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 conker249 wrote:
I was in the middle of a match and during that night Heroclix was sharing the room with us. the local heroclix players are very loud and GUO's are abundant. Anyway, this one lady takes her 2 year old and starts changing her Nurgling's diaper on the game table right behind us. Stunk so bad. She didnt want to walk and get the restroom key 20 ft away.

You are ruining my faith in humanity :(

 Desubot wrote:

 conker249 wrote:
I was in the middle of a match and during that night Heroclix was sharing the room with us. the local heroclix players are very loud and GUO's are abundant. Anyway, this one lady takes her 2 year old and starts changing her Nurgling's diaper on the game table right behind us. Stunk so bad. She didnt want to walk and get the restroom key 20 ft away.

You are ruining my faith in humanity :(

The fact that you still had faith in humanity makes me question how long you've been in this hobby sir.

 MrMoustaffa wrote:

 Desubot wrote:

 conker249 wrote:
I was in the middle of a match and during that night Heroclix was sharing the room with us. the local heroclix players are very loud and GUO's are abundant. Anyway, this one lady takes her 2 year old and starts changing her Nurgling's diaper on the game table right behind us. Stunk so bad. She didnt want to walk and get the restroom key 20 ft away.

You are ruining my faith in humanity :(

The fact that you still had faith in humanity makes me question how long you've been in this hobby sir.

I was thinking more along the lines of how you`ve managed to avoid the internet all this time? That place takes away your faith in humanity almost instantly.

 Desubot wrote:

 conker249 wrote:
I was in the middle of a match and during that night Heroclix was sharing the room with us. the local heroclix players are very loud and GUO's are abundant. Anyway, this one lady takes her 2 year old and starts changing her Nurgling's diaper on the game table right behind us. Stunk so bad. She didnt want to walk and get the restroom key 20 ft away.

You are ruining my faith in humanity :(

My faith in humanity was lost long ago. But there is still a little of this left because people still haven't sunk low enough.

Back on topic, I would have said something to the lady because changing a dirty diaper on tables people use, right next to other people, is most definitely a health hazard.

Don't really have any great gaming awkwardness stories from my area, we're all pretty civil and adjusted players by and large. I even feel kinda bad for posting this because the guy in question isn't a bad person.

I was at a Dystopian Wars tournament, doling quite well for myself and seeded 2nd. The guy coming first was a bit of a power gamer type with whom we had had problems at our club before, but he wasn't really a bad guy, just a bit of a WAAC gamer. Anyway I played him in the last round and beat him quite badly, so much so that he went from 1st to 3rd. He complained about his fleet and the scenario and his rolling a bit, but also admitted I outplayed him and I let it go because I don't take losing as well as I should either.

Anyway time came for prize giving and when they gave out the best sportsman prize it went to the guy who usually gets it in our DW tournament scene. he's a great guy, joy to play, good friend of mine, beautiful painter but generally has absolutely rotten luck and doesn't win much, so he usually gets the sportsman prize. When that happened the guy I beat for 1st started complaining that the other guy always won sportsman and that someone else should get it.

Bit uncalled for IMHO, as I think people who are pleasant and play in the spirit of the game should get as much recognition as the winners.

I wonder if this is a thread to dig out stories about Jordan, drinker of the enchanted blue paint, or the dakkanaught who was attacked because he beat his opponents undefeated termie chaos lord or the time when someone had a BLOODY good time adjusting his man parts in store, or the man who thought toilets were too mainstream during a games day or golden demon or something.

How has no-one posted this treasure trove yet?
http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/254849.page

 DukeBadham wrote:
I wonder if this is a thread to dig out stories about Jordan, drinker of the enchanted blue paint, or the dakkanaught who was attacked because he beat his opponents undefeated termie chaos lord or the time when someone had a BLOODY good time adjusting his man parts in store, or the man who thought toilets were too mainstream during a games day or golden demon or something.

The best one was the guy who had a bunch of gak broken by a kid, and the mother arrived at his house later to 'repay' him for the damages.

Ironwill13791 wrote:
Back on topic, I would have said something to the lady because changing a dirty diaper on tables people use, right next to other people, is most definitely a health hazard.

I just think it's downright rude, but then there are those mothers that have the 'I have a baby I can do whatever gak I like and you deserve to die if you call me up on anything unpleasant BECAUSE I WENT THROUGH THE PAIN OF CHILDBIRTH RAAAAARGGHGHGH!!!!' attitude...

