'How to get a date' by Dakka

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**Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl**

You can still miss it even if you do not know what you are missing out on. You could be thinking “Oh, I so wish I fell in love, I would really like to know what it feels like” or “Love? Whatever. Maybe it will happen to me on day, but currently I do not care”.
You seem to be more like this second case.

**Glaiceana**

You'll know what love is eventually when you feel it. Sometimes you think its what you feel, and then only find out later after the relationship has ended and something else happens that it wasn't really love, because you'll have something to compare it to. I guess its just experience really.
But yeah when it happens, you'll know.

**Ribon Fox**

Love is a deep dark hole with no escape, no hope, no rescue...and every time it hurts :(

**chaos0xomega**

Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
It has been about two month since I went climbing with that girl (she was on holiday in a bunch of different places, and then too busy, and then in London, and then some cousin visited, and then it was my turn not to be available…). We will climb this Saturday, and then she is leaving for Spain on Sunday for a month. So, not much practicing climbing . It is too bad, she was pretty good at it.

So, I now literally owe my life to this girl.
I was trying to get the rope through the second anchor, and I fell. I flipped, and my head was pretty damn close to the ground, but she held my just above it! Pretty damn scary stuff, but thankfully I only scratched my pinkie, which is pretty miraculous.
I also asked her if she had a boyfriend, to which she answered “No, why”. I answered “Because (you shouldn't have trouble finding one since) you are good at sport, and at art, and cultured (that one actually took me something like 3 seconds because what first came to my mind was “cultivated”, but I knew that this was not the proper English word ) and nice and beautiful”. I am not sure anymore if I said the part in parenthesis and italics because I went a bit confused at that time, but I think I meant to say it. She answered that she was just there for one more month, which may have been just a way to say it nicely, but it is still a good argument. She also asked me how old I am, and well, she is only 21, I did not realized we had a 6 years age gap. After that, we kind of switched subject. I am still quite a bit confused. I am not sure why I am talking about all this personal stuff online either, especially with a username that quite a bunch of my IRL relations know .
Also, did I mention I owe her my life.

Wow, well at least you tried... I'd say it seems that the whole 'only here for one more month' thing was a polite way of saying no thank you, but I can't be sure. Points for being very direct with it, though you might have 'laid it on thick'.

Ashiraya wrote:
I have never been in love with anyone. /foreveralone

Its overrated.... well, to be fair I dont know that I've ever been in love either, I THOUGHT I was but the feelings were very toxic (in retrospect) so I think it was more of a feeling of need rather than actual love.

For what it's worth, I'm told a good rule of thumb for 'appropriateness' is half your age, plus 7. So there's no real need for either of you to feel too awkward.

Yup, thats the standard metric that ive heard as well.

Corpsesarefun wrote:
Nevelon wrote:
Age is not the end of the world.

It sort of is though, isn't it? Age is the end of most things.

Thats deep brother.

Ribon Fox wrote:
Love is a deep dark hole with no escape, no hope, no rescue...and every time it hurts :(

Huh... maybe I have been in love.... (or more likely you've also been in the same sort of toxic relationships I've been in in the past.

**Ribon Fox**

The last relationship I was in sort of imploded as if some one devieded by zero. I was still in love with him but he just stomped on my heart and kicked me out into an unknown city with no friends or funds....am I bitter....just a wee bit

**Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl**

chaos0xomega wrote:
Wow, well at least you tried... I'd say it seems that the whole 'only here for one more month' thing was a polite way of saying no thank you, but I can't be sure. Points for being very direct with it, though you might have 'laid it on thick'.

Well, apparently that did not make her uncomfortable and she is still interested in going climbing and stuff with me. And now I know I can do it, it is not all that hard. So, all considering, I guess it did not went too bad.

chaos0xomega wrote:
For what it's worth, I'm told a good rule of thumb for 'appropriateness' is half your age, plus 7. So there's no real need for either of you to feel too awkward.

Yup, thats the standard metric that ive heard as well.

Well, 27/2+7=20.5, and for some reason I answered I was 28 instead of 27 (confusion

), so we were barely on the limit…

Ribon Fox wrote:
Love is a deep dark hole […]...and every time it hurts :(

That is no joke. Did you had a painful experience?
[edit]Answered while I was typing this.[/edit]

**Easy E**

Too all of you who have loved and lost. It hurts and you feel like you never want to go through it again. However, that feeling is soon erased when you love again.

