill, people come and go. Over time, I've come across other dudes to hang out with, though there isn't quite that familiar comfortability of someone you've known for a decade+, but its a start...

Hope this was something useful, potentially encouraging, it sucks, but the world keeps spinning without that guy disappointing you daily.

-CotW

Tell Elder Douchebag that you don't want to be friends with him anymore because he's an unreliable flake. Then if he contests this, put on your commissar's outfit and execute him for cowardice.


Edit: For what it's worth, long time friends don't have to be people you see or talk to every day. One of my friends since the 2nd grade is someone I talk to maybe once a month. The last time we talked, I had a ticket to a baseball game down the road from his house. We talked, bs'd about work, and had a beer. That was about a month ago...

One of my friend's belittled my hobbies(alot,very very bad, no furthur elaboration). We have been friends since 2nd grade. In normal circumstances, he would no longer be my friend. He just lost a game of risk though(to a pink formation that looks like a common form of vandilism drawn by males no less) so I let it slide.

This friend always acts like TFG when he loses, he is so darn charasmatic that he can kill you with the other 4 guys with a few sentences, and he once managed to get ASIA and australia, while people where still killing me in Africa at his command.

If we are playing a video game, I always try to get killed through "unlucky" stuff- getting in the way of green shells, having lucario's dodge get hit by a minor attack before a super smash, all that stuff.

Now he sounds sort of bad, but this guy is the nicest, most helpful person you could know as long as your not competing against him.

He is still a donkey cave.

Ask him to do something you would both like, when he flakes out pull him up on it and the pattern you've seen lately.

I say let him be. If you are important to him then after a week or so he'l give you a ring to see what your at and if your ok. If not, well then you know where you stand.

The next time you see each other just be polite. Then go your seperate ways in life.

I just talked to him, he apparently felt really bad about skipping. And he also felt like crud from working(I guess it was the heavy lifting) and didnt tell me for some reason.

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
I just talked to him, he apparently felt really bad about skipping. And he also felt like crud from working(I guess it was the heavy lifting) and didnt tell me for some reason.

Gonna be brutally honest here mate, that sounds like absolute horse poop... If he were really a good friend towards you, he woulda said straight up that he felt bad from work the very day/night it happened, not later on when you're bringing it up.

Hotsauceman:

If the dude is clueless, when you get a cancel say this: "Since it looks like you are trying to work things out, how about you call me _____ with a time we can do _____."

I found when I made the person get back to me with a due date, it made it clear they were either too messed up to count on or they have interests elsewhere if they do not follow up.

Always make your own plans when they do not get back to you at the time specified, you need to get on with your life and make it clear to them you have better things to do with your time.

I still try to include the less reliable friends in things but I do not let the plans hinge on them.

Usually I find us guys do not like to bring "closure" to any relationship and fall back on plain old avoidance.

<<edit>> I guess I am trying to say that being a doormat to others get you treated that way, value your time and they may in turn. Some healthy "sorry, I made plans" lets the person know you are a person of value and worth and will not be waiting at all times for them (works with the wife and girlfriends too...).