Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

What do I do with a player that has ruined the last 2 Apoc games I have played with him. One of them was 8K\side, we sat aside an entire Saturday to play. He thru a fit during turn 3 because I had Epidemius with the old rules and called the game. I gave him a second chance, but the last game he bitched and moaned thru an entire 8 hour game. I would rather pull a hemroid out of my a ss than go thru that again. The thing is, he keeps calling me. Constantly..... I set my phone to forward his number to an over 19 porn shop downtown lol. But I don't want to be mean, but I also can't play him again......

Have you tried talking to him? Explaining to him like a grown person what you have problems with regarding his attitude? Have you told him you don't plan to play with him unless he changes for the better?

The answer to every single one of these threads that appears is to act like a mature individual and speak to them in a calm, professional manner. Explain yourself and ask that they stop/change/modify their behaviour. If they don't, simply don't play them. Be polite and don't be an fethhead in return.

So simple. People aren't complicated or overly difficult to deal with in most situations.

 Blacksails wrote:
Have you tried talking to him? Explaining to him like a grown person what you have problems with regarding his attitude? Have you told him you don't plan to play with him unless he changes for the better?

The answer to every single one of these threads that appears is to act like a mature individual and speak to them in a calm, professional manner. Explain yourself and ask that they stop/change/modify their behaviour. If they don't, simply don't play them. Be polite and don't be an fethhead in return.

So simple. People aren't complicated or overly difficult to deal with in most situations.

Yes, I did. I had a face to face discussion with him. The last Apoc game was after that discussion.
It just goes in one ear and right out the other. He is not going to change.

1. Tell him that you don't enjoy playing with him because of his attitude.
2. Tell him that if it continues you won't play him any more.
3. Play smaller games with him to see if it improves.
4. If not, tell him you just aren't interested in playing with him anymore.

Our D&D group has played nearly every Tuesday since 2001. In that time, we've had to kick 2 people out for their behavior. In both cases, the GM had pulled them aside and talked to them about it, to no avail. Give them a chance, but don't waste your time if they refuse to behave.

My gaming time is very limited and I won't waste it on selfish or negative people.

Edit: Just saw your follow up post. So you've told him that he's too negative and he continues to be that way? That's it, then. You gave him a chance. Don't invite him to your apocalypse events and other games and just move on.

dlight wrote:

 Blacksails wrote:
Have you tried talking to him? Explaining to him like a grown person what you have problems with regarding his attitude? Have you told him you don't plan to play with him unless he changes for the better?

The answer to every single one of these threads that appears is to act like a mature individual and speak to them in a calm, professional manner. Explain yourself and ask that they stop/change/modify their behaviour. If they don't, simply don't play them. Be polite and don't be an fethhead in return.

So simple. People aren't complicated or overly difficult to deal with in most situations.

Yes, I did. I had a face to face discussion with him. The last Apoc game was after that discussion.
It just goes in one ear and right out the other. He is not going to change.

Then don't play with him. Kronk basically has the same idea on how I deal with people. Some people will listen and change, others won't. Don't waste your time on those who won't change and ruin your gaming time. Don't be a dick about, but politely refuse to play games with him.

 kronk wrote:
1. Tell him that you don't enjoy playing with him because of his attitude.
2. Tell him that if it continues you won't play him any more.
3. Play smaller games with him to see if it improves.
4. If not, tell him you just aren't interested in playing with him anymore.

Our D&D group has played nearly every Tuesday since 2001. In that time, we've had to kick 2 people out for their behavior. In both cases, the GM had pulled them aside and talked to them about it, to no avail. Give them a chance, but don't waste your time if they refuse to behave.

My gaming time is very limited and I won't waste it on selfish or negative people.

Edit: Just saw your follow up post. So you've told him that he's too negative and he continues to be that way? That's it, then. You gave him a chance. Don't invite him to your apocalypse events and other games and just move on.

That was my conclusion as well. I am just done with him at this point.

But, I wonder what he thinks when he calls me and gets the porn shop. lol Do you think he will get the message?

Kronk smart..do as kronk say!

And life is to short to waste on stupid people..or annoying people..or boring people, or pretty much people

dlight wrote:


But, I wonder what he thinks when he calls me and gets the porn shop. lol Do you think he will get the message?

