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 lord_blackfang wrote:

32, never been kissed.

If I ever come off as abrasive on the forums, now you know why.

You can't just say that and stop there.

Life story, if you would be so kind.

chaos0xomega wrote:
I don't have an unhealthy obsession with ScarJo... should I be worried?

Yes.

And as for her taste/standards in men, I dunno? She finds the usual celebrity males attractive I guess, she never really discusses dudes we know in person in that context... looking at her tumblr... its 98% pictures of women (more fuel for the lesbian thing), and more than half of those are of ScarJo and/or Black Widow comic panels...

She could be bi/pansexual.

I can personally confirm that bisexuality gets you double the amount of rejections as heterosexuality.

 lord_blackfang wrote:
32, never been kissed.

Arrrrh, you win !
Never been kissed either. I mean, never on the lips. The normal greetings kiss on the cheek, I had.

chaos0xomega wrote:
Hmm, I'm tempted to say we should run an experiment and have some of you older gents that have been forever single post pics of yourself so we can all be surprised that you're actually decent looking guys, etc. and perhaps give you an ego boost and perhaps some style advice...

I am so not posting any pictures of me on the internet ! I use this pseudonym on various places, and I do not want to give that information to any stalker.
(I have already been stalked after trolling some racist forum quite a long time ago, lesson learned ).
I have no problem with sharing pictures by PM, though, but I do not think anyone would be interested enough.

chaos0xomega wrote:
Hmm, I'm tempted to say we should run an experiment and have some of you older gents that have been forever single post pics of yourself so we can all be surprised that you're actually decent looking guys, etc. and perhaps give you an ego boost and perhaps some style advice...

This is my pullin' face:


And my "tired and bored out of my skull face"


Bae caught me diggin. Still love her doe.

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:

 lord_blackfang wrote:

32, never been kissed.

If I ever come off as abrasive on the forums, now you know why.

You can't just say that and stop there.

Life story, if you would be so kind.

Grew up in what was pretty much a Serbian ghetto, smartest kid in school but a head shorter than kids 3 years younger, obviously I got the joy of life bullied out of me in short order. My elementary school didn't even know how to nominate me for a scholarship because I was their only student ever to qualify for one. My choleric mother told me every day that I'll never amount to anything after something unrelated pissed her off at work or on her way home. Got into the most elite high school in the country regardless, finished with top grades, then burned out and dropped out of college. I work for less than minimum wage and live with my parents.

I didn't even want to date in high school, I already decided when I enrolled that I'd focus solely on my studies until I was 18. It didn't help that I had pretty much raised myself on classic literature, so I had an overly romanticized view of love and sex. By the time I got over that it was already too late, my self esteem was gone. Women could always smell the loser on me, so eventually I just stopped trying. The few who took the time to get to know me all agree that I'm absolutely the most amazing guy they would never date.

There you have it, Dakka. Don't let your kids grow up to be me.

 Avatar 720 wrote:
Everyone has an unhealthy obsession with ScarJo; I'd be worried if they didn't.

I don't. I think she's brilliant as Black Widow and pretty attractive too boot, but good looking women aren't exactly uncommon and ScarJo has no assets that stand above your average pretty girl. She gets bonus points for being a redhead though. Redheads and brunettes are the best (and I say this as a blonde Scandinavian).

I was kissless much longer than most of my friends, but I also didn't pursue a single girl after my freshmen year of high school until meeting my current GF. Are you guys trying to find a girl and striking out? You know you can't get to first base if you never step up to the plate. Not that I think getting kissed or losing your virginity should be the goal when going after girls, but it is going to end being part of a relationship eventually. Good luck to all of you.

 lord_blackfang wrote:

32, never been kissed..

That's harsh but not insurmountable. I won't even begin to judge but my friend was 31 and was in the same situation (possibly worse due to nasty unrequited infatuations that really badly fethed him up in his teens, I was there and saw the utter carnage it wrought) he also had unfulfilled familial expectation, he is a really intelligent guy but just couldn't hack education so he wasted his time at school and university but he managed to get a girfriend when he was 31 via WoW and is now a happy 'normal' 5 years later and is still happilly attached to the with the same woman. He has also managed to claw himself a decent career through hard work and a bit of luck once he got his act together.