**chaos0xomega**

Or with alcohol... copious, copious amounts of alcohol.... ;P

I forgot to mention, I met up with my ex girlfriend over the weekend haha. I didnt particularly want to but she didn't leave me with much of a choice (since we were going to be at the same place at the same time and I didnt fancy playing hide and seek). It was actually pleasant, she was very respectful of my boundaries, didn't try crossing any lines or pushing herself on me or anything, we had a nice talk and caught up some. She seems more stable and mature than last I saw her, though she is still very much totally insane.

Also, I started talking to this one girl on Tinder, who is just... goddamn.... but she might be a bit too freaky for me lol

**Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl**

chaos0xomega wrote:
Or with alcohol... copious, copious amounts of alcohol.... ;P

Why does that sound like a bad advice?

**Avatar 720**

chaos0xomega wrote:
Also, I started talking to this one girl on Tinder, who is just... goddamn.... but she might be a bit too freaky for me lol

How freaky? Cuffs and gags? Whips and chains? Spikes and racks? We need a scale to check against! ...For science, of course. >.>

My Tinder has been in complete radio silence for over a week with only two matches, both of which just didn't bother replying.

I did find someone by one of their social network IDs in their profile, but I think we suit friendship more than a relationship at the moment; but I can always use a good friend. xD

**Nevelon**

Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
chaos0xomega wrote:
Or with alcohol... copious, copious amounts of alcohol.... ;P

Why does that sound like a bad advice?

Because it is.

It’s OK to drink if you feel you want to drink. But when you need one, it’s time to take a step back.

And alcohol should never be used for memory management.

**Avatar 720**

Lick me if I'm wrong, but I think chaos was joking...

**chaos0xomega**

Avatar 720 wrote:
Lick me if I'm wrong, but I think chaos was joking...

No licks for you! (You were right, it was a joke, relax people lol)

Avatar 720 wrote:
chaos0xomega wrote:
Also, I started talking to this one girl on Tinder, who is just... goddamn.... but she might be a bit too freaky for me lol

How freaky? Cuffs and gags? Whips and chains? Spikes and racks? We need a scale to check against! ...For science, of course. >.>

My Tinder has been in complete radio silence for over a week with only two matches, both of which just didn't bother replying.

I did find someone by one of their social network IDs in their profile, but I think we suit friendship more than a relationship at the moment; but I can always use a good friend. xD

She hasn't quite come out and told me, only alluded to it, but the vibe I'm getting from her is that shes into some very hardcore BDSM type stuff, like I've dabbled myself, I'm all for "cuffs and gags", "whips and chains" starts getting into a bit of a grey area for me, and then the spikes and racks are right out... the general gist of what I'm getting seems to be in the "whips and chains" to "spikes and racks" spectrum... The aforementioned ex is in that spectrum of things, and is (apparently) now working as a professional dominatrix, and I sure as hell couldn't handle her kinkiness when we were together, so I dont know that I want to even try that again lol.

**Easy E**

So, anyone getting any dates lately?

I thought about trying to get a date with someone but it turns out my wife was already booked. <Rimshot>

**Avatar 720**

Easy E wrote:
So, anyone getting any dates lately?

Yes. Thousands. Millions, even.

No. None. Less than none, even.

I have had -11 dates.

**Nevelon**

Easy E wrote:
So, anyone getting any dates lately?

I thought about trying to get a date with someone but it turns out my wife was already booked. <Rimshot>

I’ve got a date next Tuesday with The Wife. It’s our 14th wedding anniversary. We always go back to the restaurant we had our reception at. I can still fit into the tuxedo I was married in, which I wear every year on that night. /smug.

While it might be easier for us old married folks to find the someone for a date, it becomes much harder to find the time for one. At least once a year, we make the time.

**Albatross**

Easy E wrote:
So, anyone getting any dates lately?

Yeah, I've been doing ok lately. I was dating this girl for a couple of weeks, but then I met someone I liked more, so that was that. That girl is coming to stay next week. It's fething complicated, single life.

**KalashnikovMarine**

I have two dates lined up.

**Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl**

Easy E wrote:
So, anyone getting any dates lately?

Nope. Remember that girl? Back then we could not find a time to meet for the next two weeks (first week she canceled, second one I canceled), and afterward she was supposed to leave for some vacations in South Korea. I had given her the email address of a friend there and everything. So, since I had some movie for today, I thought why not ask her if she wants to come along too. It had been more than a month since she left, so likely she had came back. I wrote her an email one week ago, and got no answer. So, I send her a text yesterday, and she answered in the evening. She actually never went to South Korea, had seen my email but not answered it, was not available to go to the movie.
So… no date.