That was rather childish, actually. Funny, but childish.

I wouldn't even bring it up, but if he does, just say that he was calling you way to often and not taking the hint.

Here is an odd question, what is the age difference between the both of you? Is he much younger, thus immature or is he WAY too old to be complaining like a child. You have to understand, most people that play table top games are not always socially comfortable. Perhaps he wants to seem cool and thus acts a certian way that others would like. He could be so competitive that losing a game is too much for his little ego. Or simply put he is just a dick like the rest of us, hahaaa.

Either way if you were clear, calm, and assertive then he will get the hint. I do understand the need to let your opinion known without hurting someone's feelings. I have to beleive that if this is the way he acts with you, then that is how he acts all the time, smaller games will change nothing.

To put into perspective, I attended a seminar with an art director from EA Quebec I believe, she told us there is a programmer who has been working for EA for nearly 30 years, he is the best by far. But....he can only talk to people using a hand puppet(no bs, this is what she said). So understand that some people will not change, and the choice to spend time with them ultimately rests on you.

Do not feel badly, but I would also stop forwarding his calls to a porno shop. If it is a problem tell him not call you anymore. That's all that can be done really.

Sometimes you have to be an ass whether you want to or not. Some people just dont get it unless you piss them off a little.

I have a friend that i told in very colorful words to not ask me for 40k games. He drives me nuts with his false coversave nazi crap and complaints of never passing 3+ rolls. However hes one of my preferred warmahorde opponents, its just 40k i cant stand him in. I havnt faced him in 40k in eons cuz he knows i wont tolerate him in it anymore

Musselman wrote:
Here is an odd question, what is the age difference between the both of you? Is he much younger, thus immature or is he WAY too old to be complaining like a child. You have to understand, most people that play table top games are not always socially comfortable. Perhaps he wants to seem cool and thus acts a certian way that others would like. He could be so competitive that losing a game is too much for his little ego. Or simply put he is just a dick like the rest of us, hahaaa.

Either way if you were clear, calm, and assertive then he will get the hint. I do understand the need to let your opinion known without hurting someone's feelings. I have to beleive that if this is the way he acts with you, then that is how he acts all the time, smaller games will change nothing.

To put into perspective, I attended a seminar with an art director from EA Quebec I believe, she told us there is a programmer who has been working for EA for nearly 30 years, he is the best by far. But....he can only talk to people using a hand puppet(no bs, this is what she said). So understand that some people will not change, and the choice to spend time with them ultimately rests on you.

Do not feel badly, but I would also stop forwarding his calls to a porno shop. If it is a problem tell him not call you anymore. That's all that can be done really.

I am in my mid 30's he is in his mid 40's. He does this same stuff in smaller games as well.

I think I am going to leave the call forwarding on. I find it hilarious and appropriate considering the pain he put me thru.

This guy is an immature and you've found the correct solution of never interacting with him again.

However, you should consider the fact that you're not entirely blameless here, insisting on using the old (and incredibly overpowered at that scale) rules for a character isn't really good behavior.

Just out of curiosity, and to play devil's advocate a little, why are you using the old rules for Epidemius (trick question, the old rules were so much better!)? Is this sort of thing something your gaming group is aware of and okay with? If so, then he should just get over it or find another group.

I could see where someone could get annoyed if another player was picking and choosing which rules to use across different versions of an army's codex. However, it doesn't make sense that he keeps wanting to play more games with the same people that upset him.

 Peregrine wrote:
This guy is an immature and you've found the correct solution of never interacting with him again.

However, you should consider the fact that you're not entirely blameless here, insisting on using the old (and incredibly overpowered at that scale) rules for a character isn't really good behavior.

Actually, that Apoc game happened right before the new Daemon codex came out. The new Daemon book hasn't been out that long.

The most recent Apoc game with him happened about a month ago.

Nothing in the world says other people have to like you . You say he was whining through and 8 hours game and that all of it was directed at you. Do you know if he would still whine if you were not there ? If no , then it looks like neither of you two should be playing in the same location outside of tournaments maybe.

He was whining (and b1tching) the entire 8 hours at me, because it was just me and him playing.

And I agree, I won't play him again outside of a tournament. It's just, he keeps calling me, and calling me, and even showed up at my house 1 week ago.