Never give up hope. If you do all is lost.

Oh my...

 lord_blackfang wrote:


I didn't even want to date in high school, I already decided when I enrolled that I'd focus solely on my studies until I was 18. It didn't help that I had pretty much raised myself on classic literature, so I had an overly romanticized view of love and sex. By the time I got over that it was already too late, my self esteem was gone. Women could always smell the loser on me, so eventually I just stopped trying. The few who took the time to get to know me all agree that I'm absolutely the most amazing guy they would never date.

There you have it, Dakka. Don't let your kids grow up to be me.

The part I left in sounds a lot like me. I had very romanticized view of both and also had the whole "sex before marriage is a sin" nonsense drilled into my head by my parents who had conceived me out of wedlock. Gotta love hypocrisy. Between that and reading horror stories of American girls cheating, seeing divorce rate statistics, and just hearing general horror stories of rampant promiscuity killed any interest I had in meeting women. Fact is there isn't such a thing as perfect love or a perfect relationship. Any relationship is going to take work and there will be give and take. Don't think of it as compromising though, it's more like collaboration in order to make it work for both of you. Don't ever compromise your personal moral values. Once you meet the right girl and she realizes who you are, she will love you for it.

 trexmeyer wrote:

 Avatar 720 wrote:
Everyone has an unhealthy obsession with ScarJo; I'd be worried if they didn't.

I don't. I think she's brilliant as Black Widow and pretty attractive too boot, but good looking women aren't exactly uncommon and ScarJo has no assets that stand above your average pretty girl. She gets bonus points for being a redhead though. Redheads and brunettes are the best (and I say this as a blonde Scandinavian).

I was kissless much longer than most of my friends, but I also didn't pursue a single girl after my freshmen year of high school until meeting my current GF. Are you guys trying to find a girl and striking out? You know you can't get to first base if you never step up to the plate. Not that I think getting kissed or losing your virginity should be the goal when going after girls, but it is going to end being part of a relationship eventually. Good luck to all of you.

In all honesty I've never cared at all for hair or skin colour (unless it's discoloured in which case they might want to go to the doctor) I'm more interested in body shape and a nice face.

Oh, oh, I just remembered an anecdote that illustrates the depths of my loathsomeness.

A girl at work chatted me up last week, and from the stuff she knew about me it was obvious that she was an online stalker. How awesome is that for a lonely guy? Well, it took her 10 minutes of actual conversation to decide I'm not worth bothering with after all. She won't even look in my direction now.

Skin color is pretty irrelevant to me as well, with the sole exception being extremely overdone tans. They just don't look right on a lot of people. I just very rarely find blonde girls attractive, even if I know intellectually that they are good looking. A pretty face and anything other than fat or deathly skinny is good in my book.


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 lord_blackfang wrote:
Oh, oh, I just remembered an anecdote that illustrates the depths of my loathsomeness.

A girl at work chatted me up last week, and from the stuff she knew about me it was obvious that she was an online stalker. How awesome is that for a lonely guy? Well, it took her 10 minutes of actual conversation to decide I'm not worth bothering with after all. She won't even look in my direction now.

That hurts and stings. I'm sorry mate.

 lord_blackfang wrote:
Oh, oh, I just remembered an anecdote that illustrates the depths of my loathsomeness.

A girl at work chatted me up last week, and from the stuff she knew about me it was obvious that she was an online stalker. How awesome is that for a lonely guy? Well, it took her 10 minutes of actual conversation to decide I'm not worth bothering with after all. She won't even look in my direction now.

Get a grip mate. At this stage it sounds to me like you are your own worst enemy. If you think that you are worthless then you will act that way. I know that sounds like horrible pop psychology but it is a simple truth.

Far be it for a random guy on the internet to give you advice but it sounds to me as though you could do with a complete change of scenery.

