40k Vending Machine I: Just As Planned

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**Verviedi**

You recieve a featureless black book. On the inside of each page is a square-inch patch of green leather, with the unit entries and stats written below in red ink.

I insert the Black Library.

**ZergSmasher**

You receive a butt-kicking from the Dark Eldar.

I insert a Ravenwing Dark Talon.

**JamesGang**

........

You receive a dead bird's claw.

Let's try this again.
I insert the Society of William Wallace.

**CREEEEEEEEED**

You receive a beheading and your head on a park

I insert Hadrian's Wall

**Ascalam**

you receive beethoven's balls

I insert Napoleon's mistress

**snurl**

You get the clap.

I insert my snow shovel.

**Verviedi**

You recieve a snow blower made entirely out of wood.

I insert an eldritch horror.

**JamesGang**

You receive a childrens bed time story.

I insert the clap from my mistress.

**Verviedi**

JamesGang wrote:
You receive a childrens bed time story.

I insert the clap from my mistress.

You recieve a jack-in-the box that begins clapping whenever placed in the dark.

I insert a cheese falcon.

**JamesGang**

You receive Cheesebacca.

I insert a letter "A" fridge magnet

**snurl**

You get boobies.

I insert the whole refridgerator.

**JamesGang**

You receive a man cave.

I insert my home brewing business.

**snurl**

You get a cork.

I insert empty bottles.

**JamesGang**

You receive urine samples from a trans specied hippo.

I insert a Bruce Willis movie

**KommissarKiln**

You receive a signed autograph of Arnold Schwarzenegger on a photo of him having hunted down and shot a couple of unlucky Tervigons-- I mean Termigants-- nope, definitely Tervigons.

I insert a Carnifex head wall mount.

**Verviedi**

You recieve an infinitely screaming Flyrant testicle.

I insert my mouse.

**ZergSmasher**

You receive a cat that jumps in your face with its claws out.

I insert a Playstation 3 controller.

**KommissarKiln**

You receive a $500(US) graphics card for a PC.

I insert my 400 point list for a tourney happening tomorrow. (Wait, won't I need it back?!

)

**Verviedi**

You recieve a 1850 point Footdar list.

I insert the cat I recieved.

**Guardsmen Bob**

You get the cat back, but it has no fur.

I insert my foot.

**snurl**

You get a centimeter.

I insert a blue rose.

**JamesGang**

You receive a purple sun.

I insert a storm cloud

**NinjaJc01**

You get covered in rain.
I insert Pink Floyd Albums

**CREEEEEEEEED**

You receive a pair of rose tinted sunglasses

I insert bo burnham

**KaptinBadrukk**

You receive a sink

I insert marneus calgar

**JamesGang**

You receive a summons to the fish slap market.

I insert a can of beans.

**CREEEEEEEEED**

You receive 30 years freshness

I insert a zombie apocalypse

**JamesGang**

You receive:

Zombie Apocalypse Tropes
1) The Group shall be:

The Hero
The Badass Sidekick
The Uncooperative Jerk
The Stupid one who never follows the plan and lets the zombie horde into the current Safe Place. Often has a spouse or relative currently a zombie Stupid refuses to accept as being such.
The Secretly Bit one who hides that fact
The Cool Guy who gets killed and eaten half-way through the movie
Hysterical/Catatonic Girl
Joe Average Extra who gets killed and returns later as a zombie

2) If the Group finds a Safe Haven Community, the leader of the community is always an evil donkey cavity, worse than Uncooperative Jerk.

3) The Safe Place never remains safe. If Stupid is not the cause, it's Uncooperative Jerk.

I insert a can of diet root beer

**CREEEEEEEEED**

You receive a demand for a normal one

I insert a normal root beer

**JamesGang**

You receive an empty cask and a thank you note.

I insert bread and butter

( peace out! I'm off to imbibe with me hearties!)