I mean, regardless of what table it is (gaming, display, dining, even coffee) it's just not civilised to whip out the pampers and change a baby in the middle of any public enclosed space (and I've seen someone change a baby on top of a pile of clothes in Primark)... I mean even if there is no dedicated baby changing thing in the store, I'm sure that asking the staff nicely would allow you access to a back office or something more appropriate for doing that sort of thing in.

Is it wierd that I genuinely don't have any awkward gaming experiences to contribute? Or should I just quietly thank the dice gods that of all the gamers I've met they have generally been pleasant, mentally sound and hygenic individuals, that could quite easily function in the outside world.

 -Loki- wrote:

 DukeBadham wrote:
I wonder if this is a thread to dig out stories about Jordan, drinker of the enchanted blue paint, or the dakkanaught who was attacked because he beat his opponents undefeated termie chaos lord or the time when someone had a BLOODY good time adjusting his man parts in store, or the man who thought toilets were too mainstream during a games day or golden demon or something.

The best one was the guy who had a bunch of gak broken by a kid, and the mother arrived at his house later to 'repay' him for the damages.

I don't think I heard this one yet, and I've enjoyed many a thread that would contain it. Please share, as I get the feeling this story has a chance to be quite interesting.

 timetowaste85 wrote:

 -Loki- wrote:

 DukeBadham wrote:
I wonder if this is a thread to dig out stories about Jordan, drinker of the enchanted blue paint, or the dakkanaught who was attacked because he beat his opponents undefeated termie chaos lord or the time when someone had a BLOODY good time adjusting his man parts in store, or the man who thought toilets were too mainstream during a games day or golden demon or something.

The best one was the guy who had a bunch of gak broken by a kid, and the mother arrived at his house later to 'repay' him for the damages.

I don't think I heard this one yet, and I've enjoyed many a thread that would contain it. Please share, as I get the feeling this story has a chance to be quite interesting.

If I'm thinking about the same story it was that a kid broke a guys models and his mother repaid the guy for the damages. Then another user suggested that the repayment was not made in currency, and that became a thing.

The closest I ever came to an Awkward gaming experience was a few years ago I was at a local tournament and I was talking to a fellow player about a nearby army (fully converted chaos mechanicus army with a Reaver titan counts-as defiler), then I realized my fellow was of the fairer sex, and being a 15 year old war-gamer from an all-boys school I had no experience with women.

Fortunately before it got awkward (due to my social ineptitude) I saw she also played Bretonnians like me (the tourney had 40k and fantasy leagues at the same time) so I was distracted by the lovely paint job on her almost all knight army, so I forgot the gender of said bret player, and we just discussed brets till the tourney started.

Playing in a team tournament. Tournament is billed as "Bring your hardest legal ally team list--competitive"
Bring a flying wing of doom
2nd round (somehow they were winners bracket?)---play a Father/Son team that is just two battleforce army lists
I unloaded troopers in front of the kids stuff just so he could assault/roll some dice---dad insists we "Not take it easy, play hard"
Want to take it easy--but really can't just elect "To not shoot". Table them turn 4.
Entire game, dad is berating son when he has innocent suggestions on their turn (A little older than my son) and is generally pretty grumpy

Worst 40k game of my life--and I've been tabled by old 4th Ed. hyper-competitive 4 Heavies of Doom Iron Warrior player.

The majority of these posts are great albeit horrible, ha! Keep them coming Dakkanauts.

Yeah, this thread is pretty good at convincing me to get up in the morning.

 DukeBadham wrote:
Jordan, drinker of the enchanted blue paint

The greatest tale known to Dakkakind...

 Gutsnagga wrote:

 DukeBadham wrote:
Jordan, drinker of the enchanted blue paint

The greatest tale known to Dakkakind...

Please fellow veterans, please do tell this tale. I'm very curious.

 TheDraconicLord wrote:

 Gutsnagga wrote:

 DukeBadham wrote:
Jordan, drinker of the enchanted blue paint

The greatest tale known to Dakkakind...

Please fellow veterans, please do tell this tale. I'm very curious.

Oh yes, that is crazy funny. A kid was asked to leave a GW store for some reason IIRC and he got pissed, ran to the painting table, grabbed a pot of enchanted blue, opened it and took a tossing stance and staff and costumers started backing down, like "don't throw it".