Think mine will almost certainly be one of the worst here, she was one of my students..



(although I should make it clear, as you can't joke about this kind of stuff these days, she was the same age as me).

 Pacific wrote:
Think mine will almost certainly be one of the worst here, she was one of my students...

Paedo! (noise of waving pitchforks)

 Ouze wrote:
We both keep separate accounts and we each have our sphere of responsibilities, billwise, that we cover. She pays the mortgage, I pay the electricity\internets\some credit cards, etc. I make more than her now so generally when we go out I cover it. Our accounts are both joint accounts so we could can dip into one in a pinch but in practice this is how we do it. It just kinda growed that way, organically

Ah, that makes sense. Something that just ended up that way, not as a deliberate design.


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 Dreadclaw69 wrote:
My wife and I have the one account for us both. It's less hassle than shifting around money every month. The only downside is that she can see if I've bought her any surprises

We both take $50 cash each week, to spend on what we like. She mostly saves hers, or spends it on the baby (even though I keep telling her baby stuff should come out of joint money). I spend mine on nerd stuff, sandwiches when I forget to take my lunch to work (most days) and surprises for the wife when I want to surprise her/I screwed up.


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 kronk wrote:
With my ex wife, we had one account. Never again.

Keep that gak separate.

Really? Because of the problems it caused during the break up, or because it caused problems during the relationship?


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 Frazzled wrote:
We have a joint CC, separate CCs, and a CC for kid expenses (we may have had a seprate checking account for them too - all part of the legal stuff with the ex.).

Why the seperate credit cards if you don't mind me asking? My wife and I both have cards linked to a single account, as that way you're only paying one set of fees (and that's normally zero as our combined monthly spend ticks us up to zero fees).

I think we both own the Austin house. Prior to that house she owned it and I was a life tenant. I own my parent's old house in Houston.

I don't know how it works over there, but here the state government hits you up for a stupid amount whenever you transfer ownership of a house, even just to add your partner's name to the title. It would cost about $20,000 to add me to the title of the house she owned before we met. So that stays in her name, but fortunately the law will treat it as a common asset in the event of divorce or death, so it's all good.


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 Nevelon wrote:
Ignoring the fact that as the wage earner, it’s all hers anyway. I think it’s a subconscious, independent, fight the patriarchy thing. I don’t press the point. She’s not as fiscally aware as I’d like, so it helps to have her on a finite allowance, rather then just an open line to the checking account. Not that she couldn’t just charge things to the credit card or central account if she wanted to...

Sounds familiar. My wife insisted on keeping one old savings account for a savings/just in case account, and I explained to her until I was blue in the face that when we have a mortgage offset account with a free redraw facility, then all she wanted was to take $3,000 and make sure that money didn't earn us an interest credit, while all our other money. After trying to get that across to her for maybe a fortnight, I eventually figured that the $170 odd in interest it cost a year was worth giving up if it really made her happy


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 gorgon wrote:
We merged everything. I joke with her that she has her slush fund, but really it's our secondary account that I have access to also.

I agree -- I don't get it. I don't know how you really build anything together when everything becomes an "I pay this much, you pay this much" conversation. We had a set of friends that handled money the way you describe. And surprise, the marriage didn't last and money was part of the issue. It's probably a solid indicator that you're both not 100% all-in on the marriage.

That was my original take on it, but a few people have given some really good answers in this thread, and have shown that coming from different viewpoints and with different conditions in their lives, seperate accounts can make sense for people who are fully committed to their marriages.


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 ScootyPuffJunior wrote:
I know a lot of people have their reasons for keeping money separated but, as stupid as this may sound to some people, I know my wife and I will always be together. I know it sounds sappy but her and I both believe it.

Once my wife and I were engaged, we set up a system where my pay went straight in to the mortgage offset on her house, with a small bit siphoned off to cover the cash shortfall between what the tenant paid in my house and the interest.