The auto forwarding his calls to a porn shop was designed to give him the hint. I was also going to send him a letter, but I would rather not.

I teach adults for a living and I think the best thing you can do is have a "come to Jesus (or whatever deity you follow)" conversation with him. Be very clear that you come expecting to play a good, competitive game and he is not living up to that expectation because he does X, Y, Z. By doing those things, you do not enjoy the game and feel compelled not to play with him. Let him know you will play one more game with him and, if he does X, Y, or Z again you are done.

The trick to it is being clear with what you expect and the exact behaviors that are turning you off. Dont be a about it, but be honest and ensure that your tone reflects the gravity of the message you are trying to deliver.

Good luck with it!

I have already been down the "give a second chance" road with him. He is not going to change.

Most of the other gamers in the local area have similar feedback about him. Last tournament he was rated 1 by a few people in sportsmanship. It basically comes down to if the game doesn't go his way, he throws a hissy fit.

My final decision is I am done with him, and will leave the auto forward to porn shop on my phone. Mostly for the LOL factor, but also because he deserves it for wasting a bunch of my time and being ignorant & rude.

The Boy Scouts have a saying: "The only thing worse than one scout fallen through the ice is two scouts fallen through the ice". The moral is that you shouldn't let your desire to save someone result in nothing more than merely increasing the casualty count.

I'm not saying the person in question can't be "saved", but it's probably best if you leave the rescuing to professionals. If you want to keep trying to make things work, then fine, but just make sure you don't get sucked in yourself.

If you don't feel you can handle a project of this magnitude without it driving you crazy or ruining your ability to be sociable with other people, then it's best to cut yourself off entirely, rather than to give even the faintest hint of false hope.

Because THAT'S what's mean.

I can't handle a project of this magnitutde. I have my own problems and a family to raise, and I don't think he could be saved anyway.

He is on his own, and I will not contact him again. Like a bad relationship, I should have cut it off a long time ago.

 Ailaros wrote:
The Boy Scouts have a saying: "The only thing worse than one scout fallen through the ice is two scouts fallen through the ice". The moral is that you shouldn't let your desire to save someone result in nothing more than merely increasing the casualty count.

I'm not saying the person in question can't be "saved", but it's probably best if you leave the rescuing to professionals. If you want to keep trying to make things work, then fine, but just make sure you don't get sucked in yourself.

If you don't feel you can handle a project of this magnitude without it driving you crazy or ruining your ability to be sociable with other people, then it's best to cut yourself off entirely, rather than to give even the faintest hint of false hope.

Because THAT'S what's mean.

Isn't the moral of that saying that you shouldn't rush blindly to save your mate, but rather think it through calmly and set up a plan... or something?
I have a hard time seeing the boyscouts with a saying that basically means "leave him behind or he'll drag you down."

But, I am not a boy scout. And don't want to be.

I have tried to save him, and it didn't work out. And it won't work out.

So, he is on his own now. I guess he can call me and talk to the porn shop operator if he gets lonely.....

I'd say if you've given him his chances, and also were direct about what was causing the problems, you are more than justified in putting him down and moving on. There's no point in wasting time over it.

dlight wrote:

 Peregrine wrote:
This guy is an immature and you've found the correct solution of never interacting with him again.

However, you should consider the fact that you're not entirely blameless here, insisting on using the old (and incredibly overpowered at that scale) rules for a character isn't really good behavior.

Actually, that Apoc game happened right before the new Daemon codex came out. The new Daemon book hasn't been out that long.

The most recent Apoc game with him happened about a month ago.

I was going to ask this as well, but since it happened before the new Dex dropped then fair enough. Just don't play the guy then.

dlight wrote:

 Peregrine wrote:
This guy is an immature and you've found the correct solution of never interacting with him again.

However, you should consider the fact that you're not entirely blameless here, insisting on using the old (and incredibly overpowered at that scale) rules for a character isn't really good behavior.

Actually, that Apoc game happened right before the new Daemon codex came out. The new Daemon book hasn't been out that long.

The most recent Apoc game with him happened about a month ago.

Oh, so it was prior to the new dex....then what the heck was he complaining about? I guess you can consider yourself lucky to have only played him twice in the last 6 months. Guy seems to be stalker-ish with the picture that's being painted, so you might want to be careful with how you break things off.