He did not throw it, but drank the whole pot and ran out of the store laughing. When he got out he started vomiting blue, and his mother had to pick him up. That's something I wish I'd seen myself.

Then there was the greatest battle report of all time

The Battle Report Master wrote:
i had a freind come round a few weeks ago to have a 40k apocalpocalpse game i was guards men he was space maines.... my first turn was 4 bonbaonbardlements... jacobs turn to he didnt have one i phased out.

...Beautiful.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
Then there was the greatest battle report of all time

The Battle Report Master wrote:
i had a freind come round a few weeks ago to have a 40k apocalpocalpse game i was guards men he was space maines.... my first turn was 4 bonbaonbardlements... jacobs turn to he didnt have one i phased out.

...Beautiful.

Oh yes, I do remember that one. That was hilarious.

 DukeBadham wrote:
The closest I ever came to an Awkward gaming experience was a few years ago I was at a local tournament and I was talking to a fellow player about a nearby army (fully converted chaos mechanicus army with a Reaver titan counts-as defiler), then I realized my fellow was of the fairer sex, and being a 15 year old war-gamer from an all-boys school I had no experience with women.

Fortunately before it got awkward (due to my social ineptitude) I saw she also played Bretonnians like me (the tourney had 40k and fantasy leagues at the same time) so I was distracted by the lovely paint job on her almost all knight army, so I forgot the gender of said bret player, and we just discussed brets till the tourney started.

Wait what? You seriously mean this! What a sorry place you must have lived then. Or are the school system just that backwards and somewhat old fashioned? Pure comedy gold this thread btw

bonbaonbardlements

You have no idea how entertaining I found this way of spelling bombardments, fortunately I was able to stop myself laughing loudly in the office.

I will now forever use 'bonbaonbardlements' when discussing them...

 TheDraconicLord wrote:

 Gutsnagga wrote:

 DukeBadham wrote:
Jordan, drinker of the enchanted blue paint

The greatest tale known to Dakkakind...

Please fellow veterans, please do tell this tale. I'm very curious.

Found a version of it, I think its the original

miraclefish wrote:There was a lad called Jordan who played when I first got into GW about 12 years ago. He was the archetypal Annoying Game Store Child.

He ran around, barely painted his models, picked up and broke other peoples' and kicked off when his Space Wolves didn't win everything.

After a while, when he broke a nice, kind customer's Leman Russ tank by dropping it, the staff told him he was banned from the store for a month and should take the time to think about his behaviour.

Well, Jordan wasn't having this. He ran to the modeling table to enact some sort of bitter revenge. Sadly there was naught to destroy.

But look! Paints! So Jordan reaches for a pot of Ultramarines Blue and flips the cap. Everyone steps back, fearing the pigment will fly. And then...

...he drinks it.

No, I don't know why, either. But he laughs, and runs for the door, through a sea of people frozen into inaction through confusion.

He get to the door and falters, stumbles. "I..... I don't feel well...."

We watch in silence as he staggers a few steps and clutches his stomach. He looks for a bin to throw up in. He finds none. Which leads to one of the most surreal moments of my life.

I watch a young lad sobbing quietly as he throws up blue-tainted vomit and bitter bile time and time again into the slot of an unfortunate Royal Mail postbox.

Then his mum came to collect him.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Trondheim wrote:

 DukeBadham wrote:
The closest I ever came to an Awkward gaming experience was a few years ago I was at a local tournament and I was talking to a fellow player about a nearby army (fully converted chaos mechanicus army with a Reaver titan counts-as defiler), then I realized my fellow was of the fairer sex, and being a 15 year old war-gamer from an all-boys school I had no experience with women.

Fortunately before it got awkward (due to my social ineptitude) I saw she also played Bretonnians like me (the tourney had 40k and fantasy leagues at the same time) so I was distracted by the lovely paint job on her almost all knight army, so I forgot the gender of said bret player, and we just discussed brets till the tourney started.