This was, in one sense, a huge risk on my part, because we weren't married and if we'd seperated I probably would have lost all that money, as it was on the offset attached to her place. But, like you, it never felt like a risk because I just never had any doubt we were going to stay together. Sounds sappy, yeah but it is what it is.

I've often wondered if she'd have been happy to throw her pay into my mortgage while keeping her's interest only. Might have to ask her that tonight...


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chaos0xomega wrote:
Preaching to the choir gorgon, I already know this, and am *trying* to work on it, but emotional response isn't something you can just turn on or off.

As for straightness, I've wondered the same... she has (IMO) an unhealthy obsession with Scarlett Johansen, so I haven't ruled it out, but she claims to be into dudes and to want a boyfriend etc, so maybe she isn't but she hasn't yet realized it (if thats even possible)? Theres also the whole thing where she pretty much obsesses over guys that try to date her after they give up and get involved with someone else, so maybe not... dunno.

Gorgon is giving really good advice. Idolising women is just as unhealthy as demeaning them. Just look at them as people, and talk to them and take them as they are.

I mean, I know that's easier said that done because there's a whole brain load of chemicals making us think crazy things when we're young and single and looking at a pretty girl, but it's basically how you have to do it. And yeah, it can take a lot of learning experiences to get half good at it.

 Palindrome wrote:
If you think that you are worthless then you will act that way.

Well, getting a sense of self-worth is easier said than done. I know.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 Palindrome wrote:
If you think that you are worthless then you will act that way.

Well, getting a sense of self-worth is easier said than done. I know.

It's easier then meeting whatever unrealistic standards you currently have set for yourself.

 sebster wrote:

 Dreadclaw69 wrote:
My wife and I have the one account for us both. It's less hassle than shifting around money every month. The only downside is that she can see if I've bought her any surprises

We both take $50 cash each week, to spend on what we like. She mostly saves hers, or spends it on the baby (even though I keep telling her baby stuff should come out of joint money). I spend mine on nerd stuff, sandwiches when I forget to take my lunch to work (most days) and surprises for the wife when I want to surprise her/I screwed up.

We aren't huge spenders so we usually get little things for ourselves when the urge arises - usually something Xbox related (we each have our own consoles). I'm forbidden by my wife from buying her stuff if I screw up

Now I think about it I sorta have a separate account from my wife. But it is back in Ireland. And I have to show up in person to withdraw the cash. It's only open because it stops us having to convert money when we visit, and I should be getting back pay from a prior employer.

my last relationship was a woman i work with
i basically just got bored one night at home, so i struck up a conversation on facebook to pass the time
hit it off pretty well, and started spending some time together on our days off (we worked different shifts, so we rarely ran into each other at work)
after about half a year or so, it became apparent we were better as just friends, so dialed things down
still get along and hang out from time to time, but we've both moved on

 Pacific wrote:
Think mine will almost certainly be one of the worst here, she was one of my students..



(although I should make it clear, as you can't joke about this kind of stuff these days, she was the same age as me).

When I was a TA the temptation to hook up with some of my older students was quite high. Of course it bears mentioning that I started my TA position at 24, and my "older students" were all over 20.

My future wife moved into the same apartment complex that my girlfriend and I were in. I would never talk to her for 2 reasons.

First: My girlfriend was a jealous, psychotic whore. I am actually being quite polite about this ... I can assure you, as would her twin brother if he were here.

Second: I saw my future wife getting groceries out of her car whilst I was smoking a cigarette outside one day. I can actually remember my thoughts.
"I can never talk to that woman ... EVER!" It all had to do with the simple fact that I wanted to use her like a plastic feth doll. I have never cheated on any woman in my life, and recognizing and eliminating primal urges like that by never talking to her is the key. Needless to say my GF turned out to be a lying, cheating type and I put her ass out of my house.

Off topic but I feel it should be said. For those of you that have a hard time talking to women or asking them out for fear of rejection, I know all about that as I fall into that category, I have the simplest solution for you. See a woman you like and want to go out with, ask her this question: So when are you going to take me out to eat?

