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...Commissariat needs to answer for something?

Does this mean I get to actually use that vault of rail rifle ammunition?

*Looks at child*

He's definitely speaking the truth. I un-sociopathed him. Now, I would appreciate it if you didn't look into my past. Well, especially the parts before I entered this room. There is a lot of horror, as in 200 years worth, and I believe it would he irresponsible to-

*Notices the child bleeding from her nose*

...You went and did it, didn't you.

You told an eight year old child not to think about something. What exactly did you think was going to happen?

Um... I'm terrible at this. There-there. [Hugs child] [Is squeezed back, and drops pistol which discharges and takes a chunk out of the ceiling] I-I'm not designed to be child-safe, okay?

Look, let's see if you can find that pretty horse program on the TV. [Ushers her back into the butter tank and gives her the TV remote]

[Looks at drawing] [Picture shows rows and rows of very stern looking children in grey uniforms] I guess it is a little odd to not have a childhood.

*Looks at image*

That is utterly depressing. When did they grab you? Mechanicus at least had the decency to grab me off the street while I was en route to a job interview...

Didn't you guys already go and clean up a commisariat facility? Oh, what do I care, if it means a free meal, I'm in. Which reminds me, do those zombie things you ran into look edible, Morty?

You mean the zombies the dragon brought after him? I can hear them banging on the door over there.

 Verviedi wrote:
When did they grab you? Mechanicus at least had the decency to grab me off the street while I was en route to a job interview...

Oh it's uh, a supposedly benevolent system to care for war-orphans.
You know, in lieu of parental love and guidance, they feed us, clothe us, educate us, and turn us into small sociopathic, conscience-less killers that lead countless men to their death.
But you know, I didn't starve. [Looks at Blackjack] That's the important part, right?

Those too, but Morty mentioned some undead things from where he got that dagger, or at least one undead and something with a terrible lisp. But these zombies work too.

*moves to the side of the door and opens it a crack, letting the zombies pour in*

Step 1 of fighting, my Kindred, your beak can prove as dangerous as your gun.

*bites down on one zombie's throat for emphasis*

And yes, being fed is one of the greatest gifts one can give.

*lifts a chunk of undead flesh into the air*

Appetizing, no?

[Looks around for dropped gun as Zombies stampede inside] Oh hell.

[Settles for punching them in the head instead] That's for being an over-rated monster!

Not appetizing to me, no.

*shrugs and shoves the meat down his gullet*

Rather tender, if I do say so myself.

*starts clubbing the zombies, completely ignorant of the rifle at his side*

O-ok everyone calm down, I don't know where all this talk of dragons came from but I definitely wouldn't eat those undead BJ21. WHY DID YOU OPEN THE DOOR NOOOOO RUNNN!!! OOOOoooOOOOOOoOoOOoOoOoOoO!!!!!

*Hides in BC's tank? Knock knock?*
(How big is this 'room' we're in lol)

Oh, it's fine.

*ducks a zombie's claw*

They're practically harmless and taste rather good. Perhaps a little bit of seasoning?

*clubs another zombie down and kicks one in the thigh, breaking its leg*

Hmm. Would salt help, maybe?

OOC: I have a drawing of my idea of it somewhere, but I prefer to believe that it is however big is needed for the plot.

BIC: Why are you eating zombies?!

*Picks up rail rifle and begins exploding zombie heads*

Well, I certainly can't eat any of you guys, that's just wrong. Besides, if I figure out what goes good with these walking maggot carriers, then you'll be thanking me for an excellent meal.

Don't worry, these zombies are... oh no... they hang around... on imgur? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Die you zombies! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I think it's sort of TARDIS-like...

[Disappears under a pile of zombies, swearing and kicking profusely] This is not my type of hugging! Mrrrfmmff.

 Matthew wrote:
Don't worry, these zombies are... oh no... they hang around... on imgur? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Die you zombies! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

A pyramid that talks?

 KaptinBadrukk wrote:

 Matthew wrote:
Don't worry, these zombies are... oh no... they hang around... on imgur? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Die you zombies! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

A pyramid that talks?

 Matthew wrote:

 KaptinBadrukk wrote:

 Matthew wrote:
Don't worry, these zombies are... oh no... they hang around... on imgur? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Die you zombies! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

A pyramid that talks?

OOC: No, Matthew. Just No.

 Matthew wrote:
Don't worry, these zombies are... oh no... they hang around... on imgur? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Die you zombies! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Pepe, why did you cut out the Arabic text? That makes this version of you more rare, and therefore of more value to the normies.

OOC: Awww. I like imgur.

...What is your type of hugging?

*Throws a stasis grenade at the pile of zombies surrounding BC, freezing them in time before they can bite him*

I will attend to that... later.

*Begins aiming single-use lasers at each individual zombie in the pile*

 thenoobbomb wrote:

 Matthew wrote:
Don't worry, these zombies are... oh no... they hang around... on imgur? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Die you zombies! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Pepe, why did you cut out the Arabic text? That makes this version of you more rare, and therefore of more value to the normies.

OOC: Arabic text?

 Matthew wrote:

 thenoobbomb wrote:

 Matthew wrote:
Don't worry, these zombies are... oh no... they hang around... on imgur? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Die you zombies! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Pepe, why did you cut out the Arabic text? That makes this version of you more rare, and therefore of more value to the normies.

OOC: Arabic text?

That's what the original image has.

Yay fighting!

Oh child don't look in to my past as i don't think you'll like haggis! and all the hundreds of dwarves I've chopped up in to small pieces.

*charges in to the mob of Zombies while screaming incoherently while swinging his claymore around. Chopping zombies in to little bits.*

[Stares up at frozen zombies] Oh, this is so much less terrifying. [Eye twitch]

My type of hugging is... not with dead people? [Butterfly lands on nose]

 thenoobbomb wrote:

 Matthew wrote:

 thenoobbomb wrote:

 Matthew wrote:
Don't worry, these zombies are... oh no... they hang around... on imgur? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Die you zombies! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Pepe, why did you cut out the Arabic text? That makes this version of you more rare, and therefore of more value to the normies.

OOC: Arabic text?

That's what the original image has.

No... it was Pepe with a Commissar hat and a Bolter...

ooc: He means the normal Illuminati pepe image has a QR code and some arabic writing on it.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
ooc: He means the normal Illuminati pepe image has a QR code and some arabic writing on it.

Ah. Well...

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *insert offensive joke about ISIS here* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

So, Pepe, a question I've been meaning to ask - now that you've left 4chan for Reddit and Tumblr, when will you be making your appearance on 9gag?