Wait what? You seriously mean this! What a sorry place you must have lived then. Or are the school system just that backwards and somewhat old fashioned? Pure comedy gold this thread btw

What do you mean, That I go to an all-boys school (except the sixth-form, that's co-ed. Luckily )
Yeah its pretty old-school in places, we celebrate the anniversary of its founding (founders' day) with a cathedrial service followed by sports day, we have houses and house competitions (we have the same four the school had since its founding, we just added two when we had more students), remembrance assemblies in the same way each year, and prayers after assemblies (not a christian school), and we have a uniform in sixth-form!!!
But being in the top 100 schools (including private schools) in the UK makes it worth it

 DukeBadham wrote:

 TheDraconicLord wrote:

 Gutsnagga wrote:

 DukeBadham wrote:
Jordan, drinker of the enchanted blue paint

The greatest tale known to Dakkakind...

Please fellow veterans, please do tell this tale. I'm very curious.

Found a version of it, I think its the original

miraclefish wrote:There was a lad called Jordan who played when I first got into GW about 12 years ago. He was the archetypal Annoying Game Store Child.

He ran around, barely painted his models, picked up and broke other peoples' and kicked off when his Space Wolves didn't win everything.

After a while, when he broke a nice, kind customer's Leman Russ tank by dropping it, the staff told him he was banned from the store for a month and should take the time to think about his behaviour.

Well, Jordan wasn't having this. He ran to the modeling table to enact some sort of bitter revenge. Sadly there was naught to destroy.

But look! Paints! So Jordan reaches for a pot of Ultramarines Blue and flips the cap. Everyone steps back, fearing the pigment will fly. And then...

...he drinks it.

No, I don't know why, either. But he laughs, and runs for the door, through a sea of people frozen into inaction through confusion.

He get to the door and falters, stumbles. "I..... I don't feel well...."

We watch in silence as he staggers a few steps and clutches his stomach. He looks for a bin to throw up in. He finds none. Which leads to one of the most surreal moments of my life.

I watch a young lad sobbing quietly as he throws up blue-tainted vomit and bitter bile time and time again into the slot of an unfortunate Royal Mail postbox.

Then his mum came to collect him.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

A tale for the ages. May the tale of Jordan be known around the world

Yeah, that's the original. Magnificent tale. Reminds me of the Black and white Space marine on the Black and white bike...

 liquidjoshi wrote:
Yeah, that's the original. Magnificent tale. Reminds me of the Black and white Space marine on the Black and white bike...

Haven't heard this before, explain if you would please.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
Yeah, that's the original. Magnificent tale. Reminds me of the Black and white Space marine on the Black and white bike...

No.

The above tale may have been spun a little bit. I first heard of it when I first got into the hobby at GW Loughborough (IIRC some posters claimed in the past the story originated from GW Derby). Loughborough said it happened there. I distinctly remember there being a splatter of faded blue paint on the path of Biggin Street (where GW L'boro is located), which was attributed to the aforementioned Jordan.

Now, to continue with some awkward gaming experiences from the same area. We had a guy that went by the name of Steve. Steve was a little... explosive in his personality, especially when losing a game; something which happened 99% of the time. Every time Steve flipped out and went too far he got permabanned. This had happened around 3 or 4 times due to the store's quite high turnover of staff. He'd get banned, turn up about a month later and introduce himself to new staff member who had never seen him before and get invited back to play on games nights. Rinse and repeat.
Anyway, Steve would flip out in the most wonderful ways. Once, when he lost a unit of Warwalkers, he stormed over to the painting table, got a pair of clippers and proceeded to mutilate said Warwalkers as he literally threw them back into his tolobox wit no foam in it. He once nearly got into a fight with a friend of mine over his Avatar being 1" out of assault range, even though the previous turn his Melta (3rd ed. Eldar dex. ) was only just in range.
Nearly got into a fight with me when I shot his Falcon and rolled a 1 on the damage table (may not shoot). Steve was very insistent it was may not move. He stomped his feet and bellowed "IT'S MAY NOT MOVE!" Despite the rulebook saying different. He squares up to me and the staffer pops his head from round the back and bans him.


I'll probably have more when I remember them.

Really? That was the first version I'd heard, though I'll take your word for it.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
Really? That was the first version I'd heard, though I'll take your word for it.

All the stores in the East Midlands are in the same group of stores. It would not surprise me if it was a cool story that got passed around the stores at various meetings and each store took it as their own. I have literally no idea where it *definitely* came from. All I know it I was told said story about 16 years ago when I first got into this hobby.

Steve needs a wanted style poster hung inside to warn people.