Typically I have gotten 3 different responses.
1st: Why should I pay? This is good. She is not saying no and is actually open to the idea of going out with you. You respond with something like this: Fine ... I guess I will pay, where are we going?

2nd: I don't know. When do you want to go out to eat? Again, this is good. You have just scored a date and she is VERY keen to the idea as she wants to spend money to get to know you better. My suggestion, pay for the meal regardless ... otherwise you look like a chump.

3rd: Not going to happen. Not the response you are looking for but now you know that she has already made up her mind that you never had a shot anyways ... no need to buy her drinks all night to find that out.

I hope this helps someone because it helped me out in my younger days of whoring.

 lord_blackfang wrote:

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:

 lord_blackfang wrote:

32, never been kissed.

If I ever come off as abrasive on the forums, now you know why.

You can't just say that and stop there.

Life story, if you would be so kind.

Grew up in what was pretty much a Serbian ghetto, smartest kid in school but a head shorter than kids 3 years younger, obviously I got the joy of life bullied out of me in short order. My elementary school didn't even know how to nominate me for a scholarship because I was their only student ever to qualify for one. My choleric mother told me every day that I'll never amount to anything after something unrelated pissed her off at work or on her way home. Got into the most elite high school in the country regardless, finished with top grades, then burned out and dropped out of college. I work for less than minimum wage and live with my parents.

I didn't even want to date in high school, I already decided when I enrolled that I'd focus solely on my studies until I was 18. It didn't help that I had pretty much raised myself on classic literature, so I had an overly romanticized view of love and sex. By the time I got over that it was already too late, my self esteem was gone. Women could always smell the loser on me, so eventually I just stopped trying. The few who took the time to get to know me all agree that I'm absolutely the most amazing guy they would never date.

There you have it, Dakka. Don't let your kids grow up to be me.

Don';t be down on yourself blackfang there is always hope. There a type of women I call project managers and they sound tailor made for you, I should know in my messy drug addicted days I had quite a few interested in me, looking bacxk now I have no idea why . So find a nice women who wants to 'fix ' you up and bam instant relationship*.

*these relationships may not end well and can be controlling.

Also as someone who has had a few substamce issues, if you unnhappy about yourself chang something. Exersize is usually the best way to start positive change. Just a 15 minute walk in the sun every 2nd day will help change your outlook. I hope you can change your outlook.

Hey, chaps. I've started a thread so we can share our dating 'best practice': http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/0/582154.page#6582680

Get involved!

 Polonius wrote:
It's easier then meeting whatever unrealistic standards you currently have set for yourself.

Not sure. I mean, for meeting the standard I at least know what I should do. How do you work on raising your self-worth if not by trying to improve yourself ?

Bullockist wrote:
Also as someone who has had a few substamce issues, if you unnhappy about yourself chang something. Exersize is usually the best way to start positive change. Just a 15 minute walk in the sun every 2nd day will help change your outlook.

I tried doing push-ups every morning. It did help with body image, but still has all the rest to work on. And when I reached about 40 push-up a day, my wrist started hurting, so I stopped, out of fear I might damage something. Did not start again after the pain went away, but it was okay.
I also do 15 minutes biking uphill everyday, but usually under a gray sky rather than the sun, that is how I go to work .

I guess we should take that conversation to the other thread now. Answer me there .

Last serious girlfriend and I met in High School. Turned out I was being used as a shoulder to cry on, so we split, really violently. It was fun. It was an emotional roller coaster. I was so carefree and relaxed in between spurts of confusion and anxiety about what could have been, and what was. I wish I could hold onto that feeling.

We started talking recently, and it made me happy, but I just don't care at this point, being thirteen miles away from home and surrounded by Japanese women who don't speak enough english to whine about things.

I have never had a girlfriend. I had a couple chances in high school that I blew because I was too stupid and was thinking of other things, video games and warhammer ect. Every girl I have asked out has been a rejection and now i'm too scared to even ask. Online dating has been a disaster, tried four sites and all messages remain unanswered.