**stanman**

Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
I wrote her an email one week ago, and got no answer. So, I send her a text yesterday, and she answered in the evening. She actually never went to South Korea, had seen my email but not answered it, was not available to go to the movie.
So… no date.

That is a perfect signature of her being completely uninterested. Had she even any mild interest she would have expressed it. Don't look at it as her being too busy or otherwise occupied, if that were the case she would have said lets do it another time, blowing you off completely is a clear statement of disinterest.

**Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl**

stanman wrote:
That is a perfect signature of her being completely uninterested.

That is how I understood it, yes. Well, that is how I understand about anything, though.

stanman wrote:
if that were the case she would have said lets do it another time, blowing you off completely is a clear statement of disinterest.

Well, to be honest, she did mention that she would maybe go to the Meltdown the next day in her text. I am not sure if she meant Friday or Saturday because she sent the text on Friday at about 0:30 AM, and I do not know if it was an invitation to meet her there, but I could not go either way anyway.

**chaos0xomega**

Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
Easy E wrote:
So, anyone getting any dates lately?

Nope. Remember that girl? Back then we could not find a time to meet for the next two weeks (first week she canceled, second one I canceled), and afterward she was supposed to leave for some vacations in South Korea. I had given her the email address of a friend there and everything. So, since I had some movie for today, I thought why not ask her if she wants to come along too. It had been more than a month since she left, so likely she had came back. I wrote her an email one week ago, and got no answer. So, I send her a text yesterday, and she answered in the evening. She actually never went to South Korea, had seen my email but not answered it, was not available to go to the movie.
So… no date.

oof, that hurts man, sorry :(

No dates for me, sent a few messages back and forth with various chicks on tinder, but nothing to show. Im terrible at conversing with people who i dont know and may or may not have anything in common with (it aint any easier on tinder), the people on the other end dont usually make it any easier - even when they message me first (seemingly very common, at least for me).

**Avatar 720**

chaos0xomega wrote:
No dates for me, sent a few messages back and forth with various chicks on tinder

Back and forth? Nobody on Tinder even responds to my first message - and before anyone says anything, no, I'm not typing "Hi." and sitting there waiting like a lemon.

I also matched with someone who must've deleted their account or blocked me moments later, since they were gone before I had a chance to see who they were. xD

I've pretty much given up on Tinder; I just use it whenever I'm bored now as a way of passing the time.

**Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl**

chaos0xomega wrote:
oof, that hurts man, sorry :(

Thanks, man!

chaos0xomega wrote:
Im terrible at conversing with people who i dont know and may or may not have anything in common with (it aint any easier on tinder), the people on the other end dont usually make it any easier - even when they message me first (seemingly very common, at least for me).

Well, maybe try to look for things you may have in common. In which “mainstream” fields do you have a particular interest? For instance, are you really fond of music, or movies? Are you really much into a sport? If so, maybe just ask them for their tastes in that domain, and eventually propose to do some related activity. Something like “Which kind of music do you like? I am going to some jazz concert next Saturday, are you interested in joining?”
(I am no expert though, of course. So take my advises with some salt.)

Avatar 720 wrote:
Back and forth? Nobody on Tinder even responds to my first message - and before anyone says anything, no, I'm not typing "Hi." and sitting there waiting like a lemon.

So, apparently Tinder is not the Holy Land that we have been promised

. That almost makes up for all I did to make it work with no success. Almost.
Maybe the problem is your picture, or maybe it is just that Tinder is not working well in your area…
Maybe you'll get lucky later.

**Easy E**

Avatar 720 wrote:
chaos0xomega wrote:
No dates for me, sent a few messages back and forth with various chicks on tinder

Back and forth? Nobody on Tinder even responds to my first message - and before anyone says anything, no, I'm not typing "Hi." and sitting there waiting like a lemon.

That bring sup a good question. How do you start a back and forth. I was in "the game" way before Social Media was a thing so I have no idea.

@Alby- Got any suggestions?

**Daemonhammer**

There is no hope for us wargamer folk.

**poppa G**

Daemonhammer wrote:
There is no hope for us wargamer folk.

nah mango, some of us are doing good. I think getting started is the hardest part. Once you know what you're doing it becomes easier.

**Daemonhammer**

Well im a pesimist by nature, but lets hope you are right.

**poppa G**

Daemonhammer wrote:
Well im a pesimist by nature, but lets hope you are right.

As am I, so it can make relationships tricky sometimes. Expecting the worst out of everyone starts to mess with your thinking.

**Daemonhammer**

The way I look at it is if I expext the worst I can only be suprised positively.