I do not let it get to me. I have a great family and will never leave them. I have a good steady job and about to buy a house. Just keep on keeping on.

 Avatar 720 wrote:

chaos0xomega wrote:
Hmm, I'm tempted to say we should run an experiment and have some of you older gents that have been forever single post pics of yourself so we can all be surprised that you're actually decent looking guys, etc. and perhaps give you an ego boost and perhaps some style advice...

This is my pullin' face:

Spoiler:

And my "tired and bored out of my skull face"

Spoiler:

Bae caught me diggin. Still love her doe.

Spoiler:

I wasn't being serious, lol, but for what its worth, I'm sure you could be quite the heartbreaker if you tried.

Grew up in what was pretty much a Serbian ghetto, smartest kid in school but a head shorter than kids 3 years younger, obviously I got the joy of life bullied out of me in short order. My elementary school didn't even know how to nominate me for a scholarship because I was their only student ever to qualify for one. My choleric mother told me every day that I'll never amount to anything after something unrelated pissed her off at work or on her way home. Got into the most elite high school in the country regardless, finished with top grades,

That sucks dude, I could see why you might have anxiety around women, but props to you for overcoming all tha....

then burned out and dropped out of college. I work for less than minimum wage and live with my parents.

Neeeevermind....

I didn't even want to date in high school, I already decided when I enrolled that I'd focus solely on my studies until I was 18. It didn't help that I had pretty much raised myself on classic literature, so I had an overly romanticized view of love and sex. By the time I got over that it was already too late, my self esteem was gone. Women could always smell the loser on me, so eventually I just stopped trying. The few who took the time to get to know me all agree that I'm absolutely the most amazing guy they would never date.

Boy that sounds familiar (the not dating til 18 and the overly romantacized view of things, etc. the rest not so much). Get yourself back into school, try to finish your degree, move out of your parents place, get a haricut, learn to dress like a proper gentleman and break some hearts. As for your self-esteem, don't let someones rejection of you dictate your view of yourself, women don't smell the loser on you (or anyone else) they smell the lack of self-confidence.

Are you guys trying to find a girl and striking out? You know you can't get to first base if you never step up to the plate. Not that I think getting kissed or losing your virginity should be the goal when going after girls, but it is going to end being part of a relationship eventually. Good luck to all of you.

Cant speak for anyone else, but I'm not really looking, I'm more waiting to find someone who can capture my interest enough that I feel motivated to do something about it, there have been one or two in the past, it didn't work out, since then not so much... my general attitude is that I (for the most part) enjoy the freedom of being single/not having the commitment and responsibility of a relationship, etc, so if I'm going to give all that up, it better be someone worth giving it up for.

A girl at work chatted me up last week, and from the stuff she knew about me it was obvious that she was an online stalker. How awesome is that for a lonely guy? Well, it took her 10 minutes of actual conversation to decide I'm not worth bothering with after all. She won't even look in my direction now.

You just sound like the most depressingly awkward man on earth... I'm willing to bet you are actually a decent looking guy, just not very well adjusted socially, its something you can improve if you make the effort to... I was in the same boat, fortunately I made some great friends in college and got involved with ROTC (Reserve Officers Training Corps, basically military officer training while you're in college) and between those two things I got into shape, came out of my shell, learned to be comfortable in social settings/interactions, learned to dress, etc. I actually do manage to turn heads (of both men and women, nothing is more of an ego-boost to me than a gay guy trying to make a pass at me lol), I think I could do pretty well for myself if I could get over that one anxiety I have (of messing up).

Get a grip mate. At this stage it sounds to me like you are your own worst enemy. If you think that you are worthless then you will act that way. I know that sounds like horrible pop psychology but it is a simple truth.

Far be it for a random guy on the internet to give you advice but it sounds to me as though you could do with a complete change of scenery.

Agreed.

Gorgon is giving really good advice. Idolising women is just as unhealthy as demeaning them. Just look at them as people, and talk to them and take them as they are.

I agree, still not something I can turn on/off at will (though I have got way way way better at it, I think in part due to a series of pretty bad heartbreaks in rapid succession...

Typically I have gotten 3 different responses.
1st: Why should I pay? This is good. She is not saying no and is actually open to the idea of going out with you. You respond with something like this: Fine ... I guess I will pay, where are we going?

2nd: I don't know. When do you want to go out to eat? Again, this is good. You have just scored a date and she is VERY keen to the idea as she wants to spend money to get to know you better. My suggestion, pay for the meal regardless ... otherwise you look like a chump.

3rd: Not going to happen. Not the response you are looking for but now you know that she has already made up her mind that you never had a shot anyways ... no need to buy her drinks all night to find that out.

Interesting strategy... I think I'm going to modify it a bit, but I like the concept.

Don';t be down on yourself blackfang there is always hope. There a type of women I call project managers and they sound tailor made for you, I should know in my messy drug addicted days I had quite a few interested in me, looking bacxk now I have no idea why . So find a nice women who wants to 'fix ' you up and bam instant relationship*.

This... although you might need to start snorting/injecting/smoking stuff... and get lots of tattoos and/or piercings... maybe get arrested for a couple minor offenses... it would help if you were in a band or had a fast car too...

Also as someone who has had a few substamce issues, if you unnhappy about yourself chang something. Exersize is usually the best way to start positive change. Just a 15 minute walk in the sun every 2nd day will help change your outlook. I hope you can change your outlook.

THIS!!! Working out did SO much for my self-confidence. At first you'll be impatient, not seeing any results, you might feel timid going to the gym, thinking you're wasting your time and you're just a weakling... after a couple weeks you'll notice that exercises that were giving you trouble before have become a bit easier, you'll feel more confident and comfortable, you'll start increasing reps/adding weight... you'll notice your mental acuity increasing slightly from improved bloodflow, etc. about 4-6 weeks in other people will probably start noticing (assuming you're following healthy dietary habits, etc.) that you're looking in better shape, about 8-12 weeks in you'll start noticing the physical changes in yourself, loss of fat, increased muscle mass, improved posture, you'll notice your shirts fit tighter and your pants are looser around the waist, and it only gets better from there. Your confidence will improve greatly, you'll get more attention, and you'll be more comfortable receiving that attention, etc.

 Da Boss wrote:
So, what's your story? Traditional "dating", met through work, the dreaded online dating thingy?

We worked together on an archaeological project. She was a student, this was my very first project as an engineer, and well... these kind of things happen, right ?

Let's dig deeper.
Since, I'm an engineer, I would (normally) know next to nothing when it comes to things like history, archaeology and so on... if it weren't for historical wargaming.

After all, when you're into historicals, reading things about history isn't worse than reading things about the 40k lore. Reality vs fiction, that's the only difference. Which means Agustina de Arago actually had bigger balls than Yarrick.

I digress. I basically got the job thanks to wargaming, since I wasn't the best in my field, but was the only one to have both the geeky technical knowledge and basic understanding of roman history and archaeology.

We were working on coastal sites, on the border of the Adriatic Sea. Sea, sun and hot french and italian students fellow co-workers.
Did I forget to mention I was the only guy in the team ? My collegues seemed like the geek that actually knew something about the things they're in, valued their work, didn't need a translator to understand their discussions and seemed to share their passion of history.

After all, remembering there were several Scipios isn't harder than remembering Slaneesh's favorite number. Well, I'm not sure it would be have turned out so well if I only played WHFB or 40k. Women are strange creatures that don't always seem to really understand the true beauty that lies in a Nurgle or Skaven army.

Long story short, historicals got me a job, and the opportunity to get laid win the heart of a beautiful, beautiful girl.

Worked at a bar where my GF was also working, we ended up hooking up one night after work and that led to being regular feth buddies. After about a month I asked if she wanted to go out, didn't get an answer for about a week until one morning she said yes. I was like yes what? to which she said yes you idiot, I'll be your girlfriend. Been together over a year now.

Lured in by the D and stayed for the personality.